so fun fact about me I am adopted and
what makes my story my own is that I was
never really driven to have to find out
about my birth family I was happy I was
safe and loved and I knew in my heart
that my birth mother was a very very
brave and courageous woman it’s not
something people see about me on the
surface or necessarily know about me and
I’ve always thought about it as a deeply
personal thing and it felt I felt so
lucky that it was really a part of who I
was and it shaped how I connect to the
world in fact the only thought of
curiosity that ever really crossed my
mind was could this be my mom right for
those of you who grew up in this 1970s
Zsa Zsa Gabor was on television and I
occasionally would have the thought that
you know it could be a possibility
although I never really saw the
resemblance I have no idea where that
came from but it was a fun thought
another fact about me is that I have
built a career helping people present
their true selves to the world by
connecting with their heart and today
I’m going to tell you more about that
you see at just 16 years old I worked in
the accessory department at the bottom
of the escalator and I helped women to
complete their looks with just the right
touches it was so satisfying to me to
see them happy when they looked in the
mirror and smiled confidently at
themselves it gave me goosebumps I could
see clearly the beauty in them even
though they often could not see it in
themselves I had a real interest to
connect with these customers and story
after story the struggles were real I’m
not skinny enough I don’t have enough
money my kids are too little and the one
that made me the saddest I can’t take
care of myself now I have kids and a job
parents
pets and there’s no time left for me who
the oxygen mask analogy on the plane
taking care of yourself first was not
being applied to the daily lives of
these people all I could think about was
how these folks just put a big hole
please sign on their life I just wanted
them to let those thoughts go because I
knew they weren’t true I wanted them to
really truly feel and understand that
the way you were made is beautiful and
handsome I had a connection with knowing
that you are whole and enough just as
you are I really wanted people to start
from this place and to just get rid of
the thoughts that put them behind they
were already in the position as the
leader of their life so let’s start
there because that’s the truth one of my
most unforgettable stories of how an
openness to heartfelt change and
self-love can dramatically change your
life happened in a financial seminar I
gave a few years ago Mary approached me
after a talk much like this and she said
I’m a single mom of two boys she was
currently an executive assistant and
happened in the position for over a
decade
but she also held a part-time job just
to make ends meet I can’t afford to
dress like everyone else and clothing
really my clothing really needs to be
updated the way I present myself isn’t
the way I’d like but I don’t know what
to do off we went the next day to the
thrift store and for under $40 we picked
out bags of nearly new pieces that
instantly updated her look she started
to feel better and within 30 days she
was able to quit a part-time job because
she got promoted and it wasn’t because
of her Blazers and her pants but because
she stood taller she felt better and it
beamed from her heart
knew she deserved to feel connected
again to what made Mary feel more like
Mary and it wasn’t about the Blazer I
was going to put them in or the perfect
pencil skirt this was so much more the
reflection in the mirror should connect
with the person you want to be when you
are intentional and on purpose the
connection is one that is a combination
of who you are in the insight mixed with
a little of who you’d like to be built
on a foundation that is uniquely
authentic which is your power base the
research shows us some staggering data
and clearly we have a lot of work to do
according to these statistics which come
from the Dove global beauty and
confidence report 85% 85% is the number
of women who say that they opt out of
important life activities such as trying
out for a team or club or even engaging
with family or loved ones when they
7 out of 10 the number of girls with low
body self-esteem who say they won’t be
assertive in their own opinion or stick
to their own decision if they aren’t
happy with the way they look an 8 out of
10 the number of both women and girls
who feel some pressure to never make
mistakes or show weakness now
interestingly enough this female
confidence challenge is also described
as the impostor syndrome by Pauline
Clontz and Suzanne Ames now listen to
this women frequently express that they
don’t feel they deserve their job and
are imposters who could be found out at
any moment talk about a huge disconnect
from our heart they found that women
worry more about being disliked
appearing unattractive outshining others
or grabbing too much attention they say
the way a man dresses can say a lot
about his character as it turns out
attributes associated with dressing
nicely including confidence
sophistication and intelligence
translate easily into the office
environment according to the study
conducted by PR Newswire in fact 75% of
Americans think well-dressed men are
more successful in the workplace than
their casual colleagues and 22% of men
actually believe they would earn more
money if they only dress better than
they currently do men are also not
exempt from doubting themselves but they
don’t let their doubts stop them as
often as women do a hewlett-packard
internal report found that men apply for
a job or a promotion when they meet only
60% of the qualifications but women will
only apply for a job if she thinks she
meets a hundred percent of them what
stopped them from the start wasn’t their
ability but was their decision not to
even try this graph shows us that women
the good news is it’s awesome that women
gain more confidence as they age but
this is crazy evidence demonstrating how
real these hold please
thoughts are we don’t want to waste any
more time not believing that we’re not
enough right now we are always ready you
are always ready for whatever comes next
I can relate to having felt the emotions
mentioned above many times just like I’m
sure all of you because of the
connections I had made along my journey
my passion for dressing people with
confidence took me down the television
fashion path and when it all started to
unfold
as excited as I was I certainly felt
fears of doubt was they qualified was
they only that 60% certainly wasn’t a
hundred percent how will people see me
well I say the right things I hadn’t
studied communications in college I
hadn’t studied television I’m not a
hundred percent prepared
I felt like an impostor for a little
while I can relate to that but I wanted
it so badly and in my heart I knew it
was right I recognized that I needed
help to get out of my head and into my
heart when I began watching I started to
watch videos of Oprah Tony Robbins and
successful people on YouTube because I
wanted to learn more about them and I
wanted to absorb their wisdom I realized
that these very successful and
accomplished people were being judged
all the time and according to these
staggering statistics time is a-wastin
there were plenty of people that had
negative comments to share and seeing
these comments helped me to realize that
people are always going to judge and you
can never please everyone the only one
you should ever think about pleasing is
yourself and the only way to do this is
to make your daily decisions around how
you feel in your heart it is a journey
to being comfortable in the most
authentic connection with yourself
one where you live from your heart and
most importantly living in the moment so
you don’t waste precious time holding
onto the limiting beliefs that might be
holding you back I want to share a short
video from an inspiring woman to me
shawn killinger she is a successful TV
personality whose authenticity and
commitment to herself has attracted her
most amazing life so I’m legit up to the
ninth recording now nine times I’ve
tried to record this video talking about
your authentic self in under two minutes
and trying to figure out how to express
how one found
oneself it’s not easy so this is
probably the best manifestation
physically of how I feel about my
authentic self years ago since I work in
television I’m a host for QVC which is a
national home shopping channel and for
years I was a news anchor and was on a
reality show my former self would never
have done anything like this with no
makeup and having not showered for two
days my former self would never have
admitted that I have not showered for
two days my husband actually jokes that
showering is not optional and I disagree
I think it is home but I am totally okay
with who I am inside and out and that
feels really good so I guess that that’s
why I feel completely comfortable being
whoever I am in front of whoever wants
to listen because I guess for the first
time in my life I’m actually not afraid
if people turn their back or say they
don’t like what they see and I don’t
have any magic pill for how that
happened I can just tell you for me God
and brokenness like falling flat on my
ass and making bad turns in life or
trying to be perfect trying to be
someone else trying to hide my flaws I
would just say fear and being afraid to
be vulnerable is what really led me for
many many years to not having any idea
who I was and then even if I did know
not wanting to let it show and I guess I
would just have to thank God truly for
bringing me along and helping me to see
that actually all of those rough edges
that life was sanding off we’re kind of
interesting and they made me me and all
of my current and
and fears and weaknesses and
insecurities they’re probably very
similar to a lot of those of all of you
watching and it’s kind of cool when we
can all just admit that we’re scared and
that we don’t know really what we’re
doing and that we’re lonely because when
we level the playing field I don’t know
