people have a perception that a beauty
queens life is perfect
our makeup was always done our hair is
perfectly quaffed
our teeth are always brilliantly white
and we never get dumped well I’m here to
tell you that I’m lucky if I get mascara
on in the morning my hair is normally up
in a ponytail and underneath a hat and
my dentist absolutely hates the fact
that I drink coffee oh and by the way
I’ve been dumped a lot at just mere
minutes old my biological father walked
into the hospital room held me in his
arms and promptly proceeded to hand me
back to my mother and walked out of my
life forever that was the first time I
was dumped obviously at mere minutes old
I didn’t realize that being dumped would
be a reoccurring theme in my life but
one that will propel me to some of the
greatest accomplishments I’ve made to
date see the story I just shared with
you I didn’t find out until I was 17
years old it was opening night of
musical my mom yelled up the steps she
needed to speak to me so I came flying
down the steps and into the dining room
I found her pacing I was losing patience
with her very quickly and I just said
mom what do you have to tell me that’s
so important what are you gonna tell me
that I’m adopted she stopped dead in her
tracks turned ghostly white and said how
did you know I didn’t she told me the
story I just shared with all of you and
then she went on to tell me that Clark
had adopted me when I was 8 years old
and that they were getting divorced and
she didn’t want me to find out that I
medical health professionals call things
like this adverse life events
the question I actually posed to all of
you in the audience is do we have the
right coping mechanisms to deal with
things like this to have great mental
health when we have adverse life events
normally we hear about poor coping
mechanisms but I’m here to share with
you today three positive coping
mechanisms I use every single time that
I am done the first of which is humor
humor is an antidote to stress it’s our
natural feel-good chemical second we
have affirmation this is a declaration
often I take my kids soap crayons and I
write on the mirror or on the bathroom
wall my affirmation for that day my
husband absolutely hates it and for
those of you in the audience who know
him you all know that he is a neat freak
but you know what it keeps my it keeps
me on that path of where I want to go
that day then we have redirection when
we have those adverse life events and we
need to take another direction it takes
commitment and with that commitment it
takes time that takes one second one
minute one hour one day at a time at age
13 I was in a pickle I had a deep
passion for soccer however we did not
have a girls team at my junior high I
was told there was no way I was ever
going to play on that boys team one boy
went as far as to come to my house hand
me a note and in big bold letters it
said you will never play on my team wow
I can’t even express the pain I felt by
being dumped by my peers especially by
the other girls who had a passion for
soccer as much as I did but you know
what I knew that I was destined to play
on that boys team
I knew it in my heart I knew it my
grandfather said to me Jenny don’t you
worry because you know what you’re gonna
have the last laugh I said why’s that
pop up
he said because you’re gonna beat him
all in the sprints I left a lot that
season I was usually first or second I
knew I wasn’t only gonna play on that
team but I was gonna be the best
I had a finite direction as to how it
was gonna get there I was gonna appeal
to the school board with a thousand
signatures and I was going to use title
nine which in short basically made sure
that you could not discriminate on the
basis of gender now it was not an easy
road for me but it’s one I am so
thankful for because of being dumped
that was the catalyst that allowed me to
go on to play Division one soccer and
then go on to play semi-professional
soccer and I’m proud to say that I still
play today and it’s usually on the boys
team 1994 the social event of the year
senior prom I’ve been dating a boy for
about three and a half years and I was
so excited to go I raced home from track
I got in the shower I had two
girlfriends coming over I was getting
ready to do their hair we were laughing
and carrying on it was about two hours
before the prom no boyfriend so I called
him at home he didn’t answer so I called
him at work he picked up said oh my gosh
I said what time you coming to get me
dead silence he replied I’m not going
you see even beauty queens get dumped on
prom night I hung up that phone I
started laughing because that was my way
of coping I turned to my aunt and my mom
and I said you know what I’ll go alone
then I thought about it for a few
minutes and I had a little bit of a
redirection I said I had to find myself
a prom date so I picked up the phone I
called my friend Matt I played soccer
with Matt on that boy’s team that I was
told I was never going to play on I say
hey Matt you want to go to the prom
tonight he thought I was joking
I quickly reassured him I was not and
about an hour and a half before the prom
his mom went and took him took him in
got a tuxedo my mom went and got these
beautiful white stem long red roses
because I didn’t have a car my aunt let
me her cherry red
Laer it was hot stuff I had to drive
because Matt was only in the tenth grade
and I’m pretty sure he didn’t have a
driver’s license I had the best night of
my life and it was all because I was
being dumped is something you need to
own I competed in pageants and I
competed 31 times I was told that I
wasn’t smart enough that I wasn’t tall
enough that I didn’t have the right
dresses one time I was told that I would
make a great plus-size model I was 125
pounds I was dumped over and over and
over again but on that thirty second try
I won Miss Delaware USA right here thank
you when I went to Nationals I placed a
thin interview I was so proud of myself
but the reason I did so well in that
interview was because I had 31 times the
practice but the better part was I
learned interview skills and that’s a
skill set that will last me a lifetime
and it’s given me so many opportunities
since then so if being dumb 31 times
wasn’t enough I decided to throw my hat
into the ring an audition for film and
television sometimes you get dumped
three four or five times a week
sometimes twice in one day
and what felt like the thousandth time
that I was going to be dumped I send an
application in for MasterChef USA and I
received an email back and it said you
know what come join us you have a
preferred time but bring your signature
dish with you I was like alright I can
do this
the only problem was that I was in
upstate New York I was judging the mrs.
