grader at Green Heights International
School and today I’m here to tell you my
story by now every single one of you has
his or her first impression of me
some of you may like me already and some
of you may not but with all due respect
I don’t care except for the ones who do
like me thank you very much for believed
for a very long time now but during this
time I’ve learned the most important
lessons that have helped me through life
until now but to tell you my story we
are going to have to go back to years
ago I walk out into the garden afraid it
was a normal day every bad day was
normal there they were coming to me to
hit me make fun of me and humiliate me
it was a normal day I’ve been a victim
of bullying for a very long time but I
was alone and if I wasn’t alone I will
be surrounded by toxic friends but
little did I know these bad things they
have made me more confident positive
stronger and happier there are three
kinds of people ones whom we consider
the norm those who go out with friends
and so on
then there are those who have no friends
or don’t go to birthday parties just
because they aren’t invited to and then
there are the ones who are surrounded by
toxic friends in my case I was the last
two people combined since you couldn’t
really call my friends at the time real
ones one day my mom found me on the
crank on the couch with a few scratches
as a result of what my so-called friends
thought was a game instead of standing
up for myself my mom did and I couldn’t
be more thankful but to them this was
considered a sign of weakness it reached
a point where they got the strongest of
them to beat me up oh and it gets worse
they even created a whatsapp group share
videos of me getting hit I learned some
of my mistakes by talking to my parents
about
and one of them was not standing up for
myself
and making it clear that this this is
not a game of course being backstabbed
by my own best friends was something
that I never saw coming and no matter
how much my parents warned me about them
I still couldn’t believe that my own
best friends would be the ones who would
believe me after all during this time I
experienced a great deal of loneliness I
experienced a great deal of loneliness
and I still had a few friends but I
still felt lonely and we weren’t even
that close actually so I hope this makes
whoever if is feeling the same way now
know that they are not alone because
there are loads of people who are
feeling the same way there is so much
more to dealing with bullying than what
people tell you I was still being made
fun of hit pushed punched insulted nice
times but how does I deal with it well I
made lots of mistakes but mistakes were
a good thing for me
mistakes gave me good lessons that
helped me improve one thing you can do
to learn from my mistakes and I wish I
had done that at all times is to ignore
them ignore their comments bullies have
a certain goal in their mind it can be
one of many things but most of the time
they want to just bother you or provoke
you or grab your attention maybe satisfy
themselves with your own pain so
sometimes when someone made fun of me I
ignored
I turned the tables around they weren’t
the ones getting the last laugh I was
and it was also kind of fun for example
I uploaded a video on YouTube once and
someone left me this comment your
channel sucks just like you this was my
reply thank you for expressing your
opinion happy late Valentine’s Day in
[Applause]
see I got the last laugh and he didn’t
even need to apply he didn’t have to I
ruined his goal another thing my parents
told me to do was when someone
physically believed me
I should go through three stages first
go tell someone who could help you
through it and if that doesn’t work
firmly telling yourself to stop and if
that doesn’t even do anything then
you’re gonna have to defend yourself
physically but during the process do not
turn into the bully because that’s what
the bullies want they want to break you
they want to take away that thing you
have that they are so jealous of if you
turn into one of them you lost you
didn’t survive burning if you even if he
become so immensely popular he’s still
lost sometimes when someone gets bullied
it can mean that they will experience a
lot of alone time during my time being
bullied I spent most of my time at
school whether being bullied or staying
alone and as I said I had a few friends
but it didn’t remove all my feelings of
loneliness I felt like a nothing but as
the weeks passed by I learned to love
myself it was a hard thing for me but I
learned to love my own company I started
to love my hate itself so I started to
love my own company which started to
boost my confidence and confidence was
actually one of the major keys that
helped me survive bullying confidence
helped me through a lot of tough times
confidence gave me courage to stand up
for myself against bullies or anyone who
undermined me so when someone was
physically verbally or emotionally
bullying me I could stand up for myself
it helps you realize who you really are
taught me realized who I was so anyways
I for example sometimes bullies make fun
of people for something that they love
to do but they should never let go of it
when someone makes fun of me for
something that I love doing it to do I
never let go of it not once
we strive to bring you down they would
never consider what’s best for you
actually
so for example I used to play karta and
all the guys in my class kept making fun
of me and saying you can’t hit you can’t
take heart eh you can do anything but I
ignored them
karate was something I enjoyed doing and
I wasn’t going to let them take that
away from me another thing that helped
me love myself was the character in
sitcom called How I Met Your Mother
named Barney Stinson I saw how he always
said that he was awesome and I liked
that
so I started to tell myself that I was
awesome and by time I believed that I
believe that I was awesome and I was
satisfied with myself and if I’m
satisfied with myself I don’t need to
listen to somebody who criticizes me you
if someone makes fun
if someone says you’re ugly or pretty it
doesn’t even instantly make you that you
are beautiful when you know you are and
you are strong when you know your
self-worth billing was a very dark time
for me indeed but I always knew that
things will get better that positive
thought it kept me going it gave me hope
I had a will to make things better and
that actually paid off because they
really do no matter what people might
say to bring you down so I started
thinking more positively I started
trying to put positive thoughts
everywhere for example in my alone big
time I channeled that a long time and
something more positive what I did was
as simple as getting books to read and
notebooks to write funny and adventure
stories in yeah who needs school friends
Harry Potter and fictional characters I
and I ended up actually enjoying all my
alone time and when I look back I
remember a lot of memories simply what
I’m trying to say find something you
love and hold onto it like a jacket in
the middle of the sea a life jacket in
the middle of the sea because that will
help you in the battle of bullying and
loneliness although I never fully
survived bullying I’m sad I’m more
satisfied and happy with my life right
now
although the bullying never stopped and
I said it had a little negative effects
on me I’m so much happier right now and
everything everything got better even
some of my ex bullies even became my
best friends including that guy so I
want to say I want to say one last I
won’t say something never underestimate
the power of parents in helping you
through anything in fact you should
never ever underestimate the power of
anyone who actually cares about you and
helping you through anything because
there is always someone who cares about
you and you should care about yourself
too because you deserve this care to be
honest I don’t want to end this talk in
some cliched or cheesy dialogue but I
want to say one last thing for my
bullies I would have never been this
strong made great friends or do the
things I love or survive every day
problems without you or let alone doing
a TED talk without you so thank you for
bullying me [Applause]