hi can you hear me am i audible I am
seriously technologically challenged
there likely to be more than likely to
be glitches then not so bear with me on
that to me this is homecoming of various
sorts so apart from addressing an
audience which I do more often but
coming back to Delhi University coming
back to FMS it’s actually a huge sense
of nostalgia and a huge sense of emotion
that I am experiencing right now likely
that you will end up experiencing that
in the course of this conversation with
me too
I’ve always been fascinated with the
number three right so there is the
Father the Son and the Holy Ghost the
Holy Trinity of Christianity there is
height length and breadth the three
dimensions of physical matter there is
vini vidi vici by Julius Caesar
there is Baba Vishnu Mahesh the Trinity
the holy Hindu Trinity there is location
location location by Sam Walton there is
friends Romans and countrymen by
Shakespeare so there must be a magic to
the number three and it is with this
that I now invite you to take a journey
with me which was the journey of my life
it’s a journey that wasn’t always of
happiness and victory and triumph but
it’s a journey where I learned and
before we finished this I hope to share
my secrets with you their secrets that I
have discovered the hard way I’m hoping
you don’t have to bear secrets that have
helped me that have helped my family
that have helped a lot of people that I
come in touch with should you allow me
to start off when I was 13 and and had
just turned teenager I discovered I was
a helo
I discovered that when I touched people
they instantly felt better and then on
discovering that I was a healer I
promptly did what teenagers are expected
to do which is that I went into denial I
blocked that part of my life out I was
angry I was rebellious I made it a point
that nobody on the planet should find
out about this at all because after all
when you’re a teenager and you’re
dealing with a variety of angst any
which ways identity issues hormonal
issues boy and crush issues career
issues parent issues you don’t want to
end up also feeling like a freak because
you can see things people can’t see and
you can hear things people can’t hear so
the simplest way was to go into denial
and that denial lasted a very very long
time so the next 20 years I stayed in
denial in anger in rebellion trying to
be one of the boys wearing DMS boots
sighs to come here to Delhi University
wearing those so my father’s in the Army
so I had access to those thick military
black boots so wear those boots were a
big rugged shirts and gonna roam around
with the scowl around a university
campus just so that nobody crossed the
barriers they needed to cross just so
that nobody on the planet knew how
insecure how afraid I was less people
find out the truth 20 years is a long
time this was the time in which I went
ahead did my college did my MBA did a
job became a banker was a banker for 20
years for about a decade and a half
there this was thankfully of course
there were some moments of sanity in
that in those moments of sanity one got
married in those moments of sanity one
had two daughters but in all of this
there was just so much of anger so much
of rebellion and so much of fear so much
of noise you didn’t want to talk to
yourself at all they weren’t happy times
you fought with the world you created
noise around yourself because if that
noise vanished then they’d be
and then they’d be you talking to
yourself not nice not pleasant not happy
at all I’d wake up in the morning and
I’d spoiled for a fight
I’d wake up and I’d tell my husband let
me go to office today
and that somebody say one word to me and
I’m going to walk out there were days
where I’d scream and shout and rant and
rave and he was very cool it was also
very fashionable and very cool to be you
know this angry young woman on a mission
trying to be a man crack the code alpha
left brain aggressive all of that went
on for a long time of course I was
eating away at myself I didn’t know that
of course I wasn’t being my best as far
as my family my children were concerned
but I didn’t know that of course I was
spending my time blaming the corporate
world the husband world the in-laws
world the parental world and everybody
and their cousins because I wasn’t happy
with it and then of course life has a
way of getting back at you so then when
my second daughter was born and and we
had kids very early so 22 we finished
our graduation here from FMS itself
23 we got married at 24 Siddarth and I
were parents of her lovely daughter too
young to handle Parenthood so I think
the child bore the brunt of it of course
we’ve redeemed ourselves I’ll come to
that but when the second daughter was
born and I was all of 27 and a half-ish
years of age that’s when the first bolt
struck so when Bianca one was born for
the first six months we didn’t know
whether she would live or die and there
was a life complexity around it she had
some bone marrow issues etc every day
that little child would have that that
thick needle going into her spine to
extract marrow fluid she would go
through her MRIs and x-rays
month-on-month
we would wait for her to come out from
her general anaesthesia and wobble it it
wasn’t a happy time at all and and it
really took its toll on us so come back
because I was on my own and because I
had stepped off the corporate ladder for
the first time and because I was really
engaged for the girls I didn’t have
noise to go back to you know when we are
working it’s very easy to create noise
when you’re working you go out then you
pick up a fight with your Ops guys your
client guys your product guys with your
bosses with your subordinates with your
office peon and you can generate noise
but when you’re at home and your
husband’s happy and your child is happy
and your other child is happy you
suddenly don’t want to create noise
there is nobody who’s giving you the
fight you’re spoiling for so that
suddenly released these eight to nine
hours of serious energy time and that’s
when I think the questioning myself
started I still hadn’t walked down that
path completely I don’t think I was
still ready to face my demons or my
strengths or myself at all and then one
of those things happens right where
where God turns around and whatever the
higher the higher mightier powers that
we turn around and say dude don’t you
get it so when that happened I actually
had an accident so in Singapore I had a
very very nasty road accident my husband
of course makes fun of it in hindsight
then who has an accident in Singapore
air you’ve gone and spoiled the safety
record of an entire nation but well so I
did this – took me about three months to
just stand up again and took me about
six months to start thinking straight
again again the husband jokes that I
haven’t yet got my brains back
completely I’d like to believe I did but
you know that accident finally pushed me
over the edge
and began the next phase of my life why
it was important was because suddenly it
wasn’t somebody else you needed to heal
suddenly it wasn’t about anybody else
not
when your own child suddenly this was
about you to wake up everyday in the
morning and have three people sitting on
the bed just waiting for you to open
their you open your eyes to wake up in
the middle of the night to have a
because you can’t read because the
husband has this finger stuck up your
nose to check if you’re alive to wake up
because you have a feeling somebody’s
staring at you and you turn around and
there are two people sitting on the bed
just looking at you or staring at the
ceiling and that broke me because this
wasn’t about someone else I didn’t need
to heal anyone else this was about
myself and I had become so busy in the
last twenty years being nasty being
victim indicative being the victim being
a martyr blaming everybody else that
that was my default reaction when I had
my accident
the default reaction was feeling
miserable suicidal victimized let people
come and take care of me oh why does God
do this to me etcetera etcetera was the
first reaction but when this happened
and you realized that you weren’t doing
it for myself for yourself
but for those around you I think that is
when I tipped over right six months
later I moved my family was in Sri Lanka
the girls and the husband were in Sri
Lanka I moved to Bombay back to India
with a job with this job with future
group and six months later they followed
there were girls
they were almost teenagers they were
with their father and they managed
really well I found that when they moved
back the girls in us became a better
community because I was respecting
myself and because I was doing what I
wanted to do everybody else was
respecting those choices they were also
embracing their own selves and the whole
the whole conversation has now changed
so before I finished with this of course
today I live in this brilliantly
liberated space and because I allowed me
to embrace myself I also allowed myself
to pursue my dreams my learnings
remember I told you that I was all empty
about six years ago and then I
we built myself when I rebuilt myself in
search of answers we went all over there
is a conversation that I had with I I am
a certified mythologist so there’s a
conversation with with with mythologists
at one end which explores the deeper
dimensions of ancient wisdom insights
from Sciences ancient Sciences there’s a
conversation that happens with the
Oxford University and a Center for Hindu
study is there there’s a conversation on
ethics and morality happening with Yale
there is a conversation that’s happening
with a string theoretical physicist on
the dimensions of string theory and it’s
a space one is just brilliantly stepping
into and resonating in so let me come
back to the three is the rule of trees
always in this journey the three
learnings that I have had and the three
learnings I always always always shared
one is embrace yourself till you embrace
who you are what you are
who you want to be why you are you will
never be your best self ever basic
science yeah the moment you are negating
something the moment you are
contradicting something you’re losing
your efficiency the moment you’re losing
efficiency you will not be at resonance
you will not be your best most brilliant
test itself so embrace yourself it makes
you fearless it makes you who you are
the second one focus on your strengths
not your weaknesses I know this and I
know this sounds contradictory because
all our lives especially as children
we’ve always been taught by Englishmen
that you’ve got good marks very good you
know your English focus on your match
where you’re not getting those marks but
the fact is that when I’m focusing on
what I am not good at I am doing to
damages one I am not focusing on what’s
my I am good at and which I will excel
at and two for the same amount of energy
applied you remember your energy and
copies class ten so for the same amount
of energy applied it takes more energy
to convert ice to water and then water
to steam than it takes for water to
start
boiling so for the same amount of energy
applied towards your strengths your
output should be far greater far bigger
far more magnificent than they will be
in working on your areas of weakness and
the third one this is actually the
toughest one to give up which is that
all of us spend so much of our lives
controlling planning doing thinking this
that right wrong shall I shot I went to
go out to go that we forget that there
is a larger universal consciousness at
play that we forget we need to surrender
and you know I have this conversation
very often specially because most of my
peer group is the MBA the plan the
corporate ladder variety and I find that
till you learn to surrender you will not
know what’s in store for you so I was a
banker I was a very good banker and my
clients tell me that I don’t say this my
clients tell me that and I had a decent
trajectory so I must have been a good
banker but that wasn’t my full potential
because I was so busy saying okay next
move next job next role next promotion
next band bigger team that I forgot that
that was not my critical strength I
would have been a good banker no doubt
but I wouldn’t have given it my full
potential and because I won’t have done
that I would have better than to damages
one not being the best means that I
could be do not done justice to that
role either the moment I surrendered and
embrace the consciousness and did only
what I wanted to do life’s just come in
my way including the job that I want to
do so much so that for for an MBA batch
that I started out with and for a career
where I was doing average in my banking
career I actually ended up being the
first CEO in my batch so the
consciousness Alliance
and that’s the toughest rule to embrace
so here once more I shall just recap it
embrace yourself be your most fearless
self that you can be
Ksenia strengths not your weaknesses and
control and plan a bit but by-and-large
surrender to the larger universal
consciousness doing what you want to do
what’s your most passionate about and
then rise rise in resonance and rise in
brilliance thank you
you
seriously technologically challenged
there likely to be more than likely to
be glitches then not so bear with me on
that to me this is homecoming of various
sorts so apart from addressing an
audience which I do more often but
coming back to Delhi University coming
back to FMS it’s actually a huge sense
of nostalgia and a huge sense of emotion
that I am experiencing right now likely
that you will end up experiencing that
in the course of this conversation with
me too
I’ve always been fascinated with the
number three right so there is the
Father the Son and the Holy Ghost the
Holy Trinity of Christianity there is
height length and breadth the three
dimensions of physical matter there is
vini vidi vici by Julius Caesar
there is Baba Vishnu Mahesh the Trinity
the holy Hindu Trinity there is location
location location by Sam Walton there is
friends Romans and countrymen by
Shakespeare so there must be a magic to
the number three and it is with this
that I now invite you to take a journey
with me which was the journey of my life
it’s a journey that wasn’t always of
happiness and victory and triumph but
it’s a journey where I learned and
before we finished this I hope to share
my secrets with you their secrets that I
have discovered the hard way I’m hoping
you don’t have to bear secrets that have
helped me that have helped my family
that have helped a lot of people that I
come in touch with should you allow me
to start off when I was 13 and and had
just turned teenager I discovered I was
a helo
I discovered that when I touched people
they instantly felt better and then on
discovering that I was a healer I
promptly did what teenagers are expected
to do which is that I went into denial I
blocked that part of my life out I was
angry I was rebellious I made it a point
that nobody on the planet should find
out about this at all because after all
when you’re a teenager and you’re
dealing with a variety of angst any
which ways identity issues hormonal
issues boy and crush issues career
issues parent issues you don’t want to
end up also feeling like a freak because
you can see things people can’t see and
you can hear things people can’t hear so
the simplest way was to go into denial
and that denial lasted a very very long
time so the next 20 years I stayed in
denial in anger in rebellion trying to
be one of the boys wearing DMS boots
sighs to come here to Delhi University
wearing those so my father’s in the Army
so I had access to those thick military
black boots so wear those boots were a
big rugged shirts and gonna roam around
with the scowl around a university
campus just so that nobody crossed the
barriers they needed to cross just so
that nobody on the planet knew how
insecure how afraid I was less people
find out the truth 20 years is a long
time this was the time in which I went
ahead did my college did my MBA did a
job became a banker was a banker for 20
years for about a decade and a half
there this was thankfully of course
there were some moments of sanity in
that in those moments of sanity one got
married in those moments of sanity one
had two daughters but in all of this
there was just so much of anger so much
of rebellion and so much of fear so much
of noise you didn’t want to talk to
yourself at all they weren’t happy times
you fought with the world you created
noise around yourself because if that
noise vanished then they’d be
and then they’d be you talking to
yourself not nice not pleasant not happy
at all I’d wake up in the morning and
I’d spoiled for a fight
I’d wake up and I’d tell my husband let
me go to office today
and that somebody say one word to me and
I’m going to walk out there were days
where I’d scream and shout and rant and
rave and he was very cool it was also
very fashionable and very cool to be you
know this angry young woman on a mission
trying to be a man crack the code alpha
left brain aggressive all of that went
on for a long time of course I was
eating away at myself I didn’t know that
of course I wasn’t being my best as far
as my family my children were concerned
but I didn’t know that of course I was
spending my time blaming the corporate
world the husband world the in-laws
world the parental world and everybody
and their cousins because I wasn’t happy
with it and then of course life has a
way of getting back at you so then when
my second daughter was born and and we
had kids very early so 22 we finished
our graduation here from FMS itself
23 we got married at 24 Siddarth and I
were parents of her lovely daughter too
young to handle Parenthood so I think
the child bore the brunt of it of course
we’ve redeemed ourselves I’ll come to
that but when the second daughter was
born and I was all of 27 and a half-ish
years of age that’s when the first bolt
struck so when Bianca one was born for
the first six months we didn’t know
whether she would live or die and there
was a life complexity around it she had
some bone marrow issues etc every day
that little child would have that that
thick needle going into her spine to
extract marrow fluid she would go
through her MRIs and x-rays
month-on-month
we would wait for her to come out from
her general anaesthesia and wobble it it
wasn’t a happy time at all and and it
really took its toll on us so come back
because I was on my own and because I
had stepped off the corporate ladder for
the first time and because I was really
engaged for the girls I didn’t have
noise to go back to you know when we are
working it’s very easy to create noise
when you’re working you go out then you
pick up a fight with your Ops guys your
client guys your product guys with your
bosses with your subordinates with your
office peon and you can generate noise
but when you’re at home and your
husband’s happy and your child is happy
and your other child is happy you
suddenly don’t want to create noise
there is nobody who’s giving you the
fight you’re spoiling for so that
suddenly released these eight to nine
hours of serious energy time and that’s
when I think the questioning myself
started I still hadn’t walked down that
path completely I don’t think I was
still ready to face my demons or my
strengths or myself at all and then one
of those things happens right where
where God turns around and whatever the
higher the higher mightier powers that
we turn around and say dude don’t you
get it so when that happened I actually
had an accident so in Singapore I had a
very very nasty road accident my husband
of course makes fun of it in hindsight
then who has an accident in Singapore
air you’ve gone and spoiled the safety
record of an entire nation but well so I
did this – took me about three months to
just stand up again and took me about
six months to start thinking straight
again again the husband jokes that I
haven’t yet got my brains back
completely I’d like to believe I did but
you know that accident finally pushed me
over the edge
and began the next phase of my life why
it was important was because suddenly it
wasn’t somebody else you needed to heal
suddenly it wasn’t about anybody else
not
when your own child suddenly this was
about you to wake up everyday in the
morning and have three people sitting on
the bed just waiting for you to open
their you open your eyes to wake up in
the middle of the night to have a
because you can’t read because the
husband has this finger stuck up your
nose to check if you’re alive to wake up
because you have a feeling somebody’s
staring at you and you turn around and
there are two people sitting on the bed
just looking at you or staring at the
ceiling and that broke me because this
wasn’t about someone else I didn’t need
to heal anyone else this was about
myself and I had become so busy in the
last twenty years being nasty being
victim indicative being the victim being
a martyr blaming everybody else that
that was my default reaction when I had
my accident
the default reaction was feeling
miserable suicidal victimized let people
come and take care of me oh why does God
do this to me etcetera etcetera was the
first reaction but when this happened
and you realized that you weren’t doing
it for myself for yourself
but for those around you I think that is
when I tipped over right six months
later I moved my family was in Sri Lanka
the girls and the husband were in Sri
Lanka I moved to Bombay back to India
with a job with this job with future
group and six months later they followed
there were girls
they were almost teenagers they were
with their father and they managed
really well I found that when they moved
back the girls in us became a better
community because I was respecting
myself and because I was doing what I
wanted to do everybody else was
respecting those choices they were also
embracing their own selves and the whole
the whole conversation has now changed
so before I finished with this of course
today I live in this brilliantly
liberated space and because I allowed me
to embrace myself I also allowed myself
to pursue my dreams my learnings
remember I told you that I was all empty
about six years ago and then I
we built myself when I rebuilt myself in
search of answers we went all over there
is a conversation that I had with I I am
a certified mythologist so there’s a
conversation with with with mythologists
at one end which explores the deeper
dimensions of ancient wisdom insights
from Sciences ancient Sciences there’s a
conversation that happens with the
Oxford University and a Center for Hindu
study is there there’s a conversation on
ethics and morality happening with Yale
there is a conversation that’s happening
with a string theoretical physicist on
the dimensions of string theory and it’s
a space one is just brilliantly stepping
into and resonating in so let me come
back to the three is the rule of trees
always in this journey the three
learnings that I have had and the three
learnings I always always always shared
one is embrace yourself till you embrace
who you are what you are
who you want to be why you are you will
never be your best self ever basic
science yeah the moment you are negating
something the moment you are
contradicting something you’re losing
your efficiency the moment you’re losing
efficiency you will not be at resonance
you will not be your best most brilliant
test itself so embrace yourself it makes
you fearless it makes you who you are
the second one focus on your strengths
not your weaknesses I know this and I
know this sounds contradictory because
all our lives especially as children
we’ve always been taught by Englishmen
that you’ve got good marks very good you
know your English focus on your match
where you’re not getting those marks but
the fact is that when I’m focusing on
what I am not good at I am doing to
damages one I am not focusing on what’s
my I am good at and which I will excel
at and two for the same amount of energy
applied you remember your energy and
copies class ten so for the same amount
of energy applied it takes more energy
to convert ice to water and then water
to steam than it takes for water to
start
boiling so for the same amount of energy
applied towards your strengths your
output should be far greater far bigger
far more magnificent than they will be
in working on your areas of weakness and
the third one this is actually the
toughest one to give up which is that
all of us spend so much of our lives
controlling planning doing thinking this
that right wrong shall I shot I went to
go out to go that we forget that there
is a larger universal consciousness at
play that we forget we need to surrender
and you know I have this conversation
very often specially because most of my
peer group is the MBA the plan the
corporate ladder variety and I find that
till you learn to surrender you will not
know what’s in store for you so I was a
banker I was a very good banker and my
clients tell me that I don’t say this my
clients tell me that and I had a decent
trajectory so I must have been a good
banker but that wasn’t my full potential
because I was so busy saying okay next
move next job next role next promotion
next band bigger team that I forgot that
that was not my critical strength I
would have been a good banker no doubt
but I wouldn’t have given it my full
potential and because I won’t have done
that I would have better than to damages
one not being the best means that I
could be do not done justice to that
role either the moment I surrendered and
embrace the consciousness and did only
what I wanted to do life’s just come in
my way including the job that I want to
do so much so that for for an MBA batch
that I started out with and for a career
where I was doing average in my banking
career I actually ended up being the
first CEO in my batch so the
consciousness Alliance
and that’s the toughest rule to embrace
so here once more I shall just recap it
embrace yourself be your most fearless
self that you can be
Ksenia strengths not your weaknesses and
control and plan a bit but by-and-large
surrender to the larger universal
consciousness doing what you want to do
what’s your most passionate about and
then rise rise in resonance and rise in
brilliance thank you
you
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