[Music]
this is my daughter
Charleston Jane she’s three years old
when it comes to clothing
she’s completely and totally free she
loves leopard print she loves pink
anything pink and she loves her yellow
rain jacket and not because some
magazine tells her that that’s what’s a
mean that’s what she’s supposed to wear
right she loves it because she just
loves it it’s what she likes she her
clothes are actually a complete
translation of who she is and what she
enjoys I’m telling you about this
because that’s actually where all of us
start when it comes to clothing for each
of us we all started in a spot where
clothes were just simply a visual
representation of who we are right our
preferences and our desires but if her
story is like most people’s story this
is about to change in a big way pretty
soon pretty soon she’s going to actually
experience something that I call the lie
did he come through magazines you come
through brands then come from some idiot
kid on the playground realistically and
the lie that she’s going to hear is this
you are not okay you need to buy things
in order to be made whole you see as she
starts to hear this lie mmm it really is
it’s kind of underpinning a lot of what
the modern fashion industry really
communicates the most women which is
based on kind of the Greek system of
forms right there’s like a perfect
version of woman over here or man over
here and then there’s the rest of us
over here and essentially what modern
fashion does is we need to mute and
change those things that are unique
about ourselves by our shape our
dimensions those are coloring to try to
get a little bit closer to this ideal
over here so if you’re curvy you need to
wear all one color right or you need buy
something with vertical stripes if
you’re tall you need to buy flats right
and it creates this endless cycle of
consumption or we’re buying things in
order to be made more close to what we
consider perfect right and the cycle
results in us buying a lot of clothing
and that results in clutter in our
closets in our hearts and in our minds
clothes that aren’t really us because
that was kind of the point right
it was actually to make it less of
and as Charleston’s father I’m gonna try
to communicate no you’re okay right I
love you and you don’t need to buy
anything to be made more whole but the
truth is that my voice is pretty small
compared to an industry that’s multi
billions of dollars right in fact that
industry is gonna make over one hundred
and twenty thousand dollars off of my
daughter’s and security throughout her
lifetime and the rate of consumption is
actually increasing what we found is
that uh in 1930 the average woman had
thirty five items of clothing in her
closet today it’s over one hundred and
twenty clothes that we don’t even like
right how’s that how’s this lie so good
at selling stuff here’s how it works
picture yourself in the mall right you
go into the mall and we see this massive
glossy photo right and it’s people just
in total bliss wearing denim jackets and
that says you know if you buy this denim
jacket you’ll be happy like us and us
wanting to be part of this you know
included in this club we say okay I’ll
buy it so you kind of go over there and
not feel okay all right great then the
same models like two weeks later three
weeks later they’re all wearing leather
jackets and say buy leather jackets so
you can be cool just like us so we go
over there and say okay great and so
then we buy that and then we’re okay and
then a week later it’s bomber jackets
and the cycle continues and continues
it’s an it’s where it’s really exclusion
so that we can get this perpetual buying
cycle and it never runs out right and
that’s actually where I come into this
story because I mmm Blake Smith and the
CEO of a fashion company in fact I spent
the past five years of my life in an
industry whose fundamental driver of
growth is the exploitation of my
daughters and during that time I’ve kind
of learned two major things about the
lie number one the lie works it’s
incredibly effective at selling stuff
it’s a great tool to get somebody to buy
things for the rest of their lives but I
also learned something else but to the
lie can be reversed it can be beat you
do not have to keep feeling the way that
you feel and I’ve been dedicating my
life and dedicated my company it’s
actually fighting that lie in the
marketplace and as we’ve served tens of
thousands of women in the process of
doing that I’ve learned that there are
two major
tools I want to leave with you today two
tools that you can use to combat the lie
in your own life – number one I know who
I am right so the lie is you are not
okay that’s where it starts right you
are not okay
so we need to actually we need to
confront that lie front and center and
say no I Know Who I am and I am okay
right so how do we get there for some of
us we can maybe literally right now you
can take out a sheet of paper and you
could write down these are the things
that I know that are true about myself
things that have nothing to do with my
physical appearance but just are true
valuable things if you get stuck I
personally I got stuck and so I felt
like I needed some help go to a friend
or a family member someone that loves
you and knows you really well and ask
them how am I good for other people
maybe they tell you something like your
sense of humor is really helpful in
tense situations it disarms people write
that down that is you that’s who you are
has nothing to do with your physical
appearance and own that thing so that
when you see that big glossy poster in
the mall and say wait a second no I’m
okay I Know Who I am and now I can
interpret what is this thing actually
communicating to me so I Know Who I am
number two I know what I like right so
the second part of the lie the first
part is you’re not okay the second part
is now by this we need to be able to say
wait a second what is this is this a
thing that I actually like personally
right and that’s the way of filtering
the lie so how do we get there how do we
how do we really figure out what it is
that we like when it comes to clothing
especially when we’re submerged right
we’re completely wrapped up and all
these messages about what you should
like or what you should buy I found an
exercise that’s really helpful in this
in fact you may have already heard about
it our companies promoted it a lot it’s
this idea of go to your closet and hang
up all of your clothes with the hangers
facing toward you right so the hooks are
facing toward you and over the course of
the next month what I want you to do is
each time you wear an item and you go to
hang it back up I want you to turn the
hanger around it’s almost like a log of
what you’ve worn for an entire month so
at the end of the month you’re going to
have hook spacing this way of clothes
that you never wore and hooks facing
this way clothes that you did wear and
you’re gonna see two major
when you do that first you realize that
you only wear about 20% of the clothes
that are in your closet the rest of us
just clutter and we could totally get
rid of it and then second you’re gonna
see there’s a theme throughout the
clothes that are actually that you
actually wore their colors cuts fabrics
this is kind of the core of what you
like
notice that I’ve write that down and say
okay this is what I really enjoy this is
kind of a step of unlocking your inner
three-year-old right like my daughter
Charleston what is it that you like just
because you like it what’s your favorite
color
why don’t we ever talk about favorite
color have you noticed that we never
talk about what your favorite color is
anymore as adults
it seems childlike but you should know
what your favorite color is and you
should wear that color because you feel
good in it
right I know who I am I know what I like
if we can really practice this as a
discipline over months and years we can
actually beat and combat and actually
get past the lie but the truth is is
that we’re never going to get back to
that sense of innocence like my daughter
Charleston we’re I think that’s it’s too
far gone but we can actually grow
stronger than the lie we can come back
the lie we can get past it we can become
men and women who actually stand on the
other side of it and we can help our
brothers and sisters our daughters help
them through it to a place of
completeness
apart from consumption so today I’ve
talked to you a lot about the lie right
I’ve talked to you about where does it
come from I’ve talked to you about how
to combat it so as I’m wrapping this up
I want to leave you with the opposite of
the lie the opposite of the magazine’s
the opposite of the brand’s the opposite
of that kid on the playground I want to
leave you today with the truth and that
is this you all of you are worthy of
love you don’t have to buy or do
anything for it thank you
[Applause]
this is my daughter
Charleston Jane she’s three years old
when it comes to clothing
she’s completely and totally free she
loves leopard print she loves pink
anything pink and she loves her yellow
rain jacket and not because some
magazine tells her that that’s what’s a
mean that’s what she’s supposed to wear
right she loves it because she just
loves it it’s what she likes she her
clothes are actually a complete
translation of who she is and what she
enjoys I’m telling you about this
because that’s actually where all of us
start when it comes to clothing for each
of us we all started in a spot where
clothes were just simply a visual
representation of who we are right our
preferences and our desires but if her
story is like most people’s story this
is about to change in a big way pretty
soon pretty soon she’s going to actually
experience something that I call the lie
did he come through magazines you come
through brands then come from some idiot
kid on the playground realistically and
the lie that she’s going to hear is this
you are not okay you need to buy things
in order to be made whole you see as she
starts to hear this lie mmm it really is
it’s kind of underpinning a lot of what
the modern fashion industry really
communicates the most women which is
based on kind of the Greek system of
forms right there’s like a perfect
version of woman over here or man over
here and then there’s the rest of us
over here and essentially what modern
fashion does is we need to mute and
change those things that are unique
about ourselves by our shape our
dimensions those are coloring to try to
get a little bit closer to this ideal
over here so if you’re curvy you need to
wear all one color right or you need buy
something with vertical stripes if
you’re tall you need to buy flats right
and it creates this endless cycle of
consumption or we’re buying things in
order to be made more close to what we
consider perfect right and the cycle
results in us buying a lot of clothing
and that results in clutter in our
closets in our hearts and in our minds
clothes that aren’t really us because
that was kind of the point right
it was actually to make it less of
and as Charleston’s father I’m gonna try
to communicate no you’re okay right I
love you and you don’t need to buy
anything to be made more whole but the
truth is that my voice is pretty small
compared to an industry that’s multi
billions of dollars right in fact that
industry is gonna make over one hundred
and twenty thousand dollars off of my
daughter’s and security throughout her
lifetime and the rate of consumption is
actually increasing what we found is
that uh in 1930 the average woman had
thirty five items of clothing in her
closet today it’s over one hundred and
twenty clothes that we don’t even like
right how’s that how’s this lie so good
at selling stuff here’s how it works
picture yourself in the mall right you
go into the mall and we see this massive
glossy photo right and it’s people just
