hi everyone so I had a lot of dreams
when I was five from being a singer to a
psychologist to an artist I just wanted
to make an impact and I wanted a life
that was exciting I’m sure many of you
guys had dreams when you were five how
many of you have actually held on to
them see that’s interesting because I
think there’s this pivotal moment and
all of our young adult lives where we
are asked to really think very deeply
you’re not five anymore you have to
figure out what you really want to do
where you really want to go and what
you’re really going to be and for me
that moment was when I was 16 I was
getting ready to apply to college and I
had created a very solid research-based
plan statistically proof proof fool like
it was gonna be great you wonder what it
is I was going to be married at 21 with
my economics degree from Harvard spoiler
alert that didn’t happen but I had
created a vision for myself based on the
need to control my past growing up I had
a wonderful family they were great but
not everything was perfect my mother
struggled with drug addiction and my
father with alcoholism we didn’t always
have money and by the time I was in high
school and my parents divorced when I
was 16
I’d made a very clear decision I was
gonna be rich I was gonna be hot and I
was gonna have a wonderful marriage and
I was gonna be the most intelligent
thing on the planet and nothing was ever
going to stop me so when I went to apply
for college I applied to 26 schools
and spoiler alert didn’t get into
Harvard but no bother I ended up at
Northwestern University and known for
not being the first choice but I was
really excited to be at one of the top
ten schools and then I was like I’m
gonna do economics but the first thing
that happens in some of my peers maybe
understand this when you step on a
college university campus there’s
something that they tell you you’re
probably not going to keep your major
what you came in here with probably
won’t stay with you be ready to adjust
and I was like oh no not me not this
girl she’s gonna be an economics major
to the day she dies well December comes
and a c-minus in microeconomics later
the intro class I had quickly understood
but that wasn’t gonna be my thing but
beyond the bad grade I had come to
realize that I didn’t love it
it wasn’t what made me happy but finally
I was like you know I’m pretty cute I’ve
failed two out of three but I can
totally be wifed by a senior quarter by
spring quarter of senior year and I
gravitated someone who I thought would
fit my dreams and quickly realized the
complicated nature of relationships that
relationship ended up being abusive and
manipulative and the hardest part was
when I was sitting in my dorm room when
I was 19 I had to understand that I let
it happen
and I’d let all these things that I’d
wanted to be become more important than
what I truly wanted to follow in life I
was harboring all my aspirations putting
them aside and saying oh it’s totally
fine it’s okay because life is not as
bad as it was and I’m going to be okay I
am going to make this work for me and
what ended up happening to me as I
experienced this is I just broke one
night I was depressed
I wasn’t happy and I had this dream back
then I thought it was a nightmare
of a five year old little girl and she
was happy she was excited she was the
girl that went to be a singer one day
the psychologist the next the artist the
next week and when I woke up she was
just gone she wasn’t there and when I
looked in the mirror I didn’t really
know who I was I thought the devil I
knew was better than the devil I didn’t
know and when it came down to it I was
so afraid of learning a new environment
so afraid of becoming a new person I
thought it would be better to stick to
the status quo however I know I’m not
alone the way we process our past
experiences eventually turn into habits
it is ingrained in our brains to
somewhat in a lot of ways hate on
certain teeth and our brains hate bun
certainty because our brains react to it
by responding with fear so let’s break
that down in a recent study at Cal Tech
and neuro economists studied subjects
brains and image them as they were asked
to make increasingly uncertain decisions
and many types of things in their life
like driving or going grocery shopping
as the decisions and the scenarios
became more uncertain the subjects and
their decisions became more erratic and
more irrational on top of that as the
subjects and the scenarios became more
uncertain the subjects brains trans
translated their sort of process and
thinking and thinking to the limbic
system and the brain and that is what
processes our emotions of fear and
anxiety so here’s the thing our brains
are wired to love control when we see
meaninglessness we want to create
meaning which is why we think there’s
cheese in the sky or when we see
uncertainty we want to find the
certainty and every
tuition another research study suggests
that when we are faced with a situation
either something that can happen to us
are something really you know we just
don’t know what’s gonna happen most of
the time subjects are going to pick the
bad thing because we know what’s coming
next so here’s the effect we stay in
relationships we don’t want we keep jobs
that don’t make us happy we stay in
situations that no longer serve us
because we know what’s coming next and
for me in my life as I’ve started to
think about it and as I sort of fell
through this train of understanding and
waking up and not knowing who I was the
girl in the mirror I had to kind of
think about two things and two subsets
the questions that I want you to think
about right now what made you happy when
you got up this morning what was the
last thing you’ve thought about when you
went to sleep what did the five-year-old
to you dream about when was the last
time you laughed or smiled or cried what
was it about because when you lean into
that thing whatever that thing is it
could be cupcakes it could be for me
arts and creativity when you lean into
that thing it allows you to begin to
process what you really want in life
but not only that it allows you to
create some thread of your own purpose
that allows you to fight for something
as you face uncertainty as you continue
forward for me after I was 19
sitting in my dorm room I realized five
year old me had a lot of things I needed
to talk to her about and when it came
down to it I decided that I would start
my company people 6 we’re a student-led
digital marketing agency that works to
be a transformative partner with our
clients to create research to
content but also to work through purpose
to in top potential where people don’t
really see it and for me that was what
really gave me purpose it made me
excited because there was a chance for
students like me for people like me who
felt like they had one path to do
something if they have the talent to do
so so as you think about in certainty
it’s okay to feel anxious about the
future the future is filled with crazy
things in uncertainties but here’s the
difference between someone that stays in
the path of feeling lost and hopeless
and someone that can keep moving forward
is that they find the action they start
thinking about what they want they take
precautions to it they do something they
start moving forward in whatever way
possible to try to make sense of the
things that they truly want so that they
can move forward for you all I want you
to remember the three things and the
three answers to this questions I’d
asked you earlier what got you up this
morning what made you laugh and what are
you really fighting for thank you so
much [Applause]
when I was five from being a singer to a
psychologist to an artist I just wanted
to make an impact and I wanted a life
that was exciting I’m sure many of you
guys had dreams when you were five how
many of you have actually held on to
them see that’s interesting because I
think there’s this pivotal moment and
all of our young adult lives where we
are asked to really think very deeply
you’re not five anymore you have to
figure out what you really want to do
where you really want to go and what
you’re really going to be and for me
that moment was when I was 16 I was
getting ready to apply to college and I
had created a very solid research-based
plan statistically proof proof fool like
it was gonna be great you wonder what it
is I was going to be married at 21 with
my economics degree from Harvard spoiler
alert that didn’t happen but I had
created a vision for myself based on the
need to control my past growing up I had
a wonderful family they were great but
not everything was perfect my mother
struggled with drug addiction and my
father with alcoholism we didn’t always
have money and by the time I was in high
school and my parents divorced when I
was 16
I’d made a very clear decision I was
gonna be rich I was gonna be hot and I
was gonna have a wonderful marriage and
I was gonna be the most intelligent
thing on the planet and nothing was ever
going to stop me so when I went to apply
for college I applied to 26 schools
and spoiler alert didn’t get into
Harvard but no bother I ended up at
Northwestern University and known for
not being the first choice but I was
really excited to be at one of the top
ten schools and then I was like I’m
gonna do economics but the first thing
that happens in some of my peers maybe
understand this when you step on a
college university campus there’s
something that they tell you you’re
probably not going to keep your major
what you came in here with probably
won’t stay with you be ready to adjust
and I was like oh no not me not this
girl she’s gonna be an economics major
to the day she dies well December comes
and a c-minus in microeconomics later
the intro class I had quickly understood
but that wasn’t gonna be my thing but
beyond the bad grade I had come to
realize that I didn’t love it
it wasn’t what made me happy but finally
I was like you know I’m pretty cute I’ve
failed two out of three but I can
totally be wifed by a senior quarter by
spring quarter of senior year and I
gravitated someone who I thought would
fit my dreams and quickly realized the
complicated nature of relationships that
