random clouds to me this is what I saw
when I woke up on my back looking
straight up and when I sat up I didn’t
have my shirt I didn’t have my cell
phone wallet keys when I looked down I
didn’t have my shoes my toes were ripped
through my socks and in that moment I
had lost the fatality of life and I was
dead to myself now how did I get to the
place I was at well the night before I
ended up at this place called the croc
hose and I didn’t make any conscious
decisions to get there it was a sequence
of bad decisions I remember sitting in
the corner of this sofa I looked out
into his dark empty room not empty with
people
empty in Soul windows are boarded up and
I remember looking out and there’s a guy
beside me on the couch and he was
tweaking out know if you’ve ever been
around someone when they’re doing that
but it’s freaky at that moment I
realized that I was in the darkest
corner of the universe and I felt that
I felt like I was never going to escape
that place well that was also because
there was a guy standing by the door
with a Rambo sized knife block in the
doorway cuz he didn’t want us to leave
because he thought there was law
enforcement or something around and if
there was law enforcement around that
night it would have been on the losing
end of a gun battle so at one point they
took me into this back room and they
lifted up the mattress and for the first
time in my life I saw machine guns not
only that but we were surrounded by the
dangerous most dangerous chemicals known
to man so I had to escape and I waited
until everyone went into that back room
and I took my opportunity and I bolted
out the front door now when I did that I
was obviously doing my escape but the
problem with everything is I ran until I
collapsed it wasn’t just a physical
collapse it was like a collapse of all
of your life and soul so that day I
ended up at the hospital doctor said I
was on a cocktail of drugs I don’t
remember doing them but I except that I
my mom my close friends even friends who
I have from the Calgary Police Service
were there and they were there to nurse
me back to life and in that moment I had
a choice and I chose life I didn’t know
I actually I didn’t know where I was the
night before I took until like 5:00 p.m.
the next day for me to remember what
happened and I didn’t know if my friends
were dead or alive I had a very good
buddy with me there that ended up that
place I didn’t know where he was I
didn’t know if he got his chance to you
and you know now with perspective it
didn’t matter if he was dead or alive
because we were both dead and alive
that’s how we were living without
knowing it so I chose life and I decided
to understand why and how I got to that
place I was a very different type of
person as super creative I like to go
hard into things when I love stuff so
when I heard about the concept of
addiction I was like oh I’m not that
okay there’s no way I’m an addict like
an addict is those guys that night I got
news for all of you we’re all addicts
we’re all addicts to a certain extent
with something even people who rush to
the Starbucks first thing in the morning
I love you guys but you’re all addicts
right so you know once I took months to
understand this idea of addiction I
understood very fast that it’s
misunderstood and to be honest the
common misconception or the common idea
out there right now is that the opposite
of addiction is sobriety so I did that
you know it’s been like 18 or 20 months
or something I stopped counting because
it was like I discovered something else
and I discovered that the true opposite
of addiction isn’t sobriety its
connection not connection to our devices
not just connection with human spirit
but connection to every spirit
so this one day I woke up and I was
drawn and compelled to nature
I took my truck out and got lost in the
woods the Sun hit the snow differently
that day I found dream catchers and
teepees and my shoes broke apart and
there was like a big cleansing type of
thing that happened when that happened I
called my buddies in Calgary and I was
like hey man like do you guys know about
like nature here like I feel I feel
connected to something out here you know
I was just like not even hope to brag
Creek yet I had never explored these
areas where I hate serious and I called
three people that day closes people in
my life told them what I felt they all
called me one thing they called me crazy
so after that there was this big
disconnect between me and like city
lifestyle what actually happened that
day is that I was drawn to pursue the
wild and I’ve relentlessly pursued it
without even thinking about it
I left my nine-to-five when everyone
passed bright Creek every day and I’m
still going further every day and so
when I was compelled to go into nature I
felt alive there was a most purest thing
I had ever ever felt and not only that I
kind of felt like a kid again it goes
running around in the woods acting crazy
like where war paint and stuff – I got
really into it and you know I discovered
it was like I was a child again kind of
discovering childhood again but this
time it was different it wasn’t
childhood it was wild hood and that
moment changed my life so I started
doing things that I had never done
before like getting on a commune this is
one of the most meditative experiences
my entire life being in a canoe or a
kayak and I never knew that about myself
which mean that I didn’t really even
know my true self
oh I was a product of what I thought I
was supposed to be doing so I pushed
further and I was told not to go to the
ice cave because it wasn’t accessible
and while I don’t like not listening to
people I pushed on anyways I took a
calculated risk and I saw the first-ever
ice cave that I’ve ever seen
now that ice cave is actually isn’t
there
it’s the Athabasca ice cave at the toe
of the glacier and it collapsed in
October so I pushed on I overcame my
fear and I had an opportunity to see
something like this so at this point I’m
still addicted and I’m addicted to
nature and that whole experience has
shaped me changed my life and I no
longer need to escape or run away I’m
over the last couple of years there are
a few things that stand out in my mind
as to how you can slay your addictions
to nature with nature
the first one is action and you know
I’ve watched a secret right have you
guys seen the secret project positive
set intentions that’s all true but
without action you’re not gonna wake up
being any different it’s just your
thoughts that are changing not your
behavior so I took action to change my
life I don’t know what compelled me to
go into nature that very first day but I
followed it and I went after it the
second thing is courage did you know
that we’re all courageous in this room
if you don’t think your crazy is because
you’ve been taught that you haven’t been
just like we’re all absolutely creative
but maybe if I asked you guys if you
were creative you tell me you’re type A
or something or type whatever you’re
gonna type whatever your type yourself I
promised you the year you have creative
expect to give and to share
and same with courage encourages a
little bit of a different one you kind
of have to push past your boundaries and
get out of that comfort zone that we’ve
all been taught to hang out in once you
push back that back past that you’ll
find your courage the last thing is you
need to start celebrating relentlessness
don’t just go half-assed with it take it
to they’re very very limit and only then
can you start discovering your true self
so a couple years later here’s where I
am this time I’m in the clouds and
looking down instead of looking up so do
you know what the best part of all this
stuff is it’s knowing that you have the
courage the grit and the resiliency
whether you know it or not to take
charge my real goal from this talk is to
tell you that you don’t have to wait for
your rock bottom my rock bottom was
looking at the clouds yours doesn’t have
to be that no matter what your addiction
is you have the power to change your
life other people’s lives and you have
the power to discover your true self
destroy what destroys you thank you [Applause]