[Music]
it’s the summer of 2014 I’m sat on a
chair in the shade with family on alone
by the sea in my hometown a man comes
along here see me from afar and is if
you recognize me he makes his way
straight to where I am he points at my
arm where a black stripe of fabric
strategically hides the peak which is
the central venous catheter from which I
received chemotherapy a pink and gray
headscarf is casually wrapped around my
head my new hairstyle for the time being
the man stares at me and cheerfully says
to my mom
congratulations black belt isn’t it I
have to stop my mother’s urge to tell
him just like a typical Italian that no
is no karate my current specialty the
day I was told I had breast cancer was a
grey English day in November 2013 and
although the actual watershed moment
that I always refer to cane the
following March the day of my mastectomy
I’m still fond of that far cold
afternoon because he was after all the
beginning of my journey how would your
life change if tomorrow you or someone
you love received a cancer diagnosis the
reputation of this illness is terrible
indeed the taboo cancer equals death
still makes many casualties among both
sick and healthy people however this is
a story about life mine has literally
been a rebirth and not just because I
survived it my existence until that
moment had always felt like a struggle a
struggle only I seem to be aware of I
was focused and bright during my studies
and later in
jobs but I had no idea of what loving
myself and completely accepting myself
meant because I had always been loved
with limitations there were not so much
limitations in the content as in the
communication but I didn’t know that and
so I used to erect walls every time
people seemed hostile or insensitive or
if they judge me because I felt deep
down that they were right I was never
enough I never did enough I didn’t know
how to grant myself the grace of
forgiveness cancer saved my life in a
matter of minutes all of my fears were
swept away by an extraordinary ability
to be present to myself
a lucid peace a clear intent that has
never left me since no even four
surgeries
and six months of chemo later you see
I’m deeply persuaded of these every test
hides a blessing because crisis is an
opportunity we can only make peace with
our true self
once we know who we are but in order to
know who we are
we need to be challenged because only
once we are pushed to our limits weary
questioned everything we have and
everything we are there is only one
condition though we must be willing to
learn there are endless lessons that I
have learned in the last three years
alone but if I had to say which is the
core of my beliefs I would pick one
concept the steel fits my actions and
holds me hop like a huge centenary tree
from which every other part branches off
and the concept is that we are never
completely powerless there are no magic
tricks involved just one crucial element
and that’s attitude most of the times
attitude plays a major role in
determining how events will unfold and
it’s what can turn a curse into a
blessing
there is a quote by Albert Einstein
there are only two ways to live your
life
one is as though nothing is a miracle
the other is as though everything is a
miracle do you know this quote that’s
the key even within the toughest
experiences there is a fundamental
difference between remaining stuck in a
reaction and exercise is the infinite
power of choice reaction is instinctive
it often mirrors a mindset and just like
habits it’s hard to change unescapable
overwhelming but choice choice is what
must come afterwards at any given moment
we can choose to consider how we can
affect what is happening to us
this notion has changed completely the
way that I relate to other people
because now I choose carefully who and
what can be in my life and the
conditions that are good for me I will
never change the person that I became
after cancer to go back to any of the
previous versions of myself every day in
spite of everything my heart is full of
satisfied joy for the challenges that I
was able to face and for what I managed
to share with the people that I choose
to have by my side no matter how severe
the threat to our peace is I think that
we can always find a way through the
havoc because there is a strength in us
we didn’t even know we had any rests on
two pillars always look after yourself
first and never stop acting with empathy
one of the most powerful lessons that I
have learned is they by looking after
myself first by being kind to myself
first which often means refusing to be
pushed in uncomfortable corners just to
please others I was able to look after
and love others more effectively
and that’s because being so much more
aware of my self-worth I no longer feel
scared to love and to accept the
inevitable risks that might come from
investing in others
I remember being struck by the evocative
power of Steve Jobs words you can
connect the dots looking forward you can
only connect them looking backwards so
you have to trust that the dots will
somehow reconnect in your future we
can’t connect the dots looking forward
that’s true but we can connect herself
to others people have helped me during
