I am so glad to be here today to have
the opportunity to connect the theme
life as we don’t know it with one of the
current iterations of the movement to
end gender-based violence and sexual
harassment let me tell you about a girl
she lives in a world where she has the
same education as every boy she is not
judged by her beauty whether that’s her
body type or her racial ethnic identity
or her ability disability she has the
same sexual health knowledge that she
needs to make consensual responsible and
pleasurable decisions about her sexual
behavior about her choice to have
children or not she has the resources to
be a computer scientist or a physicist a
lawyer or a nurse a stay-at-home mom or
a professor she can make whatever
decision she wants based on her aptitude
and her capabilities she lives in a
world where she has access to clean
water a long life expectancy and
sustainable food sources no matter her
geographic location whatever employment
she finds she makes the same amount as
her male counterparts and both in her
family of origin and her chosen family
she is an equal and valued member this
girl lives in the world
as we don’t know it her life is routine
in the world as we don’t know it let me
tell you about another girl her name is
Kate in second grade she was lined up on
the playground asphalt playground
single-file line waiting for the teacher
to call her in sweaty exhausted from
some chase related game running with the
air in her hair and the shorts under her
skirt so that she could run like the
boys and still be dressed for morning
Mass fidgety and breathless she waits
she feels a tap on her shoulder she
his lips hit her cheek and cross her
chin as she turns coming face-to-face
with him behind him the boys giggle
hands over their mouths some buckled
over and laughter others surprised that
he went through with the plan stunned
for a moment the world goes in to slow
motion jolted awake by the teachers call
to proceed inside she turns and half
hits or shoves him Kate get out of line
come here
did you hit him but he kissed me well
that’s not nice but it’s wrong to hit
people sad and sullen he shuffles past
this conversation upset no doubt because
he really did like me and now with all
my second-grade fervor I hate him
leaving me apparently having done
something wrong
to deal with the consequences had he
asked would things have been different
maybe what I do know is that consent is
amidst the gaze of the jeering boys and
beneath the eyes of stained-glass Saints
at seven years old he already knew he
didn’t have to ask that was one of the
first times I and many other women and
some men could stand up here and tell
you stories all morning long about how a
girl’s educational space is disrupted
how her sense of self opportunity and
expectation of equality are slowly
shattered by tiny cracks that spider
across her life into fissures and
sometimes brokenness and that’s just one
space what of home the doctor’s office
restaurants public transportation the
gym church the locker room or the
boardroom for some women it is an
immediate violent taking of their body
and breaking of her spirit for others
it’s a slow and steady process no event
significant enough to know whether the
next comment joke incidents or dismissal
consent is a yes or no related to a
sexual behavior consent is an
affirmative and verbal permission to
engage in a specific behavior yes it is
that and consent relies on the power to
make that decision enforceable which
means you have to have access to that
power otherwise her yes or no is a
gamble of luck one that can have dealing
consequences so if we are to have a
requirement of consent for sexuality
related decisions or all decisions in
life
we need to have power and especially
when it comes to sexuality related
decisions that will require a
significant social and moral shift to
the value of women and girls not just
women like me
not just women in the United States who
are well educated have jobs have
families know all women all girls it
means we have to rethink from the bottom
up that being human includes the human
dignity of all of us that radical shift
will where’s results in a rebalance of
power a rebalancing of power in our
sexual and our gendered relationships
but also a rebalancing of power in our
education
economic national racial even
technological relationships that girl
that we met first she lives in a world
where consent is understood differently
consent is a capability rooted in social
power consents yes to educational
opportunity yes to diversity and beauty
in all its forms yes to a variety of
employment opportunities and equal pay
to daily life without the threat of
violence yes because she lives in a
world where her family her community and
of the world has decided to value 100%
of its members and hold those
accountable who do not it is a world
where communication is more valuable
than competition where sexual health is
more valuable than sexual
objectification where creative solutions
and a share economy are more important
than global banks and cheap labor where
clean renewable water sources are more
this girl lives in a world where consent
and communication
accountability wellness fairness safety
and opportunity our routine aspects of
life that is life as we don’t know it
but may someday be thank you all so much
[Applause] [Music]
the opportunity to connect the theme
life as we don’t know it with one of the
current iterations of the movement to
end gender-based violence and sexual
harassment let me tell you about a girl
she lives in a world where she has the
same education as every boy she is not
judged by her beauty whether that’s her
body type or her racial ethnic identity
or her ability disability she has the
same sexual health knowledge that she
needs to make consensual responsible and
pleasurable decisions about her sexual
behavior about her choice to have
children or not she has the resources to
be a computer scientist or a physicist a
lawyer or a nurse a stay-at-home mom or
a professor she can make whatever
decision she wants based on her aptitude
and her capabilities she lives in a
world where she has access to clean
water a long life expectancy and
sustainable food sources no matter her
geographic location whatever employment
she finds she makes the same amount as
her male counterparts and both in her
family of origin and her chosen family
she is an equal and valued member this
girl lives in the world
as we don’t know it her life is routine
in the world as we don’t know it let me
tell you about another girl her name is
Kate in second grade she was lined up on
the playground asphalt playground
single-file line waiting for the teacher
to call her in sweaty exhausted from
some chase related game running with the
air in her hair and the shorts under her
skirt so that she could run like the
boys and still be dressed for morning
Mass fidgety and breathless she waits
she feels a tap on her shoulder she
his lips hit her cheek and cross her
chin as she turns coming face-to-face
with him behind him the boys giggle
hands over their mouths some buckled
over and laughter others surprised that
he went through with the plan stunned
for a moment the world goes in to slow
motion jolted awake by the teachers call
to proceed inside she turns and half
hits or shoves him Kate get out of line
come here
did you hit him but he kissed me well
that’s not nice but it’s wrong to hit
people sad and sullen he shuffles past
this conversation upset no doubt because
he really did like me and now with all
my second-grade fervor I hate him
leaving me apparently having done
something wrong
to deal with the consequences had he
asked would things have been different
maybe what I do know is that consent is
amidst the gaze of the jeering boys and
beneath the eyes of stained-glass Saints
at seven years old he already knew he
didn’t have to ask that was one of the
first times I and many other women and
some men could stand up here and tell
you stories all morning long about how a
girl’s educational space is disrupted
how her sense of self opportunity and
expectation of equality are slowly
shattered by tiny cracks that spider
across her life into fissures and
sometimes brokenness and that’s just one
space what of home the doctor’s office
restaurants public transportation the
gym church the locker room or the
boardroom for some women it is an
immediate violent taking of their body
and breaking of her spirit for others
it’s a slow and steady process no event
significant enough to know whether the
next comment joke incidents or dismissal
consent is a yes or no related to a
sexual behavior consent is an
affirmative and verbal permission to
engage in a specific behavior yes it is
that and consent relies on the power to
make that decision enforceable which
means you have to have access to that
power otherwise her yes or no is a
gamble of luck one that can have dealing
consequences so if we are to have a
requirement of consent for sexuality
related decisions or all decisions in
life
we need to have power and especially
when it comes to sexuality related
decisions that will require a
significant social and moral shift to
the value of women and girls not just
women like me
not just women in the United States who
are well educated have jobs have
families know all women all girls it
means we have to rethink from the bottom
up that being human includes the human
dignity of all of us that radical shift
will where’s results in a rebalance of
power a rebalancing of power in our
sexual and our gendered relationships
but also a rebalancing of power in our
education
economic national racial even
technological relationships that girl
that we met first she lives in a world
where consent is understood differently
consent is a capability rooted in social
power consents yes to educational
opportunity yes to diversity and beauty
in all its forms yes to a variety of
employment opportunities and equal pay
to daily life without the threat of
violence yes because she lives in a
world where her family her community and
of the world has decided to value 100%
of its members and hold those
accountable who do not it is a world
where communication is more valuable
than competition where sexual health is
more valuable than sexual
objectification where creative solutions
and a share economy are more important
than global banks and cheap labor where
clean renewable water sources are more
this girl lives in a world where consent
and communication
accountability wellness fairness safety
and opportunity our routine aspects of
life that is life as we don’t know it
but may someday be thank you all so much
[Applause] [Music]
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