a telephone call on this red phone years
ago changed my life and it went like
hello is this Lola my name is bill
gladden I’m from Savannah Georgia and
I’m calling you this evening because I
was born in Miami Valley Hospital in
Dayton Ohio on December 15 1945 I have
reason to believe that you are my birth
mother I’m a happily married attorney I
have two children who would be your
beautiful grandchildren I don’t have any
financial needs or any psychological
needs I just thought that you would like
to know what happened and we would like
to meet you dead silence on the other
end during which my worst fears come out
that she will want to have nothing to do
with her past finally after the pause
the first words my mother ever spoke to
me bill is it I have no doubt but that
you are who you say you are
I have never explained you to my husband
or my family or anyone I need to have
some time to do that I said I understand
here’s my home phone number my work
phone number so that you can call back
when you wish and I hope it’s soon she
says thank you Bill
click that was quick would she have the
courage to explain me her secret to her
family would they be upset would they
sabotage the reunion that I had waited
so long for it all started with family
secrecy I never understood
why my adoptive parents Ken gliadin and
Kay gladden kept my adoption a secret I
loved them they loved me and when I
found out I was felt very lucky I felt
blessed particularly since right up the
street from our house was the county
orphanage there but for the grace of God
went I and I’m not the only one to feel
this way I have learned that there are
over 7 million adoptees in the United
States today the ones that I have talked
to all are very grateful for having been
adopted and look upon their adoptive
parents as their real parents but they
also tell me at some time in life it’s
natural they want to know more about
where they came from why they were
adopted do they have any medical
conditions they might have inherited do
what’s their ethnicity
do they have brothers and sisters have
didn’t get the urge to search until on
my 37th birthday my wife said something
very challenging to me it was different
it hit me right between the eyes
she said bill 37 years ago today a woman
gave you birth no she gave you life I
bet she had a very difficult time giving
you up I bet she would like to know how
well things have worked out for you and
that she has two beautiful grandchildren
she could dote upon yes I had always
felt a little lost but it was logical
that my birth mother would even have a
greater loss and my kids had one living
grandparent two more might be out there
so I’m thinking maybe I’ll search and in
thinking about that I had to overcome
the number one reason why many
Dottie’s don’t search and that is fear
of the unknown am i opening up a can of
worms
will they reject me am I going to find
some not so very nice people am I going
to be related to the Unabomber or
Kardashian’s room so I decided I am
going to do this fear isn’t going to get
in my way and so I charged right ahead
into the wall the wall is adoptees
learned that the state statutes allow
the custodians of their records to give
them non identifying descriptive
information which means they can tell
you the eye color of your mother the
hair color
her birthdate her religion her her work
choice or all kinds of things except
where do she is where to find her that’s
the end of it for almost all searches
you get that information that’s it
search over I was lucky I had some other
information I learned that I had a
brother named Terry so I go to the
County Courthouse and find the name
change record where I became bill
gladden and it said I was baby Clark so
I’ve got Terry Clark and a birthdate I
go to the state birth records there he
is his mother is Lola Clark her birth
date is the birth date in my adoption
records of my mother this is looking
like it I check driver’s license records
she’s driving around so she’s alive I
check business records she is listed as
the owner of the orchard in bar mom owns
a bar this is good this is getting good
she has a listed telephone number which
takes us back to the call and her need
to explain her big secret me to her
family and the next morning 8 o’clock
early phones ring it’s Lola
oh they’re ok with this they want to
meet you too so I take my family up to
meet her I can’t explain to you the
feeling of looking at your birth mother
for the first time there’s an aha moment
of familiarity on several very good
levels we spent the first day catching
up with each other taking legacy photos
and actually she spent much most of the
first day playing with her newly found
grandchildren at the end of the day she
said she pulls me closely and says I
want you to know that I am thrilled to
know that you were adopted at all that
was never a given I always thought that
it could be the worst and that it worked
out as well as I could have wished I got
to meet three siblings my favorite of
the three was Terry Clark Terry now
lives in Florida and he lives in a
nudist colony so I have to visit him
right away the bad news was that 37
years after a brief affair Lola
remembered very little about my birth
father so I had to sadly explain to my
children that there’s not enough
information we just never will know
anything about him then last fall I get
a call from my son he says dad I just
did this DNA kit you know where this is
going right
I just did this DNA kit and I’m closely
related to someone named Melinda I’ve
talked to her on the phone and we think
that maybe our families are related
through your missing birth father so I
said well let’s check that out so I
order the kit spit in the vial and send
it in
just like 15 million Americans have done
four million in the last year alone
it comes back 25% of your DNA matches
Melinda and Joanne 99% certainty they
are your half sisters so Facebook Joann
has a picture of her and her two
brothers Mike and Bill I’m Bill and I
have a brother Bill she has a picture of
her deceased father Ernest who would be
my father we had our first family
reunion last month at the family reunion
many of them thought I looked as much
like Ernest as anybody and they’re good
people I liked them they’re interesting
but most interesting was that my father
Ernest like me was adopted only in his
era there was no DNA he never knew who
his birth parents were so at the Reunion
we hop on the internet and doesn’t take
long we identify his parents something
he could never do so as these DNA
there’s the chances are increasing that
many of you in this room will get a call
from a DNA relative and when you do help
them they’re trying to find a portion of
their identity they are trying to
overcome family secrets they are trying
to unseal sealed record
they’re trying to have a reunion with
their biological family I can tell you
uncertainty is B deviling and just
knowing correct the facts about yourself
makes anyone feel more complete and
isn’t the truth a good thing to share thank you
ago changed my life and it went like
hello is this Lola my name is bill
gladden I’m from Savannah Georgia and
I’m calling you this evening because I
was born in Miami Valley Hospital in
Dayton Ohio on December 15 1945 I have
reason to believe that you are my birth
mother I’m a happily married attorney I
have two children who would be your
beautiful grandchildren I don’t have any
financial needs or any psychological
needs I just thought that you would like
to know what happened and we would like
to meet you dead silence on the other
end during which my worst fears come out
that she will want to have nothing to do
with her past finally after the pause
the first words my mother ever spoke to
me bill is it I have no doubt but that
you are who you say you are
I have never explained you to my husband
or my family or anyone I need to have
some time to do that I said I understand
here’s my home phone number my work
phone number so that you can call back
when you wish and I hope it’s soon she
says thank you Bill
click that was quick would she have the
courage to explain me her secret to her
family would they be upset would they
sabotage the reunion that I had waited
so long for it all started with family
secrecy I never understood
why my adoptive parents Ken gliadin and
Kay gladden kept my adoption a secret I
loved them they loved me and when I
found out I was felt very lucky I felt
blessed particularly since right up the
street from our house was the county
orphanage there but for the grace of God
went I and I’m not the only one to feel
this way I have learned that there are
over 7 million adoptees in the United
States today the ones that I have talked
to all are very grateful for having been
adopted and look upon their adoptive
parents as their real parents but they
also tell me at some time in life it’s
natural they want to know more about
where they came from why they were
adopted do they have any medical
conditions they might have inherited do
what’s their ethnicity
do they have brothers and sisters have
didn’t get the urge to search until on
my 37th birthday my wife said something
very challenging to me it was different
it hit me right between the eyes
she said bill 37 years ago today a woman
gave you birth no she gave you life I
bet she had a very difficult time giving
you up I bet she would like to know how
well things have worked out for you and
that she has two beautiful grandchildren
she could dote upon yes I had always
felt a little lost but it was logical
that my birth mother would even have a
greater loss and my kids had one living
grandparent two more might be out there
so I’m thinking maybe I’ll search and in
thinking about that I had to overcome
the number one reason why many
Dottie’s don’t search and that is fear
of the unknown am i opening up a can of
worms
will they reject me am I going to find
some not so very nice people am I going
to be related to the Unabomber or
Kardashian’s room so I decided I am
going to do this fear isn’t going to get
in my way and so I charged right ahead
into the wall the wall is adoptees
learned that the state statutes allow
the custodians of their records to give
them non identifying descriptive
information which means they can tell
you the eye color of your mother the
hair color
her birthdate her religion her her work
choice or all kinds of things except
where do she is where to find her that’s
the end of it for almost all searches
you get that information that’s it
search over I was lucky I had some other
information I learned that I had a
brother named Terry so I go to the
County Courthouse and find the name
change record where I became bill
gladden and it said I was baby Clark so
I’ve got Terry Clark and a birthdate I
go to the state birth records there he
is his mother is Lola Clark her birth
date is the birth date in my adoption
records of my mother this is looking
like it I check driver’s license records
she’s driving around so she’s alive I
check business records she is listed as
the owner of the orchard in bar mom owns
a bar this is good this is getting good
she has a listed telephone number which
takes us back to the call and her need
to explain her big secret me to her
family and the next morning 8 o’clock
early phones ring it’s Lola
oh they’re ok with this they want to
meet you too so I take my family up to
meet her I can’t explain to you the
feeling of looking at your birth mother
for the first time there’s an aha moment
of familiarity on several very good
levels we spent the first day catching
up with each other taking legacy photos
and actually she spent much most of the
first day playing with her newly found
grandchildren at the end of the day she
said she pulls me closely and says I
want you to know that I am thrilled to
know that you were adopted at all that
was never a given I always thought that
it could be the worst and that it worked
out as well as I could have wished I got
to meet three siblings my favorite of
the three was Terry Clark Terry now
lives in Florida and he lives in a
nudist colony so I have to visit him
right away the bad news was that 37
years after a brief affair Lola
remembered very little about my birth
father so I had to sadly explain to my
children that there’s not enough
information we just never will know
anything about him then last fall I get
a call from my son he says dad I just
did this DNA kit you know where this is
going right
I just did this DNA kit and I’m closely
related to someone named Melinda I’ve
talked to her on the phone and we think
that maybe our families are related
through your missing birth father so I
said well let’s check that out so I
order the kit spit in the vial and send
it in
just like 15 million Americans have done
four million in the last year alone
it comes back 25% of your DNA matches
Melinda and Joanne 99% certainty they
are your half sisters so Facebook Joann
has a picture of her and her two
brothers Mike and Bill I’m Bill and I
have a brother Bill she has a picture of
her deceased father Ernest who would be
my father we had our first family
reunion last month at the family reunion
many of them thought I looked as much
like Ernest as anybody and they’re good
people I liked them they’re interesting
but most interesting was that my father
Ernest like me was adopted only in his
era there was no DNA he never knew who
his birth parents were so at the Reunion
we hop on the internet and doesn’t take
long we identify his parents something
he could never do so as these DNA
there’s the chances are increasing that
many of you in this room will get a call
from a DNA relative and when you do help
them they’re trying to find a portion of
their identity they are trying to
overcome family secrets they are trying
to unseal sealed record
they’re trying to have a reunion with
their biological family I can tell you
uncertainty is B deviling and just
knowing correct the facts about yourself
makes anyone feel more complete and
isn’t the truth a good thing to share thank you
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