addicts and alcoholics suffer from
something we like to call terminal
uniqueness terminal uniqueness is the
condition where you think you are the
only person in the world the bad things
happen – this is me at 12 years old
normal in the sense that I look like the
rest of my peers I have acne I have
braces I’m awkward abnormal in the sense
that this year that I found out I was
adopted not only was I adopted I was
given this bit of information I was the
i-75 baby I was born two months
premature left in an ant pile and I only
weighed 3.2 pounds now this was too much
for my mind to cope with because I
became instantly unique compared to my
peers so the way that I chose to fit in
was to use drugs so by 16 years old I
was an avid cocaine user and drinker not
only was I a drinker I was a blackout
drinker I realized at that very young
age that I was different compared to my
peers my peers would drink and go home
and I would drink and blackout and so I
walked into my very first day a meeting
at 16 in my bishop Kenny uniform
now I remember looking around I realized
everybody was about a generation younger
than me and I felt totally disconnected
so I left and I continued to drink in
use at 20 years old I joined the United
States military for the first time since
I was 12 years old I looked around and I
fit in these were my people we all had
the same common goal of serving our
nation and doing it with honor my
excitement was short-lived though
because as I looked around the platoon I
realized that I was different
my hands were shaking and I was really
hating life I was going through my first
ever detox and so I tried to mask my
symptoms the best I could because I did
not want to stand out and when I joined
the military I went right back to
drinking after basic because the
military is known for its drinking
culture at 22 years old
I was in a foreign country and I was
arrested and I was facing 14 years in a
foreign prison during an alcohol-related
incident who would I guess so as I
walked into the military lawyer’s office
I looked around at the white board I saw
all of the names all of their ranks and
all of their crimes and I realized I
wasn’t that unique alcoholism was
rampant in the military so the army sent
me to treatment and when I got to
treatment I was the youngest the only
female and the lowest ranking and so
when I looked around and I was there
with seaman airmen Marines and the army
we all had the one common goal of
quitting drinking and when we started
trading stories I realized I was not
that unique they drank like I drank and
we ended up here together
I had therefore more very successful
years in the military and I came home at
26 I was placed in a reserve unit
because I needed my knee replaced but
there was a massive problem I was a
raging alcoholic
so my friends they packed me up in a
vehicle and they took me to an
Alcoholics Anonymous meeting I remember
when I walked in I looked around and I
knew that I deserved to be there so I
started listening I was not very
receptive because I was an angry
alcoholic and I was I thought I was not
worthy a little bit of living so I
flipped tables I broke coffee pots I
yelled at those people and it was the
first time in my life that somebody help
me flip those tables back over and told
me to sit down and to keep coming back
it was the first time in a very long
time that somebody told me to come back
somewhere and so the cornerstone of a a
that I took away was service to others
now going to Catholic school my entire
life service was nothing new to me
service is part of our curriculum then
when I join the military
it was just added on and so what I did I
started walking around the streets of
downtown Jacksonville now at 27 years
old I was finally done with the military
I was medically discharged but my
identity was taken from me and an
instant and everything changed so I was
a year sober and they had promised me in
AAA that I was going to have a happy
joyous and free life but I was miserable
and so feeling disconnected from my
community I tried to take my life
one day after a noon meeting of
Alcoholics Anonymous a woman came up to
me and she said Kati you ever thought
about helping veterans here at home I
said no because I’m a selfish
self-centered human being as an
alcoholic of course I never thought of
helping people that made it back and so
I started wandering around the downtown
Jacksonville talking to the homeless and
little by little I heard my pain in
theirs and their pain in mind and I was
connected through them through suffering
and disconnection and so over time I
started volunteering a lot of my time in
the homeless shelters and I found Chris
chris is an Army veteran that needed a
hand up in life and so I took him into
my home and I found him a job and I got
him an apartment and three years later
he is still in the same job and in the
same apartment and finally finally I
understood what it meant when they told
me that I would give away what was so
freely given to me a happy joyous and
free life because when I walked around
the streets of downtown Jacksonville I
connected with the homeless because I
was born into homelessness and chaos and
that’s where I thrived and addicts and
alcoholics the only thing that has ever
said between us is me to the commonality
of me two breaks this stigma
and so this change has never been more
apparent in myself than in this last
year and a half I asked for a DNA test
from ancestry.com on the fair chance
