it was amazing to me what I want you to
do is I want you to take your beliefs
your thoughts and your feelings and put
them in the parking lot and I want you
to be brave and have some courage and be
vulnerable as you walk down this path a
beam non-binary or gender fluid and I
want you to imagine that you just woke
up and they won’t give me coffee just to
let you know because I’m pretty hyper
but um you just woke up and you realize
your body is female but your outer
gender expression is a male but your
inner expression you feel everything you
feel everybody’s pain is female so your
view of the world is actually both how
do you navigate a world that’s both that
you are jet that you are non-binary or
gender fluid well there’s two main
problems with that as you travel along
my journey is that what do you call me
I’m not a he I’m not a she I’m an
identical twin so I’m out of a I’m a Z
so I have when you’re talking to people
and you see a lot of email signatures
and things like that
you know people are starting to talk
about their pronouns would be really
helpful is that when you’re saying hey
my name is Jules and I am I my regional
name is Julie but I go by Jules because
that’s more gender neutral I’m more in
the middle and so I’m not a he or she
I’m just see so I don’t and then so then
you have the other problem bathrooms
right we hear a lot about the talks of
bathrooms right now we hear we hear
about you know you know the bathrooms
and let me tell you about the bathroom
so I’ll why I would have walk into a
male bathroom but I can’t because I too
afraid to do that I mean I do that lines
are shorter so that is a much better
place to be but um
but when you go into a females when I go
to a female bathroom and I have a tie on
I’ll have people looking at looking at
the sign and then they’ll point to me
and they’ll look at the sign like I
can’t see them and or they’ll be
threatened they’ll feel threatened
they’ll feel they’ll feel like I am
threatening them and if you know me I am
like a jelly bean I mean like you know
marshmallow I’m like I’m pretty much
mushy person so like so like there’s
nothing to be threatened by me but but
if you’re just looking at the outside
that’s what you see is you see a male
and so it’s confusing for people right
now walk down my journey 10 months ago I
felt like I was a burden to society I
felt alone I felt like no one cared
because I was listening to what society
was telling me that I wasn’t okay and
that is how 40% for the transgender
so what I’m asking you to do today I
have a call to action to change the
suicide rate and we can do this and that
is why this talk is so important of
finding the middle ground and gender
it’s not easy to be in the middle but
it’s also a blessing it’s also a gift
and so what I’m asking people to do is
think about this think about being in
the middle and when I’m asking people
for a call-to-action I’m asking you to
change the way in which you think about
gender see if you’re an educator don’t
say he you know he or she or ladies or
gentlemen say people and if you’re a
researcher and you can have demographics
add non-binary and gender fluid to your
category so you can recognize the people
in the middle and if you are a
professional and I’m calling you for
help
don’t gender ëismí and say sir and then
put me on hold
first of all if you’re an emergency and
you put me on hold not great idea but
but I mean you don’t you really really
have to think about how we communicate
it’s not just birth certificates it’s
not just bad
it’s every form of communication that’s
how we change this world one form at a
time you know we look at the time sheet
it just says female or male it doesn’t
have non-binary gender fluid look at
your forms include the person in the
middle now I was asked you know I just
thought about the earlier TED talk about
you know when did I see a doctor well I
saw a doctor I broke my elbow and and
the doctor wanted me to wear a gown and
I did not feel comfortable so I I did it
for the x-rays and then I changed and he
yelled at me and II wasn’t gonna service
me but he didn’t realize that I suffer
from body dysphoria so you don’t ever
know what with someone’s going through
you know and so to be more inclusive is
to really try to understand that you
don’t really know how people are
reacting or what they’re doing now I’m
going to end with this amazing story so
walk with me to New York where you’re
gonna go see a Broadway play and you’re
going into after the restaurant I had to
go to the bathroom and I’ve always
frightened because I wear a tie and
never know how that’s gonna work so I
walk into the bathroom there’s an older
lady and a younger lady there and the
older ladies like there’s a man in the
bathroom and usually I say nothing
especially with the climate right now
it’s not really a warm and fuzzy time
for me to be able to say something so
but usually I say nothing but this time
I decide to say no just in the middle
and the younger lady looks at me and
goes yes and you are a child of God and
you are loved
and you are perfect exactly the way you
are
what an amazing response that took 15
seconds so that’s how we change this
world one form at a time one human
connection at a time and that’s how we
find the middle ground and gender thank
you so much for your time [Applause]