I think it feels good and I think it
brings us together
so my authentic self I would credit God
for a great deal of it giving me the
courage to let it all hang out and I
think I started really finding it
hardcore when I started really seeing my
brokenness as a selling feature and as
an asset and as one of my best
characteristics and not one of my worse
I hope any of that makes sense I’m sure
I’ll now record a tenth time but we’ll
stick with this one for now have a great
time everybody thanks John I
wholeheartedly agree with Sean and with
heart intelligence coach Gabrielle
Gonzales live your life from the
fullness of your heart and have no
regrets doing things passionately and
with love that’s the real secret to life
do this and you’ll not only feel better
and experience more love and joy in your
life but you’ll also help make this a
better world as a matter of fact your
life can truly blossom into the land of
unlimited possibility when you
consciously work on living from this
place every day and truly knowing that
you are whole right now I always say in
this world you’re only an email away
from who knows what and just last week
my life did a complete flip remember I
mentioned I was adopted well just last
week my daughter Alyssa asked me to
check into my ancestory account this was
an account that I created
I had my DNA done two years ago I just
wanted to determine my ethnicity to be
able to share that with my children lo
and behold I logged in and there was a
message from a second cousin forest who
is actually here today and just to think
over a week ago he was a complete
stranger he has single-handedly helped
me not only to trace my biological roots
but to find my birth father and half
siblings don’t worry there were a lot of
what ifs whirling around in my head but
I know that the connection to my heart
is strong and I pray the outcomes are
positive but either way I followed my
authenticity and I know I can handle
whatever this experience brings so so
far so good we connected with my birth
uncle last weekend because forest and he
uncle Steve both live in the Berkshires
and it was a magical moment that we will
never forget so there’s uncle Steve
myself my daughter Alyssa Forrest and my
cousin Dean the clearest message that I
have learned is that living your
happiest life isn’t about wealth or fame
or working harder and harder it is that
good meaningful relationships and
connections keep us joyful and healthier
beginning with love and connection with
yourself thank you [Applause]
what makes my story my own is that I was
never really driven to have to find out
about my birth family I was happy I was
safe and loved and I knew in my heart
that my birth mother was a very very
brave and courageous woman it’s not
something people see about me on the
surface or necessarily know about me and
I’ve always thought about it as a deeply
personal thing and it felt I felt so
lucky that it was really a part of who I
was and it shaped how I connect to the
world in fact the only thought of
curiosity that ever really crossed my
mind was could this be my mom right for
those of you who grew up in this 1970s
Zsa Zsa Gabor was on television and I
occasionally would have the thought that
you know it could be a possibility
although I never really saw the
resemblance I have no idea where that
came from but it was a fun thought
another fact about me is that I have
built a career helping people present
their true selves to the world by
connecting with their heart and today
I’m going to tell you more about that
you see at just 16 years old I worked in
the accessory department at the bottom
of the escalator and I helped women to
complete their looks with just the right
touches it was so satisfying to me to
see them happy when they looked in the
mirror and smiled confidently at
themselves it gave me goosebumps I could
see clearly the beauty in them even
though they often could not see it in
themselves I had a real interest to
connect with these customers and story
after story the struggles were real I’m
not skinny enough I don’t have enough
money my kids are too little and the one
that made me the saddest I can’t take
care of myself now I have kids and a job
parents
pets and there’s no time left for me who
the oxygen mask analogy on the plane
taking care of yourself first was not
being applied to the daily lives of
these people all I could think about was
how these folks just put a big hole
please sign on their life I just wanted
them to let those thoughts go because I
knew they weren’t true I wanted them to
really truly feel and understand that
the way you were made is beautiful and
handsome I had a connection with knowing
that you are whole and enough just as
you are I really wanted people to start
from this place and to just get rid of
the thoughts that put them behind they
were already in the position as the
leader of their life so let’s start
there because that’s the truth one of my
most unforgettable stories of how an
openness to heartfelt change and
self-love can dramatically change your
