hello good morning and today is buy it
for the next generation and when I first
sprang aside I panicked a little bit
because I am 22 years old and I’m a
four-month old gadget and I’m still
working out and I have definitely not
got it all figured out okay so you can
kind of imagine my panic and I went
round and round a bit what exactly to
talk about today my graduate life my
university experience feminism or a
mental health and I started writing all
of these talks because I wanted to see
something that was important
and that would resonate with anyone
anywhere that would hear it or a.cian
and I realized that the problem with
everything I started to write was that
I’d missed out whether the most obvious
parts about me and that is the color of
my skin my race and I realized that I
would be doing myself and you a
disservice if I took up this space and
did not talk about memories so today I’m
going to talk about going up black and
Scottish my parents came to Edinburgh
from Nigeria in 1984 my dad received a
scholarship to study his PhD in English
Literature at the University of
Edinburgh my mom came with it I was born
on the 3rd of May 1995 and my parents my
grandmother needs me here – Miwa Mara
day off in your day a penny
Angela other one started bothering so I
my mom that sees that she thinks that I
always knew I was different to everyone
around me I was reading my nurse reports
and they said to me what it’s very quiet
she tends to stay back and not really
interact with other children and I think
that just far as I can remember I like
to make
teenage years and I knew this was true I
was never comfortable and confident
enough to take up as much space as my
peers and I didn’t make as much noise
and they tended to stay back and I don’t
know if this is because I knew I was
different and I didn’t want to attract
any attention to being their
flash-forwards to being about sixteen
years old and probably in some attempt
to forget but my race and my blackness I
proclaimed to my mother that I’m
colorblind and I did series and I can’t
really remember what she said that I
know she would have looked at me and
told me I was being ridiculous and then
provides a very strong intelligent and
coherent argument asked what but as you
must have seen yourself and I would have
cross my arms with my eyes and stared at
the window and not Leslie and then
flash-forward to be in eighteen years
old and navigating what can really only
be described as the murky waters of
dating and sex and boys and I realized
that even last I met Bob for someone
based on their personality people would
fall for or fbp off me based on the
color of my skin I thought but black
girls are always up for it but this
isn’t just my dating story that’s kind
of my life I went to start to university
for useful and as a pressure you’re
meeting new people you’re asking those
questions and obviously when the top
three questions will always be where you
from so people would ask me where you
from
and I’d say I’ve met her because I am I
was born there
I need to know but really where you from
I like to go I’ve met enough because I’m
stubborn and it’s the trick but it
started to dawn on me that people
weren’t asking where I was from
they were asking why are you black with
the stuff
and then the other thing is that I you
meet other Nigerians for the first time
being affect other Nigerians who are my
peers in my same age and I thought I
shared something with them because our
families are from the same place but
they’d asked me the same question and
the big look at me funny because even
though our families were from similar
areas I am saying like them I didn’t
speak languages I was born in Nigeria
and I didn’t grow up there I may have
shared a similar heritage and culture
with them but that doesn’t mean you’ll
be received with open arms and so there
I was 18 years old and kind of feeling
like I didn’t really belong and the the
place I’d always called home they didn’t
really feel like metal and I had also
start into University and I all of a
sudden find myself in these seminars and
tutorials where you were forced to speak
and step out and take up space and I
would sit there and see nothing apart
from any and every started to shake and
I would feel hot and sweaty and the only
way I can describe it is that I was
feeling here and I wouldn’t be able to
breathe and it was horrible but I didn’t
see anything and it got worse and worse
and worse as I went through uni and
eventually about a year ago now so
halfway through my first year I decided
I wanted to do something better so I
went to see a counselor and we spoke
about a lot of things and she told me
that the feelings I’ve been having the
nausea the hot flashes the she thing
they were probably my body physically
responding to exactly so whilst for a
lot some people anxiety could be your
thoughts for me my body reacted
specifically but for me I wanted to know
the why I wanted to know why I was
feeling this
we in these situations because of only
wives and I can fix it and so we chatted
but lots of things we went back through
my family history but one thing we spoke
about was that feeling of not belonging
and feeling at pleased and not feeling
able to take up space and so I realized
that sitting in the sixties and an elite
University surrounded by my white middle
class peers I felt left out I felt alone
I felt like I didn’t belong because I
didn’t look like anyone else and that
was a really really horrible feeling and
it silenced me it meant that print the
last year and for all my university
career I stayed quiet when I shouldn’t
have and I think part of me is really
angry at myself because I let that
happen
so when I graduated four months ago I
made a promise to myself to not let it
happen again and to make sure that I
always take up the space like I’m doing
today and I think what I’ve learned what
I could say what my message would be to
the next generation if the safe spaces
are really important
they are likely to be yourself and
legitimize yourself and your actions and
your feelings I’d say that your voice
matters and the change welcome but I
understand very difficult is when you do
not see yourself represented anywhere I
don’t think what I really want to say is
that you belong here
your voice matters and that you should
always always take up space being
unapologetically yourself [Applause]
