[Music]
do you love yourself two years ago I was
sitting in a coffee shop with a friend
and she asked me Dina do you love
yourself my mind went into a tizzy
wondering what on earth is this
mumbo-jumbo nonsense my eyes were
shifting around the room and I was
nervously shifting in my chair It was as
if she had asked me this complicated
math problem that only a PhD candidate
would know I mustered up the energy and
said yeah sure I thought I was stuff
she totally loved myself truthfully I
did not well why is this concept of
self-love so bizarre to me let me take
you into my past I’m 14 years old and
entered the school cafeteria I can’t
help but notice sitting there on the
table is one lonely Oreo inside a
plastic bag one snack sighs wunderbar
and one delicious looking banana my
friend Denis spots me staring and says
he couldn’t finish them they’re all
yours oh I look at that Oreo the top and
bottom chocolate wafer look like arms
reaching out beckoning me to eat it that
white layer of icing in the middle look
like pillowy clouds of heaven oh how I
wish I was in heaven
I would devour you in a second a voice
pops into my head
Dina don’t you even dare think of eating
that Oreo another voice pops into my
head that Oreo has 45 calories that
wunderbar has 6
and that banana has 105 calories I’m
dying for the Oreo what if I cut it in
half and do an extra 10 minutes on the
elliptical tonight but I really want the
caramel inside that wunderbar
what if I eat it and do an extra 30
minutes tonight I was had eating
disorders as a child and even though it
was so long ago over 20 years ago my
past has always haunted me while I did
recover physically I have always blamed
myself for being anorexic and I have
never taken the time to properly forgive
myself and allow myself to heal both
emotionally and mentally two years ago I
decided to write my memoir with the hope
that no other young child would have to
feel as alone and different as I did as
a young girl the book started out as a
way to help others but it slowly turned
to my own journey of self-discovery
lifting up my rug and cleaning out all
the filth and dust underneath it all the
shame all the guilt and all the
suppressed emotions as I looked into my
past
it became glaringly obvious that I did
not have any sense of love and
connection to myself and that was very
difficult to realize writing my memoir
forced me to look into my past and to
embrace it and to acknowledge it
so that I could finally move forward
with my life you don’t need to write a
memoir to establish that sense of love
and connection to yourself I was
essentially just writing in a diary and
asking my family to help me better
understand my past I’ve learned that all
you really need is the willingness to
open up to be vulnerable and to listen
to the answers that come your way
especially the ones that you don’t want
to hear or that might be difficult to
hear looking into my past was the most
difficult thing I’ve ever had to do but
let me share with you a story as to why
it was all worth it last year I was in
my apartment getting ready to meet a
friend for dinner so I went through the
mental checklist in my mind jeans on
shirt on sweater in my purse in case I
get cold curling iron at a socket I
turned to the mirror to do one final
check and something happened that I
would have never expected I looked into
the mirror deep into my own eyes and I
smiled it caught me so off guard that my
eyes started to well up with tears I
finally understood what that question
meant and more importantly I really felt
it I loved all parts of myself from my
frizzy hair to my imperfect skin and to
my past that I have always been so
ashamed of looking into my past has
helped me to finally live a life of
inner peace and love you two deserve to
look in the mirror
and smile and feel that deep sense of
love and connection to the most
important person in your life and that
is you thank you [Applause]
do you love yourself two years ago I was
sitting in a coffee shop with a friend
and she asked me Dina do you love
yourself my mind went into a tizzy
wondering what on earth is this
mumbo-jumbo nonsense my eyes were
shifting around the room and I was
nervously shifting in my chair It was as
if she had asked me this complicated
math problem that only a PhD candidate
would know I mustered up the energy and
said yeah sure I thought I was stuff
she totally loved myself truthfully I
did not well why is this concept of
self-love so bizarre to me let me take
you into my past I’m 14 years old and
entered the school cafeteria I can’t
help but notice sitting there on the
table is one lonely Oreo inside a
plastic bag one snack sighs wunderbar
and one delicious looking banana my
friend Denis spots me staring and says
he couldn’t finish them they’re all
yours oh I look at that Oreo the top and
bottom chocolate wafer look like arms
reaching out beckoning me to eat it that
white layer of icing in the middle look
like pillowy clouds of heaven oh how I
wish I was in heaven
I would devour you in a second a voice
pops into my head
Dina don’t you even dare think of eating
that Oreo another voice pops into my
head that Oreo has 45 calories that
wunderbar has 6
and that banana has 105 calories I’m
dying for the Oreo what if I cut it in
half and do an extra 10 minutes on the
elliptical tonight but I really want the
caramel inside that wunderbar
what if I eat it and do an extra 30
minutes tonight I was had eating
disorders as a child and even though it
was so long ago over 20 years ago my
past has always haunted me while I did
recover physically I have always blamed
myself for being anorexic and I have
never taken the time to properly forgive
myself and allow myself to heal both
emotionally and mentally two years ago I
decided to write my memoir with the hope
that no other young child would have to
feel as alone and different as I did as
a young girl the book started out as a
way to help others but it slowly turned
to my own journey of self-discovery
lifting up my rug and cleaning out all
the filth and dust underneath it all the
shame all the guilt and all the
suppressed emotions as I looked into my
past
it became glaringly obvious that I did
not have any sense of love and
connection to myself and that was very
difficult to realize writing my memoir
forced me to look into my past and to
embrace it and to acknowledge it
so that I could finally move forward
with my life you don’t need to write a
memoir to establish that sense of love
and connection to yourself I was
essentially just writing in a diary and
asking my family to help me better
understand my past I’ve learned that all
you really need is the willingness to
open up to be vulnerable and to listen
to the answers that come your way
especially the ones that you don’t want
to hear or that might be difficult to
hear looking into my past was the most
difficult thing I’ve ever had to do but
let me share with you a story as to why
it was all worth it last year I was in
my apartment getting ready to meet a
friend for dinner so I went through the
mental checklist in my mind jeans on
shirt on sweater in my purse in case I
get cold curling iron at a socket I
turned to the mirror to do one final
check and something happened that I
would have never expected I looked into
the mirror deep into my own eyes and I
smiled it caught me so off guard that my
eyes started to well up with tears I
finally understood what that question
meant and more importantly I really felt
it I loved all parts of myself from my
frizzy hair to my imperfect skin and to
my past that I have always been so
ashamed of looking into my past has
helped me to finally live a life of
inner peace and love you two deserve to
look in the mirror
and smile and feel that deep sense of
love and connection to the most
important person in your life and that
is you thank you [Applause]
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