lady there’s your Eric Adams made maple
syrup I love you front row lady I love
you all
you all love me we love each other
that’s inaccurate they want us to be
good thing to do
better hurry up times flying by and I’m
spending my time looking from a jeep
keys
I got a Danforth pewter keychain to pack
detain all my Jeep tease it was my
mother’s died year and a half ago it’s
an heirloom I’m a Jeep keys lost them
five times yesterday can’t find them
wherever Jeep keys are they in the
cookie jack I don’t have a cookie Jack
should get a cookie Jack put him in the
cookies yeah I don’t have a cookie Jack
where in the heck of a Jeep keys ladies
and gentlemen a fireman Jeep keys I
gotta get to TEDx I gotta get to Ted act
I’m gonna call my friend to tow her
friends I can’t find nothing I’m looking
for my Jeep keys ladies and gentlemen
they’re not in the drawer I’m supposed
to put them in where my Jeep diesel I
came by my D keys I’m looking for my
Jeep keys while I’m driving my G they’re
sitting in there but he changed Anglin
back and forth
Kat’s looking up at me going you only
he’s flying by Obama’s great cuz he had
a stressful job no no because we knew
him first when he was 44 now he’s 56 the
guy that gets the shopping counts up in
Morrisville it the hen ffffff’ earns
grocery money the F is always blinking
he was 44 rob brown here he’s 56 now
gray hair now either getting chopping
axe is as stressful as being president
or 44 to 56 are the peak green years
talk about change Rob Apple is here Rob
Apple is it up to 600 million here 700
million 800 million in this place that’s
gonna screw up the village cuz
everybody’s gonna stay up here oh I
don’t like that I love it I love this
place up here I used to be 67 1967 I’m
sleeping in Stowe Hollow dreaming about
skiing up here dreaming more about the
chocolate cake with vanilla icing the
ladies at the Spruce cafeteria used to
make about 30 of them set out 65 cents
and they put them on those around paper
plates and put the cling film over them
and the cling film would compromise the
icing edges you know and you get that
cling film off you take that cling film
and there’d be three lines about the
side in the middle of icing and you take
your plastic spoon and you’d go down
take out icing right off of there and
you put that icing in your mouth and you
take our icing off of that fork and
there’d still be some icing left in the
back tines you save that for the chair
left up and you you take that you take
that spoon fork and you cut that cake
and it would make a noise it was so
moist three weeks ago I go to eat lunch
of spruce can what did I get
Oh a big bowl of Oriental bowl of
noodles and chicken juice and chicken
pints and vegetables and the thing was a
big Metallica debate then at night going
there you write the jokes in honor me
and it was AIT week I took my ball
smelled good sir and I say hello bill
AIG nametag I said bill gonna sit here
he said his wife eight-year-old boy
twelve-year-old daughter I sat down and
they were scared to me and I
I said bill you may have paid for this
place
but I’ll tell you you the wife and kids
better stand clear and I stand into this
noodle bowl cause there ain’t no golf
down right way for me to eat noodles out
of juice you know what I’m saying
especially with chapped lips and a
frozen man oh and the poor
eight-year-old boy he’s lookin to me
just the same way my cat looks at me
after I do a loud burp you know he’s
looking he’s like mom let’s go back to –
I’m thinking I must look like a smacked
behind in fact kid wants to go back to
Hartford not spend the rest of the day
skiing in stole he did stain he was
eight and he loved it like I loved it
and I change standing in the same spot I
park mom and dad’s 1968 Chrysler Newport
it was green puddle I was 16 put on my
frozen boots somebody’s laughing
backstage 41 years ago I progressed and
I’m glad I ain’t progressed because I
like it here not like this theater
beautiful people may say it though don’t
they they say uh who who who designed
that they don’t even have a backstage
can’t even do Oklahoma and I’m thinking
good who the frig wants to see Oklahoma
although although with weed being legal
now in Vermont that theme song of
Oklahoma makes more sense Trey there’s a
if anybody knew anything they cast the
real Vermonter is curly because he was
saying there’s a dull green haze in the
back for today oh there’s a dull green
haze in the back forty they’re my two
adult plants are high asthma kitty cats
are I’ve picked it and dried it and it’s
ready to buy me I always said legalize
dope always said it I didn’t always say
it but when I said something about dope
that’s what I said never smoke did true
never will probably I said then they
legalized it then I’m thinking maybe not
