[Music]
I love my hair we have it has not always
been easy in fact 10 years ago I was
unable to wash my face with my eyes
closed
I lived in great fear and was too afraid
even in my own home as a grown married
professional adult to close my eyes and
let the water rush over my eyelids let
me rewind a little here 10 years at that
time my husband who is my fiance at the
time was assaulted in our apartment some
drunk teenagers were causing a ruckus
outside and Steve went down to tell them
to move along he came back up to her
apartment where I quietly worked I’m on
my final university papers and 20
five large men grabbed Steve and beat
him up in front of me they came back for
me but I was able to lock them out but
I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the sounds
of their screams and the way they kicked
out the door when the commotion died
down I found Steve laying on the hallway
of our apartment and I thought he was
dead in the days that passed I soon
found out that I had post-traumatic
stress disorder and extreme anxiety I
couldn’t sleep I had severe headaches
and when I did sleep my dreams revealed
the violence that I was trying to escape
I barely ate I stopped going out in
public and I stopped closing my eyes
when I wash my face through years of
counseling I was I was able to return
back to my regular habits I didn’t want
to because these new habits I had formed
we’re protecting me or so I thought if I
kept my eyes open when I washed my face
then I would know if someone were to
sneak up from behind if I check my
blinds enough then I would know if some
we’re approaching my house these parts
of me went into overdrive and worked
every second of the day
at protecting me even though I wasn’t in
danger anymore according to a Harvard
Business Review over 40% of our daily
lives are made up of habits a habit is
described as a regular tendency or
practice something that you do often and
regularly and something sometimes that
we don’t think about in other words over
half of our daily lives are made up of
the sub-conscience
patterns and actions that we aren’t
thinking about regular things that we do
like brushing our teeth or watching TV
or even eating healthy can become habits
today I’m here to tell you that
significant change can occur in your
life when we focus on the small things
that we do every single day Jhansi
Maxwell agrees he writes you’ll never
change your life until you change
something you do daily the secret of
your success is found in your daily
routine if habits make up 40% of our
days that I’m certain that PTSD made up
90 to 100 percent of my days because
that’s how often I thought about my
safety I knew I had to get better and I
didn’t want to live this way any longer
so I decided to start where was that
under the guidance of my counselor I
took the baby steps I needed to in order
to change my life I started by forcing
myself to not check the blinds once they
were down this was my goal for an entire
week and sometimes I failed I had to try
again day after day week after week I
tried not to double and triple check the
locks this took years I read books I
watch documentaries and I tried
desperately to understand why my brain
was leading me in this way today these
are not challenges that I face anymore
without an intention I have replaced
these habits with new healthier habits I
checking my blinds is not even something
that runs through my mind anymore
in fact I currently live in a house with
not a single blind or curtain and I’m
happy to let you know that I always
close my eyes when I wash my face habits
have changed my life in many ways habits
have changed my life many times I
believe that I’m going through tragedy
an understanding failure and just
brought me to exactly where I am today
after tackling my fears I decided to
pursue my dream of teaching and living
in the Middle East it was an amazing
time of growth and leadership while
there I subconsciously spent a lot of
time with my friends working on her
habits where once I did not feel safe in
my own home
I now found myself in a new home and in
a new culture and in the new country and
guess what I loved it
I felt brave and strong and was becoming
the version of myself that I truly want
it to be while there are my friends and
I trained to run races our training
included running through the streets
sometimes together and sometimes on our
own
I continued to feel my bravery
increasing we ate better we read books
and we reflected daily on the journey
where we were on and my life continued
to improve so how do we begin to create
these small positive changes in our
lives the first is to identify in order
to create good habits and eliminate the
bad we need to identify them we have to
take a moment and really think about our
life and decide which habits we want to
improve on Charles Duhigg in this book
the power of habit talks about the habit
loop his model includes a cue of routine
and a reward a cue is a trigger from the
environment which tells you which habit
to use next we have the routine which is
the action we take after we receive the
cue and finally we have the reward which
what we receive after we complete the
habit so in dealing with PTSD my cue was
a small sound or a thought the routine
was checking the doors and the blinds
and the reward was a false sense of
safety as you can see this is a slippery
slope and as the cycle continues and the
habits are repeated they become more and
more automatic for this reason rewiring
habits and in particular changing our
