what does choosing life mean to you for
me
it is meant making difficult decisions
trust rediscovery and at times learning
that it can take an entire community in
October of 2015 I was diagnosed with a
rare form of cancer called chordoma in
fact it is only diagnosed in one in a
million people each year
currently there are 1,800 people living
with cor DOMA worldwide we are all from
different backgrounds and ranged in age
from about 10 months to 75 and I know
this because we have a Facebook page for
me core DOMA was a skull base tumor that
had been growing in my body for some
time until its presence was made known
because I lost vision and when I
however core DOMA can grow anywhere
along the spinal cord
it is typically chemo resistant and at
this time there is no cure most
treatments for chordoma are administered
in the form of clinical trials patients
face risks like blindness paralysis and
because of the general proximity of the
tumors in relation to vital organs
radiation is only an option once now I
don’t recommend doing what I did when I
was first diagnosed but I googled it
I read for hours but one of the facts
stood out most the average survival rate
for people with core doma is about 7
years I thought of my daughter the life
I had built the jobs that I loved and
the obvious lack of time I
going to have to experience all of it it
was in that moment that the words I had
read were so powerful I was there in I
was going to die so I called a good
friend looking for comfort but she
suggested I call her mom now her mom is
a breast cancer survivor
unlike all mothers the distributor of
undeniable wisdom it was during an
intense conversation that this survivor
gave me two of the most important words
I will ever hear
she said choose life well in addition to
the words I also wanted all of the
answers and the manual so that I too
could survive but she didn’t give me any
of those things instead she issued a
challenge she said that I would need to
work to find out what choosing life was
going to mean for me and for my life the
first step was to choose the clinical
trial and moved to Texas my surgery was
scheduled for late December of 2015 and
about eight hours a team of doctors
removed a hard to reach tumor located
near my brainstem without one visible
scar this is because they did the whole
surgery through my nose there they were
able to remove the entire tumor and this
was a huge victory worthy of celebration
but I didn’t do much celebrating for me
walking and gaining back my independence
was a little more important when I could
climb stairs I was ready to move on to
the next part of my journey initially I
received 11 treatments of regular
radiation and in March of 2016 I moved
on to proton beam radiation it was there
that I met a family who loved me as
their own and their little warrior named
Connor
connor was about 14 months old at the
time and we went through the same
clinical trial together our family spent
time celebrating milestones throughout
treatment Connor and his family helps me
me to find my relationship with my own
daughter it was an observing the
resilience that I became aware of the
need to reprioritize and she’s a higher
quality of life for her but choosing
life doesn’t always mean we get to
choose to live because life isn’t fair
it was devastating to learn that I would
make it to my first six-month checkup
and Connor would not but I consider my
time with him a gift in every sense of
the word I was able to witness an entire
family become a source of compassion for
others through the most trying of times
it was this strength and selflessness
that Connor and his family
used to teach me more about choosing
life than I could ever hope to fully
convey in this lifetime choosing life
isn’t easy at times it has meant
learning and relearning that no matter
who we are where we come from and what
we stand to lose there are some
circumstances in life nobody is exempt
from for me it was cancer and for others
it is a loss or experience just as
profound it can mean leaving a career
that you loved
because part of rebuilding is finding
out who you are and how you can best
serve others all over again it is
finding your starting place when you
come home that the entire definition of
home has changed it is figuring out how
to keep the relationships you have
formed with other people because now
they’re a part of your story and you’re
not done writing yet choosing life has
been the heartbreak of letting go and
learning to be grateful for time and
memories that you’re able to keep it is
a conversation an experience or a
gesture that reminds you that choosing
life is never just a personal choice
at times it’s a community effort of
selfless actions taken by others who
refuse to allow you to fail even when
your world is very dark for me they were
high school classmates who bought my
groceries and looked after my basic
needs coworkers who called me every day
during their lunch hour so that I knew I
wasn’t forgotten strangers who I met and
had a deeper connection with than most
because they too had experienced the
loss of a life they loved and were in
the process of rebuilding my mom and dad
who took care of my daughter throughout
