change is an inseparable part of nature
seasons come and go species adapt over
time
yet somehow humans nature’s own creation
are adverse this change we structure our
lives according to routine we dread the
uncertain we prefer straight paths high
school to college to job over more
circuitous journeys gap year
entrepreneurship living abroad but don’t
just take my word for it
a transferwise poll found that 65% of
Americans would not consider moving
abroad a Pew Research Center survey
found that 57% have never lived outside
their home state and the corpus striatum
located at the center of your brain
literally sends out waves of dopamine to
trigger discomfort in the face of the
unfamiliar okay well so what you may be
asking yourselves what if I am a little
set in my ways can anyone really blame
me
why should I embrace change when I can
hold on to what’s right in front of me
to what’s here and what certain my name
is Markham arsons
and I’m living proof that change can be
an agent for good I was three years old
when my father died there were no
medical indications no hereditary
prophecies out of thin air just like
that he vanished from our lives in his
passings wake my mother resumed her
professional career and I remember
missing her bedtime stories as she spent
late nights in the office my siblings
and I grew rather accustomed to spending
our evenings with nannies that was the
first change change came about again a
few years later when my mother fell in
love and we moved from Spain to Italy
for a fresh start the combination of a
new father and a new land was both
daunting and exhilarating
I had to adjust to a new country a new
culture a new language new friends and
above all a new Guardian as my sister
once satirically remarked it wasn’t a
new chapter it was more like a new book
after five wonderful years in Florence
we moved again this time to America like
the others the transition presented its
own obstacles and teachings my sister
off to college and brother attending
boarding school I learned what it meant
to be an only child as a way to keep
myself busy I picked up an instrument
learned a new language even competed in
local science fairs that was changed 3
although I didn’t know it then all these
changes all these wild and unfamiliar
circumstances pushed me to become a more
curious and flexible individual
qualities that ultimately helped
facilitate my next journey boarding
school at first I was uneasy about
leaving home but in hindsight I’m really
glad I did in a word boarding school
gave me the opportunity to seize agency
of both my purpose and my mission I
learned independence I found both
academic and athletic mentors I made
lifelong memories alongside some of the
most intellectually vibrant and affable
people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting
but perhaps most importantly I delineate
it as my school motto says what it means
to be worthy so that’s a fair share
about me but what has changed mean to
you and how can it make a positive
difference in your life I’d like to
emphasize three pillars three
manifestations of the embrace change
spirit number one embracing change is
about open-mindedness one of my favorite
quotes of all time is from French author
and rag’d he said man cannot discover
new oceans unless he has the courage to
I first arrived in Florence I quickly
realized the experience would be what I
made of it I could be the shy
expatriates and believe me I saw plenty
of them or I could buy in and start to
warp the Tuscan hills into my home to do
so I first had to understand the value
in difference I had to convince others
as well as myself that I was proud to be
there that Italy genuinely had something
to offer me
that’s not something you kind of do here
and there if I was going to discover the
hidden pearls of this new ocean I had to
take the plunge an example while my
father was alive we had a lot of house
help scarcely did we step into the
kitchen let alone prepare our own meals
Italy presented the complete opposite
one of my favorite weekend activities
was visiting the local butcher who
enticed me with fresh olives and
prosciutto the kitchen transitioned from
a detached location to a central place
for familial gathering my Spanish and
Italian experience is varied in other
ways as well whereas in Spain I might
have spent Sunday mornings playing golf
or riding horses I now found myself
spending time with my new dad riding
bicycles carelessly weaving the
cobblestone streets and time old Fiat
says we played this game where I would
try some hotshot maneuver and then he
would have to replicate it this brings
me to my next point as one of my
favorite artists proclaimed our heads
are round so that our thoughts can
change direction Francis Picabia
you see moments like these this
father-son cycling tradition not only
taught me cross-cultural ISM they
instilled within me a firm belief in the
nurture over nature mentality as well
just three years prior I sat on my
biological father’s lap reading The
Jungle Book and now I was laying the
foundation for a different yet
fundamentally similar relationship what
an empowered
in concept that I could choose my family
that I could choose who to extend my
love to that is an ability all of us
possess each one of us has the agency to
