[Music]
I’m going to begin my 18 minutes under
this incredible TEDx spotlight with a
quote the quote is we are not human
beings seeking a spiritual existence we
are spiritual beings having a human
experience think about it because when I
heard this quote for me in my life
everything changed
we have so much of fear within us we
fear loss whether it’s financial whether
it’s professional whether it’s personal
we fear death we fear pain there’s so
much fear within us at all points of
time and when you see things in
perspective and say it’s just a human
experience and we all need to go through
it you see it so differently the voltage
the charge that it carries just just
disappears you see your life in
perspective everything changes around
you it’s like you’re riding this
incredible wave but instead of being
crushed under the waves you’re riding it
the closest analogy I can give you is
that perhaps of being on a roller
coaster when you’re on a roller coaster
you take your seat belt you strap it on
and you get ready for this ride exactly
the same way as you do with the journey
of life you buckle yourself in and say
that’s it and then your roller coaster
begins and they’re these lovely twists
and turns and everyone’s laughing and
clapping and it’s a great ride and then
suddenly you’re on top of this huge
plunge and you’re looking down and
there’s a sphere and you’re scared and
whoa the whole roller coaster goes down
in you’re screaming but despite the fact
that you’re screaming you’re enjoying
the ride there’s a thrill attached to it
as an association that you just know
okay it’s a ride I’m going to enjoy this
ride it’s very similar with the journey
of life to me
it was this quote I’m sure there were
many times in your life when there be
these incidents which are life-changing
in a flash something happens and you see
a person or you see people or you see a
situation or you see relationships very
differently perhaps you read a book and
that book is life-changing and
transformative perhaps it’s a quote like
in my case so what changes your
perspective changes and when your
perspective changes your attitude
changes and when your attitude changes
your life changes I’m going to repeat
that because it’s important when your
perspective changes your attitude
changes and when your attitude changes
your life changes your life changes
forever
you take that backwards if you are not
happy today with where your life is at
if you are unhappy or if you’re happy or
if you’re not satisfied where your life
is at it’s a result of your attitudes
which in turn are shaped by your
perspectives so what creates your
perspectives it’s what’s known as your
seer programming s for social efore
economic efore experiences and alpha
religious so you are a sum total of your
experiences your social conditioning
your economic conditioning and your
religious conditioning that becomes your
belief system and it is deeply ingrained
within you and that is where you operate
from that’s gorgeous your programming
I’ll give you an example so say for
example you’re really really really
small and you have a sibling and your
parent says look at your sibling they’re
so good they’re so amazing why can’t you
be like them and then you think to
yourself I’m not good enough and then
you grew a little bigger and you go to
school and they’re you’re not the best
kid in class nor the brightest kid in
class and the teacher shouts at you and
says look at the other children they’re
doing so well shame on you buck up and
you say I’m not good enough
then you grow a little bigger and
somebody comes into your life that you
really like and you propose to that
person and that person rejects you and
again you think I’m not good enough then
you grow a little bigger you try to get
job either you reject it for your job or
you get the job but you don’t get the
promotion and again you say I’m not good
enough now that becomes your core
operating belief system and now every
decision because it’s been amplified
that I am not good enough you will never
make a life choice that is actually
worthy of you because you don’t feel
good enough so tomorrow of a great job
opportunity is flashed in the papers you
wanna apply for it because you believe
you’re not good enough you like a girl a
guy you really want them in your life
but you have no courage to approach them
because your operating system is I am
not good enough
you have to change your operating system
you have to upgrade your operating
system or you have to completely change
your entire software if you want things
to be different think about it if you
look at your life do you see the glass
typically as they say do you see it
half-full or do you see it half-empty
where is your sweet even that is part of
how you are ingrained to think and
behave do you have a sway to optimism do
tend to sway to pessimism if life throws
something difficult your way do you look
at it and say oh here’s a good challenge
I’m going to come out of it really
strong I’m going to rise to it and I’m
going to make this my building block and