cause I saw you now have a lot of
old-time snow people here I saw a
novella on the street the other day 90s
looks great the news is written from the
Stowe Town Hall I said hi in about how
you doing pretty good man hope I’m a 95
year old husband Fred’s ain’t no mutt I
said annoying bushes okay era 95 year
old husband Finch broke his hip knees he
may arise I said no she said oh yeah
how’d you do that
oil rises up a ladder painting frets 95
broke his hip his femur I said no no
yeah I said how high was he she should
not do high it only had two bong hits
maybe think twice about legalizing doe I
think it’s a good thing you know now the
cops don’t have to pretend they don’t
know you’ve got a bag of weed in your
pocket you know me talk about things not
changing now one door down you got the
plate restaurant for you folks that
you’ve been here a long time used to be
the funeral parlor very beautiful
tradition I find the door there were two
big lanterns on each side of the door
there were always off til somebody died
true true
Roderick Stafford the funeral director
would put him on when someone died it
was a big deal people wouldn’t die for a
month mother have you come home at
midnight after a gig myself there the
lights on now you know you’re gonna know
who died you go home you get up early go
down the Mansfield garage where maple
fields is now and the boys be having
their five o’clock tea you know but but
but but you know a little bit of tea
they doubt you’d ask them who died and
they tell you I always thought even as a
kid the lights are on because the lights
went out I like that tradition now
American Jaime seat me in that front
window and I love it eating that stuff
and looking at the Main Street I grew up
hat and funeral parlor restaurant
changed saying people gather there I
steer clear of the digits demagogues you
know what I’m saying but its food to die
for there and I wrote all those jokes
and I ain’t getting paid head right
across to the you you know it as the
Helen day Arts Center beautiful to have
our and the library now are you said I
went to high school there did you people
know that you folks know that yes up to
73 that was Old Yeller it was yellow
we called it Old Yeller in the seventh
grade halfway through and then around
April we all walked up to the new school
back then High School Library the same
still a place I don’t ever want to go to
and not read in you know you come out of
the hollandaise Arts Center and it’s one
of the most magnificent sites you’ll see
in your lives anywhere is that Stoke
Community Church behold it quarter of 11
growing up and I mean this every Sunday
I’d ring the bell call people on now my
friend Chris last year he knew he’s kind
of new here he said I’m new here in the
way well I’m turning 60 what should I do
to celebrate my birthday you’ve been
here a while I said don’t sit on the
steps of the snow Community Church and
take it all in and see the passers-by
any did and he loved it and how can
thousands and thousands of people be
wrong who come from all over the United
State the world to take pictures of that
church and the steeple is how many feet
high 167 feet high the tallest steeple
in Vermont I love that place the
selectmen and a select woman of town
over the years it’s done a fantastic job
I say a lot of signs in the village they
need to be there but they’re not the
neon large signs crying
none you can you can thank them some for
that I will say some of the stole tax
payers claim it’s a crime they got to
no laugh there but I did not i live in
Elmore now I’ll tell you I don’t know
who’s in charge of this but one thing
that has not changed is the location of
the potholes they’re in the same
freaking place it was 50 years but I can
miss every one of them blindfolded I go
right around them you know you’ll get
them self-driving cars you’ll be all in
good shape firms know there’s fewer
farms you can bet that but I talked to
Dan Pike somebody talked to Paul Percy I
didn’t see Arthur Larry Morel I didn’t
see the Ricky sins but I know the word
has stories producing more milk than it
ever has ever
same-sized heard that’s key less food
key less phosphorus that is a good thing
and I say YUM don’t worry cuz every
every firm that we lose in Vermont we
gained 17 farmers markets oh Jesus
thank God for that ham and cheese and
wine and grapes and gall-darn
you know when you can call yourself a
fire me if your crochet windsock stripes
almighty you know is that you know
there’s a farmers market farmers market
yeah I went to it last year all the
booths are full of farmers market
farmers market people who are promoting
their farmers market that they ain’t at
you know that famous t-shirt says from
or towels and people I’m gonna make mrs.