treatment and loved her as their very
own volunteers who tied beautiful
scarves around my head when my hair fell
out choosing life was falling in love
and the warm embrace that made me feel
beautiful when I was uncomfortable in my
own skin and sorting through all of the
pieces trying to find myself again upon
returning to New Mexico choosing life
has been found in the beauty of new
beginnings it
then the gift of a new career I’m
finding that others still have faith in
the ideas and abilities I thought I lost
it has been coming to terms with the
aftermath of insurmountable loss through
forgiveness and in turn finding others
who share the same beliefs and drive
there are people all around us who live
in the ability to choose a higher
quality of life for others through gifts
of the most passionate kind they choose
to look past our current circumstances
and remind us that we too have chosen
life and all of the hats we wear
sometimes we just need a little help to
wear them they are comedians like rusty
Rutherford who uses humor to reach out
to the youth who need it most
and they also stop by to rap at your
daughter’s birthday party because joy
comes in many forms and at that time she
could have used a little joy she was
starting her first week at a new school
but that mean they make amazing
scientific discoveries they Carissa saw
bon mots ooh and they move an entire
project to Texas because the value of
friendship is greater than any distance
like jo-ann Mitchell lease and
first-generation college students to
four-year universities and they also
give you a job
rooted in social justice the starting
place you were looking for it even
though it took her a lot of faith
because I hadn’t gotten the final word I
was in remission just yet they do this
tirelessly choose life for others
because they have found what makes their
soul happy they choose to spend their
time carving the edges to the final
piece of the puzzle
strengthens our communities one person
at a time
I thought hard to ensure that this is
not just a story I would tell all of you
about cancer because choosing length is
so much more than just my story it is
the common thread that has moved
multiple souls to begin a connection it
has been opening the doors to the
opportunities that live within
possibility even when the possibilities
are very small because in walking a path
that forces us out of our comfort zone
we are able to receive gifts from others
that fill us with the courage we need to
choose life in turn we are empowered to
make decisions along the way that will
inspire people to choose life as well
[Applause]
me
it is meant making difficult decisions
trust rediscovery and at times learning
that it can take an entire community in
October of 2015 I was diagnosed with a
rare form of cancer called chordoma in
fact it is only diagnosed in one in a
million people each year
currently there are 1,800 people living
with cor DOMA worldwide we are all from
different backgrounds and ranged in age
from about 10 months to 75 and I know
this because we have a Facebook page for
me core DOMA was a skull base tumor that
had been growing in my body for some
time until its presence was made known
because I lost vision and when I
however core DOMA can grow anywhere
along the spinal cord
it is typically chemo resistant and at
this time there is no cure most
treatments for chordoma are administered
in the form of clinical trials patients
face risks like blindness paralysis and
because of the general proximity of the
tumors in relation to vital organs
radiation is only an option once now I
don’t recommend doing what I did when I
was first diagnosed but I googled it
I read for hours but one of the facts
stood out most the average survival rate
for people with core doma is about 7
years I thought of my daughter the life
I had built the jobs that I loved and
the obvious lack of time I
going to have to experience all of it it
was in that moment that the words I had
read were so powerful I was there in I
was going to die so I called a good
friend looking for comfort but she
suggested I call her mom now her mom is
a breast cancer survivor
unlike all mothers the distributor of
undeniable wisdom it was during an
intense conversation that this survivor
gave me two of the most important words
I will ever hear
she said choose life well in addition to
the words I also wanted all of the
answers and the manual so that I too
could survive but she didn’t give me any
of those things instead she issued a
challenge she said that I would need to
work to find out what choosing life was
going to mean for me and for my life the
first step was to choose the clinical
trial and moved to Texas my surgery was
scheduled for late December of 2015 and
about eight hours a team of doctors
removed a hard to reach tumor located
near my brainstem without one visible
scar this is because they did the whole
surgery through my nose there they were
able to remove the entire tumor and this
was a huge victory worthy of celebration
but I didn’t do much celebrating for me
walking and gaining back my independence
was a little more important when I could
climb stairs I was ready to move on to
the next part of my journey initially I