life happened in a financial seminar I
gave a few years ago Mary approached me
after a talk much like this and she said
I’m a single mom of two boys she was
currently an executive assistant and
happened in the position for over a
decade
but she also held a part-time job just
to make ends meet I can’t afford to
dress like everyone else and clothing
really my clothing really needs to be
updated the way I present myself isn’t
the way I’d like but I don’t know what
to do off we went the next day to the
thrift store and for under $40 we picked
out bags of nearly new pieces that
instantly updated her look she started
to feel better and within 30 days she
was able to quit a part-time job because
she got promoted and it wasn’t because
of her Blazers and her pants but because
she stood taller she felt better and it
beamed from her heart
knew she deserved to feel connected
again to what made Mary feel more like
Mary and it wasn’t about the Blazer I
was going to put them in or the perfect
pencil skirt this was so much more the
reflection in the mirror should connect
with the person you want to be when you
are intentional and on purpose the
connection is one that is a combination
of who you are in the insight mixed with
a little of who you’d like to be built
on a foundation that is uniquely
authentic which is your power base the
research shows us some staggering data
and clearly we have a lot of work to do
according to these statistics which come
from the Dove global beauty and
confidence report 85% 85% is the number
of women who say that they opt out of
important life activities such as trying
out for a team or club or even engaging
with family or loved ones when they
7 out of 10 the number of girls with low
body self-esteem who say they won’t be
assertive in their own opinion or stick
to their own decision if they aren’t
happy with the way they look an 8 out of
10 the number of both women and girls
who feel some pressure to never make
mistakes or show weakness now
interestingly enough this female
confidence challenge is also described
as the impostor syndrome by Pauline
Clontz and Suzanne Ames now listen to
this women frequently express that they
don’t feel they deserve their job and
are imposters who could be found out at
any moment talk about a huge disconnect
from our heart they found that women
worry more about being disliked
appearing unattractive outshining others
or grabbing too much attention they say
the way a man dresses can say a lot
about his character as it turns out
attributes associated with dressing
nicely including confidence
sophistication and intelligence
translate easily into the office
environment according to the study
conducted by PR Newswire in fact 75% of
Americans think well-dressed men are
more successful in the workplace than
their casual colleagues and 22% of men
actually believe they would earn more
money if they only dress better than
they currently do men are also not
exempt from doubting themselves but they
don’t let their doubts stop them as
often as women do a hewlett-packard
internal report found that men apply for
a job or a promotion when they meet only
60% of the qualifications but women will
only apply for a job if she thinks she
meets a hundred percent of them what
stopped them from the start wasn’t their
ability but was their decision not to
even try this graph shows us that women
the good news is it’s awesome that women
gain more confidence as they age but
this is crazy evidence demonstrating how
real these hold please
thoughts are we don’t want to waste any
more time not believing that we’re not
enough right now we are always ready you
are always ready for whatever comes next
I can relate to having felt the emotions
mentioned above many times just like I’m
sure all of you because of the
connections I had made along my journey
my passion for dressing people with
confidence took me down the television
fashion path and when it all started to
unfold
as excited as I was I certainly felt
fears of doubt was they qualified was
they only that 60% certainly wasn’t a
hundred percent how will people see me
well I say the right things I hadn’t
studied communications in college I
hadn’t studied television I’m not a
hundred percent prepared
I felt like an impostor for a little
while I can relate to that but I wanted
it so badly and in my heart I knew it
was right I recognized that I needed
help to get out of my head and into my
heart when I began watching I started to
watch videos of Oprah Tony Robbins and
successful people on YouTube because I
wanted to learn more about them and I
wanted to absorb their wisdom I realized
that these very successful and
accomplished people were being judged
all the time and according to these
staggering statistics time is a-wastin
there were plenty of people that had
negative comments to share and seeing
these comments helped me to realize that
people are always going to judge and you
can never please everyone the only one
you should ever think about pleasing is
yourself and the only way to do this is
to make your daily decisions around how
