[Music]
good morning hello everyone nice to be
here
I am Donna Drake and this is an exciting
moment for me to be able to be here
talking to all of you I’ve always wanted
to participate in a TED event a TEDx
event so this is my first time so thank
you so much for being here I appreciate
you it’s so exciting so I grew up in st.
Louis Missouri and growing up in st.
Louis Missouri was interesting and I
loved my Midwestern heritage but for
some reason I was bullied when I was a
kid and I decided that I wanted to grow
up and be famous because I thought that
if I became famous the kids that were
bullying me we’re gonna be nicer to me
that they’re gonna be I’ll be like oh
they’re gonna wish that they were nicer
to me because now I’m famous well it’s
very funny because the children that I
grew up with now are some of my closest
friends and they support me and they’re
like all we knew you’d grow up to do
great things
but today I’m going to be talking on
figuring out your consistent unique
strengths finding your it’s in life so
like I said when I was in second grade I
was getting bullied and my singing
teacher mrs. Bing er said to me Donna
you have an amazing singing voice and I
said thank you and I put my hands on my
hip and I said and I’m gonna be famous
and she laughed and she says okay great
good to know you know and as the years
rolled by when I was in sixth grade I
told my mom I said I’m not gonna die in
small town florists at Missouri I’m
either gonna go to New York or
California why because I’m gonna be
famous she’s like okay Donna Marie
that’s great that’s wonderful when I was
about 12 I auditioned for a patriotic
singing group called the futures of
America and through that we sang songs
from the 30s to the 70s we did a
patriotic finale we would sing at camps
for children that were disabled we sang
for veterans so I kind of grew up with
this I guess personality and my it at
that time was trying to be a cheerleader
if you will for people brands and causes
as I grew up through the years I really
did want to move to New York my mom got
sick when I was in high school and she
was always my biggest fan
and she had breast cancer and that was a
really changing moment in my life where
I had to become resilient and I had to
be resourceful so here I was getting
married having my first child and my mom
died and she was always the person in my
life that said oh that’s my baby I’m so
proud of you and I no longer had that
cheerleader in my life I had to become a
cheerleader for myself after I got an
opportunity to move to New York with my
first husband because he got a new job I
was very excited so here I was with a
newborn child Andrew and we decided
before we moved to New York that we’re
gonna take a trip to California and we
did but I was in the Northridge
earthquake that year and Elise was a
little tiny little baby and she was
resting in this little cradle and when
the earthquake hit something I was
familiar about being prepared for
because growing up in st. Louis they’re
always talking about the New Madrid
fault I woke up and I thought an
airplane was landing and I was like
what’s going on and I ran because Elise
was sleeping in this little cradle well
luckily she wasn’t there because a lamp
had fallen in the cradle and she would
have been crushed I had forgot that in
the middle of the night I had woke up –
she woke up to feed her Inge and she was
near me she was with me so we all went
into the bathroom and crazy things were
happening and televisions were flying
across the room and I said to somebody I
said was this like a normal thing that
people go through because I didn’t want
to overreact and like no no no this was
a major earthquake I said okay I still
had that dream of being what famous but
now I was getting to go to New York so
packed with the babies drove across the
United States from California to New
York landed in New York my husband’s job
was very stressful and it caused a
strain on our marriage because I think I
was really super homesick and I decided
to become single that’s my positive way
for putting miss pinning on I got
divorced I decided to become single so
yeah so here I was living in New York
away from my family away from my friend
I had two small children and I still
decided I wanted to do something with my
life
I wanted to still participate so I
worked at a local television station
called WL and why CBS affiliate and I
went there and I worked behind the
scenes because I never felt pretty
enough to be on television I thought my
nose was too big I didn’t like the space
between my teeth and just thought okay
well I’ll do all this behind-the-scenes
stuff and I did so here I was I was
motherless because my mom died my best
friend
I was divorced living on Long Island
then I fell in love again decided to get
married again I married this wonderful
man named Tom and he was an engineer and
he wrote a song life is only what you
make of it but shortly after we were
married he had colon cancer and he died
so I was motherless I was divorced and
now I was widowed still a single mom so
I said okay I’m gonna move forward with
my life and I did and I worked at the
television station for a long time and I
would do corporate image videos and I
would do voiceovers and things of that
nature and then I had a dream literally
a dream it was December 28th of 2008 I
was sleeping and I dreamt the television
show that I now have completely in color
I found my it I also decided around that
time to get married again
so Tom dies I could start a new TV show
I married this guy named Dan I’m 40
years old I decide to have another baby
and I did and I have Matthew so now I
have and release and Matthew but what
happened I realized I didn’t really love
Dan that I still loved Tom who died and
you guessed it I became single again so
now I was motherless I was divorced I
was widowed I was divorced again now my
third husband and I are still very good
friends we’re Co raising Matthew and
then the television stowe show just
started taking off I dreamt the whole
thing in color I went to the TV station
where I used to work behind the scene
I said I have an idea I had a dream I’m
gonna have my own TV show I’m looking
mean like you’re gonna have your own TV
show people weren’t doing that then I
said yes and I’m gonna call it live it
up and they’re like okay and I based it
upon two things December 28th of 2008
when I had the dream it would have been
my wedding and anniversary to my husband
Tom that died and he’s the one that
wrote the song life is what you make of
it so I put it all together live it up
and I sold everything I owned because it
was 2008 and the economy had tanked and
there was no money there was no sponsors
so I sold my house I sold everything I
owned at a garage sale and decided to
invest in myself to invest in my it and
I’m here to share with you if I can do
this you can do this how many people
have an idea of their it how many people
still are looking for their it how many
people had in it and now they want
another it okay so this is how we’re
gonna do it it’s figuring out consistent
unique strengths and there’s like five
little keys that I think will help you
and I’m holding on to this because I
thought I needed it but I don’t okay so
the first thing the first thing the
first key is about snapping so we’re
gonna figure it out okay so think of a
time in your life that you were
successful at something for me it was
when I was in fifth grade and I decided
to do a talent show and I had the people
from the gym teachers move out the mats
and I am enrolled everybody and she
doing gymnastics and singing songs you
know what goes up must come down
spinning wheels we’re doing cartwheels
and things like that so that was one of
my early moments of things that I could
snap so that I could go back in time and
look at it and say if I can do that I
can do something another big snap it
moment for me was when I got to
interview Jay Leno so I thought to
myself I was like wow I called my dad
because my mom’s no longer there and I
called my dad and st. Louis I said
you’re not gonna believe this and I’m
crying he goes baby you okay I said yeah
I said but it’s not like your daughter
grew up to be on The Tonight Show I said
the guy from The Tonight Show was on
your daughter’s show I was like just
crying so that was a moment for me that
changed my life and if you look on the
of your own life whether it’s when you
were in fifth grade or whether you did
something successful as an adult maybe
somebody wrote a nice article about you
here in Hilton Head or somewhere along
the line and if you can snap it if you
could just make a little picture of
yourself in a successful moment and then
create a new project for yourself based
upon the fact that you know you’ve
already had a success okay so let’s move
to the next slide okay the next one is
out so the word is focused so it’s
figuring out consistent unique strengths
so the second letter stands for out and
it’s about serving it and now I don’t
play tennis but maybe I’ll learn if I
move to Hilton Head it’s about how are
you other-centered who are you when
you’re out in life are you serving on a
board are you volunteering are you the
people round of applause yay you TEDx
tours that are signing everybody in
today that’s name and face recognition
right so figure it out figuring out who
you are at your unique self is just
looking at times in the past or times in
the present where there’s something
unique and special about you whatever
your it is and this is how you’re going
to do it you’re gonna write down all the
things that you’re involved in you know
do you love pets are you helping out
with the Humane Society are you saving
the Turtles I loved her speech she was
awesome so are you doing things like
that and that’s gonna be your second
piece of your puzzle and figuring out
your a how and thank you for taking
notes that makes me happy so figuring it
out okay so the next piece is refresh it
refresh it so this key is interesting
because it’s about consistent what do
you consistently do are you consistently
nice do you consistently open the doors
you know is there a way that you are
able to find things about yourself that
are consistent I try to be kind I try to
be other focused you know I try to be
smiley you know so these are some things
one of my tips for this idea is to take
a water bottle and take the label off of
it you know buy a whole case of water
just take take labels off of it or take
a picture if you like your tap water and
just put a label on it the talks about
your three consistent strengths
so and whatever those are for you and
then every time you’re pouring the water
you’re refreshing yourself you’re
constantly reminded the thing that I
find so refreshing about you is boom
boom and boom okay so that’s your third
key everybody good the next one is
unique everybody is born on one day and
you die on one day you get here one day
you got to leave on one day you know
people talk about the journey they talk
about the in and the out well here it’s
your birthday my mom who you know I love
she remembered everybody’s birthday way
before social media we had a calendar at
our house and every single day she would
write down who she knew that was born on
that day basically because Marilyn down
the street her husband forgot her
birthday so should go my mom she goes
don forgot my birthday and she was
crying at my mom’s like don’t worry
Marilyn every year I’m gonna remember
your birthday so literally on the day my
mom died which was January 31st of 1990
few days later her funeral it was cold
it was social cold and there were people
lined up all the way throughout the
cemetery and and every single person
came up to me and said I’m gonna
remember your mom on my birthday I was
like wow still to this day it’s been
some 20-something years close to thirty
years ago and people are still calling
it gets my birthday and I’ll say oh
happy birthday they’re like I’m praying
for your mom I’m like okay thanks so
much you know it’s like a huge thing so
my idea for this is to make your own
birthday card this year you know you can
even do it today when we’re at lunch
break just take a piece of paper fold it
in half write happy birthday to yourself
and remember that you are unique and
then voice it maybe call your friends
when it’s their birthday and happy
birthday to them find a way to connect
with community with your unique self you
know you have a voice right how lovely
would it be if somebody you know heard
you singing happy birthday to them sing
happy birthday to yourself okay and then
the last key is strengths and sharing it
okay so it’s figuring out consistent
unique strengths a lot of times as
you’re going through this process and
you’re finding what your it is in life
you look around and you’re like
I got that horse saddle and I have it
rode in like 20-something years you know
time to get e on up and maybe send that
saddle to somebody that could absolutely
use it you know and start finding those
places in your life where you’re just
filled around with clutter and there’s
things that you don’t need anymore and
also sharing your time and sharing your
strengths your time your talent and your
treasure
my mom had a Helen Steiner rice picture
up in our bathroom that said it’s not
the things that can be bought that are
life’s richest treasures it’s the little
heart gifts that money cannot measure so
figuring out consistent unique strengths
to help you be resilient to help you be
resourceful in your life did I want to
be widowed no did I want to choose to be
single or divorced as many times as I
wanted no did I want to be famous yes
but now for me it’s not about me being
famous it’s about celebrating the
essence of life it provides me a
platform where I can interview
celebrities like I said it doesn’t
matter to me that they’re famous I want
to know what their it is in life how are
they helping people what’s their give to
the community I interview businesses
about how cool they are and how
resilient they are and how resourceful
they are for starting their own
businesses and I interview nonprofit
organizations and once again if I can do
this you can do this I thank you so very
very much for being here with me for
spending your time with me this is all
about being your unique self thank you
ladies and gentlemen
good morning hello everyone nice to be
here
I am Donna Drake and this is an exciting
moment for me to be able to be here
talking to all of you I’ve always wanted
to participate in a TED event a TEDx
event so this is my first time so thank
you so much for being here I appreciate
you it’s so exciting so I grew up in st.
Louis Missouri and growing up in st.
Louis Missouri was interesting and I
loved my Midwestern heritage but for
some reason I was bullied when I was a
kid and I decided that I wanted to grow
up and be famous because I thought that
if I became famous the kids that were
bullying me we’re gonna be nicer to me
that they’re gonna be I’ll be like oh
they’re gonna wish that they were nicer
to me because now I’m famous well it’s
very funny because the children that I
grew up with now are some of my closest
friends and they support me and they’re
like all we knew you’d grow up to do
great things
but today I’m going to be talking on
figuring out your consistent unique
strengths finding your it’s in life so
like I said when I was in second grade I
was getting bullied and my singing
teacher mrs. Bing er said to me Donna
you have an amazing singing voice and I
said thank you and I put my hands on my
hip and I said and I’m gonna be famous
and she laughed and she says okay great
good to know you know and as the years
rolled by when I was in sixth grade I
told my mom I said I’m not gonna die in
small town florists at Missouri I’m
either gonna go to New York or
California why because I’m gonna be
famous she’s like okay Donna Marie
that’s great that’s wonderful when I was
about 12 I auditioned for a patriotic
singing group called the futures of
America and through that we sang songs
from the 30s to the 70s we did a
patriotic finale we would sing at camps
for children that were disabled we sang
for veterans so I kind of grew up with
this I guess personality and my it at
that time was trying to be a cheerleader
if you will for people brands and causes
as I grew up through the years I really
did want to move to New York my mom got
sick when I was in high school and she
was always my biggest fan
and she had breast cancer and that was a
really changing moment in my life where
I had to become resilient and I had to
be resourceful so here I was getting
married having my first child and my mom
died and she was always the person in my
life that said oh that’s my baby I’m so
proud of you and I no longer had that
cheerleader in my life I had to become a
cheerleader for myself after I got an
opportunity to move to New York with my
first husband because he got a new job I
was very excited so here I was with a
newborn child Andrew and we decided
before we moved to New York that we’re
gonna take a trip to California and we
did but I was in the Northridge
earthquake that year and Elise was a
little tiny little baby and she was
resting in this little cradle and when
the earthquake hit something I was
familiar about being prepared for
because growing up in st. Louis they’re
always talking about the New Madrid
fault I woke up and I thought an
airplane was landing and I was like
what’s going on and I ran because Elise
was sleeping in this little cradle well
luckily she wasn’t there because a lamp
had fallen in the cradle and she would
have been crushed I had forgot that in
the middle of the night I had woke up –
she woke up to feed her Inge and she was
near me she was with me so we all went
into the bathroom and crazy things were
happening and televisions were flying
across the room and I said to somebody I
said was this like a normal thing that
people go through because I didn’t want
to overreact and like no no no this was
a major earthquake I said okay I still
had that dream of being what famous but
now I was getting to go to New York so
packed with the babies drove across the
United States from California to New
York landed in New York my husband’s job
was very stressful and it caused a
strain on our marriage because I think I
was really super homesick and I decided
to become single that’s my positive way
for putting miss pinning on I got
divorced I decided to become single so
yeah so here I was living in New York
away from my family away from my friend
I had two small children and I still
decided I wanted to do something with my
life
I wanted to still participate so I
worked at a local television station
called WL and why CBS affiliate and I
went there and I worked behind the
scenes because I never felt pretty
enough to be on television I thought my
nose was too big I didn’t like the space
between my teeth and just thought okay
well I’ll do all this behind-the-scenes
stuff and I did so here I was I was
motherless because my mom died my best
friend
I was divorced living on Long Island
then I fell in love again decided to get
married again I married this wonderful
man named Tom and he was an engineer and
he wrote a song life is only what you
make of it but shortly after we were
married he had colon cancer and he died
so I was motherless I was divorced and
now I was widowed still a single mom so
I said okay I’m gonna move forward with
my life and I did and I worked at the
television station for a long time and I
would do corporate image videos and I
would do voiceovers and things of that
nature and then I had a dream literally
a dream it was December 28th of 2008 I
was sleeping and I dreamt the television
show that I now have completely in color
I found my it I also decided around that
time to get married again
so Tom dies I could start a new TV show
I married this guy named Dan I’m 40
years old I decide to have another baby
and I did and I have Matthew so now I
have and release and Matthew but what
happened I realized I didn’t really love
Dan that I still loved Tom who died and
you guessed it I became single again so
now I was motherless I was divorced I
was widowed I was divorced again now my
third husband and I are still very good
friends we’re Co raising Matthew and
then the television stowe show just
started taking off I dreamt the whole
thing in color I went to the TV station
where I used to work behind the scene
I said I have an idea I had a dream I’m
gonna have my own TV show I’m looking
mean like you’re gonna have your own TV
show people weren’t doing that then I
said yes and I’m gonna call it live it
up and they’re like okay and I based it
upon two things December 28th of 2008
when I had the dream it would have been
my wedding and anniversary to my husband
Tom that died and he’s the one that
wrote the song life is what you make of
it so I put it all together live it up
and I sold everything I owned because it
was 2008 and the economy had tanked and
there was no money there was no sponsors
so I sold my house I sold everything I
owned at a garage sale and decided to
invest in myself to invest in my it and
I’m here to share with you if I can do
this you can do this how many people
have an idea of their it how many people
still are looking for their it how many
people had in it and now they want
another it okay so this is how we’re
gonna do it it’s figuring out consistent
unique strengths and there’s like five
little keys that I think will help you
and I’m holding on to this because I
thought I needed it but I don’t okay so
the first thing the first thing the
first key is about snapping so we’re
gonna figure it out okay so think of a
time in your life that you were
successful at something for me it was
when I was in fifth grade and I decided
to do a talent show and I had the people
from the gym teachers move out the mats
and I am enrolled everybody and she
doing gymnastics and singing songs you
know what goes up must come down
spinning wheels we’re doing cartwheels
and things like that so that was one of
my early moments of things that I could
snap so that I could go back in time and
look at it and say if I can do that I
can do something another big snap it
moment for me was when I got to
interview Jay Leno so I thought to
myself I was like wow I called my dad
because my mom’s no longer there and I
called my dad and st. Louis I said
you’re not gonna believe this and I’m
crying he goes baby you okay I said yeah
I said but it’s not like your daughter
grew up to be on The Tonight Show I said
the guy from The Tonight Show was on
your daughter’s show I was like just
crying so that was a moment for me that
changed my life and if you look on the
of your own life whether it’s when you
were in fifth grade or whether you did
something successful as an adult maybe
somebody wrote a nice article about you
here in Hilton Head or somewhere along
the line and if you can snap it if you
could just make a little picture of
yourself in a successful moment and then
create a new project for yourself based
upon the fact that you know you’ve
already had a success okay so let’s move
to the next slide okay the next one is
out so the word is focused so it’s
figuring out consistent unique strengths
so the second letter stands for out and
it’s about serving it and now I don’t
play tennis but maybe I’ll learn if I
move to Hilton Head it’s about how are
you other-centered who are you when
you’re out in life are you serving on a
board are you volunteering are you the
people round of applause yay you TEDx
tours that are signing everybody in
today that’s name and face recognition
right so figure it out figuring out who
you are at your unique self is just
looking at times in the past or times in
the present where there’s something
unique and special about you whatever
your it is and this is how you’re going
to do it you’re gonna write down all the
things that you’re involved in you know
do you love pets are you helping out
with the Humane Society are you saving
the Turtles I loved her speech she was
awesome so are you doing things like
that and that’s gonna be your second
piece of your puzzle and figuring out
your a how and thank you for taking
notes that makes me happy so figuring it
out okay so the next piece is refresh it
refresh it so this key is interesting
because it’s about consistent what do
you consistently do are you consistently
nice do you consistently open the doors
you know is there a way that you are
able to find things about yourself that
are consistent I try to be kind I try to
be other focused you know I try to be
smiley you know so these are some things
one of my tips for this idea is to take
a water bottle and take the label off of
it you know buy a whole case of water
just take take labels off of it or take
a picture if you like your tap water and
just put a label on it the talks about
your three consistent strengths
so and whatever those are for you and
then every time you’re pouring the water
you’re refreshing yourself you’re
constantly reminded the thing that I
find so refreshing about you is boom
boom and boom okay so that’s your third
key everybody good the next one is
unique everybody is born on one day and
you die on one day you get here one day
you got to leave on one day you know
people talk about the journey they talk
about the in and the out well here it’s
your birthday my mom who you know I love
she remembered everybody’s birthday way
before social media we had a calendar at
our house and every single day she would
write down who she knew that was born on
that day basically because Marilyn down
the street her husband forgot her
birthday so should go my mom she goes
don forgot my birthday and she was
crying at my mom’s like don’t worry
Marilyn every year I’m gonna remember
your birthday so literally on the day my
mom died which was January 31st of 1990
few days later her funeral it was cold
it was social cold and there were people
lined up all the way throughout the
cemetery and and every single person
came up to me and said I’m gonna
remember your mom on my birthday I was
like wow still to this day it’s been
some 20-something years close to thirty
years ago and people are still calling
it gets my birthday and I’ll say oh
happy birthday they’re like I’m praying
for your mom I’m like okay thanks so
much you know it’s like a huge thing so
my idea for this is to make your own
birthday card this year you know you can
even do it today when we’re at lunch
break just take a piece of paper fold it
in half write happy birthday to yourself
and remember that you are unique and
then voice it maybe call your friends
when it’s their birthday and happy
birthday to them find a way to connect
with community with your unique self you
know you have a voice right how lovely
would it be if somebody you know heard
you singing happy birthday to them sing
happy birthday to yourself okay and then
the last key is strengths and sharing it
okay so it’s figuring out consistent
unique strengths a lot of times as
you’re going through this process and
you’re finding what your it is in life
you look around and you’re like
I got that horse saddle and I have it
rode in like 20-something years you know
time to get e on up and maybe send that
saddle to somebody that could absolutely
use it you know and start finding those
places in your life where you’re just
filled around with clutter and there’s
things that you don’t need anymore and
also sharing your time and sharing your
strengths your time your talent and your
treasure
my mom had a Helen Steiner rice picture
up in our bathroom that said it’s not
the things that can be bought that are
life’s richest treasures it’s the little
heart gifts that money cannot measure so
figuring out consistent unique strengths
to help you be resilient to help you be
resourceful in your life did I want to
be widowed no did I want to choose to be
single or divorced as many times as I
wanted no did I want to be famous yes
but now for me it’s not about me being
famous it’s about celebrating the
essence of life it provides me a
platform where I can interview
celebrities like I said it doesn’t
matter to me that they’re famous I want
to know what their it is in life how are
they helping people what’s their give to
the community I interview businesses
about how cool they are and how
resilient they are and how resourceful
they are for starting their own
businesses and I interview nonprofit
organizations and once again if I can do
this you can do this I thank you so very
very much for being here with me for
spending your time with me this is all
about being your unique self thank you
ladies and gentlemen
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