what defines you each and every single
person in this room because this is
their own individual identity now I want
all of you to take a moment close your
eyes and think be as honest and as
candid with yourself as you possibly can
and I will ask what defines your
identity how much control do you have
over your identity we all have a vision
for ourselves who do you want to be
are you living as your best self if not
how will you get there you may open your
eyes now I want you to keep those
thoughts running through your mind
throughout the rest of my talk now I’m
going to tell you about a few people I
know so I want you guys to all think of
the one person we know who is constantly
overachieving the person who does
everything and manages to do it all with
seamless perfection now I knew a person
like this too let’s call her Alex and
Alex’s life was pretty normal until her
freshman year of high school an early
fall after several misdiagnosis she was
diagnosed with a chronic genetic
disorder called cystic fibrosis CF
disables the body’s ability to transfer
chloride in and out of cells
this results in excessive amounts of
concentrated mucus in several
passageways in the body we’re talking
about lethal complications in both the
respiratory system and the digestive
tract now since cystic fibrosis is a
hereditary disorder it points to the
generalization of diagnosis at or soon
after birth
however for Alex this was not the case
she after 14 years of living a
completely asymptomatic life her life
did a 180 now I want you to go back to
that overachiever from before think
about them and how they would feel per
se losing a loved one the feelings of
sorrow and despair they would endure now
in the similar way Alex had lost her
health the body that was merely a
vehicle to achievement and success was
now her biggest enemy this body now
placed her in hospitals nearly every
other month not to mention the time
draining treatment
sorry to keep her lungs functioning
these treatments often took up to three
hours a day and consisted of inhaled
medications oral medications and
percussion treatments but even all of
this was not enough to stop the
deterioration of her lungs and an
extremely low point
her lungs were lunching functioning at a
mere 50 percent now imagine the tight
sense of restriction down your throat
and a sense of panic when feeling like
only one of your lungs is working
needless to say this adversity had taken
a toll on Alex’s mental well-being
having been very close to her I watched
her progress through every stage of
grief overwhelming hopelessness and
anger were consuming her and she would
often ask things like what’s the point
of living if my life will be cut short
anyway well the ultimate question here
is how do we face a confusion of
identity when tragedies interfere with
our goals and so I used to tell Alex
that to overcome one’s breath you must
learn to accept that it is yours
identity is a very complex notion there
are so many obstacles and platforms that
at times that can feel nearly impossible
to define it let alone understand it and
for Alex here this is a major issue she
often felt like people only saw her for
her illness as the person who was always
sick or never in school but ultimately
she had a choice she could give in to
this overbearing illness and let it
literally take over her or she could
choose to actively go on with life
take the obstacles for what they were
and define herself for her own identity
so from the beginning of my friend’s
freshman year until now she’s endured
quite the transformation but not in a
negative way so maybe she’s not just the
perfect overachiever she was before but
she has used these experiences to build
a fire and her that is very unique to
others now with tragedy comes pain grief
and sometimes a lifelong continuing
struggle but she’s over the years she
learned to persevere through these and
ultimately define herself for her real
worth now
now another person I knew let’s call him
John and John faced unthinkable
adversity in his high-school years as
well
he and dirt a long and continuing battle
with an eating disorder
more specifically anorexia nervosa for
those of you who don’t know anorexia is
a psychological disorder in which
someone has an irrational fear of
gaining weight they often go to extremes
of dieting and exercise to avoid it in
fact according to the National
Association of anorexia nervosa and
associated disorders at least thirty
million people of all ages and genders
suffer from an eating disorder every
year in the US alone eating disorders at
the highest mortality rate of any mental
illness in fact every 62 minutes one
person dies as a direct result from an
eating disorder now my friends John
struggle just started with the slow
descent into a deep depression
he was constantly feeling sad exhausted
and overwhelmed his life felt very out
of control as he had described it to me
and so all he had was these constant
replaying thoughts of self-hatred but
these all had a focal point the body in
its appearance and so John felt so
strongly about this that it began to
diet in order to lose weight now of
course in the beginning it was nothing
extreme and everything was innocent but
as time progressed things took a turn
for the worst
eating healthy had turned into barely
eating at all every time I was with him
he would avoid food at all costs and
pretty soon he was disappearing not just
physically but mentally and socially
within only a month and a half he’d lost
nearly 30% of his body weight and his
organs began to shut down in late winter
he was admitted into the hospital with
an extremely low heart rate a failing
liver in what seemed to be a negative
space of a body and within the hospital
he would stay there for two more weeks
and then be transferred directly into a
residential eating disorder treatment
center in this treatment center he would
be faced with his biggest fears which
would that matter was not just food I
believe there’s ultimately
a misconception that eating disorders
are strictly about food and frankly it’s
the opposite
eating disorders result in abnormal
behavior on food as a result of trying
to cope with underlying mental struggles
in for John here these came out of
feeling up out of control in his life
and his obsessive or perfectionistic
qualities and so I’ll just as Alex did
John too struggled with identity there’s
often so much focus on his appearance
and the way it was changing over time
that it felt like there was all there
was to him so he ultimately had a choice
to he could let his mental illness and
his weight to find him or he can go on
with life and work hard to overcome it
John chose a path to recovery and a true
sense of self any kind of recovery is
never linear there are highs and lows
and relapses but what really matters is
one’s ability to build the strength to
overcome those things and recognize
himself for that now eating disorders
often disguise themselves as a false
sense of control John was able to gain
back control they interact he had taken
away from him and you too can gain back
their control that ident
um that adversity can take away from you
and gain control over your identity and
how others perceive it now in the
beginning of the speech I asked you to
honestly consider what defines you I
stressed the importance of an honest and
in candid assessment however I’ve been a
hypocrite because I’ve not been honest
with you Alex and John the two people I
just described to you do not actually
exist both of these people were me so
right here Mike what’s my freshman year
I spent most of my freshman year in the
hospital through the diagnostic process
and continuing into sophomore year which
was also spent mostly in a hospital and
at this point was a very low point in my
eating disorder and within weeks I was
hospitalized and here is me today so
when talking about any kind of adverse
I think it is extremely important to
understand the concept of
intersectionality intersectionality is
defined as the intersections between
different district disenfranchised
groups in minorities more specifically
the interactions between different
systems of oppression and discrimination
so in the same way that I’m not just a
race or gender sexuality I’m not just my
eating disorder or cystic fibrosis
so yes the to do effect to me and are
often together building even harder
obstacle to face for example when my
doctors tell me to exercise to clear my
lungs it puts me at a great risk of an
exercise addiction was a huge part of my
eating disorder but the amazing thing is
is these two things together have
ultimately built a great motivation to
keep myself healthy because when one
illness Falls the other usually follows
and so keeping myself in check is pretty
much a necessity of course building a
positive and honest identity does not
happen overnight and when in the
crucible of struggling with adversity it
can feel like everything you’ve ever
known about yourself or about the world
around you has vanished and been taken
over by an excessive amount of hardship
but ultimately it is these hard
experiences the ultimate that serve as
the best catalyst for an authentic
identity which each and every one of you
possess now I want to ask you one last
time what defines you who do you want to
be how will you get there and I
challenge each and every one of you to
go home tonight and I want you to take
one small step or even just plan
something to take yourself one step
closer to being the best self you can
how will you define yourself thank you
[Applause]
person in this room because this is
their own individual identity now I want
all of you to take a moment close your
eyes and think be as honest and as
candid with yourself as you possibly can
and I will ask what defines your
identity how much control do you have
over your identity we all have a vision
for ourselves who do you want to be
are you living as your best self if not
how will you get there you may open your
eyes now I want you to keep those
thoughts running through your mind
throughout the rest of my talk now I’m
going to tell you about a few people I
know so I want you guys to all think of
the one person we know who is constantly
overachieving the person who does
everything and manages to do it all with
seamless perfection now I knew a person
like this too let’s call her Alex and
Alex’s life was pretty normal until her
freshman year of high school an early
fall after several misdiagnosis she was
diagnosed with a chronic genetic
disorder called cystic fibrosis CF
disables the body’s ability to transfer
chloride in and out of cells
this results in excessive amounts of
concentrated mucus in several
passageways in the body we’re talking
about lethal complications in both the
respiratory system and the digestive
tract now since cystic fibrosis is a
hereditary disorder it points to the
generalization of diagnosis at or soon
after birth
however for Alex this was not the case
she after 14 years of living a
completely asymptomatic life her life
did a 180 now I want you to go back to
that overachiever from before think
about them and how they would feel per
se losing a loved one the feelings of
sorrow and despair they would endure now
in the similar way Alex had lost her
health the body that was merely a
vehicle to achievement and success was
now her biggest enemy this body now
placed her in hospitals nearly every
other month not to mention the time
draining treatment
sorry to keep her lungs functioning
these treatments often took up to three
hours a day and consisted of inhaled
medications oral medications and
percussion treatments but even all of
this was not enough to stop the
deterioration of her lungs and an
extremely low point
her lungs were lunching functioning at a
mere 50 percent now imagine the tight
sense of restriction down your throat
and a sense of panic when feeling like
only one of your lungs is working
needless to say this adversity had taken
a toll on Alex’s mental well-being
having been very close to her I watched
her progress through every stage of
grief overwhelming hopelessness and
anger were consuming her and she would
often ask things like what’s the point
of living if my life will be cut short
anyway well the ultimate question here
is how do we face a confusion of
identity when tragedies interfere with
our goals and so I used to tell Alex
that to overcome one’s breath you must
learn to accept that it is yours
identity is a very complex notion there
are so many obstacles and platforms that
at times that can feel nearly impossible
to define it let alone understand it and
for Alex here this is a major issue she
often felt like people only saw her for
her illness as the person who was always
sick or never in school but ultimately
she had a choice she could give in to
this overbearing illness and let it
literally take over her or she could
choose to actively go on with life
take the obstacles for what they were
and define herself for her own identity
so from the beginning of my friend’s
freshman year until now she’s endured
quite the transformation but not in a
negative way so maybe she’s not just the
perfect overachiever she was before but
she has used these experiences to build
a fire and her that is very unique to
others now with tragedy comes pain grief
and sometimes a lifelong continuing
struggle but she’s over the years she
learned to persevere through these and
ultimately define herself for her real
worth now
now another person I knew let’s call him
John and John faced unthinkable
adversity in his high-school years as
well
he and dirt a long and continuing battle
with an eating disorder
more specifically anorexia nervosa for
those of you who don’t know anorexia is
a psychological disorder in which
someone has an irrational fear of
gaining weight they often go to extremes
of dieting and exercise to avoid it in
fact according to the National
Association of anorexia nervosa and
associated disorders at least thirty
million people of all ages and genders
suffer from an eating disorder every
year in the US alone eating disorders at
the highest mortality rate of any mental
illness in fact every 62 minutes one
person dies as a direct result from an
eating disorder now my friends John
struggle just started with the slow
descent into a deep depression
he was constantly feeling sad exhausted
and overwhelmed his life felt very out
of control as he had described it to me
and so all he had was these constant
replaying thoughts of self-hatred but
these all had a focal point the body in
its appearance and so John felt so
strongly about this that it began to
diet in order to lose weight now of
course in the beginning it was nothing
extreme and everything was innocent but
as time progressed things took a turn
for the worst
eating healthy had turned into barely
eating at all every time I was with him
he would avoid food at all costs and
pretty soon he was disappearing not just
physically but mentally and socially
within only a month and a half he’d lost
nearly 30% of his body weight and his
organs began to shut down in late winter
he was admitted into the hospital with
an extremely low heart rate a failing
liver in what seemed to be a negative
space of a body and within the hospital
he would stay there for two more weeks
and then be transferred directly into a
residential eating disorder treatment
center in this treatment center he would
be faced with his biggest fears which
would that matter was not just food I
believe there’s ultimately
a misconception that eating disorders
are strictly about food and frankly it’s
the opposite
eating disorders result in abnormal
behavior on food as a result of trying
to cope with underlying mental struggles
in for John here these came out of
feeling up out of control in his life
and his obsessive or perfectionistic
qualities and so I’ll just as Alex did
John too struggled with identity there’s
often so much focus on his appearance
and the way it was changing over time
that it felt like there was all there
was to him so he ultimately had a choice
to he could let his mental illness and
his weight to find him or he can go on
with life and work hard to overcome it
John chose a path to recovery and a true
sense of self any kind of recovery is
never linear there are highs and lows
and relapses but what really matters is
one’s ability to build the strength to
overcome those things and recognize
himself for that now eating disorders
often disguise themselves as a false
sense of control John was able to gain
back control they interact he had taken
away from him and you too can gain back
their control that ident
um that adversity can take away from you
and gain control over your identity and
how others perceive it now in the
beginning of the speech I asked you to
honestly consider what defines you I
stressed the importance of an honest and
in candid assessment however I’ve been a
hypocrite because I’ve not been honest
with you Alex and John the two people I
just described to you do not actually
exist both of these people were me so
right here Mike what’s my freshman year
I spent most of my freshman year in the
hospital through the diagnostic process
and continuing into sophomore year which
was also spent mostly in a hospital and
at this point was a very low point in my
eating disorder and within weeks I was
hospitalized and here is me today so
when talking about any kind of adverse
I think it is extremely important to
understand the concept of
intersectionality intersectionality is
defined as the intersections between
different district disenfranchised
groups in minorities more specifically
the interactions between different
systems of oppression and discrimination
so in the same way that I’m not just a
race or gender sexuality I’m not just my
eating disorder or cystic fibrosis
so yes the to do effect to me and are
often together building even harder
obstacle to face for example when my
doctors tell me to exercise to clear my
lungs it puts me at a great risk of an
exercise addiction was a huge part of my
eating disorder but the amazing thing is
is these two things together have
ultimately built a great motivation to
keep myself healthy because when one
illness Falls the other usually follows
and so keeping myself in check is pretty
much a necessity of course building a
positive and honest identity does not
happen overnight and when in the
crucible of struggling with adversity it
can feel like everything you’ve ever
known about yourself or about the world
around you has vanished and been taken
over by an excessive amount of hardship
but ultimately it is these hard
experiences the ultimate that serve as
the best catalyst for an authentic
identity which each and every one of you
possess now I want to ask you one last
time what defines you who do you want to
be how will you get there and I
challenge each and every one of you to
go home tonight and I want you to take
one small step or even just plan
something to take yourself one step
closer to being the best self you can
how will you define yourself thank you
[Applause]
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