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How a Social Worker got me through my difficult teenage time | Lynne Anderson | TEDxBlythswoodSquare


okay so today I am a principal teacher
and I’ve been a foster carer and have
been a member of the children’s panels
but I’m also and as a child who doesn’t
go to school as a child whom many
children’s panels were held for and I
had to be looked after away from home
and it would be much more comfortable
for me today to talk to you about some
of the stories that I’ve heard as an
adult about children our most vulnerable
children and Scotland today and I
probably prefer to do that but I’m going
to be brief because those stories aren’t
Mac stories they’re confidential stories
many of them and so I’m gonna share with
you my story and the hope that I can get
voice to some of Scotland’s most
vulnerable children today so this is my
dad he was underneath me as you could
see and just shortly after to be made a
chief petty officer he was killed in a
car accident when he was 27 years old
and he left my mom with her two sisters
suddenly a widow at the age of 20 when
they need it over to a four year old and
she was five months pregnant with me at
the time she said that when the
policeman came to tell her that he died
she knew instantly as soon as she opened
the door and she slept on the wall and
then collapsed and and she suffered
greatly from our mental health watch you
eat up and decorate my childhood as a
massive impact on for my father’s death
and she herself had had many adverse
childhood experiences and her parents
were both alcoholics and she’d seen
terrible domestic abuse and I know that
she wanted it to be different for us and
our mental health didn’t really allow
that to be so after my dad died she was
provided for it financially very well
and she was quite a job the countryside
and my name is their most we have hate
being outdoors being in fields and clear
and things but I was also very
she would cry for hours scream at God
and sometimes as a child I would comfort
heart and other times I would just play
in the background in my air hits memory
pays off and this is my alias alias
clamonade obviously maybe steer for a
playwright is one of those when doors
and standing on the edge of that
conservatory roof believe him that I
could fly and standing on the edge a
Muslim had enough sense to know that
maybe I couldn’t fly but you know sans
me of thinking and looking I think you
looking at the board can help me you can
do it and you have flapped my arms and I
jumped and obviously I wanted and their
choir band below and I’m not entirely
sure but that convinced me that I
couldn’t fly but I never tried it again
and we just just to be safe and so we
moved around a lot and we didn’t see in
that house for long and it was always
kind of a bit of a feast or famine there
would be no food in the house but my mum
would put in a taxi and teeka’s to
register on there won’t be any clean
clothes so we were just gonna buy some
more and and obviously you know that
quark with you and her erratic spend
them access to easy day make their
mortgage turned them to be mortgage
which turned into having just enough
money to buy a small flat and we’ve seed
in that small flat for him I think those
movie about eat at the time and it never
had any carpets that never had finished
Wharton Dinkley getting depleted and my
mom had put a brand-new kitchen end but
when they join her found out that he
wasn’t going to get paid for the day’s
to the job I can intercede half-finished
we had like a washing machine that was
unplumbed that just sat in the middle of
the kitchen the whole thing was deep
thing it will take the gas called work
days and like that and you know as an
eight-year-old act to accord and take it
in the living room and there was a pot
of paint so I painted clogs and so it
was half past blue and half peach
because it wasn’t enough pin and I
wasn’t even like the street wall it was
and moving it and but I don’t that came
in social work soon became involved
because and even the lyrics by my no
attendance at school my mother she and
that tame it our mental health really
depth and she slept a night of
delusional thinkin and it tames she
seemed to have lost all touch with
reality she affects II don’t ground
ideas of inventions that she would P
tend to be able to get as out of our
circumstances but by that time we were
living on benefits our faith also
stopped rains Meredith any comfort and
then she would turn on her part anger
heavenward and at night she would pray
that we would week update and I would
try to reason with as a child and tell
her not to spend her money on Pink’s and
spend on food instead and she would see
to me who’s putting you up to seeing
that is it the social workers payin you
because it all against us and havin no
Wednesday inter mental health
difficulties she we weren’t she wasn’t
able to really get any help for that and
the professionals and family members
have been around when they would access
mental health services they would say
she needs to be able to ask for help or
you know if she doesn’t come forward to
ask for help then there should be
nothing that we can do she would more
often taken I angry rants with anyone
that would calm me there and I felt like
it was my responsibility to to look
after her and to hide oh really and I
felt like I had to hate to so look at
that time my mum was totally incapable
of me and even our most basic needs and
we didn’t have a washing machine so I
would wash pools and the same coin in
the bath until one day she scooped
everything up put it in black bags and
took it to the laundry but it never came
back because it was never enough money
to get it back so I think had about
three go into the cause like a black
quarantine jumper and at that point I
stopped going to school all together and
I realized a week-to-week
our benefits would peel on a Tuesday and
around Saturday the electricity would
run out so when’s the wedding once so
it’s been you know a few days
huddled under the blanket just called
too hungry and we’re waiting for Tuesday
to come around again it was the same
with food can I run a remembered one
swings I attend the Kaddatz and will
connect with one of these old-fashioned
tin openers and eating the carrot so at
the 10:00 until there was there was no
food in the house apart from what came
in on the Tuesday and which never really
seemed to last I remember twice actually
feeling in the Congo and June in that
time I was totally isolated and we never
left the house nor would hesitate and I
don’t know how long we left like that
but looking back Social Work reports
there was a PDA Twitter I was out school
together first three months and that
connect seems to fit the timeline its
look like from the Social Work reports
that they had some idea that what was
going on but not the full extent of it
and services were just slow-moving and
they weren’t talking to each other
Eli’s equations that there’s no reason
your mind about you know where was
everybody and I have those questions too
but you know I I don’t I don’t I don’t
believe people I guess I just realized
how deep the collapse can be and I also
realize how damaging it can be to remove
children from home sometimes I cannot
equate from that as well typically
forget all and I kept my head my
difficulties hidden and claimed really
school anyway I managed to do that and I
was always a child was no gem care nor
dinner money never have been eight
things and I can remember it’s the dog
to my shoes and so I cut the strap off
it and pretended they’re worse luck once
bad you know surely probably could have
messed up and I can’t really recall any
conversations with teachers and about
you know concerned teachers but I’m not
sure we do really appreciate them anyway
I can remember one D being in my class
doing some math and the stomach was he
can and actually my vision was blurred
because I was so hungry and my teacher
and my head teacher was standing at the
door and they were looking at my
donation and I was terrified that they
were talking about me I just felt so
ashamed
hungry and I didn’t it needed to be a
secret at Farpoint to me so other than
getting lots of rose for not having my
dinner money I felt like and my mind I
was doing a really good job of keeping
my secret there unless there that skill
quite abruptly because one day when I
was walking home I came home and
everything was piled up at the front of
our house and like for a bonfire a lot
of things and my friend said to me
that’s your house there’s no rule that
it’s not my house gonna ran off another
direction and but that was the day that
our host was repossessed we were we
weren’t affected he didn’t meet homeless
and I think after that we went to see
with relatives on and off but mom’s
mental health and always a big day for
would argue weave seeds in a tent for a
couple of dates we season a car for a
couple days and then we phoned our E and
to the system and I remember being taken
to a homeless shelter with what I’m
presuming was maybe a homeless like I
was an officer at that time and she sure
does round and it was assured
accommodation and I just felt terrified
thinking that I was going to have to
look after my mom in this environment
with all these strangers and how could
how could I hate a mental health
difficulties fear and aberrant looking
down on with her tail on the floor that
was about character as we walked in the
kitchen I just wish that the tears and
the imposing officer she looked at me
and she looked at my mom and she said
why she crying
and then she went on to explain the
consequences of becoming making
ourselves intentionally homeless and if
we didn’t accept that what would happen
and in my mind’s eye lady she had on a
can identity badge in a line yard and I
don’t know why and I remember that but I
do remember what early despise and her
and for the coldness that I perceived
from her and so we were avenged
anyhow we were eventually Newhouse this
isn’t fact this is in the area that we
wear these like watch links that possess
was after they were refurbished and but
this is similar to query house and it
was before the refurbishment so I don’t
think that you know any the peers were
high on their pencils agenda that tame
saw you know the paint was peeling there
was boarded up when doors and there’s a
neighbor that would still rob I showed
from the front from perfect worthwhile
it would just be y-you know on the front
and the course was just covered in
graffiti
you knew that the puddles why don’t mean
what are you know by the smell I was the
nsaids of the house wasn’t much better
than what the bathroom and the kitchen
was black with mold and what do they
store but from everybody but we didn’t
have any fire pets and so at that point
I didn’t feel like I could fly anymore I
felt like one of the pieces of rubbish
that had been thrown out with one of the
windows and no it wasn’t long before I
made some friends and I stood over the
house as much as possible to just try
and be away from my mom and and hurt the
mental health issues and now I would say
that there were the wrong sort of frames
because you know like me they had their
stories and you know maybe I was our own
frame for them if you want to look at it
like that and we’re all just mind
blessed just can i respondent air our
circumstances again we went around in
big groups and sometimes Stealer own a
small drank did other things went to
empty houses on burton parks and just
basically dead as we please i think the
official term is that we were out west
parental control and it was worn way
that was scary but you were to be honest
that was also exciting and stolen and
kind of hard to be coming from an age of
twelve I picked up some charges for
faith theft and vandalism and along with
me in non-attendance of school they were
dealt with through the
children’s hidden system and so they
were permanently attached to my raincoat
and a remember at that time having that
explained to me and I could not have
cared lanes that absolutely meant
nothing to me
and but the first time that I felt that
implications of that was when I had a
conversation with the faculty and the
Dean of the Faculty of Education about
university might wants to develop you to
be a teacher so those conversations keep
having a half-pay never to have a PPG or
something and I don’t know that I’m not
comfortable but you know they’ve lost
their sting they’re just kind of
reminded of we like in throwing it and I
mean back then I think I was just one of
these you know totally disengaged you
know and just you take dressed just
completely and you know without hope I
was without hope twice I made the
ultimate cry for help
during my teenage years once
half-heartedly and once was real and 10
and I don’t remember having any contact
with children’s mental health services
apart from once that they’d have
persecuted my hospital bed and and I
just even have tidied up abuse and she
must have took me at my word and I never
saw her or anyone else like Vivian and I
know that today there’s massive issues
around children access and mental health
services that seems to be the see
eventually family may precepting and I
went to live with him and I was 15 it
was just after my prelim exams and those
results were hadn’t been s feel so they
were as bad no boards or donations at
that point and but 11 was mine Ian on
call it you know it’s a long story but
and it had a dramatic can a profound
effect on me finally having Recife the
police and I’ve studied really hard over
the next couple of months and for my
exams I managed to get enough to be able
to go on and do the hires but him
to see my biology teacher and asking her
if I could steal to the hires and she
just brushed hurt what happened and then
but then you know she pulled a bath and
she was came to attend she said I could
start the course but only if I’ve got
big needs and you know managed to do
that I’ve got four good hires and went
on to university in the fall when yeah
when I hear Suzanne zedek talk about and
that will never solve their treatment
gap until we solve the connection gap
that really deeply resonates with me and
I think often about how we can make
schools more natural and places where
we’re not dogged lis obsessed with a ten
minute and literacy and give listen and
just is that by way of you know some up
and some suggestions and first I guess I
want to talk about heart it would be
much easier for me to stand here and
there were very self-righteous and
indignant talk and about you know fueled
by my nine-year-old self standing with
that homeless officer you know standing
with her when you are doing except no I
read a line yard people and I’m working
an imperfect system in the same way that
she was and it’s really easy to throw
stones at people who work in an
imperfect system but what a well see I
think that the difficulties are days is
when we stop question in that system and
we allow ourselves to treat people as
others so would see do something radical
and open your heart to these children
consider them as your own children and
then they’re the solutions become
perfectly clear that’s how I felt when
halfway or to foster the child that I’d
worked with and once we considered them
as their own we will you know move
heaven and earth if we can but you know
lofty ideals they aren’t enough for us
to not let down our most vulnerable
children I’ve learned that it really
does take a village especially with our
with our vulnerable children
but once we achieve a shared vision and
I think it needs to be
to eat in fact at every level and so
that we don’t slip into the safety of
cynicism again people a little bit of a
taste of some of the barriers to system
eight systemic change recently whereas I
preached on an association with a
politician and we are I was taking a
site by one of the audience members for
them to explain to me that the politics
of whatever my comment at home and took
that slap on the wrist and I thought
well it means say it’s what she said if
I was to step into the system to the
party lane and close my eyes to all the
children who wouldn’t need but my
nine-year-old self doesn’t care about
politics she just wants someone to new
get their time and open this team last
year a lot of beverage she stood on a
stage like this and she M she was a kid
experienced adult and she called for
change and she passionately dead saw and
she said that what she thought needed to
happen amounted to a revolution and as a
foster care machina and I came across
the fees and a rational advocate and the
idea that every child needs one and and
when coming from the starting point of
what a child needs calling for a change
in pointing out the limitations of
systems are soon changed and inflexible
can feel irrational but the change is
needed they would just be too radical
but we all need to get it if we engage
our hearts consider these children as
our own ignore the politics I think will
join with RO water beverage and call for
a revolution you see every child starts
out believing that they can fly until we
teach them that we can so let’s join together and help
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