invite new people into our lives to
discover new oceans and change the
direction of our thoughts alongside them
number two
embracing change is about gratitude
I remember my last day in Italy like it
was yesterday my best friend
Damiano was born in late May so his
birthday and end of school always
coincided now Danny comes from a pretty
well-off family but also a very generous
family and so at the end of school he
would always invite the whole grade to
his country house as a sort of dual
celebration and from the whole grade his
best friends me and about six other guys
were invited to stay the night so
picture 6th grade has just ended
school’s out right and my parents are
driving me to Danny’s place about an
hour outside of Florence we get there
and there are things happening all over
the place there are people in the pool
while others are playing tennis I
remember some of my friends have just
laid down a picnic blanket by the fields
and are tasting olives straight from the
trees as the night progresses we throw a
dance party and we watch a horror movie
at this point it’s about 3:00 in the
morning there’s only a couple of us left
so we camp out in the living room just
in our sleeping bags and start chatting
the night away those hours were some of
the longest I can remember they were
filled with silence hints of fear but
mostly gratitude for we all knew when
the Sun came up I would hug everyone one
last time and say goodbye for good I
wasn’t ready to leave I had finally
figured out friends and family and
studies it seemed so wrong to depart
something so perfect but then I remember
what my mother always says
she plagiarized from dr. Seuss but I’ll
forgive her don’t cry because it’s over
smile because it happened
yes this chapter had come to a close but
boy was i lucky in the first place how
lucky I am as Winnie the Pooh put it to
have something that makes saying good
bye so hard I feel there’s this
tremendous misconception that embracing
change somehow equates to losing
something and it couldn’t be further
from the truth
not only does change add to your memory
bank it coats the memories you already
have in positivity it incites us to
remember fondly rather than mourn things
past experiences are temporary that’s a
constant in life but whether or not you
are grateful the decision remains yours
number three embracing change is about
understanding by the time I arrived to
the third or fourth phase of intense
change in my life I grew rather insecure
of my identity sure I had lived in this
many countries and could speak that many
languages when you feel like you belong
everywhere though it can also feel like
you belong nowhere it only took four
simple words to spark my anxiety shortly
after a cordial handshake I could count
on the follow-up where are you from well
let’s take a look my mother is reg wyan
daughter two Hungarian immigrants so I
am genetically Hungarian I was born in
Madrid so I am legally Spanish I was
raised in Florence so I consider myself
culturally Italian and my academic
career took off in the States so I am
educationally American it wasn’t until
my junior spring that I found the answer
I was so desperately searching for I
opened the first page of Charles use how
to live safely in a science fictional
universe to see the following everything
we are
at every moment alive in us Arthur
Miller what a beautiful thought why
should I have to divide my story
why can I be at all and then I made a
second breakthrough if everything we are
is at every moment alive in us shouldn’t
everything we’ve experienced be alive in
us too I mean it’s a rather rudimentary
idea most of you’re probably scratching
your heads but when you really think
about it our minds are the only item in
the universe so far as we know that can
transcend the limits time can finds us
too if I long to see Damiano I can close
my eyes and relive our sleepovers if I
miss the taste of Tuscan prosciutto in
my mouth I can conjure up the smooth
salty flavor and if I wish to spend time
with my father I can visit him in my
thoughts it was Frank Underwood of all
people who said if you don’t like how
the table is set turn over the table I
didn’t like that my father was gone so
why should he be I changed my mindset to
fit my desire of reality suddenly he
wasn’t gone in the traditional sense
he had just transformed in energy
transitioned from the external world
into my internal one all of you are
blessed with the most precious gifts in
the cosmos memory reflection acceptance
you cannot control what happens to you
but you can choose how to respond
those are my three takeaways but
ultimately when we combine them all open
mindedness gratitude understanding we
arrive at the larger picture
indeed embracing change is about
adopting a growth mindset it’s about
making the most of the cards life deals
you about channeling your curiosity and
ultimately finding happiness along the
way change simply gives one the
opportunity to pause
and reassess it forces us to consider
new possibilities pursue new passions
materialize new dreams and redefine new
purpose I ask you what life do you want
to live will you reach your deathbed
only to say I was consistent or will you
proclaim passionately I did it all thank you
