corner of a dimly lit gas station
parking lot in the middle of the night
it was a sticky hot summer evening and
after I turned off my car it felt like
it was just me in the thick summer air
for miles it was well after any child’s
reasonable bedtime yet Here I am
to meet these three and eight-year-old
brothers for the first time and take
them far away to a foster home hours
away from their parents from whom they
were just removed two women pull up in a
car we shake hands exchange pleasantries
and then we moved the groggy children to
my car in borrowed car seats one woman
pulls up Darius’s shirt to show me a
port where he receives tubal nutrition I
have no experience with tubal feeding
and he requires ready regular medication
through it but the women don’t know if
he’s received tonight’s dose a heavy
case of baby formula is placed in my
trunk my car bounces under the new wait
I hear the lid thuds shut two garbage
bags full of clothing are thrown into my
passenger seat
the boys rouse and whimper looking
around into the still night less than
ten minutes after we meet our cars are
already headed in opposite directions
again with my new precious cargo I
travel over an hour away to take these
children to a foster mother’s home I
work with her to calm them down and put
them to bed in the morning the foster
mother finds Jarius curled up very
tightly on the end of his bed on top of
all of the blankets as the brothers wake
up and get acclimated the foster mother
makes another discovery
these black children are terrified of
white people all white people on top of
a middle-of-the-night move these
brothers who had only known city living
were removed from their parents and
place into the care of two white social
workers who placed them in my care who
drove them far away to stay with a
I first met Shannon when she was having
the worst three hours of her life I’m
sitting around a table under fluorescent
lighting myself and half a dozen other
social workers and therapists look on as
this mother of three hangs her head and
stops she says I love them so much I
just don’t think I can do it I don’t
have the strength her long tangled brown
hair sways as she heaves into the
otherwise silent room shannon has just
been told she’s being granted one more
chance to stabilize so that her children
can come home instead of being separated
into different foster homes as they are
now one more rehab stint one more chance
to get and stay clean her children’s
future hangs thick in the air besides
Shannon sits her boyfriend who is also
her drug dealer
she stays with him because otherwise
she’d be homeless and without any form
of family she knows he keeps her
addicted we all know and so here she
finds herself her children scattered
within a 50 mile radius of this room one
person speaks up and mentions that
there’s a warrant out for the
boyfriend’s arrest he makes a hasty exit
none of us are surprised or even
acknowledge his leaving Shannon stares
at the table her eyes are red from
crying her hands are twisted up in a
Kleenex in her lap her therapist gently
tries to encourage her reminding her how
many of us are behind her cheering for
wanting to see her succeed we feel the
weight of the responsibility of the
decision she’s about to make we feel her
hopelessness her fear of failure and
understanding full well the consequences
of that failure it’s a bright spring
morning I’m sitting in a straight back
to dining room chair staring down into
the face of a brand new baby girl I
breathe in the wonder of this newborn
special needs twin a little girl his
mother didn’t even know she existed
beside her brother until just before
they’re premature delivery across the
room her brothers and the loving arms of
his foster mother who is feeding him in
the very tedious way his special needs
require the gray bars went from a family
of four to a family of eight when they
took in these special needs twins and
their two-year-old special needs
siblings the graters can only do this
because of logistical and emotional
support given from family friends and
community in the first few months an
elderly couple from the gravest church
came over one night a week to stay up
with the babies and feed them so that
the graters could get sleep and better
care for all the children’s needs the
next day the grandma would come over in
her muumuu and her slippers and she
would happily stay attentive all night
what an incredible gift to give to a
family that is exhausted and stretched
others brought over meals mowed the lawn
even offered to babysit so that the
foster mother could get a shower and run
errands yes you heard me right so she
could take a shower because when you’re
taking care of four children ages two
and under there’s not a second to spare
to get away and take a shower unless
somebody’s helping you Johan galtung
introduced the world to peace not just
the peace
there’s the absence attention but
positive peace a place where equity and
harmony exist galtung defines harmony as
the ability or willingness to suffer the
suffering of others and enjoy the joy of
others later dr. Martin Luther King jr.
and his letters from a Birmingham jail
goes on to define positive peace as a
presence of justice there is much
injustice that pulls on our energy today
creating harmony and communities
neighborhoods regionally and globally is
the goal of many a nonprofit church and
civil servant but I beg you consider
this can we ever consider ourselves a
peaceful country when an addicted loving
single mother’s own
a daily support is her drug-dealing
boyfriend can we ever consider ourselves
a peaceful country when children are
removed from their parents in the middle
of the night and taken hours away
because there’s no foster home available
in their neighborhood can we ever
consider ourselves a peaceful country
when siblings are separated from each
other for weeks months years because no
foster family is well enough supported
to be able to take in all of those
children at the same time when the wars
are lost or won when the angry voices
are quenched when enemies become allies
there is still work to be done my
children grew up in expensive car seats
with the highest safety ratings they
have not only clean clothes but too many
clothes and yet another set of clothes
just for dress-up I monitor not just
their scholastic progression but their
emotional reaction to peers and their
sense of self-worth and while I’m doing
this parenting down the street there’s a
young woman in her 14th foster home a
young woman who grew up in borrowed and
filthy car seats a young woman who has
no reason to believe that the adults who
smile at her when she first walked
through their door
are actually willing to walk with her
she processes her painful past a young
woman who fully understands people and
places get paid to take care of her our
collective children are not commodities
they are not resource suckers our
children deserve justice the best care
not just physical needs met but mental
emotional scholastic spiritual our
children deserve the best care not
because of what they may become or what
they may one day be able to give back
our children deserve the best because
they have inherent worth they are worthy
because they are here their behaviors
their words their medical needs the size
of their families these things do not
always make them easy to care for
or love or seem worthy of our best but
it is not his job
to seem worthy of our best it is our job
to see the injustice and do something
about it
our country will experience positive
peace when a motivated mother can reach
out and find connection in her community
and does it have to depend on a drug
dealer for housing and family our
country will experience positive peace
when there are safe and stable foster
homes available in every type of
neighborhood and community our country
will experience positive peace when
children from hard places and big
sibling groups are able to be placed
together in one foster home because that
foster family is abundantly supported by
family friends and community I dream of
a world where children are not exchanged
in dark corners of gas station parking
lots I dream of a world where essential
connections are made and hope is
restored to those who hide in shame
among us where those who have extend
mercy and flexibility your skills your
talents your aspirations your
experiences your personality is needed
and maybe just maybe someday you’ll be
able to tell your grandchildren I was
there I stood up I was counted among the
peacemakers in my community in my
neighborhood thank [Applause]