dear Jocelyn if you were to ask me to
close my eyes and think of the most
precious moments of my childhood they
would be of you and I Platon together do
you remember when we used to play
hide-and-go-seek
and you had me look for you for hours
and I could not find you for the life of
me it was ridiculous like I just said
you know what I give up so I went to the
fridge my fat ass and I got some food
and when I opened the fridge to my
surprise there you were you were in
there with icicles in your hair oh my
god
we were so stupid one of my most fondest
memories of you when you weren’t dying
of hypothermia it was when we would play
house together
and in our home we would make it out of
blankets and pillows and we would
pretend to be parents together even
though you’re like my niece and we would
go on all these crazy adventures like
one second we’d have superpowers and
saving the world and the next would be
like international pop stars and you’d
be my backup dancer of course or
something like that but and our we could
do anything and we could be anything
that we wanted to be and our perfect
imaginary world nothing could hurt us
but Jocelyn the reality is that I am now
a survivor of sexual violence when we
are growing up we learn about stranger
danger we learn not to take candy from
strangers in white bands we learned not
to open our doors to strangers like when
we are children and you hear someone
knocking on your door bell and you peek
around the corner real quick and then
you hide but in all actuality it’s just
the UPS man he’s just trying to bolt the
hell out of there
and you look stupid hiding underneath
the coffee table but what they don’t
tell you is that when sexual violence
happens it’s usually with someone that
you know someone that you trust what
they don’t tell you is that sometimes
your own sexual abuser can live
underneath the same roof as you the
first time I was molested by my father
yes my father I was only five years old
he tucked me in climbed in the same bed
as me laid next to me and told me it was
a game and I used to love games he told
me it was our lost secret and if I told
anyone I would be taken away and our
family would lose our home as a child of
immigrants I was taught to put family
first I was taught that my parents
sacrificed so much for me to be in
America and this was an opportunity that
should not be wasted and I was gonna be
just like my parents I was going to
sacrifice so I thought I could sacrifice
my body and odorous abuse to keep my
family together I was scared
I was so scared of being alone now I’m
more naive me a more innocent young me
thought that compromise was the same
thing as love it’s not as I grew older
and started growing into myself come up
look at me glowing up
I started coming through my identity as
a gay man now and any queer child’s life
or any child’s life for that matter
there comes a time where we not only
have to be honest with ourselves but the
people who we surround ourselves with
and in most cases that’s our parents and
in the ideal game of house the parents
would be openly accepting and welcome
their child for their bravery with open
arms but this is reality when I came out
to my parents like there and to kick me
out I was lost I didn’t know what to do
and my family went support me man who
would so I decided to do what any good
Hopkins student would do and I went to
school and the last period of the day
and was taught by a teacher
coincidentally who was involved with
LGBTQ stuff on my high school and so you
know I never pay attention in class if
you know me but you know Ashley’s
Ashley’s talking to me she’s using her
voice and I’m hearing a different voice
and it’s telling me talk to her tell her
what happened you have nothing to lose
she can help you and so once everybody
started trickling out the class one by
one to go home I decided to stay after I
was going to talk to her so I got about
on my seat and my heart was pounding I
could hear it in my ears
and my breasts became more rapid I took
a step towards her know if each step I
took a step out of my comfort zone and I
came out to her no I don’t know what I
expected but I do know what she told me
changed my life I will never forget it
she told me Jojo you are so strong and
you were so brave for coming out and by
coming out you’re paving the way for
people like you and most importantly she
told me about she believed in me
and for the first time in my life feel
that someone believed in me it gave me
so much courage it’s undescribable so
much courage and then everything
everything came out all the abuse all of
the neglect every dark little secret
imaginable
I wish and so the next second I know I
am running home because I know but my
teacher is a mandated reporter she has
to report oh this is what happened to me
you know I can’t back out now I have to
tell my family I have to come out to
them and for the second time I came out
to them as a survivor when I got home we
had a family meeting and we sat down our
dining room table and everyone was in
attendance including my father and the
the air was so tense I couldn’t breathe
the same table where we have shared so
many memories our dining room table we
had laughed together I had become a
court and my family the jurors I was
made to prove myself and if I failed the
sentence death for the next two hours
the longest two hours of my life
I was crucified I was the messenger of
it had to be shot everything became a
blur they yelled at me and they screamed
at me and said all of these terrible
things but the only person who stood by
me was you Jocelyn and I can never repay
you my family told me that I should kill
myself and that they didn’t love me
and that I had made this up because I’m
a liar and I’m crazy I am NOT crazy at
the end of a meeting my family gave me
an ultimatum they told me that I could
tell the truth to a child services