received 11 treatments of regular
radiation and in March of 2016 I moved
on to proton beam radiation it was there
that I met a family who loved me as
their own and their little warrior named
Connor
connor was about 14 months old at the
time and we went through the same
clinical trial together our family spent
time celebrating milestones throughout
treatment Connor and his family helps me
me to find my relationship with my own
daughter it was an observing the
resilience that I became aware of the
need to reprioritize and she’s a higher
quality of life for her but choosing
life doesn’t always mean we get to
choose to live because life isn’t fair
it was devastating to learn that I would
make it to my first six-month checkup
and Connor would not but I consider my
time with him a gift in every sense of
the word I was able to witness an entire
family become a source of compassion for
others through the most trying of times
it was this strength and selflessness
that Connor and his family
used to teach me more about choosing
life than I could ever hope to fully
convey in this lifetime choosing life
isn’t easy at times it has meant
learning and relearning that no matter
who we are where we come from and what
we stand to lose there are some
circumstances in life nobody is exempt
from for me it was cancer and for others
it is a loss or experience just as
profound it can mean leaving a career
that you loved
because part of rebuilding is finding
out who you are and how you can best
serve others all over again it is
finding your starting place when you
come home that the entire definition of
home has changed it is figuring out how
to keep the relationships you have
formed with other people because now
they’re a part of your story and you’re
not done writing yet choosing life has
been the heartbreak of letting go and
learning to be grateful for time and
memories that you’re able to keep it is
a conversation an experience or a
gesture that reminds you that choosing
life is never just a personal choice
at times it’s a community effort of
selfless actions taken by others who
refuse to allow you to fail even when
your world is very dark for me they were
high school classmates who bought my
groceries and looked after my basic
needs coworkers who called me every day
during their lunch hour so that I knew I
wasn’t forgotten strangers who I met and
had a deeper connection with than most
because they too had experienced the
loss of a life they loved and were in
the process of rebuilding my mom and dad
who took care of my daughter throughout
treatment and loved her as their very
own volunteers who tied beautiful
scarves around my head when my hair fell
out choosing life was falling in love
and the warm embrace that made me feel
beautiful when I was uncomfortable in my
own skin and sorting through all of the
pieces trying to find myself again upon
returning to New Mexico choosing life
has been found in the beauty of new
beginnings it
then the gift of a new career I’m
finding that others still have faith in
the ideas and abilities I thought I lost
it has been coming to terms with the
aftermath of insurmountable loss through
forgiveness and in turn finding others
who share the same beliefs and drive
there are people all around us who live
in the ability to choose a higher
quality of life for others through gifts
of the most passionate kind they choose
to look past our current circumstances
and remind us that we too have chosen
life and all of the hats we wear
sometimes we just need a little help to
wear them they are comedians like rusty
Rutherford who uses humor to reach out
to the youth who need it most
and they also stop by to rap at your
daughter’s birthday party because joy
comes in many forms and at that time she
could have used a little joy she was
starting her first week at a new school
but that mean they make amazing
scientific discoveries they Carissa saw
bon mots ooh and they move an entire
project to Texas because the value of
friendship is greater than any distance
like jo-ann Mitchell lease and
first-generation college students to
four-year universities and they also
give you a job
rooted in social justice the starting
place you were looking for it even
though it took her a lot of faith
because I hadn’t gotten the final word I
was in remission just yet they do this
tirelessly choose life for others
because they have found what makes their
soul happy they choose to spend their
time carving the edges to the final
piece of the puzzle
strengthens our communities one person
at a time
I thought hard to ensure that this is
not just a story I would tell all of you
about cancer because choosing length is
so much more than just my story it is
the common thread that has moved
multiple souls to begin a connection it
has been opening the doors to the
opportunities that live within
possibility even when the possibilities
are very small because in walking a path
that forces us out of our comfort zone
we are able to receive gifts from others
that fill us with the courage we need to
choose life in turn we are empowered to
make decisions along the way that will
inspire people to choose life as well
[Applause]
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