so I’m one of those people that like to
analyze other people I like to observe
their facial features vocal tones body
language and most of the time I can see
through personas remove masks and bring
truth to light yep I’m a therapist I
work in the area of engineering
relationships and human development and
for the past 10 years I’ve worked with
couples to master their potential see
most people think that love is all you
need for a successful relationship but
I’m here to tell you that it’s not it’s
what I’d like to call erotic IQ but I’ll
get to that a little bit later see
relationships don’t come with a manual
there’s no bachelor degree of love or
masters of marriage and let’s face it
most of us haven’t had great examples to
go by either right now we fall in love
we get married and we think we’re going
to live happily ever after till death do
us part
but it generally doesn’t work that way
does it we are constantly surrounded by
love constantly it’s everywhere we go we
see it in the movies we watch the song
lyrics that we listen to it’s everywhere
the internet social media so it makes us
wish for it we’d live for it we long for
it so love is set in our minds to be a
certain way in effect we’re programmed
from childhood so that as adults we hope
that it plays out like a Disney movie
see if we were Greek there are seven
different types of love in Italian
there’s over 10 different ways to say it
in French over 15 but in English just
one we use the same word to describe how
we feel towards our partner as well as
how we feel towards our morning
Melbourne latte but let’s be honest the
emotions around love are not only
temporary but can be explained by basic
science what we call moods or feelings
science calls neuro chemicals sexual
drive is dopamine and pheromones
romantic love is oxytocin and serotonin
and once attachment kicks in it’s
bye-bye sanity
[Laughter]
so the future of love isn’t looking very
promising if anything the social
conditioning of love is now also a
global problem
50% of marriages are ending in divorce
divorce is costing the Australian
economy 14 billion dollars a year in the
u.s. it’s 112 billion dollars a year
workplace productivity decreases
significantly when there’s problems at
home that in turn affects the economy
and those same problems contribute to
what the World Health Organization
States is going to be the leading cause
of disability worldwide depression the
failure of love in itself is a
multi-billion dollar industry so the
future isn’t looking promising for
relationships but there is something we
can do about it so let me tell you a
little bit about erotica IQ so erotic IQ
isn’t about sex arousal excitement no
its intelligence brought into our
attitudes our aptitudes our perceptions
our projections around how we think
relate and behave in our relationships
it’s a system a spectrum of cultivating
a relationship so that it’s at its
optimal best so how does erotic IQ work
the foundations lie in reverse
engineering what Jung calls the shadow
and what ray calls the body armor the
shadow is that unconscious deeper part
of yourself that still holds on to past
memories resentments disappointments
mistakes and failures that in turn
become part of your current attitudes
and behaviors in relationships so for
example you may have been in a
relationship years ago that ended maybe
because of some sort of betrayal you
think you’re over it’s done and dusted
but today it still shows up as major
trust issues the body armor is the
physical manifestation of emotions
related to that shadow self sometimes
appearing as an unexplainable pain a
psychosomatic
symptom or an emotional blockage so once
you’ve worked through the baggage that
you’re carrying and you’ve moving your
way up at the erotic IQ spectrum you
come to a clean slate so you can begin
again here you can start to reprogram
yourself with new ways of connection
through intimacy and learning new ways
of passion and desire for one another
while still maintaining the safety and
the security of your relationship and
from here as you progress higher up the
erotic IQ spectrum you enter into the
advanced levels now these advanced
levels on the erotic IQ spectrum is a
type of symbiosis it’s called the
symbiotic flow State so when you’re in
the symbiotic flow State neuroscience
calls it neuro synchronicity physics
calls it quantum entanglement you may
call it being on that same wavelength
now this brings your relationship to
being at its optimal best and when your
relationship is at its best you’re
amongst the happiest people in the world
but what’s most exciting is that from
here erotic IQ goes that one step
further than flow States entering into
what’s called the plateau experience the
plateau experience as coined by Maslow
and Mazda called it a transcendent state
which is always turned on so unlike flow
state where you go in and out of peak in
altered states when you enter the
plateau experience your optimal self is
maintained and sustained and when
synchronized in with your partner your
relationship lifts up to be at its
supreme best so the Douro plasticity of
the brain means that identity is not
hardwired we can take the plunge into
mastering this human potential we can
make a change
we can evolve our relationships to be at
its supreme best erotic IQ is an
evolution of love this is the future
this is in itself a revolution so let’s
buy a hack into our own biotechnology
and bring our relationships to be
successful once again and in flat
intelligence be the primary core value
of your relationship let’s do this for
ourselves let’s do this for the future
generations let’s do it for the world
because erotic IQ has never been as
important or as needed as it is today [Applause]