that I would match somebody the results
were in eight weeks later and lo and
behold I matched somebody so in my 29
years of being alive at this point I had
thought that my mother was a prostitute
a drug addict an unwed Catholic mother
who would have guessed she was none of
those things she was 33 she was married
with seven kids and she continued to
have children after me I am one of
eleven and so I went down and I met this
woman and I sat across from her and I
was able to have an open and honest
conversation and I forgave her not for
her but for me because it turns out when
you do the right thing in the world
people start watching and they start
recognizing what you’re doing and so I
started winning awards for what I was
doing in the homeless community here in
Jacksonville the first one I won they
put my face on a banner they put it in
the City Hall atrium which I thought was
cool but I had won the service and
uniform award for hands-on Jacksonville
if anybody knows Cabot cheese is a
collective of farmers from around the
country now once a year they get
together as a collective and they
recognize 50 volunteers from around the
country for the good they do for their
community last year I got picked and
they sent me on an Alaskan cruise this
is me and my dad and it happens to be
his 70th birthday and I got to take him
on the cruise with me and this was the
first time one of the first times I knew
for a fact that my dad was proud of who
I became the last will award I won
interesting because it came from the
President of the United States me an
addict and an alcoholic and a lot of
other things I was being recognized for
the good that I was putting into this
world because it turns out when you put
good into the world everybody recognizes
it now the last of my terminal
uniqueness ended in this year on
February 10th of this year I got a phone
call from ancestry
I had another full-blooded sibling now
within our first conversation I realized
I was no longer unique we have the same
birth story left on the side of the road
in Gainesville she was left 10 months
prior so if you’re keeping count that’s
now 12 and this is me and my sister I
met her a month ago my story is unique
but so is yours the commonality we have
is that we all suffer and we all feel
get disconnected at times now whether
it’s you use drugs you drink you work
too much you overeat we all find ways to
get us out of us I found myself when I
started giving back to the community
there was no uniqueness there was no
need to use a drink anymore no I am
Katie the child that was left on the
side of the road I am Katie the child
that was adopted and loved I am Katie
the soldier the addict the alcoholic but
most importantly I’m Katie the servant who are you
something we like to call terminal
uniqueness terminal uniqueness is the
condition where you think you are the
only person in the world the bad things
happen – this is me at 12 years old
normal in the sense that I look like the
rest of my peers I have acne I have
braces I’m awkward abnormal in the sense
that this year that I found out I was
adopted not only was I adopted I was
given this bit of information I was the
i-75 baby I was born two months
premature left in an ant pile and I only
weighed 3.2 pounds now this was too much
for my mind to cope with because I
became instantly unique compared to my
peers so the way that I chose to fit in
was to use drugs so by 16 years old I
was an avid cocaine user and drinker not
only was I a drinker I was a blackout
drinker I realized at that very young
age that I was different compared to my
peers my peers would drink and go home
and I would drink and blackout and so I
walked into my very first day a meeting
at 16 in my bishop Kenny uniform
now I remember looking around I realized
everybody was about a generation younger
than me and I felt totally disconnected
so I left and I continued to drink in
use at 20 years old I joined the United
States military for the first time since
I was 12 years old I looked around and I
fit in these were my people we all had
the same common goal of serving our
nation and doing it with honor my
excitement was short-lived though
because as I looked around the platoon I
realized that I was different
my hands were shaking and I was really
hating life I was going through my first
ever detox and so I tried to mask my
symptoms the best I could because I did
not want to stand out and when I joined
the military I went right back to
drinking after basic because the
military is known for its drinking
culture at 22 years old
I was in a foreign country and I was
arrested and I was facing 14 years in a
foreign prison during an alcohol-related
incident who would I guess so as I
walked into the military lawyer’s office
I looked around at the white board I saw
all of the names all of their ranks and
all of their crimes and I realized I
wasn’t that unique alcoholism was
rampant in the military so the army sent
me to treatment and when I got to
treatment I was the youngest the only
female and the lowest ranking and so
when I looked around and I was there
with seaman airmen Marines and the army
we all had the one common goal of
quitting drinking and when we started
trading stories I realized I was not
that unique they drank like I drank and
we ended up here together
I had therefore more very successful
years in the military and I came home at
26 I was placed in a reserve unit
because I needed my knee replaced but
there was a massive problem I was a
