[Applause]
who here’s a high-fiber who just gives a
thumbs-up
are you the hugger or in the huggy
do you give the high-fives or do you
receive them did you initiate the do
your friends well I have a confession I
have a really big problem too big almost
okay
I am needy I cry a lot and I can’t stand
being cut out on any of these things
right let’s go back a little bit
I think this became my problem when I
was little my dad wouldn’t let me stay
home with anyone so I had to go to
daycare which was something I absolutely
hated this is probably a necessary
experience because it taught me can I
communicate with kids my age but at the
same time that taught me as a
six-year-old that what I wanted which
was hugs and ptosis and cuddles was
something that people who people would
judge me for it taught me to be afraid
of what I wanted and I know logically
ten years later that I should ask for
what I need as well as you know people
receiving it but I still harbor that
fear that I created for myself ten years
ago let me give you some examples and
the time so once I hugged my friends and
everything
but if this isn’t how their families do
things people are often rated
comfortable by this as you may have
noticed I am one of the twenty four
percent Hispanic students here at South
West Pacific school I mean only not the
United my friend group of mostly white
kids
although physical connection isn’t
necessarily universal and nineteen your
families
my experience with black culture has
been one that employs a lot
physicalities my family is loud and
talkative and verbal with their loved
use I don’t think the house about hug
and kiss for my mother and I grew up
believing that a hug could care of any
type of sadness even if my friends
families are loving and secure they
don’t necessarily have the same physical
connection that I do is my last summer
stands out as a very low point in my
life last year I broke my foot playing
tennis and it was hurt even more because
I didn’t get it treated I ended up
having to get surgery to get a bone in
my foot removed so for half of the
summer I couldn’t do anything without
the help of someone else and this time
of great stress I internalized my
problem I told myself that what I needed
to get better which was perfection the
company of mothers and rehabilitation
was not something that I deserved I told
myself that I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s
help or time let me ask you this at what
point in the history of humans did we
decide that asking people for what we
need was irrelevant and what point did
we as a collective group say that we
cannot express our affection for others
for fear of being judged when did my
yearning for closeness become a problem
it’s always felt this way and I want to
start a genuine curiosity and dialogue
because it doesn’t always have to be
this way
so yes I’ve talked a lot about my
personal problems how I felt like I mean
II have afraid I’ll be needy
and it’s like a comment in I mean you
just stop saying that word please
everything will be so much better she
just stopped or and I have to agree with
you
you’re right I think the solution to the
sleepiness issue is changing our
perspective on it I will stop me when I
stop seeing myself as such we need to
stop self sabotaging out of fear but
other people will think of us I want you
to think of something you want whether
it be smaller baby hug fresh a
relationship or ride home and just like
you’re so happy because yes you might
get it no but most of the times you will
get a yes and that is what really
matters we can’t hide ourselves from the
people we care about we can’t just go
along with idly when you leave the salon
I want you to have a clear view of how
you’re going to change the way need to
communicate when you connect with others
if you’re anything like me and trust
that all of you will have any point in
your lives I want you to trust yourself
trust that you know what you want and
you know what you need and you know what
will make you happy be confident and
trust me I know this is so much easier
said than done
do you have to be vulnerable and
expressing your love for people
vulnerable when you tell people what you
need but that will make you so much
better for all the times that you’re not
feeling this way but you have someone
that is reach out a hand to them because
sometimes articulating a plan for help
it was so so hard trust me my problem
isn’t just my own and trust me my
confession will be relevant throughout
my entire life I’m high maintenance and
I’m okay with it
thank you
[Music]
[Applause]
who here’s a high-fiber who just gives a
thumbs-up
are you the hugger or in the huggy
do you give the high-fives or do you
receive them did you initiate the do
your friends well I have a confession I
have a really big problem too big almost
okay
I am needy I cry a lot and I can’t stand
being cut out on any of these things
right let’s go back a little bit
I think this became my problem when I
was little my dad wouldn’t let me stay
home with anyone so I had to go to
daycare which was something I absolutely
hated this is probably a necessary
experience because it taught me can I
communicate with kids my age but at the
same time that taught me as a
six-year-old that what I wanted which
was hugs and ptosis and cuddles was
something that people who people would
judge me for it taught me to be afraid
of what I wanted and I know logically
ten years later that I should ask for
what I need as well as you know people
receiving it but I still harbor that
fear that I created for myself ten years
ago let me give you some examples and
the time so once I hugged my friends and
everything
but if this isn’t how their families do
things people are often rated
comfortable by this as you may have
noticed I am one of the twenty four
percent Hispanic students here at South
West Pacific school I mean only not the
United my friend group of mostly white
kids
although physical connection isn’t
necessarily universal and nineteen your
families
my experience with black culture has
been one that employs a lot
physicalities my family is loud and
talkative and verbal with their loved
use I don’t think the house about hug
and kiss for my mother and I grew up
believing that a hug could care of any
type of sadness even if my friends
families are loving and secure they
don’t necessarily have the same physical
connection that I do is my last summer
stands out as a very low point in my
life last year I broke my foot playing
tennis and it was hurt even more because
I didn’t get it treated I ended up
having to get surgery to get a bone in
my foot removed so for half of the
summer I couldn’t do anything without
the help of someone else and this time
of great stress I internalized my
problem I told myself that what I needed
to get better which was perfection the
company of mothers and rehabilitation
was not something that I deserved I told
myself that I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s
help or time let me ask you this at what
point in the history of humans did we
decide that asking people for what we
need was irrelevant and what point did
we as a collective group say that we
cannot express our affection for others
for fear of being judged when did my
yearning for closeness become a problem
it’s always felt this way and I want to
start a genuine curiosity and dialogue
because it doesn’t always have to be
this way
so yes I’ve talked a lot about my
personal problems how I felt like I mean
II have afraid I’ll be needy
and it’s like a comment in I mean you
just stop saying that word please
everything will be so much better she
just stopped or and I have to agree with
you
you’re right I think the solution to the
sleepiness issue is changing our
perspective on it I will stop me when I
stop seeing myself as such we need to
stop self sabotaging out of fear but
other people will think of us I want you
to think of something you want whether
it be smaller baby hug fresh a
relationship or ride home and just like
you’re so happy because yes you might
get it no but most of the times you will
get a yes and that is what really
matters we can’t hide ourselves from the
people we care about we can’t just go
along with idly when you leave the salon
I want you to have a clear view of how
you’re going to change the way need to
communicate when you connect with others
if you’re anything like me and trust
that all of you will have any point in
your lives I want you to trust yourself
trust that you know what you want and
you know what you need and you know what
will make you happy be confident and
trust me I know this is so much easier
said than done
do you have to be vulnerable and
expressing your love for people
vulnerable when you tell people what you
need but that will make you so much
better for all the times that you’re not
feeling this way but you have someone
that is reach out a hand to them because
sometimes articulating a plan for help
it was so so hard trust me my problem
isn’t just my own and trust me my
confession will be relevant throughout
my entire life I’m high maintenance and
I’m okay with it
thank you
[Music]
[Applause]
Please follow and like us: