build the foundations of our lives brick
by brick step by step
whether that be our life choices in
general or in the shaping of our career
paths the defining moments in the
shaping of our career paths will be the
main theme of my presentation for some
that career path that life calling can
grow and one straight trajectory from A
to Z all mapped out in front of us with
very few deviations along the way if
that’s your case carry yourself very
fortunate indeed for many others life
comes to a crossroads when a choice has
to be made the head thinks one thing
wants to go one way the heart the other
and it can often take us in a completely
new direction another mode is when we
personally experience a life-altering
catastrophic event that seemingly
obliterates our life path and ignites us
to a true heart calling I’m going to
speak on the latter and share with you
my journey then the final moments that
led to that heart calling it’s often
been said that journey from here to here
is a long one from head to heart and
when they combine it can cause
monumental shifts in a life path now I’m
sure some of you have detected that tiny
a little bit of accent anyone guess
where from Scotland that’s correct
I emigrated from Canada many years ago
from Scotland I left behind a very
successful career there I was in the
investment insurance industry and at the
time I left to come to Canada out of my
company they had a sales force of 40,000
I was one of their top five advisors I
was at the top of my game
with the world at my feet all
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed I set forth
for Canada along with my wife and young
son to carve out a new future to
continue
building on those previous successes and
set forth on that career path well
within one week of arriving in Canada my
wife Barbara was rushed into hospital
with severe stomach pain
the hospital ran a battery of tests and
the specialist gave us the shocking news
that my wife Barbara had cancer cancer
in the kidney and told us they would
remove that affected kidney immediately
unfortunately though the cancer returned
it was never in the liver stage four
inoperable terminal within one week sort
of within two years of arriving in
Canada my wife Barbara was dead when
Barbara died it felt like my whole world
had ended my whole future crashed down
on me there was no solid ground believed
me anymore there was nothing left
nothing I was at my lowest law my
darkest stack
there was no way forward for me always
lost or so it seemed even my career
which I loved
no longer held any pill for me so I
began to learn more about grief and loss
and this actually began during Barbara’s
illness and the more I learned about
this the more I thought within me an
inkling a passion for helping others in
the bereavement field I began enrolling
in grief training programs I became a
certified grief support facilitator and
what I found was that the more I ran
these groups these support groups the
more I gave of myself the more I
contributed to others the bigger and
stronger my calling grew it began to
take on arms and legs of its own
until one day I found myself speaking to
a funeral pre-planning company this was
an organization that helps people plan
ahead and put their funeral wishes and
preferences and
during living years as I spoke with this
company and shared my story and told
them that it could help others deal with
their life affairs their life in death
matters and I suggested that they create
a position for me give me a platform
where I could present my story through
seminar
and they said yes when this and this
combined it can become an installable
powerful good and over the last 12 15
years or so I presented my story to well
over seventy thousand seven our
attendees mainly through funeral homes
healthcare organizations financial
institutions community groups at large
and what’s even more incredible than
that is that by being able to share my
story of loss through seminar and
enabled the attendees to get in touch
with their own life-and-death matters it
allowed them to articulate their own
unique life story and share that with
their loved ones and what they want to
be remembered for and the more that took
place the stronger my calling became as
I mentioned and what happened with that
is interacting with all those thousands
of people I realized that we all have
that story within us we all have that
unique story within us to share with
others and weari touched that depth
within herself when we accessed the
heart and listen to the heart mountains
can be moved and things move quickly and
speaking of head to heart take a look at
this slide when the heart speaks take
good notes great advice isn’t it great
advice I saw that as a function of a job
recently with my second wife I’m now
remarried my beautiful wife is here
today when the heart speaks take good
notes thankfully that is something I’ve
always done throughout my life so with
all those life experiences I’ve shared
with you
along with the ticket of goodness
throughout the years especially during
my grieving years led to the creation
and sharing of the bear story and really
to what’s got me standing here today for
the bear story in essence is about using
her own life experiences for good for
the power of good
basically contributing back to society
so let me share with you a story a long
long time ago in a distant land northern
like ours lived a bunch of bears and
amongst these bears was a young
courageous bear who took great pride his
ability to look after himself handle
himself all on his own
well one day I played rough-and-tumble
with all his little bear friends on the
edges of the forest they became
exceedingly hungry from other exemptions
and decided to go into the forest deeper
into the forest in search of food they
all knew the dangers at lot there the
nourish stories their elders had shared
of the big unknown beasts who resided
there who locked in the shadows on that
another side and all their exuberance
and youth though they discarded those
risks and still set forth well after
much walking in much searching a little
bear stumbled upon a beehive high up in
a tree all there are little bears
children delight is that Hiro scaled the
tree began to bring the honey back down
in sight they even brought a pot with
them to pour it into as he sat around in
a circle licking the lips in
anticipation of the great feast they
were about to enjoy when all of the
shadows appeared the big unknown bear he
moved Stanley towards a little bear and
swiped the Potter for the out of his
paws and split back into the shadows to
devour his spoils all the little bears
were stunned and upset
although no one said a word no one said
a word a little bear wanted to cry but
he swallowed that lump in his throat for
he had to be the bravest and strongest
of all the little bears hadn’t they
always told him so one by one all the
little bears got up and left a circle
her bear was the last to leave
continually biting his lip all the way
home
to stop the tears from falling it was
only one seat at home behind closed
doors when he knew no one was there did
begin to cry over his great loss that
night he cried himself to sleep
and the next morning he awoke ready to
fight another day came rolled on a nurse
bear stretched up into adulthood
with all the responsibilities that
entails he still continued playing
rough-and-tumble with his friends but it
took on a more serious note now they
took part in wrestling competitions with
bears from all the other parts of the
forest and unlike the tussles with his
friends before which you almost always
won some of these other bears were
rougher and tougher than him and then
those occasions he would lose and be
defeated this rigmarole continued as the
seasons flew by summer’s end was fast
approaching an ER bear decided to
surprise his family and went to the
forest to find them a treat on finding
his just reserves making his way home at
the forest he was once again accosted by
that big unknown bear the one who had
stolen his honey all those years before
this time though a birthday oppisite he
was not going to give up his honey that
easy the big unknown be swung
ferociously with a large poor landing a
brutal blow at the chest of our beer
our bear fell to the ground in agony
with blood streaming out of his gaping
hole he looked to the ground and the big
unknown beasts with his other big paw
grabbed his precious food and darted
back into the shadows to devour his
ill-gotten gains or bury lay there
stunned and numb bleeding profusely from
the hole his heart eventually the
numbness wore off he was able to make
his way home news travels fast of his
ordeal when all his friends hear the
news y’all came running they all came
running to help and support the hope
told him what a brave and courageous
spirit he was to stand up to that big
unknown bear to take him on the bear
that was feared by all in the forest and
they all wish them a speedy recovery
with that Orbea went outside still
reeling in pain
and began to rub mud all over his room
to conceal it from his view and the view
of others once that task was completed
he crawled back into bed and there he
stayed until a scabbard formed over his
wound then the next morning he got up
ready to fight another day and although
his aches and pains continued he
pretended he was fully healthy again and
went about his daily business in the
usual way on occasion though his pain
would get so great so unbearable that he
would burst out into a emotional
frenzied tirade and whoever was present
after one such disturbing outburst
making his way home he looked to the
heavens and shouted enough no more
enough he fell to the ground with tears
streaming down his face he raised his
paw in the air and brought it pounding
down in his own heart the blood
immediately poured out of his own when
he saw it in his own paw and realized he
had acknowledged his own pain when he
get home that night he went outside I’m
gently washed on the mud from his wound
to reveal his bleeding heart the next
morning when he awoke he did the same
thing and did the same thing each and
every day thereafter for he had know
realized that he did not need to conceal
he could reveal and he’ll reveal and
heal yes on those dark dark nights of
winter when it was easy to give up when
all seemed lost when he didn’t even have
to try anymore
he still continued and with that he grew
stronger and began having more good days
than bad then one night as he was going
to sleep he felt something different
something had shifted within him he
wondered what was happening at
transformation and as he dozed off he
noticed that for the first time in a
long long time he feel no pain at all
and after a wonderful full night’s sleep
he woke up the next morning so full of
life so full of energy he ran outside
ready to live another day he went to
washes wind and was astonished to find
that I filled completely heal
all of us left was a little scarred lane
as a remainder of what happened and he
could touch that scarred lane now
without any pain he thought of all the
times that he had wanted to give up as
he felt the Sun in his back realized
spring had sprung and thought those
times when he wanted to give up he was
thankful he had continued and was
victorious it was like someone had
peeled off a pair of blinders that had
been limiting his vision all of his life
and now he could clearly see and if all
the things he could clearly see all the
gifts he had found on his journey the
one that he cherished most
was that true power came from within
from the heart not the outside what are
these previously thought
so with all these wonderful insights he
decided to set out on a new direction in
life take all his gifts he had learned
back into the forest to share with
everyone in the forest as he made his
way forward he was pondering on how and
where he could best utilize these gifts
he looked up to the skies for guidance
for answers at that precise moment he
tripped over the leg of a young bear who
lay spread-eagle under a tree or bear
fell over his leg that was protruding
onto the path as her bear fell to the
ground his paw landed in a pool of blood
he looked up he saw that the young beard
had been wounded at the heart with a
gaping hole at his heart are you okay
are you okay I asked that bear do you
need some help no no said a little bear
I’ll be fine in a minute once I rub some
mud in my wound
then I’ll be on my way a wise bear
looked at the little bear with soft
compassionate eyes and said sat down put
his arm around his shoulder and said I
want to share with your story a long
long time ago in a distant land northern
Lake our there lived a bunch of beers
that’s my story I me all of that story
with their nice weather we are ten years
old at a hundred and ten what’s yours
what’s your story for sure empowerment
what will be the
building blocks of your contribution to
the world contributing empowering
self-expressing that’s what changes the
world most especially contribution in
fact let’s take a quick look at
contribution do a little exercise you
maybe want to close your eyes for doing
this I want you to think throughout your
life all the people have helped you
along the way
the ones who have contributed most to
you the ones who have made the
difference that made the difference and
may come to you immediately and may come
to you later upon reflection and may
surprise you who it is it could be a
friend it could be a fleeting
acquaintance an old teacher your
professor the one who saw that untapped
potential within and gave guidance just
let that sink in let that simmer in on
you and if your eyes are closed you can
open them now just let that simmer in as
I mentioned it may come to you
immediately it may come later tonight
it may come through in your dreams or
else it will just drift into
consciousness when it’s ready when it
does come though take good notes and go
back and thank that person for the
guests the difference they’ve made in
your life go back and thank them in
gratitude for the contribution the
building blocks the breaks that they’ve
afforded you we all have done likewise
to others without probably even knowing
it and will continue to do so in closing
I’d like to leave you one last nugget of
wisdom from a little bear about how much
of our life we spend looking down
whether that’s their head stuck in a
textbook studying for an exam or
laughing at some funny meaning or cell
phone every now and then no take a
little breather look up you might be
amazed at what you find there so that’s
where creativity resides and who knows
you may even trip over your own life
call in real doing so but I honestly
believe with all my heart that in most
instances we did not choose a life
Colleen a life calling Jersey’s eyes
so I encourage you to continually share
your own unique life story as it unfolds
and remember no matter what life throws
at you wherever you are on your path
there is always a way forward thank you [Applause]