do is I want you to take your beliefs
your thoughts and your feelings and put
them in the parking lot and I want you
to be brave and have some courage and be
vulnerable as you walk down this path a
beam non-binary or gender fluid and I
want you to imagine that you just woke
up and they won’t give me coffee just to
let you know because I’m pretty hyper
but um you just woke up and you realize
your body is female but your outer
gender expression is a male but your
inner expression you feel everything you
feel everybody’s pain is female so your
view of the world is actually both how
do you navigate a world that’s both that
you are jet that you are non-binary or
gender fluid well there’s two main
problems with that as you travel along
my journey is that what do you call me
I’m not a he I’m not a she I’m an
identical twin so I’m out of a I’m a Z
so I have when you’re talking to people
and you see a lot of email signatures
and things like that
you know people are starting to talk
about their pronouns would be really
helpful is that when you’re saying hey
my name is Jules and I am I my regional
name is Julie but I go by Jules because
that’s more gender neutral I’m more in
the middle and so I’m not a he or she
I’m just see so I don’t and then so then
you have the other problem bathrooms
right we hear a lot about the talks of
bathrooms right now we hear we hear
about you know you know the bathrooms
and let me tell you about the bathroom
so I’ll why I would have walk into a
male bathroom but I can’t because I too
afraid to do that I mean I do that lines
are shorter so that is a much better
place to be but um
but when you go into a females when I go
to a female bathroom and I have a tie on
I’ll have people looking at looking at
the sign and then they’ll point to me
and they’ll look at the sign like I
can’t see them and or they’ll be
threatened they’ll feel threatened
they’ll feel they’ll feel like I am
threatening them and if you know me I am
like a jelly bean I mean like you know
marshmallow I’m like I’m pretty much
mushy person so like so like there’s
nothing to be threatened by me but but
if you’re just looking at the outside
that’s what you see is you see a male
and so it’s confusing for people right
now walk down my journey 10 months ago I
felt like I was a burden to society I
felt alone I felt like no one cared
because I was listening to what society
was telling me that I wasn’t okay and
that is how 40% for the transgender
so what I’m asking you to do today I
have a call to action to change the
suicide rate and we can do this and that
is why this talk is so important of
finding the middle ground and gender
it’s not easy to be in the middle but
it’s also a blessing it’s also a gift
and so what I’m asking people to do is
think about this think about being in
the middle and when I’m asking people
for a call-to-action I’m asking you to
change the way in which you think about
gender see if you’re an educator don’t
say he you know he or she or ladies or
gentlemen say people and if you’re a
researcher and you can have demographics
add non-binary and gender fluid to your
category so you can recognize the people
in the middle and if you are a
professional and I’m calling you for
help
don’t gender ëismí and say sir and then
put me on hold
first of all if you’re an emergency and
you put me on hold not great idea but
but I mean you don’t you really really
have to think about how we communicate
it’s not just birth certificates it’s
not just bad
it’s every form of communication that’s
how we change this world one form at a
time you know we look at the time sheet
it just says female or male it doesn’t
have non-binary gender fluid look at
your forms include the person in the
middle now I was asked you know I just
thought about the earlier TED talk about
you know when did I see a doctor well I
saw a doctor I broke my elbow and and
the doctor wanted me to wear a gown and
I did not feel comfortable so I I did it
for the x-rays and then I changed and he
yelled at me and II wasn’t gonna service
me but he didn’t realize that I suffer
from body dysphoria so you don’t ever
know what with someone’s going through
you know and so to be more inclusive is
to really try to understand that you
don’t really know how people are
reacting or what they’re doing now I’m
going to end with this amazing story so
walk with me to New York where you’re
gonna go see a Broadway play and you’re
going into after the restaurant I had to
go to the bathroom and I’ve always
frightened because I wear a tie and
never know how that’s gonna work so I
walk into the bathroom there’s an older
lady and a younger lady there and the
older ladies like there’s a man in the
bathroom and usually I say nothing
especially with the climate right now
it’s not really a warm and fuzzy time
for me to be able to say something so
but usually I say nothing but this time
I decide to say no just in the middle
and the younger lady looks at me and
goes yes and you are a child of God and
you are loved
and you are perfect exactly the way you
are
what an amazing response that took 15
seconds so that’s how we change this
world one form at a time one human
connection at a time and that’s how we
find the middle ground and gender thank
you so much for your time [Applause]
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