[Applause]
you are a piece of meats in a world of
dogs when my mother told me this a
couple years ago I quickly dismissed her
comment although it sat with me everyday
I am now starting to understand that her
whole idea of femininity was
fundamentally ruled by fear fear of what
the world has already produced of what
others would say in names through my
reputation and the treatment of women
now and throughout history but I did see
which is the Muslim equivalent of a
Sunday school I was learning the
Equality of all people contrary to
popular belief Islam does not oppress me
but there are others who will use the
name of Islam to oppress people
especially women in fact Islam is one of
the reasons why I am as confident as I
am Islam provided a definition of
femininity that was rooted in education
and empowerment and in love its lom’s
ideals were in stark contrast so it’s
been given to me by both the media and
by people around me
although Islam’s ideals are wonderful
the pervasive rape culture and misogyny
that surrounds us erase whatever
security I had built my mother grew up
thinking that if a man or a woman is a
victim of sexual assault that it is
their shame to carry that it should be
something hidden not seen and not heard
so I can understand she did not know
what to do with me when I came to her
and confessed my own shame in the
beginning of sixth grade
I was raped and molested by a man who
was very close in my family he did it in
the comfort of knowing that he had
authority over me he told me my mother
wouldn’t believe me and that he would
hurt me or worse I he would hurt my
brother if I decided to tell anyone
and at eleven I believed him
after consistently taking advantage of
me I finally told a friend who then told
me to tell the guidance counselor and
eventually and went beyond the school I
remember my mother being completely
distraught she thought her children were
going to be taken away from her she knew
her community was not going to support
her and she knew people would see and
treat me differently and as a woman who
barely understood English and had no
trust in authorities whether it was
police or social workers I felt like my
own trauma could rate away and by the
end of eighth grade I understood one
thing that I did not matter this belief
was rooted in the negative portrayal of
black women it was rooted in how
femininity was defined by patriarchy and
racism and because the person who took
advantage of me was an older male even
though I couldn’t articulate the power
dynamic then it completely took my
ability to seek help and this power
dynamic exists because we do not take
women seriously it exists because we do
not educate and protect girls and women
it exists because we train young girls
to be caretakers instead of leaders and
this power dynamic we are merely just
I did not seek help because women were
seen as weak and because I was being
taught at different ways to avoid being
raped in her ass instead of teaching
boys not to rape and harass stigmas of
survivors are extremely prevalent
because those attitudes are applied in
schools and everyday conversations and
in the justice system where aggressors
are not held accountable and walk out
free and because of communities that
create an environment where survivors
shouldn’t be afraid to tell my story nor
should I have to adjust Who I am to save
a man’s masculinity rape culture and
misogyny in its most basic form is
thinking or believing that you are not a
part of the problem when in reality we
have all grown up in a society where
women are demeaned and Nesi and seen as
less and have acted on it which even I
myself am guilty of so even if you think
you aren’t actively contributing by
being complicit you are standing on the
side of oppression and the erasure of
humanity whether it is intentional or
unintentional you’re contributing to not
only my destruction
but our destruction as a whole Ubuntu I
am as we are we are all responsible for
one another which is why we all need a
communal understanding of accountability
and practice it so someone in this
nation is not being raped every 98
seconds we need a communal understanding
of bodily autonomy and respect this so
we all inherently know that my body is
mine and only mine and that consent can
what happened to me is a reflection of
our inability to protect humanity and
I’ve come to realize that since I can’t
expect any justice that I can at least
expect it for myself
because I’ve learned the best justice is
your own self care has become my
personal key to contentment and what
that means is not being in denial
self-care is understanding trauma it is
understanding oppression and knowing
that it exists and understanding that I
am never going to forget what it felt
like to feel completely powerless and
have a man shoves all of the bad of the
world into me it is redefining womanhood
for myself and I do not need your pity
I need your activism and activism looks
different on all of us because we all
have different amounts of power and
privilege but it all starts from within
yourself it starts with education it
starts with awareness
it starts with accountability for not
and I’ve come to realize that my own
most profound activism is self care it
is knowing and believing that my
existence is resistance and it is
believing and declaring I am proud I am
beautiful I will not be ignored I will
not be erased I am Here I am whole
and i mattr thank you
you [Applause]
you are a piece of meats in a world of
