[Applause]
thank you lightning strikes the earth
approximately 6,000 times per minute if
a polar bear and a grizzly mate
the hybrid cub is called up is Li in
just 10 minutes a hurricane unleashes as
much force as if all the world’s nuclear
weapons were detonated at once maybe you
knew all of this I didn’t but I’ve just
broken a cardinal rule haven’t I
I’ve emitted it I didn’t know something
and I’ve admitted it publicly let me
back up duh you didn’t know that that’s
what we say isn’t it to cover the fact
that we ourselves don’t know justice
last week on campus one of my students
told me that he was sitting in a lecture
he was listening and taking notes avidly
and his his mind drifted and the student
next to him said what What did he say I
missed that and he said oh oh sorry my
mind drifted and the students sitting
next to him said well you don’t know
that and my student said well you don’t
either you’re the one that asked me why
are you making fun of me why are you
making it seem like I’m the dumb one
right and yet we do that don’t we to
cover on our own ignorance from the
drive-thru at McDonald’s to the halls of
the Ivy League’s we bluster we Bluff we
posture we puff out our chests and we
pretend that we know everything and if
you think that you’re exempt think of
the last time that you were standing
with a group of friends and they were
all talking about a movie the greatest
showmen maybe they were all talking
about the movie and you haven’t seen it
you’re standing there with them and you
want to be part of it you might be
googling out the side trying to see what
it’s about so you have something to
contribute to the conversation if you
don’t do that you might when the punch
line comes but you didn’t see it why do
we do that Russian author Anton Chekhov
says
Only Fools and charlatans know
everything and understand nothing
are we nothing more than fools and
phonies who know nothing I know that I
don’t I don’t know anything I’m 54 years
old and I’m a child in this universe
when my mother was 13 years old she was
gang-raped consequently she dropped out
of school and by the time she was 21 she
had had six children from three
different fathers four of us survived
with a 7th grade education and being a
child herself with no education she took
any job she could get she was a
nightclub dancer she was a waitress she
would scrape foods food off of patrons
plates to bring home to us I was that
kid that didn’t know anything because by
the time I quit school when I was 15 we
had moved more than 50 times you could
say there were a few gaps in my
education I was the kid that when I
heard about Romeo and Juliet I thought
they were kids in our trailer park no
idea what they were talking about yep I
was the kid that when I heard about the
Sistine Chapel said well do I have to
learn about the other 15 to understand
the sistine I was that kid I didn’t know
you were supposed to change your sheets
because you don’t use sheets when you’re
living in a car or sleeping on the floor
you don’t need them I was that kid and I
want you to know that I tried so hard to
fake it but some chasms are so wide and
so deep that it becomes impossible to
maintain the facade and yet we try don’t
we we try I see I thought I was the only
one with that sense of fraudulence in my
stomach and then I learned that you all
have it too we all have it we’re afraid
of being found out and why are we afraid
because it’s the anthropological
equivalent
of being cast away from the fire right
no mammoth leg for you tonight we’re not
gonna tell you where the cave is you
have no shelter now we’re not going to
tell you where the watering hole is you
are now ostracized from society clearly
not sufficient to sit at the fire it’s a
possible death sentence
so we faked it and we faked it till we
make it isn’t that our national motto
fake it till you make it but I want to
offer no one’s making it we’re just
still faking it
we’re just still carrying on the facade
baseball apple pie and Doug you didn’t
know that think about that it’s tragic
and why do we do it because we want the
illusion of security because knowing
something feels good doesn’t it it feels
good
even the smartest person in the world
knows this much compared to what there
is to know even the smartest person in
the world knowledge has a half-life
I just learned oh wait I can’t tell you
I just learned it cowboy duh you didn’t
know that I didn’t either I just learned
it it was exciting knowledge has a
half-life just like a can of green beans
in your pantry has a shelf life
knowledge has a half-life and in
academic subjects physics has one of the
longest half-lives yeah seven years now
I teach basic writing and as part of
that course I before E except after C
yeah that was great forty years ago it
applies to 35 words there are more than
900 words now that don’t fit the rule no
one of my students are confused when
they walk in the door right they’re
confused they have no idea what’s going
on it took me 30 years to get my
bachelor’s degree and with the
encouragement of my children I went back
and finished I was terrified to enter
the halls of Education the hallowed
halls my daughter actually went me
with me to the admin building and she
was holding my hand behind the counter I
was just shaking terrified and yet I
still know so little I have some papers
on the wall yet there’s still so much
yet to know one of my final classes was
an ethics class and in this s the ethics
class I took a yellow pad of paper and a
pen and every time he said a word I
didn’t know I wrote it down and then I’d
go home and I’d spend hours looking them
up I never heard of tautology or
bifurcate or epistemology so I wrote
them phonetically I want you to know
it’s incredible I want you to know that
if you type that into Google it’ll take
you to the right place that’s impressive
to me so knowledge epistemology is the
study of knowledge what we know what we
don’t what we believe and how we
formulate those beliefs and why we fake
it that’s the bottom line isn’t it why
we fake it I was in a classroom last
week and I happened to mention to my
students that I’d never seen Napoleon
Dynamite I know I know
no mammoths leg for me tonight I know
and I thought they were gonna fall out
of their chairs and they said you you
haven’t wait what and I said isn’t crazy
and yet here I am it’s just crazy how
this world works and I said the funny
part is if you want to stand on the
shoulders of giants you’ve got to get
out of the shadows off of that one-inch
platform where you’re looking down at
the rest of the world and judging them
couldn’t I stand up here as an English
major and say you’ve never seen Voltaire
isn’t that ridiculous with how much
there is to know would that be
ridiculous and silly the Greek
philosopher Epictetus tells us that we
cannot begin to learn what we think we
already know so we have to admit our
and I know that some of you out there
saying you you don’t know my job if I do
that it’s a death sentence I’m not
suggesting in your next business meeting
when you’re asked a question that you
say I don’t know I want you to keep your
job I’m suggesting that you give a truly
intelligent response you know I’m not
familiar with that could you tell me
more let me look into that
intelligent responses that we can emit
our vulnerability and that opens the
door for all of us to stand side-by-side
and say it’s exciting let’s learn what
do you want to learn now I know what
you’re thinking what you think the word
learn means I asked some of my students
what does it mean to truly learn and
without hesitation she raised her hand
and she said show up sit up shut up and
learn and my heart ached because if you
think about it in kindergarten you walk
in and ask a classic question what do
they do and then you call on one of them
right and by the time we get to 4th to
6th grade we’re offering him points
we’re offering him treats we’re bribing
them raise your hands raise your hands
you can raise your hands and by the time
we get to junior high in high school
Euler Euler
anyone we’ve beaten the questions right
out of them
and we’ve done it with duh you didn’t
know that but that’s just one end of the
knowledge spectrum on the other end my
daughter was in fifth grade and she was
on a twelfth grade reading level and she
was in there and she raised her hand and
she asked a question and the kid behind
her said duh the smart girl doesn’t know
everything and she came home I didn’t
know about the experience she walked in
the door I could see her crestfallen
face I said honey what happened and
words that just strike a mother’s heart
I’m never going to ask another question
that’s what we’re doing and we’re doing
it from our boardrooms to our classrooms
to our family rooms and the ridiculous
part is we’re all little peacocks
because in the whole universe we hardly
know anything this is my granddaughter
Adelaide you canoeing off no really
really thank you that feels good how
many of you have seen a baby learn to
walk a toddler yep okay yeah
what happens they fall we all see it
collectively they fall and what do they
do they get back up don’t forget that
they have that saggy diaper that landing
cushion and kind of built in it’s kind
of nice I kind of wish I had that once
in a while when I saw this was taken
just before Adelaide learned how to walk
all the adults were in the front room
she was holding on to the corner of the
coffee table her little legs were going
back and forth and we were all just like
we’re gonna solve the national debt
tonight okay we’re just we’re just right
there and she’s wobbling and she takes
that step and she fell and I said that
child is so stupid
she’ll never amount to anything I said
that in a classroom once on a 6 foot
tall
at risk tina teenager in the back flew
out of his chair knocked it on the floor
needles man that’s messed up
and I said it is messed up and I didn’t
say that why why would I not say that
because she doesn’t know she’s just
learning so I ask you now at what age
does it become acceptable to say duh you
didn’t know that or you’re stupid
at what age are we not all infants here
if you think back to the playground days
do you remember some of the phrases we
heard nah I know you are but what am I
and duh you didn’t know that of interest
the first two somehow we shed those
skins before we’re fully grown adults
hopefully right and you’ve never seen
Oprah turn to a guest and say I know you
are but what am I you you’ve never seen
that hopefully you never will
and you’ve never never seen someone even
the newscast sometimes I get kind of
crazy with their vitriol slinging back
and forth but you’ve never seen one of
them say nah
and yet Doug you didn’t know that is
still culturally accepted and promoted
and what’s the danger what’s the danger
of that because we never ask questions
if we don’t ask questions we’re not
going to discover and if we’re not
discovering there’s no innovation
they’re all interconnected what have you
wondered lately I mean really wondered I
remember wondering why the sky was blue
air is transparent so how is the sky
blue and how come I don’t see zebras in
the pastures around here how come we
don’t saddle those and ride those around
and how is it that our political leaders
do not understand that we don’t want the
speechwriters
and we don’t want the rhetoric we want
someone to just speak straight I wonder
what do you wonder because the questions
are what matter most not the answers
it’s asking the questions that’s what
matters most in the last three months
amazon has sold more sorry not sold has
released more than a million new books
in three months I could spend my whole
life reading I love reading and I can’t
read them all in three months there are
more stars in the known universe than
there are grains of sand on earth to
date we’ve explored less than 5% of the
ocean’s depths there’s so much we don’t
know so much to explore please join me I
invite you I implore you please let’s
step off of our one inch platforms let’s
stand side-by-side and say I didn’t know
that will you tell me more I want to
learn because we are all children in the
universe thank you
[Applause]
thank you lightning strikes the earth
approximately 6,000 times per minute if
a polar bear and a grizzly mate
the hybrid cub is called up is Li in
just 10 minutes a hurricane unleashes as
much force as if all the world’s nuclear
weapons were detonated at once maybe you
knew all of this I didn’t but I’ve just
broken a cardinal rule haven’t I
I’ve emitted it I didn’t know something
and I’ve admitted it publicly let me
back up duh you didn’t know that that’s
what we say isn’t it to cover the fact
that we ourselves don’t know justice
last week on campus one of my students
told me that he was sitting in a lecture
he was listening and taking notes avidly
and his his mind drifted and the student
next to him said what What did he say I
missed that and he said oh oh sorry my
mind drifted and the students sitting
next to him said well you don’t know
that and my student said well you don’t
either you’re the one that asked me why
are you making fun of me why are you
making it seem like I’m the dumb one
right and yet we do that don’t we to
cover on our own ignorance from the
drive-thru at McDonald’s to the halls of
the Ivy League’s we bluster we Bluff we
posture we puff out our chests and we
pretend that we know everything and if
you think that you’re exempt think of
the last time that you were standing
with a group of friends and they were
all talking about a movie the greatest
showmen maybe they were all talking
about the movie and you haven’t seen it
you’re standing there with them and you
want to be part of it you might be
googling out the side trying to see what
it’s about so you have something to
contribute to the conversation if you
don’t do that you might when the punch
line comes but you didn’t see it why do
we do that Russian author Anton Chekhov
says
Only Fools and charlatans know
everything and understand nothing
are we nothing more than fools and
phonies who know nothing I know that I
don’t I don’t know anything I’m 54 years
old and I’m a child in this universe
when my mother was 13 years old she was
gang-raped consequently she dropped out
of school and by the time she was 21 she
had had six children from three
different fathers four of us survived
with a 7th grade education and being a
child herself with no education she took
any job she could get she was a
nightclub dancer she was a waitress she
would scrape foods food off of patrons
plates to bring home to us I was that
kid that didn’t know anything because by
the time I quit school when I was 15 we
had moved more than 50 times you could
say there were a few gaps in my
education I was the kid that when I
heard about Romeo and Juliet I thought
they were kids in our trailer park no
idea what they were talking about yep I
was the kid that when I heard about the
Sistine Chapel said well do I have to
learn about the other 15 to understand
the sistine I was that kid I didn’t know
you were supposed to change your sheets
because you don’t use sheets when you’re
living in a car or sleeping on the floor
you don’t need them I was that kid and I
want you to know that I tried so hard to
fake it but some chasms are so wide and
so deep that it becomes impossible to
maintain the facade and yet we try don’t
we we try I see I thought I was the only
one with that sense of fraudulence in my
stomach and then I learned that you all
have it too we all have it we’re afraid
of being found out and why are we afraid
because it’s the anthropological
equivalent
of being cast away from the fire right
no mammoth leg for you tonight we’re not
gonna tell you where the cave is you
have no shelter now we’re not going to
tell you where the watering hole is you
are now ostracized from society clearly
not sufficient to sit at the fire it’s a
possible death sentence
so we faked it and we faked it till we
make it isn’t that our national motto
fake it till you make it but I want to
offer no one’s making it we’re just
still faking it
we’re just still carrying on the facade
baseball apple pie and Doug you didn’t
know that think about that it’s tragic
and why do we do it because we want the
illusion of security because knowing
something feels good doesn’t it it feels
good
even the smartest person in the world
knows this much compared to what there
is to know even the smartest person in
the world knowledge has a half-life
I just learned oh wait I can’t tell you
I just learned it cowboy duh you didn’t
know that I didn’t either I just learned
it it was exciting knowledge has a
half-life just like a can of green beans
in your pantry has a shelf life
knowledge has a half-life and in
academic subjects physics has one of the
longest half-lives yeah seven years now
I teach basic writing and as part of
that course I before E except after C
yeah that was great forty years ago it
applies to 35 words there are more than
900 words now that don’t fit the rule no
one of my students are confused when
they walk in the door right they’re
confused they have no idea what’s going
on it took me 30 years to get my
bachelor’s degree and with the
encouragement of my children I went back
and finished I was terrified to enter
the halls of Education the hallowed
halls my daughter actually went me
with me to the admin building and she
was holding my hand behind the counter I
was just shaking terrified and yet I
still know so little I have some papers
on the wall yet there’s still so much
yet to know one of my final classes was
an ethics class and in this s the ethics
class I took a yellow pad of paper and a
pen and every time he said a word I
didn’t know I wrote it down and then I’d
go home and I’d spend hours looking them
up I never heard of tautology or
bifurcate or epistemology so I wrote
them phonetically I want you to know
it’s incredible I want you to know that
if you type that into Google it’ll take
you to the right place that’s impressive
to me so knowledge epistemology is the
study of knowledge what we know what we
don’t what we believe and how we
formulate those beliefs and why we fake
it that’s the bottom line isn’t it why
we fake it I was in a classroom last
week and I happened to mention to my
students that I’d never seen Napoleon
Dynamite I know I know
no mammoths leg for me tonight I know
and I thought they were gonna fall out
of their chairs and they said you you
haven’t wait what and I said isn’t crazy
and yet here I am it’s just crazy how
this world works and I said the funny
part is if you want to stand on the
shoulders of giants you’ve got to get
out of the shadows off of that one-inch
platform where you’re looking down at
the rest of the world and judging them
couldn’t I stand up here as an English
major and say you’ve never seen Voltaire
isn’t that ridiculous with how much
there is to know would that be
ridiculous and silly the Greek
philosopher Epictetus tells us that we
cannot begin to learn what we think we
already know so we have to admit our
and I know that some of you out there
saying you you don’t know my job if I do
that it’s a death sentence I’m not
suggesting in your next business meeting
when you’re asked a question that you
say I don’t know I want you to keep your
job I’m suggesting that you give a truly
intelligent response you know I’m not
familiar with that could you tell me
more let me look into that
intelligent responses that we can emit
our vulnerability and that opens the
door for all of us to stand side-by-side
and say it’s exciting let’s learn what
do you want to learn now I know what
you’re thinking what you think the word
learn means I asked some of my students
what does it mean to truly learn and
without hesitation she raised her hand
and she said show up sit up shut up and
learn and my heart ached because if you
think about it in kindergarten you walk
in and ask a classic question what do
they do and then you call on one of them
right and by the time we get to 4th to
6th grade we’re offering him points
we’re offering him treats we’re bribing
them raise your hands raise your hands
you can raise your hands and by the time
we get to junior high in high school
Euler Euler
anyone we’ve beaten the questions right
out of them
and we’ve done it with duh you didn’t
know that but that’s just one end of the
knowledge spectrum on the other end my
daughter was in fifth grade and she was
on a twelfth grade reading level and she
was in there and she raised her hand and
she asked a question and the kid behind
her said duh the smart girl doesn’t know
everything and she came home I didn’t
know about the experience she walked in
the door I could see her crestfallen
face I said honey what happened and
words that just strike a mother’s heart
I’m never going to ask another question
that’s what we’re doing and we’re doing
it from our boardrooms to our classrooms
to our family rooms and the ridiculous
part is we’re all little peacocks
because in the whole universe we hardly
know anything this is my granddaughter
Adelaide you canoeing off no really
really thank you that feels good how
many of you have seen a baby learn to
walk a toddler yep okay yeah
what happens they fall we all see it
collectively they fall and what do they
do they get back up don’t forget that
they have that saggy diaper that landing
cushion and kind of built in it’s kind
of nice I kind of wish I had that once
in a while when I saw this was taken
just before Adelaide learned how to walk
all the adults were in the front room
she was holding on to the corner of the
coffee table her little legs were going
back and forth and we were all just like
we’re gonna solve the national debt
tonight okay we’re just we’re just right
there and she’s wobbling and she takes
that step and she fell and I said that
child is so stupid
she’ll never amount to anything I said
that in a classroom once on a 6 foot
tall
at risk tina teenager in the back flew
out of his chair knocked it on the floor
needles man that’s messed up
and I said it is messed up and I didn’t
say that why why would I not say that
because she doesn’t know she’s just
learning so I ask you now at what age
does it become acceptable to say duh you
didn’t know that or you’re stupid
at what age are we not all infants here
if you think back to the playground days
do you remember some of the phrases we
heard nah I know you are but what am I
and duh you didn’t know that of interest
the first two somehow we shed those
skins before we’re fully grown adults
hopefully right and you’ve never seen
Oprah turn to a guest and say I know you
are but what am I you you’ve never seen
that hopefully you never will
and you’ve never never seen someone even
the newscast sometimes I get kind of
crazy with their vitriol slinging back
and forth but you’ve never seen one of
them say nah
and yet Doug you didn’t know that is
still culturally accepted and promoted
and what’s the danger what’s the danger
of that because we never ask questions
if we don’t ask questions we’re not
going to discover and if we’re not
discovering there’s no innovation
they’re all interconnected what have you
wondered lately I mean really wondered I
remember wondering why the sky was blue
air is transparent so how is the sky
blue and how come I don’t see zebras in
the pastures around here how come we
don’t saddle those and ride those around
and how is it that our political leaders
do not understand that we don’t want the
speechwriters
and we don’t want the rhetoric we want
someone to just speak straight I wonder
what do you wonder because the questions
are what matter most not the answers
it’s asking the questions that’s what
matters most in the last three months
amazon has sold more sorry not sold has
released more than a million new books
in three months I could spend my whole
life reading I love reading and I can’t
read them all in three months there are
more stars in the known universe than
there are grains of sand on earth to
date we’ve explored less than 5% of the
ocean’s depths there’s so much we don’t
know so much to explore please join me I
invite you I implore you please let’s
step off of our one inch platforms let’s
stand side-by-side and say I didn’t know
that will you tell me more I want to
learn because we are all children in the
universe thank you
[Applause]
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