my cancer experience directly very often
perfect strangers or people met randomly
they’ve been able to connect with me and
to help me more than my own family my
mother’s reaction to my pain for example
was so angry it’s so difficult for me to
handle that is being one of the main
challenges possibly much harder than the
illness itself but I have also been very
much helped indirectly by focusing my
attention on what was happening to the
people in my life I was reminded that it
was still a world out there with its
problems and his joy and that made me
put my situation in perspective and even
feel grateful I think that the only way
that we can overcome anything together
with really listening to our own needs
it’s turning to others because by
looking after them and receiving their
inputs we build relationships and that
reminds us so powerfully of how
connected and how similar we all are of
course no one is hopeful and grateful
all the time today three years in I
still face so many challenges if it is
common knowledge the face in the
therapies can be quite demanding no one
ever talks about the afterwards
once the chemo is over once the hair is
grown back everyone wants to assume that
you are well they make you understand
that it is urgent
going back to normality needless to say
there is no longer a normality my
normality now is ceasing the
extraordinary within the ordinary but
the truth is if no one ever talks about
the afterwards is because there are no
magic tricks or rules to face it
suddenly I was an orphan over routine
made up of dates therapies meetings they
had become familiar almost comforting my
body is a different geography now the
chronic fatigue left our months of chemo
he’s made even worse by the side effects
of the hormone therapy which steals my
thoughts my sleep it makes even normal
activities and effort not to mention how
superficial people can be whether they
are healthy or seek friends or strangers
sometimes their carelessness as the
power to anger me and he contracts my
heart in a painful spasm even though I
have known and overcome a serious
illness even though in the last three
years I have more than one cried all of
my tears for each of the super brave
warriors that I had to let go of forever
after all a wound is still a wound and
he hurts even on a body that went
through amputation even on a soul that
learned how to fly and so so I made a
decision and I decided that I was going
to become the super brave warrior of my
life and so can you
traumatic events can transform your life
overnight so how can I still of mine
unconditionally despite so many changes
might not have been for the best
what’s left in front of death sickness
in front of his cruciate in memories
what is left
besides emptiness and fear me I am
what’s left
I’m the reborn I’m the witness of life
it’s only when I try to assess where I
was at that he don’t own me despite
having been reborn roughly three years
ago there will still be so many ways in
which I might lose myself and then find
myself again and what’s more important
these two things may often happen at the
same time I can never take for granted
the knowledge of Who I am
it’s not true that others makes us feel
powerless hangry humiliated it’s we are
self who makes this possible it’s we who
abdicate
after all our power to stand by the door
of our soul and deny unwelcome people
the entry I think that there is a source
of immense joy that comes from our will
to learn repeatedly how to look at the
same things from different points of
view sometimes seizing the moment has
more to do with the moment they will let
go of that with the moment we embrace so
that we can respect their power and
slowness that we need or the others
might require sometimes if love is real
love he needs nothing else but to be
expressed now I get it
serenity should not be shouted aloud it
should be offered as a gift it’s as if
we turned on the light in a dark crowded
room it doesn’t just help us to find a
direction at the bottom of my darkest
times I learned the difference between
being alive and feeling alive and I
truly hope you do too whenever something
happens in your lives that makes you
feel powerless
cancer was the way that I had to go
along in order to cut the unhealthy
chains in my life and realize the true
peace can only come from the inside out
but it doesn’t have to be an illness
whatever challenge you might be faced it
confront it own it go all the way fight
the good fight because that crisis might
just be the greatest opportunity of your
lives
if I hadn’t owned my illness I too would
have probably been overwhelmed by fear
in front of that equation cancer equals
death butt-ass I decided to see it for
myself and ultimately trust only my
instinct it changed and for me actually
cancer became a rebirth the poet Gibran
expresses the way I feel by talking of
waking a dawn with a winged heart and
giving thanks for another day of loving
so do not be afraid if a hardship causes
you to request an everything you have
and everything you are waked on with a
winged heart and give thanks for another
day of loving thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
it’s the summer of 2014 I’m sat on a
chair in the shade with family on alone
by the sea in my hometown a man comes
along here see me from afar and is if
you recognize me he makes his way
straight to where I am he points at my
arm where a black stripe of fabric
strategically hides the peak which is
the central venous catheter from which I
received chemotherapy a pink and gray
headscarf is casually wrapped around my
head my new hairstyle for the time being
the man stares at me and cheerfully says
to my mom
congratulations black belt isn’t it I
have to stop my mother’s urge to tell
him just like a typical Italian that no
is no karate my current specialty the
day I was told I had breast cancer was a
grey English day in November 2013 and
although the actual watershed moment
that I always refer to cane the
following March the day of my mastectomy
I’m still fond of that far cold
afternoon because he was after all the
beginning of my journey how would your
life change if tomorrow you or someone
you love received a cancer diagnosis the
reputation of this illness is terrible
indeed the taboo cancer equals death
still makes many casualties among both
sick and healthy people however this is
a story about life mine has literally
been a rebirth and not just because I
survived it my existence until that
moment had always felt like a struggle a
struggle only I seem to be aware of I
was focused and bright during my studies
and later in
jobs but I had no idea of what loving
myself and completely accepting myself
meant because I had always been loved
with limitations there were not so much
limitations in the content as in the
communication but I didn’t know that and
so I used to erect walls every time
people seemed hostile or insensitive or
if they judge me because I felt deep
down that they were right I was never
enough I never did enough I didn’t know
how to grant myself the grace of
forgiveness cancer saved my life in a
matter of minutes all of my fears were
swept away by an extraordinary ability
to be present to myself
a lucid peace a clear intent that has
never left me since no even four
surgeries
and six months of chemo later you see
I’m deeply persuaded of these every test
hides a blessing because crisis is an
opportunity we can only make peace with
our true self
once we know who we are but in order to
know who we are
we need to be challenged because only
once we are pushed to our limits weary
questioned everything we have and
everything we are there is only one
condition though we must be willing to
learn there are endless lessons that I
have learned in the last three years
alone but if I had to say which is the
core of my beliefs I would pick one
concept the steel fits my actions and
holds me hop like a huge centenary tree
from which every other part branches off
and the concept is that we are never
completely powerless there are no magic
tricks involved just one crucial element
and that’s attitude most of the times
attitude plays a major role in
determining how events will unfold and
it’s what can turn a curse into a
blessing
there is a quote by Albert Einstein
there are only two ways to live your
life
one is as though nothing is a miracle
the other is as though everything is a
miracle do you know this quote that’s
the key even within the toughest
experiences there is a fundamental
difference between remaining stuck in a
reaction and exercise is the infinite
power of choice reaction is instinctive
it often mirrors a mindset and just like
habits it’s hard to change unescapable
overwhelming but choice choice is what
must come afterwards at any given moment
we can choose to consider how we can
affect what is happening to us
this notion has changed completely the
way that I relate to other people
because now I choose carefully who and
what can be in my life and the
conditions that are good for me I will
never change the person that I became
after cancer to go back to any of the
previous versions of myself every day in
spite of everything my heart is full of
satisfied joy for the challenges that I
was able to face and for what I managed
to share with the people that I choose
to have by my side no matter how severe
the threat to our peace is I think that
we can always find a way through the
havoc because there is a strength in us
we didn’t even know we had any rests on
two pillars always look after yourself
first and never stop acting with empathy
one of the most powerful lessons that I
have learned is they by looking after
myself first by being kind to myself
first which often means refusing to be
pushed in uncomfortable corners just to
please others I was able to look after
and love others more effectively
and that’s because being so much more
aware of my self-worth I no longer feel
scared to love and to accept the
inevitable risks that might come from
investing in others
I remember being struck by the evocative
power of Steve Jobs words you can
connect the dots looking forward you can
only connect them looking backwards so
you have to trust that the dots will
somehow reconnect in your future we
can’t connect the dots looking forward
that’s true but we can connect herself
to others people have helped me during
my cancer experience directly very often