New York pageant I was judging the mrs.
Pennsylvania pageant on that Saturday
night but I had to be in Manhattan at
9:45 on Sunday morning so I went and I
bought an electric skillet I packed all
my ingredients on ice yeah God make sure
you get the ice I got four bricks from a
local hardware store and I prayed for
the best I arrived at that hotel I saw
it off the chef’s and I said hey chef I
need a big favor from you can you please
put these bricks in your oven at 4 a.m.
and heat them up to 500 degrees
he looked at me like I was crazy I
needed them to make a homemade hot box
and at 4:00 in the morning I made lamb
chops a sage brown butter sauce and I
steamed a lobster yeah girl you get it
you better believe I was going to wind
I brought my signature dish my I brought
my signature dish and it was my own surf
and turf
I packed that stuff into the hotbox I
drove two and a half hours into the city
and I hoped I did not poison anyone that
day I went through the tasting I went
through a culinary terms test and I
finally made it to meeting the casting
directors I walked into that casting
director I looked down the line I looked
down the other line I thought oh my gosh
I am the only female here with all male
applicants I recalled being on that boys
soccer team and I thought I know how to
handle myself here I’m gonna be
quick-witted and I’m gonna beat them all
to the punch I’m gonna make them
remember me well after six additional
interviews 30,000 applicants I was
invited to Los Angeles I got there and
and there were a hundred of us invited
to cook for Joe Bastianich Gordon Ramsay
and Graham Elliot you know Jill walked
up to me while I was cooking one time
and he looked at my addition he said
what is this
people think you should you be scared of
Gordon Ramsay let me tell you Joe
Bastianich is the one you should be
terrified of he looked at me and he said
I can’t even believe you would make this
on this show picked up my dish and said
this is a disgrace and he dumped it
right into the trash can I knew I was
better than that
so you know what I did I went back right
back to my hotel room I grabbed my soap
I wrote on that Mir Jennifer you will be
the next MasterChef I went to the
library I studied you see we had no
interaction with the outside world
we had no cell phones no access to
Internet couldn’t tell anybody why we
were there they even took our food
channels away I just studied I wanted to
go into the next competition with a
framework and for the next 45 days I
looked at that mirror and on that finale
day I looked at the mayor and I said
in my best Gordon Ramsay accent Jennifer
you are the next masterchef pretty bad
accent you know when Joe dumped my dish
into that trash can it triggered
something inside of me I left I said you
know what Joe you’re right it is an
awful dish and I knew why I was there I
was there to win I had a retake a
redirection and make sure I didn’t go
home before I was supposed to I went on
to win Miss MasterChef USA
I’ve cooked for the vice president I’ve
met the Joint Chiefs of Staff I’ve
walked red carpets I’ve made friendships
of a lifetime I’ve sat with kids that
are terminally ill and because of that
show I now with my wildly talented
husband owned one of the best
restaurants in the Greater Boston area
oh yeah you gotta love food so I tell
you and I challenge you each and every
one of you I want you to shake it off
everybody in your seat shake it off and
then next time somebody dumps you what
are we gonna do we’re gonna use humor
right we’re gonna laugh so everybody
give me a good laugh and then we’re
gonna use affirmation cuz you know what
you want to accomplish and then we’re
gonna redirect and I want you to
remember that being dumped isn’t always a negative thing thank you
queens life is perfect
our makeup was always done our hair is
perfectly quaffed
our teeth are always brilliantly white
and we never get dumped well I’m here to
tell you that I’m lucky if I get mascara
on in the morning my hair is normally up
in a ponytail and underneath a hat and
my dentist absolutely hates the fact
that I drink coffee oh and by the way
I’ve been dumped a lot at just mere
minutes old my biological father walked
into the hospital room held me in his
arms and promptly proceeded to hand me
back to my mother and walked out of my
life forever that was the first time I
was dumped obviously at mere minutes old
I didn’t realize that being dumped would
be a reoccurring theme in my life but
one that will propel me to some of the
greatest accomplishments I’ve made to
date see the story I just shared with
you I didn’t find out until I was 17
years old it was opening night of
musical my mom yelled up the steps she
needed to speak to me so I came flying
down the steps and into the dining room
I found her pacing I was losing patience
with her very quickly and I just said
mom what do you have to tell me that’s
so important what are you gonna tell me
that I’m adopted she stopped dead in her
tracks turned ghostly white and said how
did you know I didn’t she told me the
story I just shared with all of you and
then she went on to tell me that Clark
had adopted me when I was 8 years old
and that they were getting divorced and
she didn’t want me to find out that I
medical health professionals call things
like this adverse life events
the question I actually posed to all of
you in the audience is do we have the
right coping mechanisms to deal with
things like this to have great mental
health when we have adverse life events
normally we hear about poor coping
mechanisms but I’m here to share with
you today three positive coping
mechanisms I use every single time that
I am done the first of which is humor
humor is an antidote to stress it’s our
natural feel-good chemical second we
have affirmation this is a declaration
often I take my kids soap crayons and I
write on the mirror or on the bathroom
wall my affirmation for that day my
husband absolutely hates it and for
those of you in the audience who know
him you all know that he is a neat freak
but you know what it keeps my it keeps
me on that path of where I want to go
that day then we have redirection when
we have those adverse life events and we
need to take another direction it takes
commitment and with that commitment it
takes time that takes one second one
minute one hour one day at a time at age
13 I was in a pickle I had a deep
passion for soccer however we did not
have a girls team at my junior high I
was told there was no way I was ever
going to play on that boys team one boy
went as far as to come to my house hand
me a note and in big bold letters it
said you will never play on my team wow
I can’t even express the pain I felt by
being dumped by my peers especially by
the other girls who had a passion for
soccer as much as I did but you know
what I knew that I was destined to play
on that boys team
I knew it in my heart I knew it my
grandfather said to me Jenny don’t you
worry because you know what you’re gonna
have the last laugh I said why’s that
pop up
he said because you’re gonna beat him
all in the sprints I left a lot that
season I was usually first or second I
knew I wasn’t only gonna play on that
team but I was gonna be the best
I had a finite direction as to how it
was gonna get there I was gonna appeal
to the school board with a thousand
signatures and I was going to use title
nine which in short basically made sure
that you could not discriminate on the
basis of gender now it was not an easy
road for me but it’s one I am so
thankful for because of being dumped
that was the catalyst that allowed me to
go on to play Division one soccer and
then go on to play semi-professional
soccer and I’m proud to say that I still
play today and it’s usually on the boys
team 1994 the social event of the year
senior prom I’ve been dating a boy for
about three and a half years and I was
so excited to go I raced home from track
I got in the shower I had two
girlfriends coming over I was getting
ready to do their hair we were laughing
and carrying on it was about two hours
before the prom no boyfriend so I called
him at home he didn’t answer so I called
him at work he picked up said oh my gosh
I said what time you coming to get me
dead silence he replied I’m not going
you see even beauty queens get dumped on
prom night I hung up that phone I
started laughing because that was my way
of coping I turned to my aunt and my mom
and I said you know what I’ll go alone
then I thought about it for a few
minutes and I had a little bit of a
redirection I said I had to find myself
a prom date so I picked up the phone I
called my friend Matt I played soccer
with Matt on that boy’s team that I was
told I was never going to play on I say
hey Matt you want to go to the prom
tonight he thought I was joking
I quickly reassured him I was not and
about an hour and a half before the prom
his mom went and took him took him in
got a tuxedo my mom went and got these
beautiful white stem long red roses
because I didn’t have a car my aunt let
me her cherry red
Laer it was hot stuff I had to drive
because Matt was only in the tenth grade
and I’m pretty sure he didn’t have a
driver’s license I had the best night of
my life and it was all because I was
being dumped is something you need to
own I competed in pageants and I
competed 31 times I was told that I
wasn’t smart enough that I wasn’t tall
enough that I didn’t have the right
dresses one time I was told that I would
make a great plus-size model I was 125
pounds I was dumped over and over and
over again but on that thirty second try
I won Miss Delaware USA right here thank
you when I went to Nationals I placed a
thin interview I was so proud of myself
but the reason I did so well in that
interview was because I had 31 times the
practice but the better part was I
learned interview skills and that’s a
skill set that will last me a lifetime
and it’s given me so many opportunities
since then so if being dumb 31 times
wasn’t enough I decided to throw my hat
into the ring an audition for film and
television sometimes you get dumped
three four or five times a week
sometimes twice in one day
and what felt like the thousandth time
that I was going to be dumped I send an
application in for MasterChef USA and I
received an email back and it said you
know what come join us you have a
preferred time but bring your signature
dish with you I was like alright I can
do this
the only problem was that I was in
upstate New York I was judging the mrs.
New York pageant I was judging the mrs.
Pennsylvania pageant on that Saturday
night but I had to be in Manhattan at
9:45 on Sunday morning so I went and I
bought an electric skillet I packed all
my ingredients on ice yeah God make sure
you get the ice I got four bricks from a
local hardware store and I prayed for
the best I arrived at that hotel I saw
it off the chef’s and I said hey chef I
need a big favor from you can you please
put these bricks in your oven at 4 a.m.
and heat them up to 500 degrees
he looked at me like I was crazy I
needed them to make a homemade hot box
and at 4:00 in the morning I made lamb
chops a sage brown butter sauce and I
steamed a lobster yeah girl you get it
you better believe I was going to wind
I brought my signature dish my I brought
my signature dish and it was my own surf
and turf
I packed that stuff into the hotbox I
drove two and a half hours into the city
and I hoped I did not poison anyone that
day I went through the tasting I went
through a culinary terms test and I
finally made it to meeting the casting
directors I walked into that casting
director I looked down the line I looked
down the other line I thought oh my gosh
I am the only female here with all male
applicants I recalled being on that boys
soccer team and I thought I know how to
handle myself here I’m gonna be
quick-witted and I’m gonna beat them all
to the punch I’m gonna make them
remember me well after six additional
interviews 30,000 applicants I was
invited to Los Angeles I got there and
and there were a hundred of us invited
to cook for Joe Bastianich Gordon Ramsay
and Graham Elliot you know Jill walked
up to me while I was cooking one time
and he looked at my addition he said
what is this
people think you should you be scared of
Gordon Ramsay let me tell you Joe
Bastianich is the one you should be
terrified of he looked at me and he said
I can’t even believe you would make this
on this show picked up my dish and said
this is a disgrace and he dumped it
right into the trash can I knew I was
better than that
so you know what I did I went back right
back to my hotel room I grabbed my soap
I wrote on that Mir Jennifer you will be
the next MasterChef I went to the
library I studied you see we had no
interaction with the outside world
we had no cell phones no access to
Internet couldn’t tell anybody why we
were there they even took our food
channels away I just studied I wanted to
go into the next competition with a
framework and for the next 45 days I
looked at that mirror and on that finale
day I looked at the mayor and I said
in my best Gordon Ramsay accent Jennifer
you are the next masterchef pretty bad
accent you know when Joe dumped my dish
into that trash can it triggered
something inside of me I left I said you
know what Joe you’re right it is an
awful dish and I knew why I was there I
was there to win I had a retake a
redirection and make sure I didn’t go
home before I was supposed to I went on
to win Miss MasterChef USA
I’ve cooked for the vice president I’ve
met the Joint Chiefs of Staff I’ve
walked red carpets I’ve made friendships
of a lifetime I’ve sat with kids that
are terminally ill and because of that
show I now with my wildly talented
husband owned one of the best
restaurants in the Greater Boston area
oh yeah you gotta love food so I tell
you and I challenge you each and every
one of you I want you to shake it off
everybody in your seat shake it off and
then next time somebody dumps you what
are we gonna do we’re gonna use humor
right we’re gonna laugh so everybody
give me a good laugh and then we’re
gonna use affirmation cuz you know what
you want to accomplish and then we’re
gonna redirect and I want you to
remember that being dumped isn’t always a negative thing thank you
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