actually an expert at something I know
you were all hesitating I wanted to come
here and speak about it but I couldn’t
get the visual aid in here I am an
expert at parallel parking like really
good and people do not believe me but we
couldn’t get the vehicle in and the you
gotta have a lot of traffic and stuff so
you really see I’m like a one-shot so I
couldn’t speak on that so I had to
settle on Plan B which is just as
awesome I’m going to talk today about
starting things I start things I have
known that I’ve started things since I
was a young kid actually I’m going to
start at about nine years old today and
we’re gonna do my whole life story I
knew I was good at starting things
because I would hear these compliments
all the time like Tina did you know you
have commitment issues or my mom’s
favorite is jack of all trades master of
none because I could start lots of
things didn’t quite finish all of them I
passed them on to the next people
quickly so anyhow my favorite compliment
though and all that time came from a 19
year old girl I was volunteering with in
Uganda and she said to me you know
thanks a lot for wrecking my life that
is my greatest compliment today and
that’s what I’m going to talk about
today how to wreck your life and just
seven easy steps now about six years ago
I was touring a documentary I made and I
did the film festival circuit and then I
went to speak on college campuses high
school campuses and the students would
line up afterwards it’s such a huge
honor when you know they have better
things to do they would line up and tell
me their entire life story and
everything that they wanted to do that
was just like my story that they had
seen on the screen and and I really took
that to heart and at the end of every
single one of those conversations of
them telling me what they wanted to do
with their life they would end with but
I just don’t know how to get started so
that’s we’re going to talk about all
right we’re going to start with three
very simple light truths one when you
want to start something there
no money especially when you’re young
there’s no funding and that is the best
place to be do not wait for your
Kickstarter to kick in it doesn’t matter
you when you have no funding you’re in
the best spot because everyone will
believe in you especially when you have
to work two and three jobs to do it or
you have to sell everything you own in
the bank and then the bank parking lot
I’ve done that before so when you have
no funding people all of a sudden see
your passion when you have funding it’s
a job so if you have no money to start
your thing great that you’re in the
perfect spot – there are naysayers I
don’t know if you know this when you
want to start something new people don’t
believe in your thing
it’s your Majin no wonder right now they
say they support you they’ll say oh I
support you but the truth is they don’t
want to feel the pain with you you know
when you have to like wreck everything
you know to do it they don’t want to
feel the pain especially the people
closest to you they just want your life
to be nice and easy so they’re not
totally behind you and the third thing
is I wanted to start something so bad I
wanted to move to Hollywood at one point
and I had this great life being a
teacher in my home town why would you
move to LA there’s like crazy people
there you know they liked to all
following their dreams nothing ever
works out sometime so anyhow I ran into
this woman and she changed my life
really I don’t even know who she was she
said you know if you’re gonna start
something or follow a dream there’s only
two outcomes and I said really she goes
yeah there’s only two and I go well what
are they
she says well one you throw your life
and the turmoil you start you know you
get quit your job you pick up you go and
start your new thing on no money and no
friends obviously and you know what it
worked out everything’s awesome it
totally works for you and you can’t
remember your life’s both before you
started it and she said or you turn your
life upside down you sell everything you
own you’d go out to start the thing and
it fails it’s totally bombed like you
got to go home with your tail between
your legs it was terrible it was no
stupid
yeah and keep that but you know what
either way you don’t spend the rest of
your life wondering what if so that was
it I packed up move to LA everything
worked out
so I’m just gonna talk I’m gonna give
you seven just real simple steps of
things that you have to have and you
learned them when you were a kid that’s
me my little sister Mary’s fourth grade
I am in fourth grade my teachers say
okay we’re gonna spend a whole week
we’re gonna start something called mini
society you’ve got a start a business
here’s your budget which was fake money
by the way here’s your monopoly money
and now go find your business now John
Pappagallo
I remember he brought in his Atari set
and the boys would just play video game
you know
Space Invader pong relay all a whole
week for a quarters that’s how much you
could spend a quarter play the game and
my friend Melinda she was doing tooth
picks that should be soaked in cinnamon
oil and they were just like two cents
each and I thought I don’t think they’re
making enough I want to like win and I
like to win things I want to be the best
I want to make the most money so my dad
he was a fireman and he would he worked
for 24 hours off 48 hours and on his