worker which would cause my father to be
jailed my siblings opponent be put into
foster care our family to lose the house
and me to be kicked to the curb or or I
could tell them it was a lie and just
like in the imaginary game of house this
was all fictional I had made this all up
everything could go back to normal my
normal so I lied my own family silenced
me and in that moment when my voice was
taken away I realized that I had to
fight no one can speak for you only you
can speak for you and when you are in
situations where your voice can’t be
heard you need to get out you need to
leave so that’s what I decided to I was
going to run away so I focused on my
studies and I focused on my academics
every night and every day I put in the
work and I got a full ride merit-based
scholarship to Hopkins
I did it I was here that was me I was
one step closer to achieving that game
of house that I couldn’t be anything and
I could do anything I wanted to do but
Jocelyn leaving you was the hardest
thing that I’ve ever had to do because
while I may have escaped the realities
of her home I realized that there was no
escape my freshman year I got to choose
my freshman roommate he was just like me
he was extroverted and outgoing and fun
and so much fun to be around he was a
queer person of color he was just like
me he was my community but two weeks two
weeks after I decided to run away after
I decided to start brand new I would
find that he was sexually assaulting and
abusing people in our dorm my friends my
neighbors my housemates and I knew what
I had to do I had been here before I
wasn’t going to be silent this time so I
decided to be the change that I needed
as a child I spoke up for my housemates
because I didn’t want them to suffer in
silence as I had for so many years I
reported him none of us can run away
from our problems because if we do bad
things will continue to happen to good
people I realized this so I decided to
be the change that I needed to see I
just wanted to help people so I got
involved clubs on campus like LGBTQ play
discussion about race and social
identity I became a resident advisor
literally fostering a community
and now I know that my ideal life for my
life may not be an ideal version of
house but I know now but I have a home I
have a home and there are people who
care for me
and there are people who loved me the
people who I surround myself they love
me you see running away did not fix
anything they didn’t change anything
there was no growth running away only
causes us to run away from ourselves
when you run away you become so scared
of letting anyone or anything in it
becomes harder to return home and I
don’t need to run anymore because I am
home
and with the support of the people at
Hopkins my new family I was able to
report my father however in doing so I
was kicked out of my house for so long I
was so scared of being alone but I know
now that I am NOT alone you see because
I am one in six boys and one in four
girls who be sexually abused before the
age of 18 and I am one in three of those
who will find the courage to speak out I
am NOT alone because there are people
who care for me who love me and who will
listen to me I have come home now when I
tell people my story that’s my friends
they are shocked you know they’re like
Jojo why are you so strong why so brave
why so beautiful how how are you able to
move forward and I tell them that every
day every day I practice forgiveness
because you see the people who have
heard us have taken something from us
that we will never get back our time and
by not moving forward they will only
continue to win do not let them win is
not worth it forgive for yourself
forgiveness is the greatest gift you can
ever give to yourself because
forgiveness not only allows closure but
it allows healing and most importantly
it allows you to live and tell the tale
now whether you know someone who has
been through something similar as I have
or you are going through something
similar or you know someone who was
hurting you
have the power each and every single one
of you have the power to be
and advocate for others but most
importantly advocate for yourself me
right here speaking to all of you this
is me breaking my silence after 20 years
and I’m encouraging you all to do the
same now I know I know it better than
anyone this will not be easy and I’m so
sorry but it won’t but bad things will
continue to happen to good people if we
don’t speak up don’t just do it for
yourself do it for your friends do it
for your brother your sister your mother
your father for everyone because I’m
doing so you might save a life and in
doing so you might encourage someone
else to speak out you might encourage
someone else to speak out who might
encourage another and another and
another and you get the message speak up
and speak out because your voice has
more power and you have yet to realize
dare Jocelyn we are not children anymore
and maybe we’ve outgrown the game of
house and hiding in refrigerators but
let me tell you something when I went
off to college I found out I do indeed
have a power we all do but yet some of
us have yet to use it you see the ideal
life that we used to pretend we have
it’s not external it’s not materialistic
it’s internal it’s inside of you
it’s your happiness and now there will
be situations where people will hurt you
and there will be situations where the
outcomes look bleak but you each and
every single one of you listening to me
right now you have a power and you have
a power to make the decision to allow
people to claim your voice for you or
for you to claim it for yourself and I
choose to claim my voice I choose
happiness I choose life and now I’m
breaking free of my past and I’m only
taking steps forward and I hope that
each and every single one of you will
join me in this everlasting movement
with love Joe Joe thank you
[Applause]