watch in how I come out of it or do you
say damn it all these obstacles and
they’re in my path and everyone’s trying
to come in my way do you when you fall
flat on your face you turn around and
dust yourself and get up and say try try
and I’ll succeed or do you turn around
and say dammit I always fall down and
nobody’s beside me and you play the
victim card over and over and over again
do you see yourself as a victim do you
see yourself as a victim what is your
programming have you be brought up
perhaps in an environment which has
constantly been mother’s complaining and
critical fault finding more than
solution finding look around you look at
what you’ve come into the world with
what has shaped you to being the way you
are today when you blame people when you
blame others you get so angry when you
blame yourself you feel so guilty and
when you blame circumstances or blame
the stars or blame karma you feel so
helpless when I talk about deprogrammed
reprogram and reinvent it starts with
you doesn’t matter what has been around
you till date this is your journey at
this very moment you will start with
accepting responsibility for where you
are at today you have to take full
responsibility for all your choices the
clothes you wear were your choice the
car you drive the home you have the job
you seek the spouse of partner that you
are involved with the
these are all your choices you are
nothing but a result of your choices if
you say other people made those choices
for me well you let those people make
that choice for you that too was a
choice to let other people make that
choice for you if you say I’m helpless
that too is a choice do you feel
helpless is also a choice when do you
recognize how much power you have when
you recognize how powerful all of you
are so often our word people say I don’t
like being around negative people I keep
them far away from me I only surround
myself with positive people right sounds
familiar
the point is why do you believe that
negativity can overpower positivity why
do you not also believe that your
positivity will actually rub off on to
that negative person and you can
transform a negative person into a
positive one why do you limit yourself
by these ingrained belief systems or
what people say and that’s just the way
it is one of the most debilitating
mindset programs that a lot of people
are programmed with and unfortunately a
lot in India are is what will people
think and our whole lives we are
constantly constructing and
deconstructing ourselves based on trying
to fit in and trying to think about how
other people will view us and therefore
how we should lead our lives when I was
about seven or eight years old
my mother who was extremely bohemian and
she is a classical respected Indian
dancer she decided in a show of protest
to be a rebel
she streaked across Juhu beach and of
course there was paparazzi and I went to
school and my friend said my mommy said
your mummy is so shocking so I went home
and I said mom you have to stop doing
whatever you’re doing because you’re so
shocking
and she looked at me says really well
can you describe shocking and I said you
know shocking you’re so shocking and she
said that’s not a description let me
describe the world shocking to you
she’s a desert woman in a fundamentalist
regime and that woman gets flogged for
showing a bit of her wrist that woman
will look at a woman in India in a
partner and say God when she cooks or
when she’s out there her wrist shows
that’s so shocking the woman in a folder
says what not since how dare you call me
shocking my face is covered shocking is
the woman who’s uncovered her face and
shows her face to everybody that is
shocking the woman who’s uncovered says
excuse me at least I have my Sanskrit
the–and Sabitha i’m at least wearing
Indian clothes what I think is shocking
are those women out there who wear jeans
it’s not our culture to wear jeans
that’s so shocking the woman who Jean
says hello excuse me I’m fully clothed
thank you very much shocking is the girl
in the miniskirt she showing a leg the
girl in a miniskirt says excuse me
I’m not shocking at least I’ve covered
myself till here shocking the girl in
the bikini the girl in the bikini turns
around says excuse me I have covered my
private parts I’m not shocking truth him
a baby street naked on the beach she’s
shocking she too didn’t weigh anything
at all and my mom says and so darling
it’s come right back to me what do I
think is shocking I think that woman in
the fundamentalist regime who cannot
show a bit of a risk to have me flogged
for it I think that is shocking she says
everything comes a full circle and
constantly in life we’re living in
judgment of other people and pointing
fingers and pointing fingers and
pointing fingers and all you’re doing is
going round and round and round in
circles trying to please people
constructing yourself deconstructing
yourself trying to fit in and it’s never
good enough because everybody’s got a
finger to point so what do you do you
move forward you do your thing if you’re
not breaking the lower hurting anybody