seasons come and go species adapt over
time
yet somehow humans nature’s own creation
are adverse this change we structure our
lives according to routine we dread the
uncertain we prefer straight paths high
school to college to job over more
circuitous journeys gap year
entrepreneurship living abroad but don’t
just take my word for it
a transferwise poll found that 65% of
Americans would not consider moving
abroad a Pew Research Center survey
found that 57% have never lived outside
their home state and the corpus striatum
located at the center of your brain
literally sends out waves of dopamine to
trigger discomfort in the face of the
unfamiliar okay well so what you may be
asking yourselves what if I am a little
set in my ways can anyone really blame
me
why should I embrace change when I can
hold on to what’s right in front of me
to what’s here and what certain my name
is Markham arsons
and I’m living proof that change can be
an agent for good I was three years old
when my father died there were no
medical indications no hereditary
prophecies out of thin air just like
that he vanished from our lives in his
passings wake my mother resumed her
professional career and I remember
missing her bedtime stories as she spent
late nights in the office my siblings
and I grew rather accustomed to spending
our evenings with nannies that was the
first change change came about again a
few years later when my mother fell in
love and we moved from Spain to Italy
for a fresh start the combination of a
new father and a new land was both
daunting and exhilarating
I had to adjust to a new country a new
culture a new language new friends and
above all a new Guardian as my sister
once satirically remarked it wasn’t a
new chapter it was more like a new book
after five wonderful years in Florence
we moved again this time to America like
the others the transition presented its
own obstacles and teachings my sister
off to college and brother attending
boarding school I learned what it meant
to be an only child as a way to keep
myself busy I picked up an instrument
learned a new language even competed in
local science fairs that was changed 3
although I didn’t know it then all these
changes all these wild and unfamiliar
circumstances pushed me to become a more
curious and flexible individual
qualities that ultimately helped
facilitate my next journey boarding
school at first I was uneasy about
leaving home but in hindsight I’m really
glad I did in a word boarding school
gave me the opportunity to seize agency
of both my purpose and my mission I
learned independence I found both
academic and athletic mentors I made
lifelong memories alongside some of the
most intellectually vibrant and affable
people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting
but perhaps most importantly I delineate
it as my school motto says what it means
to be worthy so that’s a fair share
about me but what has changed mean to
you and how can it make a positive
difference in your life I’d like to
emphasize three pillars three
manifestations of the embrace change
spirit number one embracing change is
about open-mindedness one of my favorite
quotes of all time is from French author
and rag’d he said man cannot discover
new oceans unless he has the courage to
I first arrived in Florence I quickly
realized the experience would be what I
made of it I could be the shy
expatriates and believe me I saw plenty
of them or I could buy in and start to
warp the Tuscan hills into my home to do
so I first had to understand the value
in difference I had to convince others
as well as myself that I was proud to be
there that Italy genuinely had something
to offer me
that’s not something you kind of do here
and there if I was going to discover the
hidden pearls of this new ocean I had to
take the plunge an example while my
father was alive we had a lot of house
help scarcely did we step into the
kitchen let alone prepare our own meals
Italy presented the complete opposite
one of my favorite weekend activities
was visiting the local butcher who
enticed me with fresh olives and
prosciutto the kitchen transitioned from
a detached location to a central place
for familial gathering my Spanish and
Italian experience is varied in other
ways as well whereas in Spain I might
have spent Sunday mornings playing golf
or riding horses I now found myself
spending time with my new dad riding
bicycles carelessly weaving the
cobblestone streets and time old Fiat
says we played this game where I would
try some hotshot maneuver and then he
would have to replicate it this brings
me to my next point as one of my
favorite artists proclaimed our heads
are round so that our thoughts can
change direction Francis Picabia
you see moments like these this
father-son cycling tradition not only
taught me cross-cultural ISM they
instilled within me a firm belief in the
nurture over nature mentality as well
just three years prior I sat on my
biological father’s lap reading The
Jungle Book and now I was laying the
foundation for a different yet
fundamentally similar relationship what
an empowered
in concept that I could choose my family
that I could choose who to extend my
love to that is an ability all of us
possess each one of us has the agency to
invite new people into our lives to