close my eyes and think of the most
precious moments of my childhood they
would be of you and I Platon together do
you remember when we used to play
hide-and-go-seek
and you had me look for you for hours
and I could not find you for the life of
me it was ridiculous like I just said
you know what I give up so I went to the
fridge my fat ass and I got some food
and when I opened the fridge to my
surprise there you were you were in
there with icicles in your hair oh my
god
we were so stupid one of my most fondest
memories of you when you weren’t dying
of hypothermia it was when we would play
house together
and in our home we would make it out of
blankets and pillows and we would
pretend to be parents together even
though you’re like my niece and we would
go on all these crazy adventures like
one second we’d have superpowers and
saving the world and the next would be
like international pop stars and you’d
be my backup dancer of course or
something like that but and our we could
do anything and we could be anything
that we wanted to be and our perfect
imaginary world nothing could hurt us
but Jocelyn the reality is that I am now
a survivor of sexual violence when we
are growing up we learn about stranger
danger we learn not to take candy from
strangers in white bands we learned not
to open our doors to strangers like when
we are children and you hear someone
knocking on your door bell and you peek
around the corner real quick and then
you hide but in all actuality it’s just
the UPS man he’s just trying to bolt the
hell out of there
and you look stupid hiding underneath
the coffee table but what they don’t
tell you is that when sexual violence
happens it’s usually with someone that
you know someone that you trust what
they don’t tell you is that sometimes
your own sexual abuser can live
underneath the same roof as you the
first time I was molested by my father
yes my father I was only five years old
he tucked me in climbed in the same bed
as me laid next to me and told me it was
a game and I used to love games he told
me it was our lost secret and if I told
anyone I would be taken away and our
family would lose our home as a child of
immigrants I was taught to put family
first I was taught that my parents
sacrificed so much for me to be in
America and this was an opportunity that
should not be wasted and I was gonna be
just like my parents I was going to
sacrifice so I thought I could sacrifice
my body and odorous abuse to keep my
family together I was scared
I was so scared of being alone now I’m
more naive me a more innocent young me
thought that compromise was the same
thing as love it’s not as I grew older
and started growing into myself come up
look at me glowing up
I started coming through my identity as
a gay man now and any queer child’s life
or any child’s life for that matter
there comes a time where we not only
have to be honest with ourselves but the
people who we surround ourselves with
and in most cases that’s our parents and
in the ideal game of house the parents
would be openly accepting and welcome
their child for their bravery with open
arms but this is reality when I came out
to my parents like there and to kick me
out I was lost I didn’t know what to do
and my family went support me man who
would so I decided to do what any good
Hopkins student would do and I went to
school and the last period of the day
and was taught by a teacher
coincidentally who was involved with
LGBTQ stuff on my high school and so you
know I never pay attention in class if
you know me but you know Ashley’s
Ashley’s talking to me she’s using her
voice and I’m hearing a different voice
and it’s telling me talk to her tell her
what happened you have nothing to lose
she can help you and so once everybody
started trickling out the class one by
one to go home I decided to stay after I
was going to talk to her so I got about
on my seat and my heart was pounding I
could hear it in my ears
and my breasts became more rapid I took
a step towards her know if each step I
took a step out of my comfort zone and I
came out to her no I don’t know what I
expected but I do know what she told me
changed my life I will never forget it
she told me Jojo you are so strong and
you were so brave for coming out and by
coming out you’re paving the way for
people like you and most importantly she
told me about she believed in me
and for the first time in my life feel
that someone believed in me it gave me
so much courage it’s undescribable so
much courage and then everything
everything came out all the abuse all of
the neglect every dark little secret
imaginable
I wish and so the next second I know I
am running home because I know but my
teacher is a mandated reporter she has
to report oh this is what happened to me
you know I can’t back out now I have to
tell my family I have to come out to
them and for the second time I came out
to them as a survivor when I got home we
had a family meeting and we sat down our
dining room table and everyone was in
attendance including my father and the
the air was so tense I couldn’t breathe
the same table where we have shared so
many memories our dining room table we
had laughed together I had become a
court and my family the jurors I was
made to prove myself and if I failed the
sentence death for the next two hours
the longest two hours of my life
I was crucified I was the messenger of
it had to be shot everything became a
blur they yelled at me and they screamed
at me and said all of these terrible
things but the only person who stood by
me was you Jocelyn and I can never repay
you my family told me that I should kill
myself and that they didn’t love me
and that I had made this up because I’m
a liar and I’m crazy I am NOT crazy at
the end of a meeting my family gave me
an ultimatum they told me that I could
tell the truth to a child services
worker which would cause my father to be