habits is very difficult but Charles
Duhigg writes habits aren’t destiny they
can be ignored changed or replaced but
it’s also true that once the loop is
established and habit emerges
your brain stops fully participating in
the decision-making so unless you
deliberately fight a habit unless you
find new cues and rewards the old
pattern will unfold automatically next
be realistic do you want to run a
triathlon or do you want to make your
bed every morning both are fantastic
goals but be realistic and start small
and be specific and be keep it simple
and consistent next make a plan
make a plan create a strategy and set
yourself up for success
write out several things that you can do
each day in order to help you reach your
goal accountability find an
accountability partner I can’t stress
this point enough at first from you this
was my counselor who I’m forever
grateful for later this became my
husband my sister’s my family and my
friends
these people are my foundation and
believed in me and encouraged me setting
herself with this type of foundation
will greatly increase your chances of
success finally focus focus on the
little things you’re doing every day not
the final goal it’s good to have big
goals and dreams but big goals and
dreams happen because small daily
finally continue don’t give up I wanted
to give up on so many occasions but that
would have been a life of fear my
husband always did what he could to
support me I convinced him that we
needed a dog new windows an alarm system
and new blinds and we got them all but
the problem didn’t go away I had to do
the inner work in order to keep going
every day and create a new life so will
it be hard absolutely and will you fail
probably but what if each person woke up
day after day week after week month
after month and year after year and
decided to live each day a little bit
better than the day before what if each
person committed to a lifelong journey
of learning and growing today I
encourage you to take a look at your
habits examine them appreciate them and
find ways to replace them if they’re no
longer serving you for you that may be
working out every day or simply eating a
few more vegetables we are all at a
different stage of our journey so find
out where you’re at where you can
improve and start there I love this
quote by Aristotle he says we are what
we repeatedly do excellence then is not
an act but a habit you are the one who
is in charge of the person that you will
become yes it will be hard and yes it
will take work but all of your small
successes will lead up to something a
little greater so wake up every morning
do your best and do it again and again
and again the beautiful part of this
life is that we get a new day every single day thank you
I love my hair we have it has not always
been easy in fact 10 years ago I was
unable to wash my face with my eyes
closed
I lived in great fear and was too afraid
even in my own home as a grown married
professional adult to close my eyes and
let the water rush over my eyelids let
me rewind a little here 10 years at that
time my husband who is my fiance at the
time was assaulted in our apartment some
drunk teenagers were causing a ruckus
outside and Steve went down to tell them
to move along he came back up to her
apartment where I quietly worked I’m on
my final university papers and 20
five large men grabbed Steve and beat
him up in front of me they came back for
me but I was able to lock them out but
I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the sounds
of their screams and the way they kicked
out the door when the commotion died
down I found Steve laying on the hallway
of our apartment and I thought he was
dead in the days that passed I soon
found out that I had post-traumatic
stress disorder and extreme anxiety I
couldn’t sleep I had severe headaches
and when I did sleep my dreams revealed
the violence that I was trying to escape
I barely ate I stopped going out in
public and I stopped closing my eyes
when I wash my face through years of
counseling I was I was able to return
back to my regular habits I didn’t want
to because these new habits I had formed
we’re protecting me or so I thought if I
kept my eyes open when I washed my face
then I would know if someone were to
sneak up from behind if I check my
blinds enough then I would know if some
we’re approaching my house these parts
of me went into overdrive and worked
every second of the day
at protecting me even though I wasn’t in
danger anymore according to a Harvard
Business Review over 40% of our daily
lives are made up of habits a habit is
described as a regular tendency or
practice something that you do often and
regularly and something sometimes that
we don’t think about in other words over
half of our daily lives are made up of
the sub-conscience
patterns and actions that we aren’t
thinking about regular things that we do
like brushing our teeth or watching TV
or even eating healthy can become habits
today I’m here to tell you that
significant change can occur in your
life when we focus on the small things
that we do every single day Jhansi
Maxwell agrees he writes you’ll never
change your life until you change
something you do daily the secret of
your success is found in your daily
routine if habits make up 40% of our
days that I’m certain that PTSD made up
90 to 100 percent of my days because
that’s how often I thought about my
safety I knew I had to get better and I
didn’t want to live this way any longer
so I decided to start where was that