relationship ended up being abusive and
manipulative and the hardest part was
when I was sitting in my dorm room when
I was 19 I had to understand that I let
it happen
and I’d let all these things that I’d
wanted to be become more important than
what I truly wanted to follow in life I
was harboring all my aspirations putting
them aside and saying oh it’s totally
fine it’s okay because life is not as
bad as it was and I’m going to be okay I
am going to make this work for me and
what ended up happening to me as I
experienced this is I just broke one
night I was depressed
I wasn’t happy and I had this dream back
then I thought it was a nightmare
of a five year old little girl and she
was happy she was excited she was the
girl that went to be a singer one day
the psychologist the next the artist the
next week and when I woke up she was
just gone she wasn’t there and when I
looked in the mirror I didn’t really
know who I was I thought the devil I
knew was better than the devil I didn’t
know and when it came down to it I was
so afraid of learning a new environment
so afraid of becoming a new person I
thought it would be better to stick to
the status quo however I know I’m not
alone the way we process our past
experiences eventually turn into habits
it is ingrained in our brains to
somewhat in a lot of ways hate on
certain teeth and our brains hate bun
certainty because our brains react to it
by responding with fear so let’s break
that down in a recent study at Cal Tech
and neuro economists studied subjects
brains and image them as they were asked
to make increasingly uncertain decisions
and many types of things in their life
like driving or going grocery shopping
as the decisions and the scenarios
became more uncertain the subjects and
their decisions became more erratic and
more irrational on top of that as the
subjects and the scenarios became more
uncertain the subjects brains trans
translated their sort of process and
thinking and thinking to the limbic
system and the brain and that is what
processes our emotions of fear and
anxiety so here’s the thing our brains
are wired to love control when we see
meaninglessness we want to create
meaning which is why we think there’s
cheese in the sky or when we see
uncertainty we want to find the
certainty and every
tuition another research study suggests
that when we are faced with a situation
either something that can happen to us
are something really you know we just
don’t know what’s gonna happen most of
the time subjects are going to pick the
bad thing because we know what’s coming
next so here’s the effect we stay in
relationships we don’t want we keep jobs
that don’t make us happy we stay in
situations that no longer serve us
because we know what’s coming next and
for me in my life as I’ve started to
think about it and as I sort of fell
through this train of understanding and
waking up and not knowing who I was the
girl in the mirror I had to kind of
think about two things and two subsets
the questions that I want you to think
about right now what made you happy when
you got up this morning what was the
last thing you’ve thought about when you
went to sleep what did the five-year-old
to you dream about when was the last
time you laughed or smiled or cried what
was it about because when you lean into
that thing whatever that thing is it
could be cupcakes it could be for me
arts and creativity when you lean into
that thing it allows you to begin to
process what you really want in life
but not only that it allows you to
create some thread of your own purpose
that allows you to fight for something
as you face uncertainty as you continue
forward for me after I was 19
sitting in my dorm room I realized five
year old me had a lot of things I needed
to talk to her about and when it came
down to it I decided that I would start
my company people 6 we’re a student-led
digital marketing agency that works to
be a transformative partner with our
clients to create research to
content but also to work through purpose
to in top potential where people don’t
really see it and for me that was what
really gave me purpose it made me
excited because there was a chance for
students like me for people like me who
felt like they had one path to do
something if they have the talent to do
so so as you think about in certainty
it’s okay to feel anxious about the
future the future is filled with crazy
things in uncertainties but here’s the
difference between someone that stays in
the path of feeling lost and hopeless
and someone that can keep moving forward
is that they find the action they start
thinking about what they want they take
precautions to it they do something they
start moving forward in whatever way
possible to try to make sense of the
things that they truly want so that they
can move forward for you all I want you
to remember the three things and the
three answers to this questions I’d
asked you earlier what got you up this
morning what made you laugh and what are
you really fighting for thank you so
much [Applause]
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