all I know about parenting an autistic
child I learned from Albus Dumbledore
and Harry Potter when I was pregnant
with my son 20 years ago that was the
summer that Harry Potter and the
Sorcerer’s Stone was published I became
an instant Potter head I read and reread
all the books in order in preparation
for the next one to come out and I
really read those books to kind of
escape what was happening in my daily
life my son and daughter both have
autism I didn’t realize when my son was
born what really was going on I knew
something was different I just couldn’t
put my finger on it really and he was
real little luckily when we were given a
diagnosis for him he couldn’t breastfeed
and he never really slept I knew he
wasn’t like other babies I knew but
there wasn’t anything that was a big
enough red flag for us to really be too
concerned but it was always in the back
of my mind but I didn’t know that he was
a wizard born to muggle parents I didn’t
get it I spent most of that time and for
a lot of years to come pushing my wizard
kids to be muggles like I said when my
son was about 18 months old we got a
referral from the pediatrician to go see
a speech therapist my son had a lot of
words to say but he put them together in
a little bit of a strange order I don’t
know how else to explain it I thought he
sounded super smart so we went and
within about five minutes of hanging out
in her office and
my son playing on the floor she said oh
yeah he definitely has autism so that’s
what it felt like it felt like crucio
the torture curse it was completely from
left-field I couldn’t I couldn’t breathe
I didn’t know what to say this was not
the reason why we were at this
appointment when all was said and done
we were very lucky to be able to catch
this at such an early age most kids are
but it did take me a lot of years to
realize that autism is not a curse even
though some days and some moments it
feels that way but most of my days now I
really look back on that and regret that
I had such a muggle mindset back then
nobody gave me a letter to Hogwarts
nobody gave me a ticket to platform 9
and 3/4 we were just kind of out there
we didn’t know anyone else in our lives
that had a family member or a child with
autism we didn’t know what to do we
didn’t know what was the right path and
we didn’t have anyone to get advice from
we were definitely muggles in a wizard
world we just didn’t know it so we tried
everything there was to try every
therapy every intervention we just threw
it all at the wall and tried to see what
would stick I didn’t want to waste one
single moment that I could be giving my
son and my daughter the ability to
become more like everyone else I wanted
them to become like me like all the
other little kids around them I wanted
them to become muggles
nobody said that to me when my son was
diagnosed at 18 months old Nolan said
you’re a wizard Harry they just said oh
he has autism nobody told me that
wizards are awesome nobody told me that
meeting my kids where they were not
where I wanted them to be would be a
life changing perspective for them and
for me nobody showed me all the positive
things about having someone in my life
that has autism fear of a name only
increases fear of the thing itself
that’s not Albus Dumbledore that’s
Hermione Granger when my son was younger
the differences were much more subtle
when he was in preschool first grade
second grade and I could sort of go
about pretending like he was getting all
of these therapies and interventions and
treatments and that eventually he would
catch up and be just like everybody else
nope
he has autism only when I was much more
comfortable with that word with that
concept when I embrace that about my
kids were they actually able to make
great leaps and bounds in their growth
back in those days 20 years ago there
was no Google I didn’t have spell books
to look in to find out what was the
right thing to do
to fix my kids but there are no magical
spells to make a disability disappear
what I didn’t know is that that’s not
the goal if you’re a wizard you should
be the best wizard you can be the goal
is not to be a wizard who’s mistaken for
a muggle here’s Albus Dumbledore it does
not do well to dwell on dreams and
forget to live remember that well I used
to have muggle dreams for sure I wanted
my son to play on the baseball team in
the town I wanted him to go to birthday
parties and go to college but muggle
dreams for wizards are irrelevant my
daughter is a witch and my son is a
wizard wizards go to Hogwarts not
Harvard and I realized that that’s how
it should be
we shouldn’t be forcing our kids or each
other to be something that we aren’t it
matters not what someone is born but
what they grow to be if you ask any
parent of a child of any age what they
want for their child in their future
they want them to be happy they want
them to be successful they want them to
live full lives but that’s not what I
was doing I was focusing on trying to
make my kids into muggles once I let go
of those expectations everything changed
it is our choices that show who we truly
are far more than our abilities when my
kids were little I would ask them about
their choices every day when they got
home from school did you make good
choices today honey what I was really
asking my son is if he did anything he
that was unusual that he shouldn’t have
been doing that would make him stick out
from the other kids but I wasn’t
thinking about my choices in those
instances what about my choices I chose
to hold my wizard kids to a muggle
standard but they’re not muggles they’re
autistic when I became comfortable with
that word with that fact they began to
blossom into the people that they are
differences of habit and language are
nothing at all
if our aims are identical and our hearts
are open I think that can be used in a
lot of different circumstances but in
relation to autism I want people to
embrace my kids not try to change them I
want every person to be honored for what
they have to offer as an individual
everyone has different strengths and
weaknesses some people are shy some
people are outgoing some people are
awkward some people are silly some
people communicate verbally other people
communicate using sign language or even
an iPad and all of those things are okay
none of those people have any more or
less to offer than the next person every
person deserves to belong if we embrace
the Wizards in our muggle world we’ll
all be better off for it happiness can
be found even in the darkest of times if
one only remembers to turn on the light
when you walk around in the dark
sometimes you trip over things a little
nervous maybe so turn on the light you
won’t need any Polyjuice potion to turn
you into someone else you won’t need any
Felix Felicis
to give you a little luck in your life
half-bloods purebloods neurotypical
‘he’s autistic people everybody has the
right to be included and valued in their
community and if we all do that our
glasses will not be half-full they will
overflow thank you [Applause]