you just go out there and do your thing
when I was in my teenage years when I
was in my teenage years I was the wild
rebel child as for societal standards
because I will miniskirt and bikinis and
because I was drinking alcohol and I had
boyfriends and I had no deadlines at
night and all these mothers would
caution their daughters about
spending too much time with me notes
rabbits karana to talk to the other
girls who are more conventional etc etc
today I have an award-winning column in
the leading newspaper of this country I
have these incredible workshops I
represent the strong emancipated woman
of this country today and I have all
these women coming up to me all walks of
life coming up to me and saying I want
my daughter to be just like you and I
laugh because I’m still that same person
I still wear my miniskirts and bikinis
and I still drink and I still don’t have
deadlines I’m the same person society
changes the acceptance changes what you
do suddenly appeals to them they negate
everything else you just continue
forward and do your own thing just go
out there and do what you believe in and
carry on undeterred because at some
point you would be loved and adored for
simply being who you are because you had
such conviction in being yourself when
you start deep programming when you
start breaking these boundaries when you
start challenging things you turn around
and say if I can do it for myself I need
to make my environment around me
conducive to that – it’ll enable my
process so what you do is simultaneously
you start helping other people
I remember my cousin’s sister came home
crying one day because she had a really
dark complexion born to a south indian
father and she said she came to my mom
and she said you know everyone teases me
so much in school all the time and they
make fun of my complexion and call me
Blacky and all kinds of things that she
was really really crying they’re young
and of course relatives were sitting
around and everybody had an opinion some
of them said oh just ignore it it
doesn’t matter there’s nothing you can
do about it somebody said use bleach you
know they’re all these solutions coming
up and my mom just looked at her and
said my darling she said do you realize
that if there’s a white spot and a
person’s skin is called a disease and if
there’s a black spot on someone’s face
is called a beauty spot it’s just a
question of perspective but that changed
so much for my cousin’s sister from that
day onwards anyone who came up to her
and made an unkind comment about the
color of her skin
she just shot that quote back to them
and walked out with her attitude and a
head held high because she felt so
goddamn good about it that’s the power
of a quote that’s the best the power of
a single perspective that just changes
and everything changes in your life just
based on that moment when you talk about
quantum physics versus Newtonian physics
Newtonian physics says you’re matter
quantum physics says if you break down
that matter down to molecules and
electrons and protons and neutrons and
you open that up all you see are energy
waves so you are nothing but
encapsulated energy waves vibrating and
the common thing is what you vibrate at
is what you attract what you vibrate at
is what you attract and it’s true
because when your frequency matches a
certain frequency that’s all you keep
bringing into your life and you have to
constantly go out there and vibrate with
the frequency you want to vibrate at to
enable and attract the future that you
all want for yourselves you can at this
moment today sit down and say I am a
product of my past my fear programming
my social economic experiences my
religious programming has taught me to
be scared to be frightened not to speak
up not to do this not to do that the
knots are so plenty in all these
programming’s you can turn around and
say I am a product of my past or you can
turn around and say I want to be this
person in the future and you visualize
what you want for your future you
visualize exactly down to the last
detail
the life the perfect life that you
visualize for yourself thirty years down
the line 40 years down the line this is
who I want to be and where I want to be
at and every action you take today every
single thought every single action that
you take today is because of the future
and not because of the past you can
operate from your past or you can
operate from your future you can be a
victim if you choose to call it off your
past or you can enable that change by
simply wanting to be that person
to see yourself being in the future when
each of you goes back home today I urge
you to look closely at the programs that
are limiting you deconstruct yourself
what other don’ts worse is the dues what
are your fears what are your limitations
there are so many modalities out there
from hypnosis to NLP and various
modalities out there to help you
deprogram yourself use them go out there
everybody and be the most empowered
version of yourself
simply because you can thank you
[Applause]
I’m going to begin my 18 minutes under