discover new oceans and change the
direction of our thoughts alongside them
number two
embracing change is about gratitude
I remember my last day in Italy like it
was yesterday my best friend
Damiano was born in late May so his
birthday and end of school always
coincided now Danny comes from a pretty
well-off family but also a very generous
family and so at the end of school he
would always invite the whole grade to
his country house as a sort of dual
celebration and from the whole grade his
best friends me and about six other guys
were invited to stay the night so
picture 6th grade has just ended
school’s out right and my parents are
driving me to Danny’s place about an
hour outside of Florence we get there
and there are things happening all over
the place there are people in the pool
while others are playing tennis I
remember some of my friends have just
laid down a picnic blanket by the fields
and are tasting olives straight from the
trees as the night progresses we throw a
dance party and we watch a horror movie
at this point it’s about 3:00 in the
morning there’s only a couple of us left
so we camp out in the living room just
in our sleeping bags and start chatting
the night away those hours were some of
the longest I can remember they were
filled with silence hints of fear but
mostly gratitude for we all knew when
the Sun came up I would hug everyone one
last time and say goodbye for good I
wasn’t ready to leave I had finally
figured out friends and family and
studies it seemed so wrong to depart
something so perfect but then I remember
what my mother always says
she plagiarized from dr. Seuss but I’ll
forgive her don’t cry because it’s over
smile because it happened
yes this chapter had come to a close but
boy was i lucky in the first place how
lucky I am as Winnie the Pooh put it to
have something that makes saying good
bye so hard I feel there’s this
tremendous misconception that embracing
change somehow equates to losing
something and it couldn’t be further
from the truth
not only does change add to your memory
bank it coats the memories you already
have in positivity it incites us to
remember fondly rather than mourn things
past experiences are temporary that’s a
constant in life but whether or not you
are grateful the decision remains yours
number three embracing change is about
understanding by the time I arrived to
the third or fourth phase of intense
change in my life I grew rather insecure
of my identity sure I had lived in this
many countries and could speak that many
languages when you feel like you belong
everywhere though it can also feel like
you belong nowhere it only took four
simple words to spark my anxiety shortly
after a cordial handshake I could count
on the follow-up where are you from well
let’s take a look my mother is reg wyan
daughter two Hungarian immigrants so I
am genetically Hungarian I was born in
Madrid so I am legally Spanish I was
raised in Florence so I consider myself
culturally Italian and my academic
career took off in the States so I am
educationally American it wasn’t until
my junior spring that I found the answer
I was so desperately searching for I
opened the first page of Charles use how
to live safely in a science fictional
universe to see the following everything
we are
at every moment alive in us Arthur
Miller what a beautiful thought why
should I have to divide my story
why can I be at all and then I made a
second breakthrough if everything we are
is at every moment alive in us shouldn’t
everything we’ve experienced be alive in
us too I mean it’s a rather rudimentary
idea most of you’re probably scratching
your heads but when you really think
about it our minds are the only item in
the universe so far as we know that can
transcend the limits time can finds us
too if I long to see Damiano I can close
my eyes and relive our sleepovers if I
miss the taste of Tuscan prosciutto in
my mouth I can conjure up the smooth
salty flavor and if I wish to spend time
with my father I can visit him in my
thoughts it was Frank Underwood of all
people who said if you don’t like how
the table is set turn over the table I
didn’t like that my father was gone so
why should he be I changed my mindset to
fit my desire of reality suddenly he
wasn’t gone in the traditional sense
he had just transformed in energy
transitioned from the external world
into my internal one all of you are
blessed with the most precious gifts in
the cosmos memory reflection acceptance
you cannot control what happens to you
but you can choose how to respond
those are my three takeaways but
ultimately when we combine them all open
mindedness gratitude understanding we
arrive at the larger picture
indeed embracing change is about
adopting a growth mindset it’s about
making the most of the cards life deals
you about channeling your curiosity and
ultimately finding happiness along the
way change simply gives one the
opportunity to pause
and reassess it forces us to consider
new possibilities pursue new passions
materialize new dreams and redefine new
purpose I ask you what life do you want
to live will you reach your deathbed
only to say I was consistent or will you
proclaim passionately I did it all thank you
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