time off he was a stained glass artist
just beautiful stained glass and he had
a shop locked the glass in it so I said
okay dad this is what I need on your
days off I need you to cut me all here
he’s extra glass in the little squares
so that’s that’s what I made my business
into I would cover it with a little
copper tape and I had these paint pen so
if you came to me and said my mom likes
pink and she likes tulips I’d rent your
mom’s name make some pink tulips it was
all custom ordered right with your name
on it people love that stuff well I made
$2,400 in one week fake money and at the
end of the week we had a chapel ceremony
and I won Young Entrepreneur of the Year
so you know I in the 80s you could buy a
car for that that was a lot of money
cleaning out I that cuz I really knew I
knew like a set a goal and I could
accomplish the goal that was fourth
grade all of you guys have some story
like that but the most important thing
the next step is I looked around my
world to see how I felt that resourceful
when you learn to be resourceful
basically I have looked around and I had
someone that could work for me I could
convince to do it
and I have some supplies and those
things carried me a long way they care
those are just the starting points to
learning how to start something okay so
from there you know I started my first
business I showed horses horses were my
big thing and I had to feed the horses
and there was a lot of expenses involved
so I started feeding the neighbor’s
horses and then the chickens and then
mucking stalls and who would knows what
other thing I did but I eventually
started catering their parties and from
the time I was ten until I was eighteen
I made myself invaluable quite frankly
the entire community needed me every
time they went out of town does anybody
had animals needed an expert or someone
who knew how to handle animals to deal
with it and so that’s what I did I hit
18 oh and you know your parents I don’t
know they’re kind of crazy they’re like
you have to go to college when college I
had this great life I didn’t want to go
and quite frankly I was the the first in
my family you know the first generation
to go to university so and I’m the
oldest child so they’re shipping me off
I didn’t know why and you know the most
painful thing is really just severing
all ties to that community those people
I I’ve made myself invaluable to and it
ended up being the greatest thing you
get shoved out of the nest you have to
start over don’t you those are the
greatest moments in your life actually
when I look back though they shipped me
off to Texas I went to college and you
know starting over I had to come up with
some stuff to do and how to make friends
and so I became an RA and I started
selling uh ramen noodles and blow pops
out from underneath my bunk bed at night
when
people were hungry and then that
developed into youth books do you know
how lazy college kids are they don’t
even return their books at the end of
the semester so I’ve been lugging them
into the bookstore every week making my
money and and that grew into you know in
the sorority houses they leave behind
all the refrigerators and the TVs ha
best job ever some people call it
looting but I I just started get into a
really sweet gig called my dad’s so
anyhow from there you could graduate
college you know what you have to do
start over and if you didn’t learn that
life skill before you got there it’s
really hard after college so I you know
I had a lot of things to do I had to I
had to start a lot of businesses and
organizations and I just made all of my
20s I don’t even remember him there were
so many weird things I did in the middle
but the one thing I knew I wanted to do
for sure was to tell my own story that
was a good storyteller and I wanted to I
started making movies I had moved to LA
and brought my screenplays there and
acted a little bit start producing
started production company and through
that made my first documentary about a
rock band some friends of mine who put
on the largest independent rock concert
in history and I thought okay if I can
do that
I think I can make my own so that took
me to Africa in 2005 there were no
stories coming out of Africa I had only
seen a movie called The Constant
Gardener won the Oscar that year and I
thought okay that’s it I’m going so took
me to Africa I’m filming my documentary
and I meet a group of 65 Street kids I’m
in a house there I go to their house
they’re all crammed in there they’re
malnourished they ain’t have a fever
they’re hungry and I’m starting to think
what the heck what am i doing so the
phone rings and it’s my friend Pastor
Bob now he’s a pastor down in San Diego
California and he’s he calls on the old
Nokia you know and I can barely hear him
it’s broken and I started to tell him
what I’m seeing I said okay I’m filming
documentary he helped me fund it he
bought the camera I tell him the whole
thing and he says or no I’m saying I
don’t know what to do like should I keep
filming the documentary or should I like
help these people like I don’t know
which I don’t know I’m trying to decide
and he said well do you know James 1:27
sounds like what that is it like a Bible
verse anything yeah do you know it no I
don’t you say it to me that’s your job
so he says well it says that the
religion that God says is pure andhrite
is to look after the orphans and widows
in their distress and I was like at
first I thought don’t tell me that right
now and then I started thinking wow
that’s a pretty good religion I need to
focus I mean if that’s what’s pure
andhrite I here although I yeah I got a
lot of work to do and then I started I
mean it’s a pivotal moment for me I
started to think maybe I wasn’t good at
starting things just for me and my
friends but there was something bigger
out there maybe I was supposed to be
here for something other than just my
winning Sundance was my documentary and
that’s importance of mentors quite
frankly that’s Pastor Bob there on the
right he exits the premiere of that
documentary when I finally finished it
you know having someone in your life the
challenges you to the next level or
remind you why you’re doing the thing
you’re doing is imperative I have a lot
of mentors in my life so get yourself a
mentor that’s on the list so let’s see
where we at we’ve set a goal we have
been resourceful we’ve made ourselves
invaluable to a community we’ve learned
to be resilient we started over again
college new jobs whatever the next thing
is and get yourself a mentor to keep you
on track alright so from there I just
stayed that was it I gave my production
company away for a dollar to my friend
and I stayed for seven years but the
first thing I did was I called home and
I told my friend Laurie we were teachers
together a long time and I said Laurie I
have no money like no funding I know
this is
I always say I can do but I can’t do it
you need to send me anything you have
and she collected ten dollars from each
of our friends and sent me one hundred
and forty dollars and that’s what
happened I stayed for seven years I
started with a hundred and forty dollars
and really this was the next lesson that
I learned in my life is I stayed and I
started an organization called come
let’s dance it’s what the kids used to
say to me jeong-do to be a in their
language come let’s dance
cuz when we didn’t have food what else
is there come on he’s not gonna waste
the day I mean I learned a lot they
personally invited me is the whole
entire new life I didn’t even know was
an option and then I personally invited
my friend Laurie and literally every
other person I had ever met be careful
because we’re having this coffee spoon
and I’ll corner you to every person I
ever met to sponsor a kid and help me do
this and so that’s my next lesson is
that personal invite I call it the
Starbucks strategy you know you walk
into Starbucks and you’re like oh
they’re gonna write my name on the cup
and know exactly what I want and they
personally invite you to come back again
tonight suck it in so that personal
invite is what built my organization I
love that so from there oh my goodness
we were I was learning everything how to
build a sustainable development
compelling sustainable community that’s
not easy we would start a business for
every project we had so if I had to
peated crew of kids at this house we had
to start we ought to buy a taxicab to
fund not to fund that house and I just
started learning all about corruption
all about how Africa works and really
how to do stuff without for need can i
one day walk away can I build something
that will sustain itself and that became
my goal but let me tell you the final
final step before we go is you have to
know how to fail I had a horse trainer
once telling me you have to fall off 100
times and get back up on the horse again
before you’re moving to the next level
for the what that’s like insanity it’s
totally true I had to learn how to fail
a lot in my new my life motto since then
every failures of success it you learn
from it so let me quick tell you I’m in
a new my new gig right now is vanilla I
started an international export company
I have about 20 people who work for me
but the truth is I’m looking for
hundreds I want to employ a lot of moms
they can put their own kids through
schools to stay in their own lives well
recently someone I poured ten years of
my life into destroyed it stole
everything from me my whole life savings
even and I just wanted to quit and
that’s the big left in there people will
hurt you I’m not here to lie to you
things will go wrong humans are human
but the truth is I had all those I knew
all their blessings from when I was
young I just started over and in less
than about six months everything was
back again but I really took some
soul-searching so fail and fail a lot
and invite it and when you do say all
right what did I just learn from that
because I got to keep going
now I’m gonna end with this why would
you go and help other people or start
things that are gonna wreck your life
it’s gonna wreck your comfort why would
you do that one you have critical
thinking skills and problem-solving
skills and that it seems most invaluable
commodity to the world do not let that
go you’re wasting it too you have
integrity I hope and if you don’t go
find some but be willing to say no to
profit for your integrity because the
rest world doesn’t have any did you know
business ethics is the greatest oxymoron
and all in government one bit of advice
when you build something don’t hold on
to it too tightly it might not be her
you and the coolest ROI is when you just
let it fly because it was for someone
else that is to my greatest joy so I end
with this go wreck down the wall to
comfort follow your heart whatever it is
in there because it might be helping a
lot of people all right and live in an
extraordinary life thank you [Applause]