today we’re going to have a conversation
about children of incarcerated parents
we know and understand the effects of
mass incarceration but we get stuck up
in the realities of the crime or the
criminal or all of the things that we
see on TV now today the conversation is
going to be a whole lot different than
the conversations that we had but again
that’s what we’re here for a lot of the
times when you talk about the effects of
mass incarceration a lot of people like
to say does the Apple fall far from the
tree but what we’re really trying to say
is what I’m talking about today is does
the Apple fall far from prison at the
end of the day the statistics have
identified that children of incarcerated
parents have a greater likelihood of
spending time in prison across their
life hood if you look at that in terms
of minority children the numbers rise
substantially if you look at it in terms
of black male children now they’ve have
been to fied one in three one of the
things that I want to talk about today
is success and resilience because one of
the things that we know a whole lot
about are the negative effects of
incarceration we know about the risks
and of course those are things that are
really important to know I mean it’s
important to know that if at 11 years
old a child parent is incarcerated they
may go back maybe six years in their
lives and start wetting the bed
and if we’re treating them like their 11
year old but in their mind their brains
have been traumatized to go back to the
third grade we may be a bit off I want
to start by letting you know that this
is just not a conversation about a
decade worth of research that I’ve done
the picture that you see in front of you
is my nephew his name is Nasir and we
call him Naz his father is incarcerated
I’m dealing with this in my personal
life within my classroom and anywhere
and everywhere that I travel in the
world this is my niece she’s also
dealing with a father who’s incarcerated
she loves going to school she likes to
play with her dolls she does all of the
things that young children want to do
but the research whispers in your ear
and leads to those individuals who are
in the school system to think that she’s
only going to be the
biggest mistake that her father made and
so we popped those bubbles of dreams and
we allowed the children to be sad and to
deal with this reality on their own one
of the things that I’ve done over the
course of this lifetime and doing
research in this area was traveling to
schools this is where a lot of the
children are spending their time more
than sometimes in their own households
you would think that the conversation
there would be a little more easy to
have but it’s a lot more difficult in
fact the picture that you see in front
of you is an amazing student that
attends an elementary school in Newark
New Jersey I had the pleasure of going
to that particular school and meeting
with groups of students who not only use
the Yale ruler to be able to tap into
their emotional intelligence but we’re
honest and truthful about where they
stood and that means that you have to
have a brave principled and I always a
paw prints ax ‘pl Ortiz in front of you
is destiny’s Santiago your typical
student in elementary school you would
think from the picture
she’s also dealing with her father who
is incarcerated dealing with the
realities of that everyday within her
classroom but that doesn’t stop her from
utilizing technology to create her own
video games not only does she do that on
the side she’s winning all of these
amazing awards in math and science and
she’s a loving individual who believes
in fixing her community not placing a
bandaid when she grows up she wants to
be an attorney and when you meet her you
could just see you could see the drive
within her that she’s destined to see
those stars I would like to introduce
you to another magnificent young woman
Madison strumpet who I had the honor of
meeting in New Zealand she was dealing
with a father who was also incarcerated
this happened to her on Valentine’s Day
could you imagine the love of your life
being a
in a way not for one day or two days or
something that happened to go to the
hospital but incarceration and I know
it’s difficult for individuals to kind
of understand that particular concept
but again we’re talking about the
children who are innocent they have done
nothing they didn’t ask to be here in
the first place they are the silent
victims of mass incarceration that
continues to destroy our communities
destroys conversations but Madison is
making a difference she’s a best-selling
author of an amazing book that talks
about her father and how individuals
make mistakes within that book she
wanted to identify from a child’s
perspective what it’s like to have a
father in prison and to know that you
can strive you can reach on you can
still dream and desire all of the things
that you want medicines gone to the
White House she’s traveled all around
the nation and currently she is
nominated for the 2017 Children’s Peace
Prize one of our very own Howard
University graduates 2017 I call her big
destiny we had little destiny and now
this is big destiny destiny rental Lakes
kuma Lodi in the school of psychology
with a minor in sociology she had the
opportunity to take my criminal justice
class which we take inside of a
Correctional Facility the majority of
individuals in this class
our parents destiny was so brave I’ll
never forget the class where she stands
up in the middle of the class and you
could tell they she had to get something
off a putt chest
in that particular day we were talking
about the effects of parental
incarceration on children and she stands
up and she thrusts herself in front of
the classes she basically blurts out
with tears in her eyes get it together
everybody in the class kind of stood
back even the incarcerated individuals
but they needed to hear the reality the
children are waiting the children have
dreams
destiny felt like she was punished she
was actually born in prison
so when you tell me that individuals are
only going to be just like their parents
you are completely fooled and of course
we have negative concepts but again what
is reality if we don’t look at the other
side of the coin destiny is currently in
Chicago doing a Teach for America where
she’s teaching preschool children to
love themselves regardless of the
reality of the consequences that they
are placed with this next young lady I
smile as I say it because the more that
I see these pictures of these children
who lived through parental incarceration
it just makes my heart smile and it fits
so perfectly with the theme of this
particular event tonight because
everything is glorious and if you ask
the Kea McKnight who is a graduate and
also the director and writer of the film
served which walks individuals through
her life and her sister and dealing with
having an incarcerated mother and father
this particular weekend I had the
enjoyment of flying into Newark New
Jersey they are film festival to be able
to see the film displayed and it would
bring tears to your eyes I’m so excited
that I have these stories to share so
that children don’t think they’re the
only ones I’ve interviewed thousands of
children all around the world and they
think that they are the only ones going
through this that they have no one to
talk to but wouldn’t you think the same
thing too if everybody thought negative
about you because of what your parent
have done you would zip your lips and
you would throw away the key and that
would be the end of the conversation I
bet you it would be I know it would be
for me but you have children who are not
only succeeding and being successful but
reaching back through their books
through their films through their
resiliency and their advocacy and doing
what we know is right as adults the
young woman in front of you is a
graduate and also attending graduate
school at Howard University School of
divinity Yasmine Arrington beautiful
soul beautiful energy and the
interesting story about
particular individuals I served on the
board of an organization that she
founded call scholarships for children
of incarcerated parents and you would
not believe how difficult it is to raise
funds for children of incarcerated
parents to go to school why because of
the negativity a lot of individuals say
to me well doc don’t you see the
statistics the reality you know where is
this money going
these children are destined for
incarceration or you know is it a waste
of money in their honest they completely
feel this way this is their reality
because we don’t show anything else I
can’t point the fingers and say that
you’re wrong for even thinking that
because it’s the reality of what we’re
seeing in the media it’s the reality of
the research we’ve gone as far as death
adverse child acts perience they’re
saying that if you witnessed violence in
your community in your household and you
happen to have an incarcerated parent
you have five years less likelihood on
your life so you’re telling me we’ve
gone as far as death but we refuse to
see life yasmine brings life when she
applied to college she identified that
there were no scholarships for children
in her situation she created one amazing
and not only did she create it she
raised thousands of dollars to send
individuals all across the nation into
different schools when I first met her
she was on black girls rock and she is
one of the reasons that I’ve traveled to
DC to take this position at Howard
University because I wanted to get
closer to that I was sick of reading in
the research all of the negativity to
tell you the truth I interviewed
children of incarcerated parents in
their bedrooms with the doors closed in
the way that the research spoke I was
shivering in my boots to go and see
children and I have to be honest but as
soon as I went they greeted me at the
door with like tips and cookies I mean
they were absolutely amazing and
phenomenal
they were remorseful they had respect
they had beautiful energy and I’ll never
forget this one young fella he had the
entire room set up for the interview
yeah two little pillows sitting down he
was waiting for me to come to have a
conversation about his life he didn’t
understand why his grandmother refused
to tell him the truth about his
incarcerated father he said to me I know
that my daddy ain’t in boot camp because
my cousin comes home on the weekends
where’s my truth I had to explain to him
that it wasn’t out of a place of malice
that a lot of the times in the research
the grandparents and the caregivers and
the loved ones don’t know how to have
the conversation they don’t know where
to start in fact a lot of the times they
are forced into silence is what the
research says where you tell individuals
you better not say anything about that
or else threatening so then we don’t
allow their truth to come out it is
theirs and you know how children are
they have a lot of questions where are
we are we there yet did we get here what
time when is this all of those
particular things and definitely they
want to know about the love of the
individuals in their lives just because
a parent goes to prison does not mean
ever that the child loses that love in
fact we all know that distance makes the
heart grow fonder right when I talk
about children I’ve incarcerated parents
a lot of the times I get individuals
that say to me doc you know you should
go in every day you making it sound real
good at peachy cream that’s is that
really the reality yeah it’s the reality
I’m not saying it’s everyone I’m just
saying that every single individual that
has a parent in prison doesn’t
necessarily end up serving a sentence or
even going into the juvenile justice
system now I wanted to throw somebody in
there that had a couple of twists and
turns this is another student graduate
of Howard University choir me at Rice
he’s all over the news right now
his father was incarcerated and served a
life sentence at the same time one of
his best friends was murdered in his
community and Philly he decided to
Dibble and dabble with the streets and
found himself in the juvenile justice
system and today he’s graduated never
went into the adult system and is living
his life like any individual would and
would want to yes
the Apple may have gotten a little bit
closest to the prison but it didn’t go
in there
in fact it helped him in my juvenile
justice class he comes in and speaks to
the individuals in his attire and it’s
absolutely amazing that you can do it it
hurt that boy he didn’t have anybody to
really talk to when I talked to him he
still has questions about his father’s
incarceration and he’s grown I’m talking
to adults 50 60 and even younger than
that who still have questions because
we’re so afraid to talk about it people
think that because we say mass
incarceration or we call it a rites of
passage that everybody is walking around
talking about it not that’s not the case
in fact we talk about it very rarely in
our communities even less within our
households Tony Lewis jr. native
Washingtonian I like to bring him up all
the time because he’s the epitome of
success he is a community man he’s
married he has two beautiful children
and that guy in the khaki collar shirt
that you see that’s his dad he’s
incarcerated he’s serving a life
sentence without the possibility of
parole man he loves his father he wrote
a book called slug and it’s absolutely
amazing I use it in all of my criminal
justice classes and he talks about the
reality of growing up in the streets of
DC was he ever incarcerated no does he
love his father yes is he a strong
community man yes
is he a strong black brother yes is he a
child of an incarcerated parent yes but
what does that mean we all have trials
and tribulations so when you hear that
question about incarceration and they
say does the Apple fall far from the
tree when in fact they’re looking at
does it fall far from prison I dare you
to think about the positive side there’s
always good in everything you would be
fooled to think that everything is
negative and
that makes you sick to think that way
and it’s difficult to even find your way
back from all of that find good and
everything because I find the good and
children of incarcerated parents I will
continue to love the ones within my
family and all of the ones that I come
in contact with peace and thank you
[Applause]
about children of incarcerated parents
we know and understand the effects of
mass incarceration but we get stuck up
in the realities of the crime or the
criminal or all of the things that we
see on TV now today the conversation is
going to be a whole lot different than
the conversations that we had but again
that’s what we’re here for a lot of the
times when you talk about the effects of
mass incarceration a lot of people like
to say does the Apple fall far from the
tree but what we’re really trying to say
is what I’m talking about today is does
the Apple fall far from prison at the
end of the day the statistics have
identified that children of incarcerated
parents have a greater likelihood of
spending time in prison across their
life hood if you look at that in terms
of minority children the numbers rise
substantially if you look at it in terms
of black male children now they’ve have
been to fied one in three one of the
things that I want to talk about today
is success and resilience because one of
the things that we know a whole lot
about are the negative effects of
incarceration we know about the risks
and of course those are things that are
really important to know I mean it’s
important to know that if at 11 years
old a child parent is incarcerated they
may go back maybe six years in their
lives and start wetting the bed
and if we’re treating them like their 11
year old but in their mind their brains
have been traumatized to go back to the
third grade we may be a bit off I want
to start by letting you know that this
is just not a conversation about a
decade worth of research that I’ve done
the picture that you see in front of you
is my nephew his name is Nasir and we
call him Naz his father is incarcerated
I’m dealing with this in my personal
life within my classroom and anywhere
and everywhere that I travel in the
world this is my niece she’s also
dealing with a father who’s incarcerated
she loves going to school she likes to
play with her dolls she does all of the
things that young children want to do
but the research whispers in your ear
and leads to those individuals who are
in the school system to think that she’s
only going to be the
biggest mistake that her father made and
so we popped those bubbles of dreams and
we allowed the children to be sad and to
deal with this reality on their own one
of the things that I’ve done over the
course of this lifetime and doing
research in this area was traveling to
schools this is where a lot of the
children are spending their time more
than sometimes in their own households
you would think that the conversation
there would be a little more easy to
have but it’s a lot more difficult in
fact the picture that you see in front
of you is an amazing student that
attends an elementary school in Newark
New Jersey I had the pleasure of going
to that particular school and meeting
with groups of students who not only use
the Yale ruler to be able to tap into
their emotional intelligence but we’re
honest and truthful about where they
stood and that means that you have to
have a brave principled and I always a
paw prints ax ‘pl Ortiz in front of you
is destiny’s Santiago your typical
student in elementary school you would
think from the picture
she’s also dealing with her father who
is incarcerated dealing with the
realities of that everyday within her
classroom but that doesn’t stop her from
utilizing technology to create her own
video games not only does she do that on
the side she’s winning all of these
amazing awards in math and science and
she’s a loving individual who believes
in fixing her community not placing a
bandaid when she grows up she wants to
be an attorney and when you meet her you
could just see you could see the drive
within her that she’s destined to see
those stars I would like to introduce
you to another magnificent young woman
Madison strumpet who I had the honor of
meeting in New Zealand she was dealing
with a father who was also incarcerated
this happened to her on Valentine’s Day
could you imagine the love of your life
being a
in a way not for one day or two days or
something that happened to go to the
hospital but incarceration and I know
it’s difficult for individuals to kind
of understand that particular concept
but again we’re talking about the
children who are innocent they have done
nothing they didn’t ask to be here in
the first place they are the silent
victims of mass incarceration that
continues to destroy our communities
destroys conversations but Madison is
making a difference she’s a best-selling
author of an amazing book that talks
about her father and how individuals
make mistakes within that book she
wanted to identify from a child’s
perspective what it’s like to have a
father in prison and to know that you
can strive you can reach on you can
still dream and desire all of the things
that you want medicines gone to the
White House she’s traveled all around
the nation and currently she is
nominated for the 2017 Children’s Peace
Prize one of our very own Howard
University graduates 2017 I call her big
destiny we had little destiny and now
this is big destiny destiny rental Lakes
kuma Lodi in the school of psychology
with a minor in sociology she had the
opportunity to take my criminal justice
class which we take inside of a
Correctional Facility the majority of
individuals in this class
our parents destiny was so brave I’ll
never forget the class where she stands
up in the middle of the class and you
could tell they she had to get something
off a putt chest
in that particular day we were talking
about the effects of parental
incarceration on children and she stands
up and she thrusts herself in front of
the classes she basically blurts out
with tears in her eyes get it together
everybody in the class kind of stood
back even the incarcerated individuals
but they needed to hear the reality the
children are waiting the children have
dreams
destiny felt like she was punished she
was actually born in prison
so when you tell me that individuals are
only going to be just like their parents
you are completely fooled and of course
we have negative concepts but again what
is reality if we don’t look at the other
side of the coin destiny is currently in
Chicago doing a Teach for America where
she’s teaching preschool children to
love themselves regardless of the
reality of the consequences that they
are placed with this next young lady I
smile as I say it because the more that
I see these pictures of these children
who lived through parental incarceration
it just makes my heart smile and it fits
so perfectly with the theme of this
particular event tonight because
everything is glorious and if you ask
the Kea McKnight who is a graduate and
also the director and writer of the film
served which walks individuals through
her life and her sister and dealing with
having an incarcerated mother and father
this particular weekend I had the
enjoyment of flying into Newark New
Jersey they are film festival to be able
to see the film displayed and it would
bring tears to your eyes I’m so excited
that I have these stories to share so
that children don’t think they’re the
only ones I’ve interviewed thousands of
children all around the world and they
think that they are the only ones going
through this that they have no one to
talk to but wouldn’t you think the same
thing too if everybody thought negative
about you because of what your parent
have done you would zip your lips and
you would throw away the key and that
would be the end of the conversation I
bet you it would be I know it would be
for me but you have children who are not
only succeeding and being successful but
reaching back through their books
through their films through their
resiliency and their advocacy and doing
what we know is right as adults the
young woman in front of you is a
graduate and also attending graduate
school at Howard University School of
divinity Yasmine Arrington beautiful
soul beautiful energy and the
interesting story about
particular individuals I served on the
board of an organization that she
founded call scholarships for children
of incarcerated parents and you would
not believe how difficult it is to raise
funds for children of incarcerated
parents to go to school why because of
the negativity a lot of individuals say
to me well doc don’t you see the
statistics the reality you know where is
this money going
these children are destined for
incarceration or you know is it a waste
of money in their honest they completely
feel this way this is their reality
because we don’t show anything else I
can’t point the fingers and say that
you’re wrong for even thinking that
because it’s the reality of what we’re
seeing in the media it’s the reality of
the research we’ve gone as far as death
adverse child acts perience they’re
saying that if you witnessed violence in
your community in your household and you
happen to have an incarcerated parent
you have five years less likelihood on
your life so you’re telling me we’ve
gone as far as death but we refuse to
see life yasmine brings life when she
applied to college she identified that
there were no scholarships for children
in her situation she created one amazing
and not only did she create it she
raised thousands of dollars to send
individuals all across the nation into
different schools when I first met her
she was on black girls rock and she is
one of the reasons that I’ve traveled to
DC to take this position at Howard
University because I wanted to get
closer to that I was sick of reading in
the research all of the negativity to
tell you the truth I interviewed
children of incarcerated parents in
their bedrooms with the doors closed in
the way that the research spoke I was
shivering in my boots to go and see
children and I have to be honest but as
soon as I went they greeted me at the
door with like tips and cookies I mean
they were absolutely amazing and
phenomenal
they were remorseful they had respect
they had beautiful energy and I’ll never
forget this one young fella he had the
entire room set up for the interview
yeah two little pillows sitting down he
was waiting for me to come to have a
conversation about his life he didn’t
understand why his grandmother refused
to tell him the truth about his
incarcerated father he said to me I know
that my daddy ain’t in boot camp because
my cousin comes home on the weekends
where’s my truth I had to explain to him
that it wasn’t out of a place of malice
that a lot of the times in the research
the grandparents and the caregivers and
the loved ones don’t know how to have
the conversation they don’t know where
to start in fact a lot of the times they
are forced into silence is what the
research says where you tell individuals
you better not say anything about that
or else threatening so then we don’t
allow their truth to come out it is
theirs and you know how children are
they have a lot of questions where are
we are we there yet did we get here what
time when is this all of those
particular things and definitely they
want to know about the love of the
individuals in their lives just because
a parent goes to prison does not mean
ever that the child loses that love in
fact we all know that distance makes the
heart grow fonder right when I talk
about children I’ve incarcerated parents
a lot of the times I get individuals
that say to me doc you know you should
go in every day you making it sound real
good at peachy cream that’s is that
really the reality yeah it’s the reality
I’m not saying it’s everyone I’m just
saying that every single individual that
has a parent in prison doesn’t
necessarily end up serving a sentence or
even going into the juvenile justice
system now I wanted to throw somebody in
there that had a couple of twists and
turns this is another student graduate
of Howard University choir me at Rice
he’s all over the news right now
his father was incarcerated and served a
life sentence at the same time one of
his best friends was murdered in his
community and Philly he decided to
Dibble and dabble with the streets and
found himself in the juvenile justice
system and today he’s graduated never
went into the adult system and is living
his life like any individual would and
would want to yes
the Apple may have gotten a little bit
closest to the prison but it didn’t go
in there
in fact it helped him in my juvenile
justice class he comes in and speaks to
the individuals in his attire and it’s
absolutely amazing that you can do it it
hurt that boy he didn’t have anybody to
really talk to when I talked to him he
still has questions about his father’s
incarceration and he’s grown I’m talking
to adults 50 60 and even younger than
that who still have questions because
we’re so afraid to talk about it people
think that because we say mass
incarceration or we call it a rites of
passage that everybody is walking around
talking about it not that’s not the case
in fact we talk about it very rarely in
our communities even less within our
households Tony Lewis jr. native
Washingtonian I like to bring him up all
the time because he’s the epitome of
success he is a community man he’s
married he has two beautiful children
and that guy in the khaki collar shirt
that you see that’s his dad he’s
incarcerated he’s serving a life
sentence without the possibility of
parole man he loves his father he wrote
a book called slug and it’s absolutely
amazing I use it in all of my criminal
justice classes and he talks about the
reality of growing up in the streets of
DC was he ever incarcerated no does he
love his father yes is he a strong
community man yes
is he a strong black brother yes is he a
child of an incarcerated parent yes but
what does that mean we all have trials
and tribulations so when you hear that
question about incarceration and they
say does the Apple fall far from the
tree when in fact they’re looking at
does it fall far from prison I dare you
to think about the positive side there’s
always good in everything you would be
fooled to think that everything is
negative and
that makes you sick to think that way
and it’s difficult to even find your way
back from all of that find good and
everything because I find the good and
children of incarcerated parents I will
continue to love the ones within my
family and all of the ones that I come
in contact with peace and thank you
[Applause]
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