under the guidance of my counselor I
took the baby steps I needed to in order
to change my life I started by forcing
myself to not check the blinds once they
were down this was my goal for an entire
week and sometimes I failed I had to try
again day after day week after week I
tried not to double and triple check the
locks this took years I read books I
watch documentaries and I tried
desperately to understand why my brain
was leading me in this way today these
are not challenges that I face anymore
without an intention I have replaced
these habits with new healthier habits I
checking my blinds is not even something
that runs through my mind anymore
in fact I currently live in a house with
not a single blind or curtain and I’m
happy to let you know that I always
close my eyes when I wash my face habits
have changed my life in many ways habits
have changed my life many times I
believe that I’m going through tragedy
an understanding failure and just
brought me to exactly where I am today
after tackling my fears I decided to
pursue my dream of teaching and living
in the Middle East it was an amazing
time of growth and leadership while
there I subconsciously spent a lot of
time with my friends working on her
habits where once I did not feel safe in
my own home
I now found myself in a new home and in
a new culture and in the new country and
guess what I loved it
I felt brave and strong and was becoming
the version of myself that I truly want
it to be while there are my friends and
I trained to run races our training
included running through the streets
sometimes together and sometimes on our
own
I continued to feel my bravery
increasing we ate better we read books
and we reflected daily on the journey
where we were on and my life continued
to improve so how do we begin to create
these small positive changes in our
lives the first is to identify in order
to create good habits and eliminate the
bad we need to identify them we have to
take a moment and really think about our
life and decide which habits we want to
improve on Charles Duhigg in this book
the power of habit talks about the habit
loop his model includes a cue of routine
and a reward a cue is a trigger from the
environment which tells you which habit
to use next we have the routine which is
the action we take after we receive the
cue and finally we have the reward which
what we receive after we complete the
habit so in dealing with PTSD my cue was
a small sound or a thought the routine
was checking the doors and the blinds
and the reward was a false sense of
safety as you can see this is a slippery
slope and as the cycle continues and the
habits are repeated they become more and
more automatic for this reason rewiring
habits and in particular changing our
habits is very difficult but Charles
Duhigg writes habits aren’t destiny they
can be ignored changed or replaced but
it’s also true that once the loop is
established and habit emerges
your brain stops fully participating in
the decision-making so unless you
deliberately fight a habit unless you
find new cues and rewards the old
pattern will unfold automatically next
be realistic do you want to run a
triathlon or do you want to make your
bed every morning both are fantastic
goals but be realistic and start small
and be specific and be keep it simple
and consistent next make a plan
make a plan create a strategy and set
yourself up for success
write out several things that you can do
each day in order to help you reach your
goal accountability find an
accountability partner I can’t stress
this point enough at first from you this
was my counselor who I’m forever
grateful for later this became my
husband my sister’s my family and my
friends
these people are my foundation and
believed in me and encouraged me setting
herself with this type of foundation
will greatly increase your chances of
success finally focus focus on the
little things you’re doing every day not
the final goal it’s good to have big
goals and dreams but big goals and
dreams happen because small daily
finally continue don’t give up I wanted
to give up on so many occasions but that
would have been a life of fear my
husband always did what he could to
support me I convinced him that we
needed a dog new windows an alarm system
and new blinds and we got them all but
the problem didn’t go away I had to do
the inner work in order to keep going
every day and create a new life so will
it be hard absolutely and will you fail
probably but what if each person woke up
day after day week after week month
after month and year after year and
decided to live each day a little bit
better than the day before what if each
person committed to a lifelong journey
of learning and growing today I
encourage you to take a look at your
habits examine them appreciate them and
find ways to replace them if they’re no
longer serving you for you that may be
working out every day or simply eating a
few more vegetables we are all at a
different stage of our journey so find
out where you’re at where you can
improve and start there I love this
quote by Aristotle he says we are what
we repeatedly do excellence then is not
an act but a habit you are the one who
is in charge of the person that you will
become yes it will be hard and yes it
will take work but all of your small
successes will lead up to something a
little greater so wake up every morning
do your best and do it again and again
and again the beautiful part of this
life is that we get a new day every single day thank you
Please follow and like us: