[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
how many of you have ever had to call
9-1-1 in my case have you made your life
lesson have you made your life event
begins with this number today I’d like
to share with you two perspectives on
how my life has been shaped by crisis
the first perspective comes from growing
up in the foster care system and the
second perspective comes from providing
kinship care to my niece and nephew
having lived in both systems I can tell
you that kinship care is a better way
forward
the first 9-1-1 call came when I was
four years old it was made by multiple
neighbors her descriptions coming to the
dispatch center that there’s a
four-year-old african-american boy in
the middle of the street screaming
crying alone we were stationed at Eglin
Air Force Base in Florida the military
police responded and discovered that my
parents had left me this problem exposed
the many incidents within our family
social services were offered but they
didn’t work later my parents decided to
separate and divorce my father stayed in
Florida my mom moved my two sisters and
I to Georgia to be closer to other
family unfortunately our problems
traveled with us to Georgia
my mom faced significant challenges a
short time after arrival a decision was
made to place me in the foster care
system I remember that day vividly a
social worker showed up to our house she
placed me in the back seat of a white
Ford Taurus and we drove away the street
lights disappeared they were replaced
with trees that swayed with the wind
traffic lights became stop signs urban
became rural imagine being six years old
sitting in the backseat of a car with
the stranger in the front seat as you
stare out the window to the unknown we
turned down Ashbury Road in Temple
Georgia and the trees faded into the
background they were replaced with
headstones and grave markers as we
passed the cemetery now my imagination
of what’s exactly about to happen this
strangers in the front seat is about to
kill me
and bury my body among the day and I’m
not about to let that happen because I’m
supposed to grow up to become the Red
Power Ranger the grave markers
disappeared and we turned left onto the
driveway of the Luke’s I sit in the den
while my caseworker met with my new
foster family I was afraid I was alone I
missed my family I saw a phone in the
kitchen decided to call the only number
I knew 9-1-1 the 9-1-1 operator picks up
and this is Adrienne I’ve been kidnapped
this lady’s about to kill me come and
get me hurry up and the night went off
writers well where are you I don’t know
but when you get past the graves take a
left
the Luke’s turned out to be a great
foster family I wish we had more foster
families like the Luke’s now if you’re a
foster parent where you thinking about
becoming a foster parent from the bottom
of my heart I say thank you there are
two things you should know about foster
care one foster care is not permanent it
was designed to be a temporary solution
to a family crisis it could never
replace being reunify with your family
or an adoption the second thing you
should know is that foster care is
change it changes you there are life
perspectives and experience that I have
that are often unmatched by my peers
that’s why I believe kinship care is a
better way forward and chances are
you’ve experienced kinship care or
provided kinship care and may not even
realize it how many of you’ve heard the
phrase it takes a village
that’s kinship most experts agree it
derives from ancient African cultures
where the collective responsibility of
raising the children was that of the
community how many of you can point to a
coach a mentor a colleague or a neighbor
who has had a major influence on your
life
that’s kin care and there’s a stark
difference between kin care and foster
care that difference became real to me
when I was 21 years old I remember that
day vividly just as I did
when I was 4 years old 6 years old 15
years old I had just worked a long shift
at a local video store I came home sat
down to a gourmet meal that consisted of
a ham and cheese sandwich and sour cream
and onion chips I’m still working on my
cooking skills by the way I turned on my
television the episode of the first 48
was on and my phone rings at the same
time so now I’m freaking out
mr. McLemore this is the Harrison
Township Sheriff’s Office there’s been a
situation involving your sister and her
children are you able to come and pick
them up if not there’s a social worker
here who will take the children and
place them in foster care my niece was
three no my niece was three my nephew
was one but let me be honest with you I
was not prepared to take them in now
don’t get me wrong I love my niece and
nephew I’ve been around them since birth
but I always reserved the uncle power to
give them back to their mom when we were
done hanging out this time was different
though as I was driving to the police
station I realized that this time that I
brought them home they were going to be
with me for the unforeseeable future I
also had to confront another issue that
at times in the past had truly paralyzed
me I would have to change my nephew’s
diapers
you laugh but I’m being serious up until
this point I’ve done a fantastic job
avoiding this duty I mean the smells the
amount of wipes you use to make yourself
feel safe and comfortable I was not
looking forward to it the first night
was rough the first month was stressful
my knees had nightmares
my nephew cried every night kinship was
hard I was overwhelmed there are things
that happen in kinship that boggle your
mind expectations and standards change
are elevated I went from being a
full-time working college student to a
full-time uncle dad to toddlers but my
prevailing thought throughout the entire
process was I didn’t want them separated
I didn’t want them with strangers
you see foster care tries to keep
siblings together but that doesn’t
always happen
and in fact of all the years and I spent
in foster care
I was never placed with my sisters if
next month next week next year you were
to get a phone call ask you to provide
care for someone you knew what would
your answer be currently there is no
state mandated training for kinship care
it’s a trial by fire situation but what
I want you to take away from my
interaction today is is that you don’t
have to be a KinderCare provider and go
out by a bunk beds and fill your fridge
with pizza rolls and Lunchables I didn’t
do that
let’s be ok I did that you can be a kin
care provider in your own way every day
you need three attributes the first is
you have to be king you have to be eager
it’s exciting it’s rewarding it’s
challenging one day you’re making big
decisions like their health and safety
the next day could be decisions
concerning what color hair ties do I
pack today second you must be informed I
believe we must do a better job of
asking more questions and seeking more
answers part of the problem in our
society today is that we tend to always
put our best selves forward we always
tend to put our best foot forward so
when a crisis emerges it often catches
us off guard
kinship is about being there for those
around you and it’s not by yourself I
remember doing my niece’s hair one time
or trying to do my niece’s hair one time
and after three hours of my first and
only attempt my niece and I reached a
compromise which involved we never
touching her hair again
but I would pack her hair bag and her
teachers would do her hair for her at
school the last thing you should know is
that you should be flexible you must be
able to think quickly on your feet and
expect the unexpected that’s it and I
submit to you that everyone in here
possesses these three attributes this is
one of my favorite pictures of my niece
and nephew oh they were back at home
with their mom I had picked them up to
hang out and as I was sitting there
watching them have this conversation I
realized that this is what it was all
about they were never with strangers
they were never separated and this photo
my nephew was explaining his first day
of school to his big sister this is the
essence of why it’s important to
maintain relationships within our
communities and maintain relationships
within our families as you think about
the current issues that plague our
society today I ask you to think about
what role do you play we’re all teachers
mentors coaches and we’re all kinship
care providers in our own way according
to the Ohio Department of Job and Family
Services there are 14 thousand children
in foster care there are 1,100 right
here in our community imagine if we had
enough people to step up and just help
out one child and one in certain
capacities just one child I’ve
identified at least 1154 kin care
providers in our community where did I
arrive at this number from that’s the
seating capacity of this sort out venue
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
how many of you have ever had to call
9-1-1 in my case have you made your life
lesson have you made your life event
begins with this number today I’d like
to share with you two perspectives on
how my life has been shaped by crisis
the first perspective comes from growing
up in the foster care system and the
second perspective comes from providing
kinship care to my niece and nephew
having lived in both systems I can tell
you that kinship care is a better way
forward
the first 9-1-1 call came when I was
four years old it was made by multiple
neighbors her descriptions coming to the
dispatch center that there’s a
four-year-old african-american boy in
the middle of the street screaming
crying alone we were stationed at Eglin
Air Force Base in Florida the military
police responded and discovered that my
parents had left me this problem exposed
the many incidents within our family
social services were offered but they
didn’t work later my parents decided to
separate and divorce my father stayed in
Florida my mom moved my two sisters and
I to Georgia to be closer to other
family unfortunately our problems
traveled with us to Georgia
my mom faced significant challenges a
short time after arrival a decision was
made to place me in the foster care
system I remember that day vividly a
social worker showed up to our house she
placed me in the back seat of a white
Ford Taurus and we drove away the street
lights disappeared they were replaced
with trees that swayed with the wind
traffic lights became stop signs urban
became rural imagine being six years old
sitting in the backseat of a car with
the stranger in the front seat as you
stare out the window to the unknown we
turned down Ashbury Road in Temple
Georgia and the trees faded into the
background they were replaced with
headstones and grave markers as we
passed the cemetery now my imagination
of what’s exactly about to happen this
strangers in the front seat is about to
kill me
and bury my body among the day and I’m
not about to let that happen because I’m
supposed to grow up to become the Red
Power Ranger the grave markers
disappeared and we turned left onto the
driveway of the Luke’s I sit in the den
while my caseworker met with my new
foster family I was afraid I was alone I
missed my family I saw a phone in the
kitchen decided to call the only number
I knew 9-1-1 the 9-1-1 operator picks up
and this is Adrienne I’ve been kidnapped
this lady’s about to kill me come and
get me hurry up and the night went off
writers well where are you I don’t know
but when you get past the graves take a
left
the Luke’s turned out to be a great
foster family I wish we had more foster
families like the Luke’s now if you’re a
foster parent where you thinking about
becoming a foster parent from the bottom
of my heart I say thank you there are
two things you should know about foster
care one foster care is not permanent it
was designed to be a temporary solution
to a family crisis it could never
replace being reunify with your family
or an adoption the second thing you
should know is that foster care is
change it changes you there are life
perspectives and experience that I have
that are often unmatched by my peers
that’s why I believe kinship care is a
better way forward and chances are
you’ve experienced kinship care or
provided kinship care and may not even
realize it how many of you’ve heard the
phrase it takes a village
that’s kinship most experts agree it
derives from ancient African cultures
where the collective responsibility of
raising the children was that of the
community how many of you can point to a
coach a mentor a colleague or a neighbor
who has had a major influence on your
life
that’s kin care and there’s a stark
difference between kin care and foster
care that difference became real to me
when I was 21 years old I remember that
day vividly just as I did
when I was 4 years old 6 years old 15
years old I had just worked a long shift
at a local video store I came home sat
down to a gourmet meal that consisted of
a ham and cheese sandwich and sour cream
and onion chips I’m still working on my
cooking skills by the way I turned on my
television the episode of the first 48
was on and my phone rings at the same
time so now I’m freaking out
mr. McLemore this is the Harrison
Township Sheriff’s Office there’s been a
situation involving your sister and her
children are you able to come and pick
them up if not there’s a social worker
here who will take the children and
place them in foster care my niece was
three no my niece was three my nephew
was one but let me be honest with you I
was not prepared to take them in now
don’t get me wrong I love my niece and
nephew I’ve been around them since birth
but I always reserved the uncle power to
give them back to their mom when we were
done hanging out this time was different
though as I was driving to the police
station I realized that this time that I
brought them home they were going to be
with me for the unforeseeable future I
also had to confront another issue that
at times in the past had truly paralyzed
me I would have to change my nephew’s
diapers
you laugh but I’m being serious up until
this point I’ve done a fantastic job
avoiding this duty I mean the smells the
amount of wipes you use to make yourself
feel safe and comfortable I was not
looking forward to it the first night
was rough the first month was stressful
my knees had nightmares
my nephew cried every night kinship was
hard I was overwhelmed there are things
that happen in kinship that boggle your
mind expectations and standards change
are elevated I went from being a
full-time working college student to a
full-time uncle dad to toddlers but my
prevailing thought throughout the entire
process was I didn’t want them separated
I didn’t want them with strangers
you see foster care tries to keep
siblings together but that doesn’t
always happen
and in fact of all the years and I spent
in foster care
I was never placed with my sisters if
next month next week next year you were
to get a phone call ask you to provide
care for someone you knew what would
your answer be currently there is no
state mandated training for kinship care
it’s a trial by fire situation but what
I want you to take away from my
interaction today is is that you don’t
have to be a KinderCare provider and go
out by a bunk beds and fill your fridge
with pizza rolls and Lunchables I didn’t
do that
let’s be ok I did that you can be a kin
care provider in your own way every day
you need three attributes the first is
you have to be king you have to be eager
it’s exciting it’s rewarding it’s
challenging one day you’re making big
decisions like their health and safety
the next day could be decisions
concerning what color hair ties do I
pack today second you must be informed I
believe we must do a better job of
asking more questions and seeking more
answers part of the problem in our
society today is that we tend to always
put our best selves forward we always
tend to put our best foot forward so
when a crisis emerges it often catches
us off guard
kinship is about being there for those
around you and it’s not by yourself I
remember doing my niece’s hair one time
or trying to do my niece’s hair one time
and after three hours of my first and
only attempt my niece and I reached a
compromise which involved we never
touching her hair again
but I would pack her hair bag and her
teachers would do her hair for her at
school the last thing you should know is
that you should be flexible you must be
able to think quickly on your feet and
expect the unexpected that’s it and I
submit to you that everyone in here
possesses these three attributes this is
one of my favorite pictures of my niece
and nephew oh they were back at home
with their mom I had picked them up to
hang out and as I was sitting there
watching them have this conversation I
realized that this is what it was all
about they were never with strangers
they were never separated and this photo
my nephew was explaining his first day
of school to his big sister this is the
essence of why it’s important to
maintain relationships within our
communities and maintain relationships
within our families as you think about
the current issues that plague our
society today I ask you to think about
what role do you play we’re all teachers
mentors coaches and we’re all kinship
care providers in our own way according
to the Ohio Department of Job and Family
Services there are 14 thousand children
in foster care there are 1,100 right
here in our community imagine if we had
enough people to step up and just help
out one child and one in certain
capacities just one child I’ve
identified at least 1154 kin care
providers in our community where did I
arrive at this number from that’s the
seating capacity of this sort out venue
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
Please follow and like us: