the sky you know how I feel breeze
driftin on by you know how I feel it’s a
new dawn it’s a new day it’s a new life
for me and I’m feeling good
note to self remember to breathe they
say that we know what we want to be in
our life our passion our dreams from
when we’re 5 years old mine was to be a
singer I was maybe 5 years old when I
began pursuing my career in music and I
was determined I was gonna record some
songs I was gonna get on TV become
famous and then buy an island I still
want that island by the way me of that
island I used to I grew up in a society
I mean I’m Lebanese I don’t know if
you’re familiar with Lebanese culture
this is our national attire
just kidding it’s not at the time and
this is the Lebanese culture is
basically a bunch of people who love
life and enjoy every minute they love to
dress up where they go and they place a
lot of emphasis on the external
appearance you could go to the
supermarket and they are you know all
gala mode and here comes a little me you
know chubby rubra you know trying to
make her way through life and then
people just had me pegged out I didn’t
even say a word and they just knew
exactly who I was and they talked about
it you know like the physical fear and I
didn’t understand what why are you
telling my mother that she should like
put me on a diet or something why is
this so important to you I didn’t
realize how important it was for society
what it did was was at an early age I
started it tired making me feel like I
was always not good enough not smart
enough
I wasn’t pretty enough I wasn’t dressed
well enough so from that very early
stage I had to like figure out a lot of
life stuff you know for a 6 7 8 year old
that’s a lot of material to take in but
I I never let it discourage me what I
did was is I found solace and music like
I’d go tuck myself away in the little
corner and sing and when they teach you
to sing that’s how you always open keep
your eyes open and engage the crowd you
know don’t close your eyes a lot of
singers do that it’s my favorite part
I love closing my eyes and going into
the music and that’s what I used to do
and when I sang I was weightless
shapeless nobody could tell me whether I
was good or not I was perfect in that
space and I sang and I sang until the
age of 16 I thought you know that’s it
this is my career I’m gonna become a
singer and that’s everyone asked me I
was just you know waiting for that
Island right but I let the noise of
society’s expectation of what I was
supposed to do I let it in and my doubt
of myself and my talent and my abilities
was put into question so I did what
everyone you know the right thing to do
I went to college and I study the
advertising and communication and I
sought out a career and there because
ultimately I wasn’t a good enough singer
right I mean there was always that fear
that’s me by the way no singing at a
very young age and so I let that fear
come in and I let it make a dictation on
my life to leave music I went and I
studied advertising that became my
career I went up the ladder you know the
usual the weekends the nights the late
nights all of that I still do it by the
way and I let music take the backseat
this it’s called the imposter syndrome
by the way a lot of very high achievers
they can’t internalize that feeling of
success or the the successes that
they’ve had and so they feel that
they’re gonna they’re a fraud and
they’re about to be pegged out so it was
a relief to know that this is the state
of mind that a lot of people share it’s
doctor Pauline clan’s and Suzanne who
actually coined that term the imposter
syndrome so I did what everyone does I
got married I thought you know this is
it I’ll get married I’ll have kids and
then my life will be just perfect
because I’d watch Cinderella so many
times
and believe me she walked down that
aisle and she lived happily ever after
there was no sequel to that movie little
did I know that life came in and I
became a private detector to find out
when the affairs were happening and it
became my life I became but I could
smell lies from a mile away now you know
and here I was you know thinking you
know I’d done it I opened my own company
I was married and I was about to have
our first baby and the affairs obviously
still happening and the marriage broke
he fell in love with someone else
younger prettier thinner you can just
put all those labels in there and I
found myself a single mother a single
mother of a boy by myself back in
Lebanon in that society that is Arab and
wants you to get married and never get
divorced no matter what happens so not
only was I divorced I was divorced with
a child big one
not marriage material you can imagine
and it brought in a lot of stuff now the
thing is people are judgmental not
because they intend to be horrible
people
it starts from as as early as the age of
three you know you look at people you
see them in a different light you can’t
identify with them therefore you choose
a distance so they don’t do it on
purpose but that’s why I felt compelled
as a mother that whenever I had a single
opportunity to insert one positive
message about my children’s perspective
on other people or life that I would do
so we have every summer we go to Lebanon
and we spend the summers there if you’ve
been to brahmanah this is our city our
hometown and there’s this little
ice-cream shop there the owner of the
ice cream shop has a daughter called yes
Mina yes mean as a little person with a
huge personality I remember I took nigh
on my daughter for the first time she
was just about three at the time and I
and I saw him when she saw us me now you
could tell she was time to get ideas in
her head you know this one she looks
like an older person but she’s small and
what’s going on here and the image was
