thanks for nothing I didn’t see it
coming
one day I was a successful restaurant
tour in New York City and Nantucket
Island and three months later I had
nothing
my husband was facing the reality of a
sexual identity our beautiful Nantucket
home went into foreclosure and our two
thriving restaurants were reclaimed by
our investors and I was left with
nothing well not exactly nothing
I had my kids with no way to support
them but me I took full responsibility
for all three children one still in
diapers penniless and on unemployment I
was 40 years old I discovered Buddhism
through chanting nam-myoho-renge-kyo and
basing my life on this law of causing
effect I began to feel wisdom clarity
and access to my greatest potential this
was the key to transforming my
misfortune into fortune a sunray of hope
among a very scary reality losing it all
was life giving me the chance to start
fresh I had no one to rely on but myself
but thanks to my strong determination
and discipline I began to feel dialed
into my own unique path once I gained
the courage to return to my career as a
restaurateur and open refuel Oh a small
neighborhood cafe in Brookline I
struggled so much my very essence was
shaken to the core day to day I never
knew whether I would have the finances
to keep the doors open going to the bank
was gut-wrenching I tried to hold my
head high but I was ashamed of the
balances and the overdrafts in my
account my investors were beginning to
question my my direction and whether I
could succeed I worked day and night
going home late at night keeping the
household together cleaning up after the
dog we never could potty train
helping the kids with homework it seemed
never-ending I learned how to create
value in every single moment of the day
it was goddamn hard and not pretty but I
didn’t give up rising early every
morning leaving the house before the
kids I would go to work
scared shitless not knowing what I would
face or whether I would be capable of
handling it I didn’t know the community
and the community didn’t know me I was
under constant scrutiny from family
members and friends how was I going to
raise a six nine and thirteen year old
while simultaneously trying to build a
business to support us that consumed all
of my time I couldn’t even afford
childcare most of the time my kids were
left to their own devices which made me
feel horribly irresponsible watching
them take a heavy load of responsibility
with very few resources was painful I
often felt I had failed as a parent
balancing their needs with my
responsibilities stretched my life
beyond what I ever thought I was capable
of handling failing in this case was not
an option
my life was strengthening here is where
destiny meets reality because the
struggle that I went through to realize
a dream
the losing it all and the nothingness I
was left with was actually the catalyst
to transform my small shallow life into
a contributing community member a joyful
mother sister daughter aunt even ex-wife
with thriving kids and a successful
entrepreneur what I have gained is the
stand alone courage to be true to myself
and to be someone who could encourage
others to their own victories and
through all this muck and back-breaking
work something beautiful has evolved in
my family we have redefined our family
unit and we are so proud of its
diversity my kids now ages 10 13 and 16
are growing into young capable adults
they handle difficult situations with
deft and confidence they advocate for
themselves they care about and for other
people they clearly have seen the power
of perseverance and determination they
too have had to create value where there
was none and they too have benefited
from struggle and overcoming adversity
now that our needs are well met through
my thriving business I’m free to be the
complete person I want to be which
includes my desire to connect people
with food I have always felt like we can
change the world by breaking bread at
the table important conversations begin
at the table growing up in the Midwest
my memories of eating meals together
with friends and family gave me a sense
of confidence and community I want to
create this unity with my food the very
definition of refuel Oh a place where
people come together and meet
persevering through my darkest moments
has enabled me to fortify in strength in
my life not because I’ve done something
extraordinary but because I have broken
through my own narrow limitations and
out of myself when I see friends and
families and join meals together
newborn babies now walking in the door
in turns refueling for another shift my
89 year old good friend bill conversing
with high school teenagers I feel such
joy together with my customers where if
reuleaux has become a space where it
feels good to walk in the door it feels
good to support each other this is my
vision of community courage to me is
never giving up even though we may not
visibly see the outcome we are living in
an age now where society is deeply
lacking a sense of togetherness so what
can we do right now let’s take a look at
the family table that few join anymore
how have we lost the value of this
precious family time and how could we
reconnect with our families to get that
I’m excited to rush to the family table
and tell their memories of the day we
need this family table as I look back on
my life thus far I see clearly that it
is the challenges that we are faced with
that are the exact medicine we need in
order for us to create change in this
world
and right in our environment ironically
being given the chance to experience
life with nothing enables us the ability
to see what really matters in life
thank you
[Applause]
coming