this incredible TEDx spotlight with a
quote the quote is we are not human
beings seeking a spiritual existence we
are spiritual beings having a human
experience think about it because when I
heard this quote for me in my life
everything changed
we have so much of fear within us we
fear loss whether it’s financial whether
it’s professional whether it’s personal
we fear death we fear pain there’s so
much fear within us at all points of
time and when you see things in
perspective and say it’s just a human
experience and we all need to go through
it you see it so differently the voltage
the charge that it carries just just
disappears you see your life in
perspective everything changes around
you it’s like you’re riding this
incredible wave but instead of being
crushed under the waves you’re riding it
the closest analogy I can give you is
that perhaps of being on a roller
coaster when you’re on a roller coaster
you take your seat belt you strap it on
and you get ready for this ride exactly
the same way as you do with the journey
of life you buckle yourself in and say
that’s it and then your roller coaster
begins and they’re these lovely twists
and turns and everyone’s laughing and
clapping and it’s a great ride and then
suddenly you’re on top of this huge
plunge and you’re looking down and
there’s a sphere and you’re scared and
whoa the whole roller coaster goes down
in you’re screaming but despite the fact
that you’re screaming you’re enjoying
the ride there’s a thrill attached to it
as an association that you just know
okay it’s a ride I’m going to enjoy this
ride it’s very similar with the journey
of life to me
it was this quote I’m sure there were
many times in your life when there be
these incidents which are life-changing
in a flash something happens and you see
a person or you see people or you see a
situation or you see relationships very
differently perhaps you read a book and
that book is life-changing and
transformative perhaps it’s a quote like
in my case so what changes your
perspective changes and when your
perspective changes your attitude
changes and when your attitude changes
your life changes I’m going to repeat
that because it’s important when your
perspective changes your attitude
changes and when your attitude changes
your life changes your life changes
forever
you take that backwards if you are not
happy today with where your life is at
if you are unhappy or if you’re happy or
if you’re not satisfied where your life
is at it’s a result of your attitudes
which in turn are shaped by your
perspectives so what creates your
perspectives it’s what’s known as your
seer programming s for social efore
economic efore experiences and alpha
religious so you are a sum total of your
experiences your social conditioning
your economic conditioning and your
religious conditioning that becomes your
belief system and it is deeply ingrained
within you and that is where you operate
from that’s gorgeous your programming
I’ll give you an example so say for
example you’re really really really
small and you have a sibling and your
parent says look at your sibling they’re
so good they’re so amazing why can’t you
be like them and then you think to
yourself I’m not good enough and then
you grew a little bigger and you go to
school and they’re you’re not the best
kid in class nor the brightest kid in
class and the teacher shouts at you and
says look at the other children they’re
doing so well shame on you buck up and
you say I’m not good enough
then you grow a little bigger and
somebody comes into your life that you
really like and you propose to that
person and that person rejects you and
again you think I’m not good enough then
you grow a little bigger you try to get
job either you reject it for your job or
you get the job but you don’t get the
promotion and again you say I’m not good
enough now that becomes your core
operating belief system and now every
decision because it’s been amplified
that I am not good enough you will never
make a life choice that is actually
worthy of you because you don’t feel
good enough so tomorrow of a great job
opportunity is flashed in the papers you
wanna apply for it because you believe
you’re not good enough you like a girl a
guy you really want them in your life
but you have no courage to approach them
because your operating system is I am
not good enough
you have to change your operating system
you have to upgrade your operating
system or you have to completely change
your entire software if you want things
to be different think about it if you
look at your life do you see the glass
typically as they say do you see it
half-full or do you see it half-empty
where is your sweet even that is part of
how you are ingrained to think and
behave do you have a sway to optimism do
tend to sway to pessimism if life throws
something difficult your way do you look
at it and say oh here’s a good challenge
I’m going to come out of it really
strong I’m going to rise to it and I’m
going to make this my building block and
watch in how I come out of it or do you
say damn it all these obstacles and
they’re in my path and everyone’s trying
to come in my way do you when you fall
flat on your face you turn around and
dust yourself and get up and say try try
and I’ll succeed or do you turn around
and say dammit I always fall down and
nobody’s beside me and you play the
victim card over and over and over again
do you see yourself as a victim do you
see yourself as a victim what is your
programming have you be brought up
perhaps in an environment which has
constantly been mother’s complaining and
critical fault finding more than
solution finding look around you look at
what you’ve come into the world with
what has shaped you to being the way you
are today when you blame people when you
blame others you get so angry when you
blame yourself you feel so guilty and
when you blame circumstances or blame
the stars or blame karma you feel so
helpless when I talk about deprogrammed
reprogram and reinvent it starts with
you doesn’t matter what has been around
you till date this is your journey at
this very moment you will start with
accepting responsibility for where you
are at today you have to take full
responsibility for all your choices the
clothes you wear were your choice the
car you drive the home you have the job
you seek the spouse of partner that you
are involved with the
these are all your choices you are
nothing but a result of your choices if
you say other people made those choices
for me well you let those people make
that choice for you that too was a
choice to let other people make that
choice for you if you say I’m helpless
that too is a choice do you feel
helpless is also a choice when do you
recognize how much power you have when
you recognize how powerful all of you
are so often our word people say I don’t
like being around negative people I keep
them far away from me I only surround
myself with positive people right sounds
familiar
the point is why do you believe that
negativity can overpower positivity why
do you not also believe that your
positivity will actually rub off on to
that negative person and you can
transform a negative person into a
positive one why do you limit yourself
by these ingrained belief systems or
what people say and that’s just the way
it is one of the most debilitating
mindset programs that a lot of people
are programmed with and unfortunately a
lot in India are is what will people
think and our whole lives we are
constantly constructing and
deconstructing ourselves based on trying
to fit in and trying to think about how
other people will view us and therefore
how we should lead our lives when I was
about seven or eight years old
my mother who was extremely bohemian and
she is a classical respected Indian
dancer she decided in a show of protest
to be a rebel
she streaked across Juhu beach and of
course there was paparazzi and I went to
school and my friend said my mommy said
your mummy is so shocking so I went home
and I said mom you have to stop doing
whatever you’re doing because you’re so
shocking
and she looked at me says really well
can you describe shocking and I said you
know shocking you’re so shocking and she
said that’s not a description let me
describe the world shocking to you
she’s a desert woman in a fundamentalist
regime and that woman gets flogged for
showing a bit of her wrist that woman
will look at a woman in India in a
partner and say God when she cooks or
when she’s out there her wrist shows
that’s so shocking the woman in a folder
says what not since how dare you call me
shocking my face is covered shocking is
the woman who’s uncovered her face and
shows her face to everybody that is
shocking the woman who’s uncovered says
excuse me at least I have my Sanskrit
the–and Sabitha i’m at least wearing
Indian clothes what I think is shocking
are those women out there who wear jeans
it’s not our culture to wear jeans
that’s so shocking the woman who Jean
says hello excuse me I’m fully clothed
thank you very much shocking is the girl
in the miniskirt she showing a leg the
girl in a miniskirt says excuse me
I’m not shocking at least I’ve covered
myself till here shocking the girl in
the bikini the girl in the bikini turns
around says excuse me I have covered my
private parts I’m not shocking truth him
a baby street naked on the beach she’s
shocking she too didn’t weigh anything
at all and my mom says and so darling
it’s come right back to me what do I
think is shocking I think that woman in
the fundamentalist regime who cannot
show a bit of a risk to have me flogged
for it I think that is shocking she says
everything comes a full circle and
constantly in life we’re living in
judgment of other people and pointing
fingers and pointing fingers and
pointing fingers and all you’re doing is
going round and round and round in
circles trying to please people
constructing yourself deconstructing
yourself trying to fit in and it’s never
good enough because everybody’s got a
finger to point so what do you do you
move forward you do your thing if you’re
not breaking the lower hurting anybody
you just go out there and do your thing
when I was in my teenage years when I
was in my teenage years I was the wild
rebel child as for societal standards
because I will miniskirt and bikinis and
because I was drinking alcohol and I had
boyfriends and I had no deadlines at
night and all these mothers would
caution their daughters about
spending too much time with me notes
rabbits karana to talk to the other
girls who are more conventional etc etc
today I have an award-winning column in
the leading newspaper of this country I
have these incredible workshops I
represent the strong emancipated woman
of this country today and I have all
these women coming up to me all walks of
life coming up to me and saying I want
my daughter to be just like you and I
laugh because I’m still that same person
I still wear my miniskirts and bikinis
and I still drink and I still don’t have
deadlines I’m the same person society
changes the acceptance changes what you
do suddenly appeals to them they negate
everything else you just continue
forward and do your own thing just go
out there and do what you believe in and
carry on undeterred because at some
point you would be loved and adored for
simply being who you are because you had
such conviction in being yourself when
you start deep programming when you
start breaking these boundaries when you
start challenging things you turn around
and say if I can do it for myself I need
to make my environment around me
conducive to that – it’ll enable my
process so what you do is simultaneously
you start helping other people
I remember my cousin’s sister came home
crying one day because she had a really
dark complexion born to a south indian
father and she said she came to my mom
and she said you know everyone teases me
so much in school all the time and they
make fun of my complexion and call me
Blacky and all kinds of things that she
was really really crying they’re young
and of course relatives were sitting
around and everybody had an opinion some
of them said oh just ignore it it
doesn’t matter there’s nothing you can
do about it somebody said use bleach you
know they’re all these solutions coming
up and my mom just looked at her and
said my darling she said do you realize
that if there’s a white spot and a
person’s skin is called a disease and if
there’s a black spot on someone’s face
is called a beauty spot it’s just a
question of perspective but that changed
so much for my cousin’s sister from that
day onwards anyone who came up to her
and made an unkind comment about the
color of her skin
she just shot that quote back to them
and walked out with her attitude and a
head held high because she felt so
goddamn good about it that’s the power
of a quote that’s the best the power of
a single perspective that just changes
and everything changes in your life just
based on that moment when you talk about
quantum physics versus Newtonian physics
Newtonian physics says you’re matter
quantum physics says if you break down
that matter down to molecules and
electrons and protons and neutrons and
you open that up all you see are energy
waves so you are nothing but
encapsulated energy waves vibrating and
the common thing is what you vibrate at
is what you attract what you vibrate at
is what you attract and it’s true
because when your frequency matches a
certain frequency that’s all you keep
bringing into your life and you have to
constantly go out there and vibrate with
the frequency you want to vibrate at to
enable and attract the future that you
all want for yourselves you can at this
moment today sit down and say I am a
product of my past my fear programming
my social economic experiences my
religious programming has taught me to
be scared to be frightened not to speak
up not to do this not to do that the
knots are so plenty in all these
programming’s you can turn around and
say I am a product of my past or you can
turn around and say I want to be this
person in the future and you visualize
what you want for your future you
visualize exactly down to the last
detail
the life the perfect life that you
visualize for yourself thirty years down
the line 40 years down the line this is
who I want to be and where I want to be
at and every action you take today every
single thought every single action that
you take today is because of the future
and not because of the past you can
operate from your past or you can
operate from your future you can be a
victim if you choose to call it off your
past or you can enable that change by
simply wanting to be that person
to see yourself being in the future when
each of you goes back home today I urge
you to look closely at the programs that
are limiting you deconstruct yourself
what other don’ts worse is the dues what
are your fears what are your limitations
there are so many modalities out there
from hypnosis to NLP and various
modalities out there to help you
deprogram yourself use them go out there
everybody and be the most empowered
version of yourself
simply because you can thank you
[Applause]
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