my name is Jennifer Maldini and I’m
fascinated with funerals and this is
what I wear every single day absolutely
not
my nickname is the glamor Reaper aptly
called for my innate interest in the
funeral business but unlike that Grim
Reaper cloak I like to bring love and
life and laughter sometimes to the death
business today I want to share with you
a story that I’ve not typically shared
when interviewed rewind about eight
years ago I just come home from the
holiday of a lifetime in Cuba two bad
news she’d had a stroke several actually
me and my family had big decisions to
make a decision between life and death
me and my mom took her to the hospital
clinging onto her for dear life she even
had a little bit of food stuck to her
nose she was so innocent so vulnerable
once so full of life she just lay there
limp
me and my mom clung to each other as we
watched the lights leave her eyes she
never took her eyes from ours now let me
tell you that this little lady was my
best friend
she was my confidante I could have told
her anything in the world and she would
have wagged her tail licked my wounds
and encouraged me to go for a walk yes
folks I have been talking about my dog
does your perception of the story change
do you feel any less sympathy for me
thank you
some of you probably probably not you
but some of you probably even said or
for God’s sake it’s just a dog get over
us and I get it I do but for me at that
time she was my whole world
she was 16 she’d been with me through
childhood the terrible teens when you
think the whole world is against you all
the way through to adulthood in
interviews I’ve always refrained from
Arison between the loss of a human and
the loss of a dog so I buried my grief
and I’m not alone recently I’ve been
speaking to a few people who’ve also
suffered with that grief judgment people
who lost uncles who were like dad’s
cousins who were like brothers who felt
pained that they couldn’t actually fully
express their grief for fear of judgment
grief is uncomfortable enough without
that
added weight of protecting ourselves
from our friends judgment from our
family from members colleagues and even
strangers I know from Twitter but it
shouldn’t be like this who are any of us
to judge anybody who is grieving at the
end of the day loss is loss and grief is
so so personal a set of twins who lose
their mother are not going to grieve the
same grief is as unique as our DNA our
heartbeat our fingerprint this chain I
have around my neck
contains the ashes of that beloved dog
and I wore us I designed the jewelry
when I suffered yet more grief judgment
at the loss of my grandmother she’d
given me a miraculous medal which is the
holy medal for anybody doesn’t know as
most Irish grandmothers do to keep me
whole and keep me pure and so when I
lost her I wore it as my way to feel
close to her but soon I was a holy Joe
and the Virgin Mary and I was young so
much though I took it off so I created
this jewelry as a way not to broadcast
her I’ve got my dog’s ashes hanging
around my neck I don’t think anybody
wants that but just as my way to feel
close to whoever I’ve lost but for it to
be personal because I don’t need your
judgment if I lost my mother and you
lost your mother would we grieve the
same absolutely not because my mother is
awesome but seriously we’re completely
different people I don’t know what it’s
like to wake up with my great with your
I don’t know what it’s like to go to bed
with it at nice I don’t know what it’s
like to live every single day
there is no blueprint for grief sadly
I’ve yet to meet two people who’ve ever
grieved exactly the same so today I’m
asking you today tonight tomorrow next
week let’s just all go a little bit
easier on each other and just stop
judging each other thank you very much
[Applause]
fascinated with funerals and this is
what I wear every single day absolutely
not
my nickname is the glamor Reaper aptly
called for my innate interest in the
funeral business but unlike that Grim
Reaper cloak I like to bring love and
life and laughter sometimes to the death
business today I want to share with you
a story that I’ve not typically shared
when interviewed rewind about eight
years ago I just come home from the
holiday of a lifetime in Cuba two bad
news she’d had a stroke several actually
me and my family had big decisions to
make a decision between life and death
me and my mom took her to the hospital
clinging onto her for dear life she even
had a little bit of food stuck to her
nose she was so innocent so vulnerable
once so full of life she just lay there
limp
me and my mom clung to each other as we
watched the lights leave her eyes she
never took her eyes from ours now let me
tell you that this little lady was my
best friend
she was my confidante I could have told
her anything in the world and she would
have wagged her tail licked my wounds
and encouraged me to go for a walk yes
folks I have been talking about my dog
does your perception of the story change
do you feel any less sympathy for me
thank you
some of you probably probably not you
but some of you probably even said or
for God’s sake it’s just a dog get over
us and I get it I do but for me at that
time she was my whole world
she was 16 she’d been with me through
childhood the terrible teens when you
think the whole world is against you all
the way through to adulthood in
interviews I’ve always refrained from
Arison between the loss of a human and
the loss of a dog so I buried my grief
and I’m not alone recently I’ve been
speaking to a few people who’ve also
suffered with that grief judgment people
who lost uncles who were like dad’s
cousins who were like brothers who felt
pained that they couldn’t actually fully
express their grief for fear of judgment
grief is uncomfortable enough without
that
added weight of protecting ourselves
from our friends judgment from our
family from members colleagues and even
strangers I know from Twitter but it
shouldn’t be like this who are any of us
to judge anybody who is grieving at the
end of the day loss is loss and grief is
so so personal a set of twins who lose
their mother are not going to grieve the
same grief is as unique as our DNA our
heartbeat our fingerprint this chain I
have around my neck
contains the ashes of that beloved dog
and I wore us I designed the jewelry
when I suffered yet more grief judgment
at the loss of my grandmother she’d
given me a miraculous medal which is the
holy medal for anybody doesn’t know as
most Irish grandmothers do to keep me
whole and keep me pure and so when I
lost her I wore it as my way to feel
close to her but soon I was a holy Joe
and the Virgin Mary and I was young so
much though I took it off so I created
this jewelry as a way not to broadcast
her I’ve got my dog’s ashes hanging
around my neck I don’t think anybody
wants that but just as my way to feel
close to whoever I’ve lost but for it to
be personal because I don’t need your
judgment if I lost my mother and you
lost your mother would we grieve the
same absolutely not because my mother is
awesome but seriously we’re completely
different people I don’t know what it’s
like to wake up with my great with your
I don’t know what it’s like to go to bed
with it at nice I don’t know what it’s
like to live every single day
there is no blueprint for grief sadly
I’ve yet to meet two people who’ve ever
grieved exactly the same so today I’m
asking you today tonight tomorrow next
week let’s just all go a little bit
easier on each other and just stop
judging each other thank you very much
[Applause]
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