for the next generation and when I first
sprang aside I panicked a little bit
because I am 22 years old and I’m a
four-month old gadget and I’m still
working out and I have definitely not
got it all figured out okay so you can
kind of imagine my panic and I went
round and round a bit what exactly to
talk about today my graduate life my
university experience feminism or a
mental health and I started writing all
of these talks because I wanted to see
something that was important
and that would resonate with anyone
anywhere that would hear it or a.cian
and I realized that the problem with
everything I started to write was that
I’d missed out whether the most obvious
parts about me and that is the color of
my skin my race and I realized that I
would be doing myself and you a
disservice if I took up this space and
did not talk about memories so today I’m
going to talk about going up black and
Scottish my parents came to Edinburgh
from Nigeria in 1984 my dad received a
scholarship to study his PhD in English
Literature at the University of
Edinburgh my mom came with it I was born
on the 3rd of May 1995 and my parents my
grandmother needs me here – Miwa Mara
day off in your day a penny
Angela other one started bothering so I
my mom that sees that she thinks that I
always knew I was different to everyone
around me I was reading my nurse reports
and they said to me what it’s very quiet
she tends to stay back and not really
interact with other children and I think
that just far as I can remember I like
to make
teenage years and I knew this was true I
was never comfortable and confident
enough to take up as much space as my
peers and I didn’t make as much noise
and they tended to stay back and I don’t
know if this is because I knew I was
different and I didn’t want to attract
any attention to being their
flash-forwards to being about sixteen
years old and probably in some attempt
to forget but my race and my blackness I
proclaimed to my mother that I’m
colorblind and I did series and I can’t
really remember what she said that I
know she would have looked at me and
told me I was being ridiculous and then
provides a very strong intelligent and
coherent argument asked what but as you
must have seen yourself and I would have
cross my arms with my eyes and stared at
the window and not Leslie and then
flash-forward to be in eighteen years
old and navigating what can really only
be described as the murky waters of
dating and sex and boys and I realized
that even last I met Bob for someone
based on their personality people would
fall for or fbp off me based on the
color of my skin I thought but black
girls are always up for it but this
isn’t just my dating story that’s kind
of my life I went to start to university
for useful and as a pressure you’re
meeting new people you’re asking those
questions and obviously when the top
three questions will always be where you
from so people would ask me where you
from
and I’d say I’ve met her because I am I
was born there
I need to know but really where you from
I like to go I’ve met enough because I’m
stubborn and it’s the trick but it
started to dawn on me that people
weren’t asking where I was from
they were asking why are you black with
the stuff
and then the other thing is that I you
meet other Nigerians for the first time
being affect other Nigerians who are my
peers in my same age and I thought I
shared something with them because our
families are from the same place but
they’d asked me the same question and
the big look at me funny because even
though our families were from similar
areas I am saying like them I didn’t
speak languages I was born in Nigeria
and I didn’t grow up there I may have
shared a similar heritage and culture
with them but that doesn’t mean you’ll
be received with open arms and so there
I was 18 years old and kind of feeling
like I didn’t really belong and the the
place I’d always called home they didn’t
really feel like metal and I had also
start into University and I all of a
sudden find myself in these seminars and
tutorials where you were forced to speak
and step out and take up space and I
would sit there and see nothing apart
from any and every started to shake and
I would feel hot and sweaty and the only
way I can describe it is that I was
feeling here and I wouldn’t be able to
breathe and it was horrible but I didn’t
see anything and it got worse and worse
and worse as I went through uni and
eventually about a year ago now so
halfway through my first year I decided
I wanted to do something better so I
went to see a counselor and we spoke
about a lot of things and she told me
that the feelings I’ve been having the
nausea the hot flashes the she thing
they were probably my body physically
responding to exactly so whilst for a
lot some people anxiety could be your
thoughts for me my body reacted
specifically but for me I wanted to know
the why I wanted to know why I was
feeling this
we in these situations because of only
wives and I can fix it and so we chatted
but lots of things we went back through
my family history but one thing we spoke
about was that feeling of not belonging
and feeling at pleased and not feeling
able to take up space and so I realized
that sitting in the sixties and an elite
University surrounded by my white middle
class peers I felt left out I felt alone
I felt like I didn’t belong because I
didn’t look like anyone else and that
was a really really horrible feeling and
it silenced me it meant that print the
last year and for all my university
career I stayed quiet when I shouldn’t
have and I think part of me is really
angry at myself because I let that
happen
so when I graduated four months ago I
made a promise to myself to not let it
happen again and to make sure that I
always take up the space like I’m doing
today and I think what I’ve learned what
I could say what my message would be to
the next generation if the safe spaces
are really important
they are likely to be yourself and
legitimize yourself and your actions and
your feelings I’d say that your voice
matters and the change welcome but I
understand very difficult is when you do
not see yourself represented anywhere I
don’t think what I really want to say is
that you belong here
your voice matters and that you should
always always take up space being
unapologetically yourself [Applause]
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