perfect strangers or people met randomly
they’ve been able to connect with me and
to help me more than my own family my
mother’s reaction to my pain for example
was so angry it’s so difficult for me to
handle that is being one of the main
challenges possibly much harder than the
illness itself but I have also been very
much helped indirectly by focusing my
attention on what was happening to the
people in my life I was reminded that it
was still a world out there with its
problems and his joy and that made me
put my situation in perspective and even
feel grateful I think that the only way
that we can overcome anything together
with really listening to our own needs
it’s turning to others because by
looking after them and receiving their
inputs we build relationships and that
reminds us so powerfully of how
connected and how similar we all are of
course no one is hopeful and grateful
all the time today three years in I
still face so many challenges if it is
common knowledge the face in the
therapies can be quite demanding no one
ever talks about the afterwards
once the chemo is over once the hair is
grown back everyone wants to assume that
you are well they make you understand
that it is urgent
going back to normality needless to say
there is no longer a normality my
normality now is ceasing the
extraordinary within the ordinary but
the truth is if no one ever talks about
the afterwards is because there are no
magic tricks or rules to face it
suddenly I was an orphan over routine
made up of dates therapies meetings they
had become familiar almost comforting my
body is a different geography now the
chronic fatigue left our months of chemo
he’s made even worse by the side effects
of the hormone therapy which steals my
thoughts my sleep it makes even normal
activities and effort not to mention how
superficial people can be whether they
are healthy or seek friends or strangers
sometimes their carelessness as the
power to anger me and he contracts my
heart in a painful spasm even though I
have known and overcome a serious
illness even though in the last three
years I have more than one cried all of
my tears for each of the super brave
warriors that I had to let go of forever
after all a wound is still a wound and
he hurts even on a body that went
through amputation even on a soul that
learned how to fly and so so I made a
decision and I decided that I was going
to become the super brave warrior of my
life and so can you
traumatic events can transform your life
overnight so how can I still of mine
unconditionally despite so many changes
might not have been for the best
what’s left in front of death sickness
in front of his cruciate in memories
what is left
besides emptiness and fear me I am
what’s left
I’m the reborn I’m the witness of life
it’s only when I try to assess where I
was at that he don’t own me despite
having been reborn roughly three years
ago there will still be so many ways in
which I might lose myself and then find
myself again and what’s more important
these two things may often happen at the
same time I can never take for granted
the knowledge of Who I am
it’s not true that others makes us feel
powerless hangry humiliated it’s we are
self who makes this possible it’s we who
abdicate
after all our power to stand by the door
of our soul and deny unwelcome people
the entry I think that there is a source
of immense joy that comes from our will
to learn repeatedly how to look at the
same things from different points of
view sometimes seizing the moment has
more to do with the moment they will let
go of that with the moment we embrace so
that we can respect their power and
slowness that we need or the others
might require sometimes if love is real
love he needs nothing else but to be
expressed now I get it
serenity should not be shouted aloud it
should be offered as a gift it’s as if
we turned on the light in a dark crowded
room it doesn’t just help us to find a
direction at the bottom of my darkest
times I learned the difference between
being alive and feeling alive and I
truly hope you do too whenever something
happens in your lives that makes you
feel powerless
cancer was the way that I had to go
along in order to cut the unhealthy
chains in my life and realize the true
peace can only come from the inside out
but it doesn’t have to be an illness
whatever challenge you might be faced it
confront it own it go all the way fight
the good fight because that crisis might
just be the greatest opportunity of your
lives
if I hadn’t owned my illness I too would
have probably been overwhelmed by fear
in front of that equation cancer equals
death butt-ass I decided to see it for
myself and ultimately trust only my
instinct it changed and for me actually
cancer became a rebirth the poet Gibran
expresses the way I feel by talking of
waking a dawn with a winged heart and
giving thanks for another day of loving
so do not be afraid if a hardship causes
you to request an everything you have
and everything you are waked on with a
winged heart and give thanks for another
day of loving thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
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