[Music]
so I always say I want to feel life when
I’m in the middle of it but at this very
moment I only can ask myself why it must
have been this year of the primary
school it’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon
and my teacher says it’s time to go home
this is my daily moment of truth
I feel the panic and my body my heart
rate accelerates my head drives over
time will they come after me
which route shall I take will I be fast
enough and if not will they help me
will they hurt me I’m 10 years old and
this is my everyday story 22 children of
my class are chasing me on my way home
day after day after day resisting the
physical attacks and nasty words is out
of my league
I’m not capable of protecting myself
against this group pressure my
nightmares are telling my story over and
over again I grew up in a time the
children were not supposed to talk about
their hurt feelings their fears and
failures being smart and strong was very
important no-fuss willpower was
something to be proud of being a good
girl is very important sensitive as I
was I felt exactly
what was expected of me I didn’t say a
word our school system rewards good
grades and behavior back then but this
is still going on our cognitive were at
the front forefront
I didn’t felt any incentive to get to
know myself or my qualities my intrinsic
motivation ran on a dead track my fire
and openness left me emotionally I felt
alone I didn’t know who I was anymore
I had no inner peace couldn’t feel my
life rifle those days I started making a
picture of myself the way I thought
others would like seeing me I was
scared not being enough not
being enough interesting and loved as a
human being
so I shouted myself because I decided
nobody else would ever hurt me again
with death consequence I didn’t know
myself anymore
although it made me a survivor the other
side of the metal was my loneliness when
I was 17 years old I left the fil it’s
where I grew up I replaced it for the
city during my study I enjoy it I refuse
especially my foreign internship
although I also felt a bit displaced I
lived in a bubble everything was a
little blurred then I got myself a job
and another job and another I compared
myself to others made to-do list
tick them off made even longer list it
was a major search for recognition I
didn’t use my potential at all I didn’t
even have a clue something like this was
inside of me and most important I forgot
to look around and marvel at all the
little precious moments I didn’t use my
senses I lived inside the barriers of my
head we live in a wealthy society where
it is showed on the outside that we are
doing great our car must be as big as
the home we live in and even more luxury
everybody is about everybody we all need
to perform everything is about to
perform we need to look for a new
balance between together and alone
in my relationships I struggled with
being connected I see people around me
struggling the same issue fortunately I
learned on my way and I’m very happy to
be here with the man I love so much
thanks love for being in my life
together we were given a wonderful son
he’s now 11 years old and I love the
life where the three of us very much
five years ago I was pregnant of our
daughter Julia sadly enough we don’t
have her here with us halfway through
pregnancy she died in my stomach yet she
couldn’t afford anything better than
this because of the deep grief I went
through I started feeling again I became
more vulnerable I started living my own
truth step by step and after a while I
felt I had to make a shift my work as a
project manager in exercising whirls
didn’t fill me up I decided to get
myself retrained
as AB psychodynamic therapist and for
four years I went to school and I
learned about myself and I went through
my issues and I loved every single part
of this study so I graduated and
nowadays I have my own coach practice
and I love helping others on their way
of growth
what I would like our children to learn
at school is that we are all unique
human beings and that we are all worth
the same and that they can experience
that being different is a quality
instead of focusing on our cognitions
the point is we cannot selectively
control our emotions when we do not
allow our pain we also soften our joy
and besides our children need parents
who are emotionally available and for
that we need to show courage courage to
tackle our own pain because children
mirror our pain and if we don’t tackle
ours we can’t help them on their way
through so
I recovered myself to a meaningful life
by doing four things first I started
being quiet literally everyday moments
without distraction like facebook emails
whatsoever I’m a very sensitive person
and I have great need for me time being
aware of what is going down inside like
meditation second points
I shared my personal stories with my
friends and not only the gracious once
no I started sharing my delicate
thoughts which made me feel small third
thing I did I went running in nature and
I’m marveled at all the beautiful things
like it smells and the colors I used my
senses again and fourth I learned about
myself by going back to school I got
myself in therapy and I learned to race
my blind spots so when you experienced
lack of energy or your striving for
something that isn’t you pay attention
and instead of working a little bit
harder slow down slow down your way of
living be aware and it can feel a little
uncomfortable and not being busy or
maybe a lot and we don’t like being
uncomfortable do you
I always had tight shoulders and
headaches
I felt unhappy and unfree but I never
asked myself why what is the reason that
my life isn’t meaningful until I had to
let go of the most dearest only then I
started paying it attention on my needs
only then I started feeling my strength
dear Julia however I’d like a sister for
your big brother however I miss you
every single day thank you for this huge
gift thank you
[Applause]
you
so I always say I want to feel life when
I’m in the middle of it but at this very
moment I only can ask myself why it must
have been this year of the primary
school it’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon
and my teacher says it’s time to go home
this is my daily moment of truth
I feel the panic and my body my heart
rate accelerates my head drives over
time will they come after me
which route shall I take will I be fast
enough and if not will they help me
will they hurt me I’m 10 years old and
this is my everyday story 22 children of
my class are chasing me on my way home
day after day after day resisting the
physical attacks and nasty words is out
of my league
I’m not capable of protecting myself
against this group pressure my
nightmares are telling my story over and
over again I grew up in a time the
children were not supposed to talk about
their hurt feelings their fears and
failures being smart and strong was very
important no-fuss willpower was
something to be proud of being a good
girl is very important sensitive as I
was I felt exactly
what was expected of me I didn’t say a
word our school system rewards good
grades and behavior back then but this
is still going on our cognitive were at
the front forefront
I didn’t felt any incentive to get to
know myself or my qualities my intrinsic
motivation ran on a dead track my fire
and openness left me emotionally I felt
alone I didn’t know who I was anymore
I had no inner peace couldn’t feel my
life rifle those days I started making a
picture of myself the way I thought
others would like seeing me I was
scared not being enough not
being enough interesting and loved as a
human being
so I shouted myself because I decided
nobody else would ever hurt me again
with death consequence I didn’t know
myself anymore
although it made me a survivor the other
side of the metal was my loneliness when
I was 17 years old I left the fil it’s
where I grew up I replaced it for the
city during my study I enjoy it I refuse
especially my foreign internship
although I also felt a bit displaced I
lived in a bubble everything was a
little blurred then I got myself a job
and another job and another I compared
myself to others made to-do list
tick them off made even longer list it
was a major search for recognition I
didn’t use my potential at all I didn’t
even have a clue something like this was
inside of me and most important I forgot
to look around and marvel at all the
little precious moments I didn’t use my
senses I lived inside the barriers of my
head we live in a wealthy society where
it is showed on the outside that we are
doing great our car must be as big as
the home we live in and even more luxury
everybody is about everybody we all need
to perform everything is about to
perform we need to look for a new
balance between together and alone
in my relationships I struggled with
being connected I see people around me
struggling the same issue fortunately I
learned on my way and I’m very happy to
be here with the man I love so much
thanks love for being in my life
together we were given a wonderful son
he’s now 11 years old and I love the
life where the three of us very much
five years ago I was pregnant of our
daughter Julia sadly enough we don’t
have her here with us halfway through
pregnancy she died in my stomach yet she
couldn’t afford anything better than
this because of the deep grief I went
through I started feeling again I became
more vulnerable I started living my own
truth step by step and after a while I
felt I had to make a shift my work as a
project manager in exercising whirls
didn’t fill me up I decided to get
myself retrained
as AB psychodynamic therapist and for
four years I went to school and I
learned about myself and I went through
my issues and I loved every single part
of this study so I graduated and
nowadays I have my own coach practice
and I love helping others on their way
of growth
what I would like our children to learn
at school is that we are all unique
human beings and that we are all worth
the same and that they can experience
that being different is a quality
instead of focusing on our cognitions
the point is we cannot selectively
control our emotions when we do not
allow our pain we also soften our joy
and besides our children need parents
who are emotionally available and for
that we need to show courage courage to
tackle our own pain because children
mirror our pain and if we don’t tackle
ours we can’t help them on their way
through so
I recovered myself to a meaningful life
by doing four things first I started
being quiet literally everyday moments
without distraction like facebook emails
whatsoever I’m a very sensitive person
and I have great need for me time being
aware of what is going down inside like
meditation second points
I shared my personal stories with my
friends and not only the gracious once
no I started sharing my delicate
thoughts which made me feel small third
thing I did I went running in nature and
I’m marveled at all the beautiful things
like it smells and the colors I used my
senses again and fourth I learned about
myself by going back to school I got
myself in therapy and I learned to race
my blind spots so when you experienced
lack of energy or your striving for
something that isn’t you pay attention
and instead of working a little bit
harder slow down slow down your way of
living be aware and it can feel a little
uncomfortable and not being busy or
maybe a lot and we don’t like being
uncomfortable do you
I always had tight shoulders and
headaches
I felt unhappy and unfree but I never
asked myself why what is the reason that
my life isn’t meaningful until I had to
let go of the most dearest only then I
started paying it attention on my needs
only then I started feeling my strength
dear Julia however I’d like a sister for
your big brother however I miss you
every single day thank you for this huge
gift thank you
[Applause]
you
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