in total bliss wearing denim jackets and
that says you know if you buy this denim
jacket you’ll be happy like us and us
wanting to be part of this you know
included in this club we say okay I’ll
buy it so you kind of go over there and
not feel okay all right great then the
same models like two weeks later three
weeks later they’re all wearing leather
jackets and say buy leather jackets so
you can be cool just like us so we go
over there and say okay great and so
then we buy that and then we’re okay and
then a week later it’s bomber jackets
and the cycle continues and continues
it’s an it’s where it’s really exclusion
so that we can get this perpetual buying
cycle and it never runs out right and
that’s actually where I come into this
story because I mmm Blake Smith and the
CEO of a fashion company in fact I spent
the past five years of my life in an
industry whose fundamental driver of
growth is the exploitation of my
daughters and during that time I’ve kind
of learned two major things about the
lie number one the lie works it’s
incredibly effective at selling stuff
it’s a great tool to get somebody to buy
things for the rest of their lives but I
also learned something else but to the
lie can be reversed it can be beat you
do not have to keep feeling the way that
you feel and I’ve been dedicating my
life and dedicated my company it’s
actually fighting that lie in the
marketplace and as we’ve served tens of
thousands of women in the process of
doing that I’ve learned that there are
two major
tools I want to leave with you today two
tools that you can use to combat the lie
in your own life – number one I know who
I am right so the lie is you are not
okay that’s where it starts right you
are not okay
so we need to actually we need to
confront that lie front and center and
say no I Know Who I am and I am okay
right so how do we get there for some of
us we can maybe literally right now you
can take out a sheet of paper and you
could write down these are the things
that I know that are true about myself
things that have nothing to do with my
physical appearance but just are true
valuable things if you get stuck I
personally I got stuck and so I felt
like I needed some help go to a friend
or a family member someone that loves
you and knows you really well and ask
them how am I good for other people
maybe they tell you something like your
sense of humor is really helpful in
tense situations it disarms people write
that down that is you that’s who you are
has nothing to do with your physical
appearance and own that thing so that
when you see that big glossy poster in
the mall and say wait a second no I’m
okay I Know Who I am and now I can
interpret what is this thing actually
communicating to me so I Know Who I am
number two I know what I like right so
the second part of the lie the first
part is you’re not okay the second part
is now by this we need to be able to say
wait a second what is this is this a
thing that I actually like personally
right and that’s the way of filtering
the lie so how do we get there how do we
how do we really figure out what it is
that we like when it comes to clothing
especially when we’re submerged right
we’re completely wrapped up and all
these messages about what you should
like or what you should buy I found an
exercise that’s really helpful in this
in fact you may have already heard about
it our companies promoted it a lot it’s
this idea of go to your closet and hang
up all of your clothes with the hangers
facing toward you right so the hooks are
facing toward you and over the course of
the next month what I want you to do is
each time you wear an item and you go to
hang it back up I want you to turn the
hanger around it’s almost like a log of
what you’ve worn for an entire month so
at the end of the month you’re going to
have hook spacing this way of clothes
that you never wore and hooks facing
this way clothes that you did wear and
you’re gonna see two major
when you do that first you realize that
you only wear about 20% of the clothes
that are in your closet the rest of us
just clutter and we could totally get
rid of it and then second you’re gonna
see there’s a theme throughout the
clothes that are actually that you
actually wore their colors cuts fabrics
this is kind of the core of what you
like
notice that I’ve write that down and say
okay this is what I really enjoy this is
kind of a step of unlocking your inner
three-year-old right like my daughter
Charleston what is it that you like just
because you like it what’s your favorite
color
why don’t we ever talk about favorite
color have you noticed that we never
talk about what your favorite color is
anymore as adults
it seems childlike but you should know
what your favorite color is and you
should wear that color because you feel
good in it
right I know who I am I know what I like
if we can really practice this as a
discipline over months and years we can
actually beat and combat and actually
get past the lie but the truth is is
that we’re never going to get back to
that sense of innocence like my daughter
Charleston we’re I think that’s it’s too
far gone but we can actually grow
stronger than the lie we can come back
the lie we can get past it we can become
men and women who actually stand on the
other side of it and we can help our
brothers and sisters our daughters help
them through it to a place of
completeness
apart from consumption so today I’ve
talked to you a lot about the lie right
I’ve talked to you about where does it
come from I’ve talked to you about how
to combat it so as I’m wrapping this up
I want to leave you with the opposite of
the lie the opposite of the magazine’s
the opposite of the brand’s the opposite
of that kid on the playground I want to
leave you today with the truth and that
is this you all of you are worthy of
love you don’t have to buy or do
anything for it thank you
[Applause]
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