starting to form so I went off tune I
and I said oh my god doesn’t she look so
interesting mommy look at her big smile
come let’s go get to know her and talk
to her
and we went and we spoke to yes mean on
yes muna had gone to brahmana high
school so she spoke perfect English and
the Arabic barrier because my kids
barely speak any Arabic and they hit it
off and now my daughter whenever she
wants to go to the ice-cream shop she
wants to go and see us Mina she’s not
going to the ice-cream store
so that was one opportunity that I had
and I’m continuously planting these
kinds of seeds where I tell my kids look
beyond the first impression may be that
first impression that you got from that
person was honored they were having a
bad day they didn’t feel like talking
they’re not introverts it just so
happened that they people are in the
layers they’re not in that little
synopsis that you’ve given yourself from
because you know you’ve seen people you
can peg them out I learned that there
was a kryptonite to people the judgement
of us and it’s called confidence if you
ever walk into a room and you have the
slightest self-doubt people smell it on
you like dogs smell fear Nelson Mandela
once said that courage is not the
absence of fear but rather the triumph
over it
I feel like confidence is not the
absence of insecurities we all have them
I’m sure we all have our list but it’s
coexisting with them it’s understanding
why they’re there forgiving yourself for
having them being self-acceptance
so I created Rupa robot was born again
River the girl who hated her curls
growing up now I celebrate my curls this
is my my symbol or my logo if you like
so I celebrated my curls the little
lines are my scars I went back
throughout my life and I made peace with
all the different phases of my life
every single scar that I had I wore like
a badge of honor
you know I did well and I finally I was
owning up to it and my motto is truth
strength and love because I want to
approach everything with truth and
genuine State of Mind I want to be
strong no matter how tough it gets and
love as much an abundance of love right
here to give and to take as a mother of
two kids now remarried because I found
love again you know they say love like
you’ve never been hurt before it works
but find someone who will push and
support
so I found myself in that strong family
support system and I thought okay I’m
bordering on 40 I’ve always wanted to be
a singer I’ve abandoned it for so long
but I want to be a singer again you know
yes okay I did a career I did it really
well I still do it can’t I do both can’t
I be a singer and an executive during
the day yes I can and so I decided I’m
gonna work on my first album and I
called it Mama’s back cuz I’m a mama and
I’m back I came back to music with so
much enthusiasm you think I was like 16
you know like I’m doing my first album
and all of this the perks that come with
it it’s amazing how when when you decide
that you’re gonna go in a certain
direction the universe just comes to
your rescue because they know she’s
going for it we better help her so I met
a producer based in Los Angeles I met
musicians based all over the world that
worked on this record there was the one
of the voices the backing vocalists on
this album is the same person who goes
on tour with mary j blige like I adore
mary j blige and her backing vocalists
is on this it just goes to show that
there’s an alignment that we have no
idea exists but it comes in full force
when we say I am going for this I got
the opportunity to perform at this huge
concert where you had the usual lineup
you know Cee Lo Green Missy Elliott
rubra just like part of the name as I
was about to get on the stage we’re
talking 60,000 people like it’s like a
carpet of people and I was about to get
on stage my knees were shaking like
crazy I was going to faint I saw stars
and I was I remember standing there
singing it’s about time I got on that
stage and I reclaimed my place I’m a
singer and this is my voice take it or
leave it it was a wonderful day by the
way I will never forget the experience
of like tasting the fruit of the pursuit
of your passion it tastes beautiful and
it’s not about the money it’s not about
the records the Billboard charts it has
nothing to do with that it’s just the
fact that I was true to myself and my
inner calling and I went for it all the
way I called my quest finding my Venus I
even created a
called finding my Venus for me Venus is
that perfect alignment with yourself
when you believe in yourself enough you
forgiving yourself you love yourself you
appreciate yourself exactly the way you
are and that for me is that ultimately
and we have multiple talents I’m not
just a singer I’m not just a writer I’m
not just a communications expert I might
decide to become an astronaut tomorrow
seriously I might do that
but but you’re entitled to that multiple
diversity of self don’t I don’t like to
feel like I’m in one box I’m in this box
at the moment we don’t know what’s gonna
happen later I felt also this major
desire to use my voice you know to shed
light on the things that matter and I
feel like this is my moto having your
voice heard presents you with an
opportunity to place the things that
matter in the limelight so that more
people can be made aware of it I have so
many passions I love supporting autism
and by the way in autism music therapy
apparently gives them so much vocabulary
to kids who would otherwise speak a few
words but yet when they sing their vocab
expands another favorite subject to me
is empowering other women sisters and
mothers and I feel like with the journey
that I went through we have a lot of
things in common and I love to use my
voice for you know getting my sisters
out there being stronger doing what they