child I learned from Albus Dumbledore
and Harry Potter when I was pregnant
with my son 20 years ago that was the
summer that Harry Potter and the
Sorcerer’s Stone was published I became
an instant Potter head I read and reread
all the books in order in preparation
for the next one to come out and I
really read those books to kind of
escape what was happening in my daily
life my son and daughter both have
autism I didn’t realize when my son was
born what really was going on I knew
something was different I just couldn’t
put my finger on it really and he was
real little luckily when we were given a
diagnosis for him he couldn’t breastfeed
and he never really slept I knew he
wasn’t like other babies I knew but
there wasn’t anything that was a big
enough red flag for us to really be too
concerned but it was always in the back
of my mind but I didn’t know that he was
a wizard born to muggle parents I didn’t
get it I spent most of that time and for
a lot of years to come pushing my wizard
kids to be muggles like I said when my
son was about 18 months old we got a
referral from the pediatrician to go see
a speech therapist my son had a lot of
words to say but he put them together in
a little bit of a strange order I don’t
know how else to explain it I thought he
sounded super smart so we went and
within about five minutes of hanging out
in her office and
my son playing on the floor she said oh
yeah he definitely has autism so that’s
what it felt like it felt like crucio
the torture curse it was completely from
left-field I couldn’t I couldn’t breathe
I didn’t know what to say this was not
the reason why we were at this
appointment when all was said and done
we were very lucky to be able to catch
this at such an early age most kids are
but it did take me a lot of years to
realize that autism is not a curse even
though some days and some moments it
feels that way but most of my days now I
really look back on that and regret that
I had such a muggle mindset back then
nobody gave me a letter to Hogwarts
nobody gave me a ticket to platform 9
and 3/4 we were just kind of out there
we didn’t know anyone else in our lives
that had a family member or a child with
autism we didn’t know what to do we
didn’t know what was the right path and
we didn’t have anyone to get advice from
we were definitely muggles in a wizard
world we just didn’t know it so we tried
everything there was to try every
therapy every intervention we just threw
it all at the wall and tried to see what
would stick I didn’t want to waste one
single moment that I could be giving my
son and my daughter the ability to
become more like everyone else I wanted
them to become like me like all the
other little kids around them I wanted
them to become muggles
nobody said that to me when my son was
diagnosed at 18 months old Nolan said
you’re a wizard Harry they just said oh
he has autism nobody told me that
wizards are awesome nobody told me that
meeting my kids where they were not
where I wanted them to be would be a
life changing perspective for them and
for me nobody showed me all the positive
things about having someone in my life
that has autism fear of a name only
increases fear of the thing itself
that’s not Albus Dumbledore that’s
Hermione Granger when my son was younger
the differences were much more subtle
when he was in preschool first grade
second grade and I could sort of go
about pretending like he was getting all
of these therapies and interventions and
treatments and that eventually he would
catch up and be just like everybody else
nope
he has autism only when I was much more
comfortable with that word with that
concept when I embrace that about my
kids were they actually able to make
great leaps and bounds in their growth
back in those days 20 years ago there
was no Google I didn’t have spell books
to look in to find out what was the
right thing to do
to fix my kids but there are no magical
spells to make a disability disappear
what I didn’t know is that that’s not
the goal if you’re a wizard you should
be the best wizard you can be the goal
is not to be a wizard who’s mistaken for
a muggle here’s Albus Dumbledore it does
not do well to dwell on dreams and
forget to live remember that well I used
to have muggle dreams for sure I wanted
my son to play on the baseball team in
the town I wanted him to go to birthday
parties and go to college but muggle
dreams for wizards are irrelevant my
daughter is a witch and my son is a
wizard wizards go to Hogwarts not
Harvard and I realized that that’s how
it should be
we shouldn’t be forcing our kids or each
other to be something that we aren’t it
matters not what someone is born but
what they grow to be if you ask any
parent of a child of any age what they
want for their child in their future
they want them to be happy they want
them to be successful they want them to
live full lives but that’s not what I
was doing I was focusing on trying to
make my kids into muggles once I let go
of those expectations everything changed
it is our choices that show who we truly
are far more than our abilities when my
kids were little I would ask them about
their choices every day when they got
home from school did you make good
choices today honey what I was really
asking my son is if he did anything he
that was unusual that he shouldn’t have
been doing that would make him stick out
from the other kids but I wasn’t
thinking about my choices in those
instances what about my choices I chose
to hold my wizard kids to a muggle
standard but they’re not muggles they’re
autistic when I became comfortable with
that word with that fact they began to
blossom into the people that they are
differences of habit and language are
nothing at all
if our aims are identical and our hearts
are open I think that can be used in a
lot of different circumstances but in
relation to autism I want people to
embrace my kids not try to change them I
want every person to be honored for what
they have to offer as an individual
everyone has different strengths and
weaknesses some people are shy some
people are outgoing some people are
awkward some people are silly some
people communicate verbally other people
communicate using sign language or even
an iPad and all of those things are okay
none of those people have any more or
less to offer than the next person every
person deserves to belong if we embrace
the Wizards in our muggle world we’ll
all be better off for it happiness can
be found even in the darkest of times if
one only remembers to turn on the light
when you walk around in the dark
sometimes you trip over things a little
nervous maybe so turn on the light you
won’t need any Polyjuice potion to turn
you into someone else you won’t need any
Felix Felicis
to give you a little luck in your life
half-bloods purebloods neurotypical
‘he’s autistic people everybody has the
right to be included and valued in their
community and if we all do that our
glasses will not be half-full they will
overflow thank you [Applause]
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