I want you to know I’ve been feeling a
lot thirty minutes ago is out my car
with a wife and I was just crying you
know you’re one of those divine moments
when you feel something bigger than
yourself right yeah feel that right now
they’re all a part of something really
big I just want you to breathe into that
this TED guys pretty cool at knee I
[Music]
don’t know who he is but man that guy’s
got me feeling for the last month that
I’ve known that I’m gonna be up here on
this stage all I can do is cry so he’s
got some voodoo that I want to know
about so whoever you are Ted thank you
[Laughter]
really for the last month I’ve I felt
scared like I felt terrified
I felt frightened terrorized was that in
the cart way no okay that was this this
month I have felt that I felt inspired I
felt so powerful and not like that you
going power you know but like authentic
power from the inside out
I felt that so I just want to honor in
this place feeling like I want to honor
being from West Texas and feeling
[Music]
I am the son of a bull rider yes I am
and I am up here feeling before you and
that is a miracle in itself and that is
the wind but I have been feeling and I
want to honor feeling in this place
because for so long what I did was more
important than how I felt the vision was
more important than the visionary the
hustle was more important than my little
heart I grinded and I worked and I ever
did and I struggled but not today
today I will be a safe place for my
heart it doesn’t matter I don’t give a
about this talk I don’t I really
don’t like I it is about my heart yeah
and I’m gonna stand for my heart I’m
gonna stand strong for my heart and I’m
not gonna bypass my heart and give
beyond my capacity and my capacity for
this talk was to sit up here and feel it
was to feel me and to feel you and to
feel the world
feelings healing y’all and there’s a lot
of healing happening inside of me it’s
been a lot of my life looking really
good externally but on the inside my
heart felt orphaned do y’all know the
definition of the orphan heart it’s a
heart that does not feel protected and
provided for it is a heart that does not
feel safe and secure and we in this
first world have had our survival needs
met many times over nobody’s leaving
here wondering if they’re gonna have
food and if you are talk to me we can
get you some food in our first world the
new epidemic is emotional abandonment
there’s a generation that’s speaking to
us that’s letting us know that emotional
abandonment is abuse – it is and I can
just hear my little West Texas
culturally programmed voice going oh
come on now you just gotta suck it up
you sissy why are you even talking that
abuse language no it’s the real deal
it’s a serious issue your heart getting
bypass to produce a result so that your
parents did not have to feel their
feelings is not cool not cool
right you performing your little ass off
so that your parents could feel better
about themselves and they’re identify
that’s not cool
we’re afraid of being afraid right we’ve
been scared to feel but today not just
me all of us we’re in this together you
can feel it right we’re taking a stand
for Humanity yeah we’re taking a stand
for Humanity and that our production our
performance our hustling will not come
at the cost of our heart and the the
outside-in methodology is done today you
hear that that approach can tell you a
little bit about me
grew up in Clyde Texas probably never
heard of it yeah outside of Abilene yeah
that big town of 3,000 people like I
said son of a bull rider and a beauty
queen we met at the Ector County rodeo
Odessa Texas and I just want to honor my
dad right now
every isn’t love you I’m so thankful for
you thank you for being relevant to my
heart and he hasn’t always been relevant
to my heart thank you for moving beyond
doctrinal agreement and into a place of
acceptance and understanding love has
changed thank you I was nine years old I
was playing with the 11 and 12 year olds
on my brother’s team it was kind of a
humble brag playing baseball Clyde
Little League ballpark it was opening
day I’m leadoff batter as a
nine-year-old with 11 and 12 girls did I
say that I was leadoff batter and Big
John Sean was on the mound John Sean
Young and the third-base coach gave me
the take sign and for some of you non
baseballers that means not not swing and
sure enough what did i do first pitch
yeah I swung popped it up catcher caught
it I was out and I slammed my bat on the
ground and I started crying my dad was
the first base coach
my dad said Randy dry it up and get your
ass in the dugout for some of you that
do not speak West Texan
dried up means stop crying
and hit home runs yeah so home runs I
hit grand slams actually the age of 17
was a international tennis player at the
age of 70 no one around in the main draw
of the US Open and at the age of 20 I
accomplished a dream that I had since a
little boy and that was to play in
Wimbledon and I did it that moment was
such a beautiful gift for me not because
of why you may think because it was a
real moment of celebration it was not a
real moment of celebration for me it was
a moment that all of my pain came out it
was a moment that I saw that the outside
does not fix the inside I got to see
that from 8 to 20 by passing my heart
over and over and over and over it
catches up with you somewhere and it
caught up with me that night and I had
to feel all those feelings and since
that day I’ve been on a journey of
feeling I’ve been on a journey of
healing just like all of you
very thankful for that day because like
I said it is a broken methodology the
outside in approach I feel like there’s
a group of people who are brave enough
to put down the hustle put down the
grind and really take a chance on their
heart don’t we all want to know if our
heart will provide for us right don’t we
all want to know that don’t we all want
to know that like can it really be this
good can it really be true and you know
what I’m just getting like a glimpse it
can like it can my wife she’s amazing
been together since we were 16 16 and 17
20 years I would have found her wherever
even if we didn’t grow up in the same
area I would have found you Jen every
turn we’ve been letting go right the
most tender impulse of the heart is to
let go it’s to let go when you want to
hold on the most what do you do do you
squeeze the bunny know you’d let go and
we’ve been a part of some really cool
stuff I’ve seen your pastor of a large
congregation growing congregation in
Texas 500 members as we started to
transform and deconstruct we’d let go of
that and if you want to know how to like
if you want to know how to shrink a
church you can just talk to me
yeah yeah I was pretty effective at that
what you do is you you stop the program
the programs and and and you stop the
four songs and a sermon and you just
bring everybody together to have real
conversations around their pain because
how many of you know that we grew up in
homes where pain as the enemy and I want
you to know that pain is not your enemy
it’s the denial of pain that has been
your enemy and I’m talking about
emotional pain it is not your enemy can
you feel that there’s liberation in
feeling all that needs to be felt
there’s great power in feeling all that
needs to be felt we were taught what to
dried up we were taught to be good girls
we were taught to what look good when
we’re in the grocery store don’t throw
that fit that is wrong that is
irresponsible and here’s what I want to
encourage you with be irresponsible be
messy like me really miss like
the hearts messy right because we know
what’s at the top
you can’t selectively open your heart
can you if you’re gonna open your heart
to joy and to bliss and to peace you
have to open your heart to pain and at
the top layer of the heart is what it’s
anger or surface frustration or anger
turned inward which is called depression
and as a society have we’ve been very
good with anger
have we been very good let me say this
have we been very good with feeling our
own anger have we been very good with
harnessing our anger and channeling it
in a direction what transmuting it in a
direction of love have we been good with
our kids
when they have an outburst no but it
changes today you can feel it right
we’ve become safe places for ourselves
and here’s what I want you to know and I
think the timer’s going down pretty fast
here have those boat you just feel
giggly this one a while I’m hitting that
spot right now I like you girl we could
break out this the holy laughter here
pretty quick I mean if you ever broken
out into some holy laughter oh yeah
that’s some good healing balm in it yeah
I’ve got a buddy that says Brandon if
you don’t lose your place more than a
couple of times you haven’t given your
heart so I just lost my place but we’re
becoming a safe place for ourselves and
here’s what I want to leave you with
like show up for you like you may not be
able to mend your relationship with a
parent but you know what you can do you
can come through for you you know the
greatest pain of all it’s the pain of
personal abandonment it’s the pain of
you abandoning your heart when you need
you most and I want to leave you with
this like like show up for you if your
heart needs support you be the best damn
supporter on the planet like if you if
your heart needs care man you get so
careful right like you just you just
lavish care on yourself if you need man
if you need a the feeling of abundance
in extravagance just be extravagant
about yourself here’s what I want you to
know your heart will always back you up
the hustle will not you will have to pay
the piper at some point but the heart
will always come through gang I think
that’s it
slams day thank you for having me yeah
lot thirty minutes ago is out my car
with a wife and I was just crying you
know you’re one of those divine moments
when you feel something bigger than
yourself right yeah feel that right now
they’re all a part of something really
big I just want you to breathe into that
this TED guys pretty cool at knee I
[Music]
don’t know who he is but man that guy’s
got me feeling for the last month that
I’ve known that I’m gonna be up here on
this stage all I can do is cry so he’s
got some voodoo that I want to know
about so whoever you are Ted thank you
[Laughter]
really for the last month I’ve I felt
scared like I felt terrified
I felt frightened terrorized was that in
the cart way no okay that was this this
month I have felt that I felt inspired I
felt so powerful and not like that you
going power you know but like authentic
power from the inside out
I felt that so I just want to honor in
this place feeling like I want to honor
being from West Texas and feeling
[Music]
I am the son of a bull rider yes I am
and I am up here feeling before you and
that is a miracle in itself and that is
the wind but I have been feeling and I
want to honor feeling in this place
because for so long what I did was more
important than how I felt the vision was
more important than the visionary the
hustle was more important than my little
heart I grinded and I worked and I ever
did and I struggled but not today
today I will be a safe place for my
heart it doesn’t matter I don’t give a
about this talk I don’t I really
don’t like I it is about my heart yeah
and I’m gonna stand for my heart I’m
gonna stand strong for my heart and I’m
not gonna bypass my heart and give
beyond my capacity and my capacity for
this talk was to sit up here and feel it
was to feel me and to feel you and to
feel the world
feelings healing y’all and there’s a lot
of healing happening inside of me it’s
been a lot of my life looking really
good externally but on the inside my
heart felt orphaned do y’all know the
definition of the orphan heart it’s a
heart that does not feel protected and
provided for it is a heart that does not
feel safe and secure and we in this
first world have had our survival needs
met many times over nobody’s leaving
here wondering if they’re gonna have
food and if you are talk to me we can
get you some food in our first world the
new epidemic is emotional abandonment
there’s a generation that’s speaking to
us that’s letting us know that emotional
abandonment is abuse – it is and I can
just hear my little West Texas
culturally programmed voice going oh
come on now you just gotta suck it up
you sissy why are you even talking that
abuse language no it’s the real deal
it’s a serious issue your heart getting
bypass to produce a result so that your
parents did not have to feel their
feelings is not cool not cool
right you performing your little ass off
so that your parents could feel better
about themselves and they’re identify
that’s not cool
we’re afraid of being afraid right we’ve
been scared to feel but today not just
me all of us we’re in this together you
can feel it right we’re taking a stand
for Humanity yeah we’re taking a stand
for Humanity and that our production our
performance our hustling will not come
at the cost of our heart and the the
outside-in methodology is done today you
hear that that approach can tell you a
little bit about me
grew up in Clyde Texas probably never
heard of it yeah outside of Abilene yeah
that big town of 3,000 people like I
said son of a bull rider and a beauty
queen we met at the Ector County rodeo
Odessa Texas and I just want to honor my
dad right now
every isn’t love you I’m so thankful for
you thank you for being relevant to my
heart and he hasn’t always been relevant
to my heart thank you for moving beyond
doctrinal agreement and into a place of
acceptance and understanding love has
changed thank you I was nine years old I
was playing with the 11 and 12 year olds
on my brother’s team it was kind of a
humble brag playing baseball Clyde
Little League ballpark it was opening
day I’m leadoff batter as a
nine-year-old with 11 and 12 girls did I
say that I was leadoff batter and Big
John Sean was on the mound John Sean
Young and the third-base coach gave me
the take sign and for some of you non
baseballers that means not not swing and
sure enough what did i do first pitch
yeah I swung popped it up catcher caught
it I was out and I slammed my bat on the
ground and I started crying my dad was
the first base coach
my dad said Randy dry it up and get your
ass in the dugout for some of you that
do not speak West Texan
dried up means stop crying
and hit home runs yeah so home runs I
hit grand slams actually the age of 17
was a international tennis player at the
age of 70 no one around in the main draw
of the US Open and at the age of 20 I
accomplished a dream that I had since a
little boy and that was to play in