you feel in your heart it is a journey
to being comfortable in the most
authentic connection with yourself
one where you live from your heart and
most importantly living in the moment so
you don’t waste precious time holding
onto the limiting beliefs that might be
holding you back I want to share a short
video from an inspiring woman to me
shawn killinger she is a successful TV
personality whose authenticity and
commitment to herself has attracted her
most amazing life so I’m legit up to the
ninth recording now nine times I’ve
tried to record this video talking about
your authentic self in under two minutes
and trying to figure out how to express
how one found
oneself it’s not easy so this is
probably the best manifestation
physically of how I feel about my
authentic self years ago since I work in
television I’m a host for QVC which is a
national home shopping channel and for
years I was a news anchor and was on a
reality show my former self would never
have done anything like this with no
makeup and having not showered for two
days my former self would never have
admitted that I have not showered for
two days my husband actually jokes that
showering is not optional and I disagree
I think it is home but I am totally okay
with who I am inside and out and that
feels really good so I guess that that’s
why I feel completely comfortable being
whoever I am in front of whoever wants
to listen because I guess for the first
time in my life I’m actually not afraid
if people turn their back or say they
don’t like what they see and I don’t
have any magic pill for how that
happened I can just tell you for me God
and brokenness like falling flat on my
ass and making bad turns in life or
trying to be perfect trying to be
someone else trying to hide my flaws I
would just say fear and being afraid to
be vulnerable is what really led me for
many many years to not having any idea
who I was and then even if I did know
not wanting to let it show and I guess I
would just have to thank God truly for
bringing me along and helping me to see
that actually all of those rough edges
that life was sanding off we’re kind of
interesting and they made me me and all
of my current and
and fears and weaknesses and
insecurities they’re probably very
similar to a lot of those of all of you
watching and it’s kind of cool when we
can all just admit that we’re scared and
that we don’t know really what we’re
doing and that we’re lonely because when
we level the playing field I don’t know
I think it feels good and I think it
brings us together
so my authentic self I would credit God
for a great deal of it giving me the
courage to let it all hang out and I
think I started really finding it
hardcore when I started really seeing my
brokenness as a selling feature and as
an asset and as one of my best
characteristics and not one of my worse
I hope any of that makes sense I’m sure
I’ll now record a tenth time but we’ll
stick with this one for now have a great
time everybody thanks John I
wholeheartedly agree with Sean and with
heart intelligence coach Gabrielle
Gonzales live your life from the
fullness of your heart and have no
regrets doing things passionately and
with love that’s the real secret to life
do this and you’ll not only feel better
and experience more love and joy in your
life but you’ll also help make this a
better world as a matter of fact your
life can truly blossom into the land of
unlimited possibility when you
consciously work on living from this
place every day and truly knowing that
you are whole right now I always say in
this world you’re only an email away
from who knows what and just last week
my life did a complete flip remember I
mentioned I was adopted well just last
week my daughter Alyssa asked me to
check into my ancestory account this was
an account that I created
I had my DNA done two years ago I just
wanted to determine my ethnicity to be
able to share that with my children lo
and behold I logged in and there was a
message from a second cousin forest who
is actually here today and just to think
over a week ago he was a complete
stranger he has single-handedly helped
me not only to trace my biological roots
but to find my birth father and half
siblings don’t worry there were a lot of
what ifs whirling around in my head but
I know that the connection to my heart
is strong and I pray the outcomes are
positive but either way I followed my
authenticity and I know I can handle
whatever this experience brings so so
far so good we connected with my birth
uncle last weekend because forest and he
uncle Steve both live in the Berkshires
and it was a magical moment that we will
never forget so there’s uncle Steve
myself my daughter Alyssa Forrest and my
cousin Dean the clearest message that I
have learned is that living your
happiest life isn’t about wealth or fame
or working harder and harder it is that
good meaningful relationships and
connections keep us joyful and healthier
beginning with love and connection with
yourself thank you [Applause]
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