Vermont more farmers markets than cows
and all our people I’m telling you on
Merton pike les Pike’s father his father
Carol farmed now Dan and the girls are
farming herd pikes 98 in April 20th if
you hear tell of them visit them if you
if you’re heading out of stone down you
go past the car wash I call it Dollywood
it’s a weird place and
a little bit further is a mailbox with
balloons April 20th stop in see Merc 98
oh legend you will be inspired to be
flying when you walk out of there when
he was 51
he was fertilizing this time of year in
the spring in the back 40 lost both his
legs took nine months off come back with
prosthetics gets up on the International
Harvester farms till he’s 96 uses a
wheelchair now that’s the truth he won’t
let you go to his door unaccompanied he
pushes himself up out of that chair and
pushes himself in the wheelchair you’re
sitting there going I ain’t worried and
then I was going to dinner remember when
it was cold wicked this early winter
early winter is called I had a date
knows it I’m going to dinner not to that
was a change right there having a day it
but I did an outcome Sonny and his wife
in a party and they said hey it’s
Sonny’s birthday he’s an old remorseful
guy he said Sonny happy birthday and
we’re heading down this restaurant and I
was in the back I said Sonny been cold I
said hey I kind of like the cold Sonny I
said don’t bother me as it bother you
without skipping a second he looked over
his shoulder he said I don’t like it but
I said well where I come from a
generation where when you don’t like
something you’re bothered
well we’re bothered when we like stuff I
mean we’re freaks you know anyway the
sunny demeyers is the the murk pikes
these are people that I bat down I stand
in deference to and I say if you would
please take time and stand yourselves or
sit yourself on these steps of the stoke
Community Church sometime and it bear
standing and sitting and not don’t all
go there at the same time you know
people be driving through town looking
all the up there go ahead farmers market
nobody’s standing and I say what I hear
people say oh you hear about old Joey
died but now he’s in a better place I
think we’re in he learned he lived so I
live in Elmore Vermont drops toe there
ain’t no better place I think I’ll tell
you this I lived a life and now and now
this is heaven for me I don’t want to
sound weird I see all you people all
around the town I love all of you and I
think it’s heaven here I think we have
something here in this bubble heaven
does heaven have latte art contests see
you later bye [Applause]
syrup I love you front row lady I love
you all
you all love me we love each other
that’s inaccurate they want us to be
good thing to do
better hurry up times flying by and I’m
spending my time looking from a jeep
keys
I got a Danforth pewter keychain to pack
detain all my Jeep tease it was my
mother’s died year and a half ago it’s
an heirloom I’m a Jeep keys lost them
five times yesterday can’t find them
wherever Jeep keys are they in the
cookie jack I don’t have a cookie Jack
should get a cookie Jack put him in the
cookies yeah I don’t have a cookie Jack
where in the heck of a Jeep keys ladies
and gentlemen a fireman Jeep keys I
gotta get to TEDx I gotta get to Ted act
I’m gonna call my friend to tow her
friends I can’t find nothing I’m looking
for my Jeep keys ladies and gentlemen
they’re not in the drawer I’m supposed
to put them in where my Jeep diesel I
came by my D keys I’m looking for my
Jeep keys while I’m driving my G they’re
sitting in there but he changed Anglin
back and forth
Kat’s looking up at me going you only
he’s flying by Obama’s great cuz he had
a stressful job no no because we knew
him first when he was 44 now he’s 56 the
guy that gets the shopping counts up in
Morrisville it the hen ffffff’ earns
grocery money the F is always blinking
he was 44 rob brown here he’s 56 now
gray hair now either getting chopping
axe is as stressful as being president
or 44 to 56 are the peak green years
talk about change Rob Apple is here Rob
Apple is it up to 600 million here 700
million 800 million in this place that’s
gonna screw up the village cuz
everybody’s gonna stay up here oh I
don’t like that I love it I love this
place up here I used to be 67 1967 I’m
sleeping in Stowe Hollow dreaming about
skiing up here dreaming more about the
chocolate cake with vanilla icing the
ladies at the Spruce cafeteria used to
make about 30 of them set out 65 cents
and they put them on those around paper
plates and put the cling film over them
and the cling film would compromise the
icing edges you know and you get that
cling film off you take that cling film
and there’d be three lines about the
side in the middle of icing and you take
your plastic spoon and you’d go down
take out icing right off of there and
you put that icing in your mouth and you
take our icing off of that fork and
there’d still be some icing left in the
back tines you save that for the chair
left up and you you take that you take
that spoon fork and you cut that cake
and it would make a noise it was so
moist three weeks ago I go to eat lunch
of spruce can what did I get
Oh a big bowl of Oriental bowl of
noodles and chicken juice and chicken
pints and vegetables and the thing was a
big Metallica debate then at night going
there you write the jokes in honor me
and it was AIT week I took my ball
smelled good sir and I say hello bill
AIG nametag I said bill gonna sit here
he said his wife eight-year-old boy
twelve-year-old daughter I sat down and
they were scared to me and I
I said bill you may have paid for this
place
but I’ll tell you you the wife and kids
better stand clear and I stand into this
noodle bowl cause there ain’t no golf
down right way for me to eat noodles out
of juice you know what I’m saying
especially with chapped lips and a
frozen man oh and the poor
eight-year-old boy he’s lookin to me
just the same way my cat looks at me
after I do a loud burp you know he’s
looking he’s like mom let’s go back to –
I’m thinking I must look like a smacked
behind in fact kid wants to go back to
Hartford not spend the rest of the day
skiing in stole he did stain he was
eight and he loved it like I loved it
and I change standing in the same spot I
park mom and dad’s 1968 Chrysler Newport
it was green puddle I was 16 put on my
frozen boots somebody’s laughing
backstage 41 years ago I progressed and
I’m glad I ain’t progressed because I
like it here not like this theater
beautiful people may say it though don’t
they they say uh who who who designed
that they don’t even have a backstage
can’t even do Oklahoma and I’m thinking
good who the frig wants to see Oklahoma
although although with weed being legal
now in Vermont that theme song of
Oklahoma makes more sense Trey there’s a
if anybody knew anything they cast the
real Vermonter is curly because he was
saying there’s a dull green haze in the
back for today oh there’s a dull green
haze in the back forty they’re my two
adult plants are high asthma kitty cats
are I’ve picked it and dried it and it’s
ready to buy me I always said legalize
dope always said it I didn’t always say
it but when I said something about dope
that’s what I said never smoke did true
never will probably I said then they
legalized it then I’m thinking maybe not
cause I saw you now have a lot of
old-time snow people here I saw a
novella on the street the other day 90s
looks great the news is written from the
Stowe Town Hall I said hi in about how
you doing pretty good man hope I’m a 95
year old husband Fred’s ain’t no mutt I
said annoying bushes okay era 95 year
old husband Finch broke his hip knees he
may arise I said no she said oh yeah
how’d you do that
oil rises up a ladder painting frets 95
broke his hip his femur I said no no
yeah I said how high was he she should
not do high it only had two bong hits
maybe think twice about legalizing doe I
think it’s a good thing you know now the
cops don’t have to pretend they don’t
know you’ve got a bag of weed in your
pocket you know me talk about things not
changing now one door down you got the
plate restaurant for you folks that
you’ve been here a long time used to be
the funeral parlor very beautiful
tradition I find the door there were two
big lanterns on each side of the door
there were always off til somebody died
true true
Roderick Stafford the funeral director
would put him on when someone died it
was a big deal people wouldn’t die for a
month mother have you come home at
midnight after a gig myself there the
lights on now you know you’re gonna know
who died you go home you get up early go
down the Mansfield garage where maple
fields is now and the boys be having
their five o’clock tea you know but but
but but you know a little bit of tea
they doubt you’d ask them who died and
they tell you I always thought even as a
kid the lights are on because the lights
went out I like that tradition now
American Jaime seat me in that front
window and I love it eating that stuff
and looking at the Main Street I grew up
hat and funeral parlor restaurant
changed saying people gather there I
steer clear of the digits demagogues you
know what I’m saying but its food to die
for there and I wrote all those jokes
and I ain’t getting paid head right
across to the you you know it as the
Helen day Arts Center beautiful to have
our and the library now are you said I
went to high school there did you people
know that you folks know that yes up to
73 that was Old Yeller it was yellow
we called it Old Yeller in the seventh
grade halfway through and then around
April we all walked up to the new school
back then High School Library the same
still a place I don’t ever want to go to
and not read in you know you come out of
the hollandaise Arts Center and it’s one
of the most magnificent sites you’ll see
in your lives anywhere is that Stoke
Community Church behold it quarter of 11
growing up and I mean this every Sunday
I’d ring the bell call people on now my
friend Chris last year he knew he’s kind
of new here he said I’m new here in the
way well I’m turning 60 what should I do
to celebrate my birthday you’ve been
here a while I said don’t sit on the
steps of the snow Community Church and
take it all in and see the passers-by
any did and he loved it and how can
thousands and thousands of people be
wrong who come from all over the United
State the world to take pictures of that
church and the steeple is how many feet
high 167 feet high the tallest steeple
in Vermont I love that place the
selectmen and a select woman of town
over the years it’s done a fantastic job
I say a lot of signs in the village they
need to be there but they’re not the
neon large signs crying
none you can you can thank them some for
that I will say some of the stole tax
payers claim it’s a crime they got to
no laugh there but I did not i live in
Elmore now I’ll tell you I don’t know
who’s in charge of this but one thing
that has not changed is the location of
the potholes they’re in the same
freaking place it was 50 years but I can
miss every one of them blindfolded I go
right around them you know you’ll get
them self-driving cars you’ll be all in
good shape firms know there’s fewer
farms you can bet that but I talked to
Dan Pike somebody talked to Paul Percy I
didn’t see Arthur Larry Morel I didn’t
see the Ricky sins but I know the word
has stories producing more milk than it
ever has ever
same-sized heard that’s key less food
key less phosphorus that is a good thing
and I say YUM don’t worry cuz every
every firm that we lose in Vermont we
gained 17 farmers markets oh Jesus
thank God for that ham and cheese and
wine and grapes and gall-darn
you know when you can call yourself a
fire me if your crochet windsock stripes
almighty you know is that you know
there’s a farmers market farmers market
yeah I went to it last year all the
booths are full of farmers market
farmers market people who are promoting
their farmers market that they ain’t at
you know that famous t-shirt says from
or towels and people I’m gonna make mrs.
Vermont more farmers markets than cows
and all our people I’m telling you on
Merton pike les Pike’s father his father
Carol farmed now Dan and the girls are
farming herd pikes 98 in April 20th if
you hear tell of them visit them if you
if you’re heading out of stone down you
go past the car wash I call it Dollywood
it’s a weird place and
a little bit further is a mailbox with
balloons April 20th stop in see Merc 98
oh legend you will be inspired to be
flying when you walk out of there when
he was 51
he was fertilizing this time of year in
the spring in the back 40 lost both his
legs took nine months off come back with
prosthetics gets up on the International
Harvester farms till he’s 96 uses a
wheelchair now that’s the truth he won’t
let you go to his door unaccompanied he
pushes himself up out of that chair and
pushes himself in the wheelchair you’re
sitting there going I ain’t worried and
then I was going to dinner remember when
it was cold wicked this early winter
early winter is called I had a date
knows it I’m going to dinner not to that
was a change right there having a day it
but I did an outcome Sonny and his wife
in a party and they said hey it’s
Sonny’s birthday he’s an old remorseful
guy he said Sonny happy birthday and
we’re heading down this restaurant and I
was in the back I said Sonny been cold I
said hey I kind of like the cold Sonny I
said don’t bother me as it bother you
without skipping a second he looked over
his shoulder he said I don’t like it but
I said well where I come from a
generation where when you don’t like
something you’re bothered
well we’re bothered when we like stuff I
mean we’re freaks you know anyway the
sunny demeyers is the the murk pikes
these are people that I bat down I stand
in deference to and I say if you would
please take time and stand yourselves or
sit yourself on these steps of the stoke
Community Church sometime and it bear
standing and sitting and not don’t all
go there at the same time you know
people be driving through town looking
all the up there go ahead farmers market
nobody’s standing and I say what I hear
people say oh you hear about old Joey
died but now he’s in a better place I
think we’re in he learned he lived so I
live in Elmore Vermont drops toe there
ain’t no better place I think I’ll tell
you this I lived a life and now and now
this is heaven for me I don’t want to
sound weird I see all you people all
around the town I love all of you and I
think it’s heaven here I think we have
something here in this bubble heaven
does heaven have latte art contests see
you later bye [Applause]
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