raging alcoholic
so my friends they packed me up in a
vehicle and they took me to an
Alcoholics Anonymous meeting I remember
when I walked in I looked around and I
knew that I deserved to be there so I
started listening I was not very
receptive because I was an angry
alcoholic and I was I thought I was not
worthy a little bit of living so I
flipped tables I broke coffee pots I
yelled at those people and it was the
first time in my life that somebody help
me flip those tables back over and told
me to sit down and to keep coming back
it was the first time in a very long
time that somebody told me to come back
somewhere and so the cornerstone of a a
that I took away was service to others
now going to Catholic school my entire
life service was nothing new to me
service is part of our curriculum then
when I join the military
it was just added on and so what I did I
started walking around the streets of
downtown Jacksonville now at 27 years
old I was finally done with the military
I was medically discharged but my
identity was taken from me and an
instant and everything changed so I was
a year sober and they had promised me in
AAA that I was going to have a happy
joyous and free life but I was miserable
and so feeling disconnected from my
community I tried to take my life
one day after a noon meeting of
Alcoholics Anonymous a woman came up to
me and she said Kati you ever thought
about helping veterans here at home I
said no because I’m a selfish
self-centered human being as an
alcoholic of course I never thought of
helping people that made it back and so
I started wandering around the downtown
Jacksonville talking to the homeless and
little by little I heard my pain in
theirs and their pain in mind and I was
connected through them through suffering
and disconnection and so over time I
started volunteering a lot of my time in
the homeless shelters and I found Chris
chris is an Army veteran that needed a
hand up in life and so I took him into
my home and I found him a job and I got
him an apartment and three years later
he is still in the same job and in the
same apartment and finally finally I
understood what it meant when they told
me that I would give away what was so
freely given to me a happy joyous and
free life because when I walked around
the streets of downtown Jacksonville I
connected with the homeless because I
was born into homelessness and chaos and
that’s where I thrived and addicts and
alcoholics the only thing that has ever
said between us is me to the commonality
of me two breaks this stigma
and so this change has never been more
apparent in myself than in this last
year and a half I asked for a DNA test
from ancestry.com on the fair chance
that I would match somebody the results
were in eight weeks later and lo and
behold I matched somebody so in my 29
years of being alive at this point I had
thought that my mother was a prostitute
a drug addict an unwed Catholic mother
who would have guessed she was none of
those things she was 33 she was married
with seven kids and she continued to
have children after me I am one of
eleven and so I went down and I met this
woman and I sat across from her and I
was able to have an open and honest
conversation and I forgave her not for
her but for me because it turns out when
you do the right thing in the world
people start watching and they start
recognizing what you’re doing and so I
started winning awards for what I was
doing in the homeless community here in
Jacksonville the first one I won they
put my face on a banner they put it in
the City Hall atrium which I thought was
cool but I had won the service and
uniform award for hands-on Jacksonville
if anybody knows Cabot cheese is a
collective of farmers from around the
country now once a year they get
together as a collective and they
recognize 50 volunteers from around the
country for the good they do for their
community last year I got picked and
they sent me on an Alaskan cruise this
is me and my dad and it happens to be
his 70th birthday and I got to take him
on the cruise with me and this was the
first time one of the first times I knew
for a fact that my dad was proud of who
I became the last will award I won
interesting because it came from the
President of the United States me an
addict and an alcoholic and a lot of
other things I was being recognized for
the good that I was putting into this
world because it turns out when you put
good into the world everybody recognizes
it now the last of my terminal
uniqueness ended in this year on
February 10th of this year I got a phone
call from ancestry
I had another full-blooded sibling now
within our first conversation I realized
I was no longer unique we have the same
birth story left on the side of the road
in Gainesville she was left 10 months
prior so if you’re keeping count that’s
now 12 and this is me and my sister I
met her a month ago my story is unique
but so is yours the commonality we have
is that we all suffer and we all feel
get disconnected at times now whether
it’s you use drugs you drink you work
too much you overeat we all find ways to
get us out of us I found myself when I
started giving back to the community
there was no uniqueness there was no
need to use a drink anymore no I am
Katie the child that was left on the
side of the road I am Katie the child
that was adopted and loved I am Katie
the soldier the addict the alcoholic but
most importantly I’m Katie the servant who are you
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