Wimbledon and I did it that moment was
such a beautiful gift for me not because
of why you may think because it was a
real moment of celebration it was not a
real moment of celebration for me it was
a moment that all of my pain came out it
was a moment that I saw that the outside
does not fix the inside I got to see
that from 8 to 20 by passing my heart
over and over and over and over it
catches up with you somewhere and it
caught up with me that night and I had
to feel all those feelings and since
that day I’ve been on a journey of
feeling I’ve been on a journey of
healing just like all of you
very thankful for that day because like
I said it is a broken methodology the
outside in approach I feel like there’s
a group of people who are brave enough
to put down the hustle put down the
grind and really take a chance on their
heart don’t we all want to know if our
heart will provide for us right don’t we
all want to know that don’t we all want
to know that like can it really be this
good can it really be true and you know
what I’m just getting like a glimpse it
can like it can my wife she’s amazing
been together since we were 16 16 and 17
20 years I would have found her wherever
even if we didn’t grow up in the same
area I would have found you Jen every
turn we’ve been letting go right the
most tender impulse of the heart is to
let go it’s to let go when you want to
hold on the most what do you do do you
squeeze the bunny know you’d let go and
we’ve been a part of some really cool
stuff I’ve seen your pastor of a large
congregation growing congregation in
Texas 500 members as we started to
transform and deconstruct we’d let go of
that and if you want to know how to like
if you want to know how to shrink a
church you can just talk to me
yeah yeah I was pretty effective at that
what you do is you you stop the program
the programs and and and you stop the
four songs and a sermon and you just
bring everybody together to have real
conversations around their pain because
how many of you know that we grew up in
homes where pain as the enemy and I want
you to know that pain is not your enemy
it’s the denial of pain that has been
your enemy and I’m talking about
emotional pain it is not your enemy can
you feel that there’s liberation in
feeling all that needs to be felt
there’s great power in feeling all that
needs to be felt we were taught what to
dried up we were taught to be good girls
we were taught to what look good when
we’re in the grocery store don’t throw
that fit that is wrong that is
irresponsible and here’s what I want to
encourage you with be irresponsible be
messy like me really miss like
the hearts messy right because we know
what’s at the top
you can’t selectively open your heart
can you if you’re gonna open your heart
to joy and to bliss and to peace you
have to open your heart to pain and at
the top layer of the heart is what it’s
anger or surface frustration or anger
turned inward which is called depression
and as a society have we’ve been very
good with anger
have we been very good let me say this
have we been very good with feeling our
own anger have we been very good with
harnessing our anger and channeling it
in a direction what transmuting it in a
direction of love have we been good with
our kids
when they have an outburst no but it
changes today you can feel it right
we’ve become safe places for ourselves
and here’s what I want you to know and I
think the timer’s going down pretty fast
here have those boat you just feel
giggly this one a while I’m hitting that
spot right now I like you girl we could
break out this the holy laughter here
pretty quick I mean if you ever broken
out into some holy laughter oh yeah
that’s some good healing balm in it yeah
I’ve got a buddy that says Brandon if
you don’t lose your place more than a
couple of times you haven’t given your
heart so I just lost my place but we’re
becoming a safe place for ourselves and
here’s what I want to leave you with
like show up for you like you may not be
able to mend your relationship with a
parent but you know what you can do you
can come through for you you know the
greatest pain of all it’s the pain of
personal abandonment it’s the pain of
you abandoning your heart when you need
you most and I want to leave you with
this like like show up for you if your
heart needs support you be the best damn
supporter on the planet like if you if
your heart needs care man you get so
careful right like you just you just
lavish care on yourself if you need man
if you need a the feeling of abundance
in extravagance just be extravagant
about yourself here’s what I want you to
know your heart will always back you up
the hustle will not you will have to pay
the piper at some point but the heart
will always come through gang I think
that’s it
slams day thank you for having me yeah
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