want to do there’s this lady called
Louise Hay she wrote a book when in her
80s
it’s called empowering women I love that
book so much that I got like a bunch of
copies kept them with me in the car
ready to give another powerful mama a
book and she talked about the unity
between women she said that women are
always intimidated by each other they
compare each other to one another
whereas each one is different in her own
way your scars your experience your life
makes you unique just the way you are
you don’t have to have the same features
to you know feel at par we don’t have to
be apart and I feel this is probably one
of the biggest challenges that we have
to unite as women then you will see what
I always we are all super women we are
all Wonder women I always find myself
having a conversation with someone who
doesn’t like their hair or their hair is
too blonde or too brunette or too curly
or too flat or God makes no mistakes if
he gave you that nose
he knows that it fits your face why
there’s not an amount of plastic surgery
in the world that we can do to make us
feel better about ourselves it’s a
decision when we choose the thing is the
inspiration is out there like growing up
I remember I used to look around and see
where am I gonna find this kind of
inspiration I found it at home I have a
mother who’s a career woman she’s an
artist and she’s a curator and she’s a
pioneer in her own right and she was
always like this mother of three
battling in the world and she there’s
not a thing she wanted to do that she
didn’t go for traveling the world
showing her art it started there Nina
Simone Nina Simone when she was eight
years old she was a musical prodigy and
she was about to give a concert and they
wouldn’t let her parents sit in the
front row because this was still in the
segregation era she refused to get on
stage this is an eight-year-old girl the
inspiration I got from that story alone
is incredible to have that kind of
bravery to stand up Oprah will and Coco
Chanel by the way I love Coco Chanel and
Oprah who told us you can be a
multi-billionaire you can be this
pioneer you can educate hundreds of
women every year yes you draw
inspiration from that – uncle tomb
uncle tomb is an Arab woman who grew up
in an era that was so oppressive to him
and yet her voice was beyond the
beautiful music that she made she was
very opinionated outspoken and nobody
could third shoot her down
ella fitzgerald also in an era and her
music and she broke barriers and music
even with with the compositions that she
used to make she created scatting Jill
Scott one of my favorite artists before
she got on stage one day they were doing
a documentary on her and the reporter
asked her he said you’re about to get on
stage right after Erykah Badu don’t you
feel a bit nervous and she’s like honey
she believes in this thing called the
queendom
and in the in the queendom we are all
beautiful we can all do and achieve and
grow and you know there’s room for all
of us
my favorite Maya Angelou Maya Angelou
was so sassy by the way the way she used
to write is beautiful there’s this
little poem that she wrote she says in
it pretty women wonder where my secret
lies I’m not built like a fashion model
sighs and when I start to tell them they
think I’m telling lies I say it’s in the
reach of my arms and the width of my
hips it’s in the stride of my step and
the curl of my lips I am fine I am a
woman phenomenally Phenomenal Woman
that is me part of embracing the past
and the history of myself one of them
was the fact that whenever I sang I
cried I’m a very emotional person put a
cartoon up and there’s an emotional
moment pass the tissues please and I’m I
don’t care I like I expressed it I don’t
mind but growing up you’re made to think
that being emotional or hypersensitive
as I like to call it is it’s not a good
thing but yet in retrospect I found that
it was this kind of emotion that enabled
me to connect with the audience that I
sang to I was about 18 years old and I
was performing a song that I wrote for
my mother and there was a profound song
you know where I confessed that I made
my mother’s life horrible for the past
he needs for teenage years that I’d
passed with but it was and this woman
and the audience started to cry and I
looked at her and I just couldn’t
understand how my voice had reached her
and she got emotional and she cried I
was still 18 so I wasn’t aware of you
know the impact that you could have but
that for me was that confirmation in
retrospect of one of the things that I
perceived to be my biggest weakness was
actually my biggest strength as an
artist that is what helped me connect to
people whenever I spoke to them
and so once I found this freedom to
express my voice again and go for it and
I’m gonna make other albums I’m still
writing music now and whatever comes
bring it I’m just ready for it and
finding that voice meant that I’m not
quiet anymore like if there’s something
that happens in my life that I’m or or
or a matter that is placed in my mindset
and that I have to comment on it I’m not
happy with it I would say it it gets me
into trouble granted yeah but I speak
because I have that freedom we have that
freedom to speak it’s about time that
women as women we stood up and really
took ownership of that freedom that we
have I mean if we look back just a few
decades ago they didn’t have a third of
the voice that we have they couldn’t
vote they couldn’t speak they couldn’t
go out they couldn’t draw nothing look
at us we’ve come a long way and once you
taste that freedom holla
in Arabic they say hellos means no you
can’t and I’d like to end this with the
words of Nina Simone who said well
freedom is mine and I know just how I
feel it’s a new dawn it’s a new day it’s
a new life for me and I’m feeling
[Music] [Applause]