dogs when my mother told me this a
couple years ago I quickly dismissed her
comment although it sat with me everyday
I am now starting to understand that her
whole idea of femininity was
fundamentally ruled by fear fear of what
the world has already produced of what
others would say in names through my
reputation and the treatment of women
now and throughout history but I did see
which is the Muslim equivalent of a
Sunday school I was learning the
Equality of all people contrary to
popular belief Islam does not oppress me
but there are others who will use the
name of Islam to oppress people
especially women in fact Islam is one of
the reasons why I am as confident as I
am Islam provided a definition of
femininity that was rooted in education
and empowerment and in love its lom’s
ideals were in stark contrast so it’s
been given to me by both the media and
by people around me
although Islam’s ideals are wonderful
the pervasive rape culture and misogyny
that surrounds us erase whatever
security I had built my mother grew up
thinking that if a man or a woman is a
victim of sexual assault that it is
their shame to carry that it should be
something hidden not seen and not heard
so I can understand she did not know
what to do with me when I came to her
and confessed my own shame in the
beginning of sixth grade
I was raped and molested by a man who
was very close in my family he did it in
the comfort of knowing that he had
authority over me he told me my mother
wouldn’t believe me and that he would
hurt me or worse I he would hurt my
brother if I decided to tell anyone
and at eleven I believed him
after consistently taking advantage of
me I finally told a friend who then told
me to tell the guidance counselor and
eventually and went beyond the school I
remember my mother being completely
distraught she thought her children were
going to be taken away from her she knew
her community was not going to support
her and she knew people would see and
treat me differently and as a woman who
barely understood English and had no
trust in authorities whether it was
police or social workers I felt like my
own trauma could rate away and by the
end of eighth grade I understood one
thing that I did not matter this belief
was rooted in the negative portrayal of
black women it was rooted in how
femininity was defined by patriarchy and
racism and because the person who took
advantage of me was an older male even
though I couldn’t articulate the power
dynamic then it completely took my
ability to seek help and this power
dynamic exists because we do not take
women seriously it exists because we do
not educate and protect girls and women
it exists because we train young girls
to be caretakers instead of leaders and
this power dynamic we are merely just
I did not seek help because women were
seen as weak and because I was being
taught at different ways to avoid being
raped in her ass instead of teaching
boys not to rape and harass stigmas of
survivors are extremely prevalent
because those attitudes are applied in
schools and everyday conversations and
in the justice system where aggressors
are not held accountable and walk out
free and because of communities that
create an environment where survivors
shouldn’t be afraid to tell my story nor
should I have to adjust Who I am to save
a man’s masculinity rape culture and
misogyny in its most basic form is
thinking or believing that you are not a
part of the problem when in reality we
have all grown up in a society where
women are demeaned and Nesi and seen as
less and have acted on it which even I
myself am guilty of so even if you think
you aren’t actively contributing by
being complicit you are standing on the
side of oppression and the erasure of
humanity whether it is intentional or
unintentional you’re contributing to not
only my destruction
but our destruction as a whole Ubuntu I
am as we are we are all responsible for
one another which is why we all need a
communal understanding of accountability
and practice it so someone in this
nation is not being raped every 98
seconds we need a communal understanding
of bodily autonomy and respect this so
we all inherently know that my body is
mine and only mine and that consent can
what happened to me is a reflection of
our inability to protect humanity and
I’ve come to realize that since I can’t
expect any justice that I can at least
expect it for myself
because I’ve learned the best justice is
your own self care has become my
personal key to contentment and what
that means is not being in denial
self-care is understanding trauma it is
understanding oppression and knowing
that it exists and understanding that I
am never going to forget what it felt
like to feel completely powerless and
have a man shoves all of the bad of the
world into me it is redefining womanhood
for myself and I do not need your pity
I need your activism and activism looks
different on all of us because we all
have different amounts of power and
privilege but it all starts from within
yourself it starts with education it
starts with awareness
it starts with accountability for not
and I’ve come to realize that my own
most profound activism is self care it
is knowing and believing that my
existence is resistance and it is
believing and declaring I am proud I am
beautiful I will not be ignored I will
not be erased I am Here I am whole
and i mattr thank you
you [Applause]
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