one day I was a successful restaurant
tour in New York City and Nantucket
Island and three months later I had
nothing
my husband was facing the reality of a
sexual identity our beautiful Nantucket
home went into foreclosure and our two
thriving restaurants were reclaimed by
our investors and I was left with
nothing well not exactly nothing
I had my kids with no way to support
them but me I took full responsibility
for all three children one still in
diapers penniless and on unemployment I
was 40 years old I discovered Buddhism
through chanting nam-myoho-renge-kyo and
basing my life on this law of causing
effect I began to feel wisdom clarity
and access to my greatest potential this
was the key to transforming my
misfortune into fortune a sunray of hope
among a very scary reality losing it all
was life giving me the chance to start
fresh I had no one to rely on but myself
but thanks to my strong determination
and discipline I began to feel dialed
into my own unique path once I gained
the courage to return to my career as a
restaurateur and open refuel Oh a small
neighborhood cafe in Brookline I
struggled so much my very essence was
shaken to the core day to day I never
knew whether I would have the finances
to keep the doors open going to the bank
was gut-wrenching I tried to hold my
head high but I was ashamed of the
balances and the overdrafts in my
account my investors were beginning to
question my my direction and whether I
could succeed I worked day and night
going home late at night keeping the
household together cleaning up after the
dog we never could potty train
helping the kids with homework it seemed
never-ending I learned how to create
value in every single moment of the day
it was goddamn hard and not pretty but I
didn’t give up rising early every
morning leaving the house before the
kids I would go to work
scared shitless not knowing what I would
face or whether I would be capable of
handling it I didn’t know the community
and the community didn’t know me I was
under constant scrutiny from family
members and friends how was I going to
raise a six nine and thirteen year old
while simultaneously trying to build a
business to support us that consumed all
of my time I couldn’t even afford
childcare most of the time my kids were
left to their own devices which made me
feel horribly irresponsible watching
them take a heavy load of responsibility
with very few resources was painful I
often felt I had failed as a parent
balancing their needs with my
responsibilities stretched my life
beyond what I ever thought I was capable
of handling failing in this case was not
an option
my life was strengthening here is where
destiny meets reality because the
struggle that I went through to realize
a dream
the losing it all and the nothingness I
was left with was actually the catalyst
to transform my small shallow life into
a contributing community member a joyful
mother sister daughter aunt even ex-wife
with thriving kids and a successful
entrepreneur what I have gained is the
stand alone courage to be true to myself
and to be someone who could encourage
others to their own victories and
through all this muck and back-breaking
work something beautiful has evolved in
my family we have redefined our family
unit and we are so proud of its
diversity my kids now ages 10 13 and 16
are growing into young capable adults
they handle difficult situations with
deft and confidence they advocate for
themselves they care about and for other
people they clearly have seen the power
of perseverance and determination they
too have had to create value where there
was none and they too have benefited
from struggle and overcoming adversity
now that our needs are well met through
my thriving business I’m free to be the
complete person I want to be which
includes my desire to connect people
with food I have always felt like we can
change the world by breaking bread at
the table important conversations begin
at the table growing up in the Midwest
my memories of eating meals together
with friends and family gave me a sense
of confidence and community I want to
create this unity with my food the very
definition of refuel Oh a place where
people come together and meet
persevering through my darkest moments
has enabled me to fortify in strength in
my life not because I’ve done something
extraordinary but because I have broken
through my own narrow limitations and
out of myself when I see friends and
families and join meals together
newborn babies now walking in the door
in turns refueling for another shift my
89 year old good friend bill conversing
with high school teenagers I feel such
joy together with my customers where if
reuleaux has become a space where it
feels good to walk in the door it feels
good to support each other this is my
vision of community courage to me is
never giving up even though we may not
visibly see the outcome we are living in
an age now where society is deeply
lacking a sense of togetherness so what
can we do right now let’s take a look at
the family table that few join anymore
how have we lost the value of this
precious family time and how could we
reconnect with our families to get that
I’m excited to rush to the family table
and tell their memories of the day we
need this family table as I look back on
my life thus far I see clearly that it
is the challenges that we are faced with
that are the exact medicine we need in
order for us to create change in this
world
and right in our environment ironically
being given the chance to experience
life with nothing enables us the ability
to see what really matters in life
thank you
[Applause]
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