school and having a presenter come talk
to us about why if we ever saw a
refrigerator on the side of the road we
should not go inside of it being young I
often thought I knew the reason behind
things and often thought I was right as
many children do i disregarded people in
an authority as being unable to
contribute much to my strong opinions
and so as I was listening to this
presenter speak about the dangers of
discarded fridges all I kept thinking
was of course I want to go on a
refrigerator on the side of the road I
wonder what the garbage man to
accidentally pick me up and throw me
away you see the closer I listened to
this presenter speak
the sooner I realized the real reason I
should never go inside of a refrigerator
inside a fridge air is limited and if
you become stuck you would suffocate you
see often when you were young you form
misconceptions and little stories in
your head to piece together things you
don’t quite understand this is often
seen in victims of sexual abuse in
elementary schools it’s often not talked
about enough the detrimental effects of
sexual abuse on children in elementary
schools the fact that 90% of children
who have been sexually abused know their
perpetrators is simply skipped or
skimmed over you see I remember being
young and sitting in class and learning
about sexual abuse but I remember very
little we maybe had a class here and one
there but was always an awkward
conversation and not much was said
nobody mentioned you possibly could and
most often would know your perpetrator
and so I grew up forming the
misconception that sex offenders are
strangers people on the side of the
street or people that pull up in the big
white van with the free candy sign you
see this is rarely the case
as in my story you see my perpetrator
wasn’t known to the police he didn’t
have a criminal record or an uneasy
smile no my perpetrator was someone I
saw every single day someone put in
place to care for me he was my
stepfather this is not uncommon in fact
this most often is the case children in
this situation don’t know how to handle
their emotions it’s not talked about at
home and if it is parents don’t usually
discuss the likelihood of you knowing
your abuser children in this situation
have a sense of ashamed feeling have
ashamed feelings because they feel they
did something wrong
thus giving way to three reasons they do
not seek help
the first is fear of retaliation they
are afraid this person that’s been close
to their family and intertwined in their
lives will find a way to get back at
them for exposing the monster they are
or even hurt the people they love the
most another reason they do not tell is
they are afraid they’re going to ruin
the relationship in many cases including
mine I loved that person as children you
were taught to trust the people put in
place to protect you
thus conflicting with the very emotions
of being betrayed by someone you trusted
children believe they will not be
listened to they are afraid because they
have been so close to this person that
they will not be listened to if they
cannot tell their parents who can they
tell kids are at school roughly 6 hours
a day 6 hours worth of opportunity the
problem isn’t the lack of availability
on the teachers part it’s the door seems
closed the conversation isn’t open and
the child does not feel it is a topic
worth discussing children who have been
sexually abused cannot escape the
negative connotations that follow
something they are not responsible for
if we do not discuss the problem at a
young age we miss the chance to protect
our children our brain is a crazy
machine that does in imaginable things
and one of those things is to protect
yourself children who have been sexually
abused often block out memories to cope
with pain they endured and later in life
they will have a relapse or breaking
point
this can cause their life in all aspects
to fall apart children who are teachers
having open conversations with students
about the necessary steps to seek help
will save their future you see I hated
counseling I didn’t want to talk about
how I felt I was so anxious about it I’d
ask my mom to not tell me of my
appointments until the very day before
so I would only have a single day to
worry as much as I hated three years of
counseling and numerous excuses as to
why I was absent so often it built me
into a stronger person if I saw my
abuser today I could honestly tell him I
forgive him I couldn’t have done
counseling without my teacher as he shot
down my peers numerous questions as to
why was absent so often and helped
support me through those triggers and
struggles that first year 55% of
children who have been sexually abused
they’ve been abused in their homes
claiming the one place everybody should
feel safe teachers have a greater impact
on students lives than they could ever
know school was my safe place I wish I
would have realized sooner that friends
could love and support me through that
hard time I was convinced it was easier
to hide my story and this made me feel
like an outsider this feeling of
isolation was not something I needed to
feel as there were so many people who
wanted to love and support me you never
need to feel ashamed about being
sexually abused because you did nothing
wrong I cannot stress this enough no
matter what the case you did not deserve
it and you did absolutely nothing wrong
you do deserve to get to a place in
which you are happy and thriving seeking
help shows the word
old and your perpetrator how strong you
really are I urge you to never fear
sharing your story with your friends
although it may feel hard to talk about
at first your friends can then
understand why you act certain ways you
do through opening up this difficult
conversation we are helping children who
have been sexually abused to not fall
into a category or a statistic education
systems that focus on the dangers of
familiar faces are paving a safer future
in which everyone has the right to be
protected by those in authority this is
coming from someone who was once a
victim and is now a Victoire
my name’s jasmine your image and I’m
unstoppable thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause] [Music]