family and I have driven the same path
to school and on our way we pass a
different elementary school that has six
crossing guards and bright yellow
jackets my youngest daughter rolls down
her window sticks out her arm and waves
hello to all six crossing guards and
they generously wave back he reminded me
of a recent family trip we took to San
Diego we found a carousel along the
beaches boardwalk my daughter and I rode
that carousel and every time we passed
her father waiting on the side she waved
with an enormous hello around and around
again and again and soon she was waving
to her brother Jude her sister Lyla the
other parents the children waiting in
line and the ride operator hi hi hi hi
hi hi hi hi hi when the ride was over I
noticed the families that we were waving
to made it a point to come over to my
daughter and say goodbye when I was
pregnant with my daughter I received a
call from the nurse Laurie based on your
latest blood work we’d like you to come
in for further testing thinking it was
routine and overly cautious sure I’ll
come in next Tuesday well the nurse
didn’t end that telephone call with a
goodbye rather Laurie I’m so sorry so my
daughter that waves to crossing guards
and carousel riders was born her name is
hope and she’s diagnosed with Down
syndrome and my daughter with special
needs brings so many amazing and
complicated elements to our lives it’s
an amazing journey
an unexpected element is this
overflowing of love and joy others are
more difficult her cognition is delayed
and her language is limited coupled with
her down syndrome she experiences
something called a Praxian when the
brain has difficulty planning out muscle
movements to form clear speech so i can
understand everything that hope can
understand everything that i say but i
have difficulty understanding everything
she says but when we see each other
after school and she runs to me with
full abandoned in her arms outstretched
and we hug I know what we are saying but
I did begin to worry if I can’t have a
conversation with my daughter how will
we have a relationship if my daughter
can’t have conversations with other
people how will she form friendships and
then I soon realized I was missing
something she was giving me that was so
beautiful the moment of a greeting she
did it better than anybody else and I
needed to up my game I needed to do
better for her so I learned about the
word hello hello is 150 years young and
thomas edison is credited with starting
our use of the word something spoken was
needed to say to the other person at the
end of the line of a new device the
telephone inspired by calling dogs
getting them ready for a hunt edison
suggested hello Alexander Graham Bell
the inventor of the telephone urged
everyone to say ahoy but hello stuck and
spread quickly through the use of the
telephones soon onto our streets in our
homes and in our communities historians
consider the word hello to be a social
liberator because it broke strict social
norms such as you are not to address
anybody unless you are formally
introduced first
and someone considered of inferior
status was not to address somebody of
superior status but everyone said hello
hello is democratic at the first
national telephone convention all of the
attendees and speakers proudly wore
their new name badges so how was I using
this radical word in my daily life I
began an experiment to look closer at
home I noticed there were times i did
not say hello and goodbye to my own
children and then Toni Morrison’s
beautiful words rang in my head do your
eyes light up every time they enter the
room my husband and I I loved our hour
long conversation hours and hours but
after 15 years of marriage three
children and two jobs sooner longest
conversations can be hello it was
eye-opening how much more in tune I felt
with my husband by just being more
generous and intentional with hellos and
goodbyes there were dozens more hellos
throughout the week parties schools
driving walking I began to notice how
many times a day I said hello and how
many times I didn’t but what does it
mean and how can i add more meaning to
my hellos when you look it up in the
dictionary it says hello a greeting when
you research hellos from around the
world it is a snapshot of our deepest
human aspirations I found they fell into
three categories the first one is peace
may peace be with you the Spanish Ola
Arabic Salaam Hebrew Shalom
the next category God is here the Hindu
namaste the divine and me vows to the
divine in you goodbye is short for God
be with ye and aloha alo share the
breath of life the last flourish do good
have a good day you are good Mandarin me
how gutentag Bonjour konichiwa many of
those words mean all three of those
things how beautiful to layer your
greetings I wondered if I could layer my
meetings I know my daughter hopes are I
hello and I see you and we are here
together now that is rare and special
and I love you my definition of hello
for my daughter hope and for you hello
and you are beautiful and this moment is
filled with awe and may this connection
ripple out to the world for good so what
will you define your hello you’ve
received a button that says hello and
our ushers are going to help pass out
sharpie markers and we invite you to
complete the sentence hello and that
might be true for you my button says
hello and you are beautiful perhaps your
definition is democratic spiritual
for me hello is holy it’s shorthand to
remember that this commonplace word has
profound possibilities so define the
word hello for yourself and try it for
30 days change the way you say hello
change the way you give it and change
the way you receive it recently one of
those crossing guards and the bright
yellow jackets after we waved shouted to
us she makes my day me too I know this
little girl that has difficulty learning
and difficulty speaking has deep
knowledge of the power and the beauty of
human connection and I hope this world
is a place that continues to say hello
to her her whole life and that may she
may receive the warmth that she so
generously gives so to close from the
bottom of my heart and as I learned from
hope hello
[Music] you