jailed my siblings opponent be put into
foster care our family to lose the house
and me to be kicked to the curb or or I
could tell them it was a lie and just
like in the imaginary game of house this
was all fictional I had made this all up
everything could go back to normal my
normal so I lied my own family silenced
me and in that moment when my voice was
taken away I realized that I had to
fight no one can speak for you only you
can speak for you and when you are in
situations where your voice can’t be
heard you need to get out you need to
leave so that’s what I decided to I was
going to run away so I focused on my
studies and I focused on my academics
every night and every day I put in the
work and I got a full ride merit-based
scholarship to Hopkins
I did it I was here that was me I was
one step closer to achieving that game
of house that I couldn’t be anything and
I could do anything I wanted to do but
Jocelyn leaving you was the hardest
thing that I’ve ever had to do because
while I may have escaped the realities
of her home I realized that there was no
escape my freshman year I got to choose
my freshman roommate he was just like me
he was extroverted and outgoing and fun
and so much fun to be around he was a
queer person of color he was just like
me he was my community but two weeks two
weeks after I decided to run away after
I decided to start brand new I would
find that he was sexually assaulting and
abusing people in our dorm my friends my
neighbors my housemates and I knew what
I had to do I had been here before I
wasn’t going to be silent this time so I
decided to be the change that I needed
as a child I spoke up for my housemates
because I didn’t want them to suffer in
silence as I had for so many years I
reported him none of us can run away
from our problems because if we do bad
things will continue to happen to good
people I realized this so I decided to
be the change that I needed to see I
just wanted to help people so I got
involved clubs on campus like LGBTQ play
discussion about race and social
identity I became a resident advisor
literally fostering a community
and now I know that my ideal life for my
life may not be an ideal version of
house but I know now but I have a home I
have a home and there are people who
care for me
and there are people who loved me the
people who I surround myself they love
me you see running away did not fix
anything they didn’t change anything
there was no growth running away only
causes us to run away from ourselves
when you run away you become so scared
of letting anyone or anything in it
becomes harder to return home and I
don’t need to run anymore because I am
home
and with the support of the people at
Hopkins my new family I was able to
report my father however in doing so I
was kicked out of my house for so long I
was so scared of being alone but I know
now that I am NOT alone you see because
I am one in six boys and one in four
girls who be sexually abused before the
age of 18 and I am one in three of those
who will find the courage to speak out I
am NOT alone because there are people
who care for me who love me and who will
listen to me I have come home now when I
tell people my story that’s my friends
they are shocked you know they’re like
Jojo why are you so strong why so brave
why so beautiful how how are you able to
move forward and I tell them that every
day every day I practice forgiveness
because you see the people who have
heard us have taken something from us
that we will never get back our time and
by not moving forward they will only
continue to win do not let them win is
not worth it forgive for yourself
forgiveness is the greatest gift you can
ever give to yourself because
forgiveness not only allows closure but
it allows healing and most importantly
it allows you to live and tell the tale
now whether you know someone who has
been through something similar as I have
or you are going through something
similar or you know someone who was
hurting you
have the power each and every single one
of you have the power to be
and advocate for others but most
importantly advocate for yourself me
right here speaking to all of you this
is me breaking my silence after 20 years
and I’m encouraging you all to do the
same now I know I know it better than
anyone this will not be easy and I’m so
sorry but it won’t but bad things will
continue to happen to good people if we
don’t speak up don’t just do it for
yourself do it for your friends do it
for your brother your sister your mother
your father for everyone because I’m
doing so you might save a life and in
doing so you might encourage someone
else to speak out you might encourage
someone else to speak out who might
encourage another and another and
another and you get the message speak up
and speak out because your voice has
more power and you have yet to realize
dare Jocelyn we are not children anymore
and maybe we’ve outgrown the game of
house and hiding in refrigerators but
let me tell you something when I went
off to college I found out I do indeed
have a power we all do but yet some of
us have yet to use it you see the ideal
life that we used to pretend we have
it’s not external it’s not materialistic
it’s internal it’s inside of you
it’s your happiness and now there will
be situations where people will hurt you
and there will be situations where the
outcomes look bleak but you each and
every single one of you listening to me
right now you have a power and you have
a power to make the decision to allow
people to claim your voice for you or
for you to claim it for yourself and I
choose to claim my voice I choose
happiness I choose life and now I’m
breaking free of my past and I’m only
taking steps forward and I hope that
each and every single one of you will
join me in this everlasting movement
with love Joe Joe thank you
[Applause]
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