when I first mentioned the Pangolin to
people the question I always get is do
you mean penguin no I do not and that’s
precisely the problem the penguin is the
most traffic animal in the world and
it’s said to go extinct before anyone
even realize it existed why because of
our conception of cuteness now when I
first said penguin you might have
thought oh it’s an exotic island or some
sort of instrument both reasonable
guesses based on lack of context but
what the penguin really is is the
species of the order fully DOTA well
actually there are eight species of
penguins but I’ll just talk about them
as though there are one for simplicity
sake so they are of the order full of
dota but I’m sure that snippet of
information doesn’t give you much better
insight into what they actually are so
I’ll describe them in the way I think of
them as a mix between the theater and
the armadillo or as a New York Times
said they drop a comparison between the
artichoke and the pinecone this is the
penguin the penguins are brown and scaly
their scales are actually made out of
keratin the same thing in our hair and
nails and it is a widely circulated myth
in Asia that their meat nourishes the
kidneys and provides healing benefits
although these have been disproven
penguin products are still on the market
and Pangolin poachers are still on the
hunt for penguins but it’s not just the
penguin poachers and consumers of the
products that are in the wrong because
if you’re not part of the solution
you’re part of the problem
that’s how endangered the Penguins are
it was Konrad Lorenz who first came up
with the idea of baby schema or kingdom
schema the idea that there is a certain
set of characteristics like chubby
cheeks big eyes button nose baby
features that make a caregiver want to
interact and show affection to a child
and it’s not just babies humans have
been breeding PETA morphic character
traits into dogs for centuries giving
them traits that make them appear
younger like a white head big eyes small
nose puppy features and injuries proven
that dogs with these pedo morphic
features have higher adoption rates than
shelter dogs without them it is also
thought that when interacting with
beings people find cue
there’s a quantity of dopamine that’s
released into the brain causing a
heightened sense of euphoria or
temporary happiness so if people get
happy when they’re with puppies and
babies and the things they find cute
they have an incentive to be with them
but if they don’t find the pangolins
cute what’s their incentive to engage
with them well the pangolins may not
check the conventional key box they have
small black beady eyes they’re low to
the ground they have weirdly long nails
they don’t have the valence of a
mountain lion or the viral cuteness of a
roly poly panda but I think they’re cute
they curl up in a ball when threatened
they carry their babies on their back
they look like they have a pressing
question but they’re too shy to ask it
and I suppose if you don’t think they’re
cute at this point I can’t fill the deep
and pretentious space where your heart
should be I mean I hope that you can
change your conception of cuteness to
embrace those that really need your help
not just those that will give you the
most self-satisfaction this is the
penguin thank you
[Applause]
people the question I always get is do
you mean penguin no I do not and that’s
precisely the problem the penguin is the
most traffic animal in the world and
it’s said to go extinct before anyone
even realize it existed why because of
our conception of cuteness now when I
first said penguin you might have
thought oh it’s an exotic island or some
sort of instrument both reasonable
guesses based on lack of context but
what the penguin really is is the
species of the order fully DOTA well
actually there are eight species of
penguins but I’ll just talk about them
as though there are one for simplicity
sake so they are of the order full of
dota but I’m sure that snippet of
information doesn’t give you much better
insight into what they actually are so
I’ll describe them in the way I think of
them as a mix between the theater and
the armadillo or as a New York Times
said they drop a comparison between the
artichoke and the pinecone this is the
penguin the penguins are brown and scaly
their scales are actually made out of
keratin the same thing in our hair and
nails and it is a widely circulated myth
in Asia that their meat nourishes the
kidneys and provides healing benefits
although these have been disproven
penguin products are still on the market
and Pangolin poachers are still on the
hunt for penguins but it’s not just the
penguin poachers and consumers of the
products that are in the wrong because
if you’re not part of the solution
you’re part of the problem
that’s how endangered the Penguins are
it was Konrad Lorenz who first came up
with the idea of baby schema or kingdom
schema the idea that there is a certain
set of characteristics like chubby
cheeks big eyes button nose baby
features that make a caregiver want to
interact and show affection to a child
and it’s not just babies humans have
been breeding PETA morphic character
traits into dogs for centuries giving
them traits that make them appear
younger like a white head big eyes small
nose puppy features and injuries proven
that dogs with these pedo morphic
features have higher adoption rates than
shelter dogs without them it is also
thought that when interacting with
beings people find cue
there’s a quantity of dopamine that’s
released into the brain causing a
heightened sense of euphoria or
temporary happiness so if people get
happy when they’re with puppies and
babies and the things they find cute
they have an incentive to be with them
but if they don’t find the pangolins
cute what’s their incentive to engage
with them well the pangolins may not
check the conventional key box they have
small black beady eyes they’re low to
the ground they have weirdly long nails
they don’t have the valence of a
mountain lion or the viral cuteness of a
roly poly panda but I think they’re cute
they curl up in a ball when threatened
they carry their babies on their back
they look like they have a pressing
question but they’re too shy to ask it
and I suppose if you don’t think they’re
cute at this point I can’t fill the deep
and pretentious space where your heart
should be I mean I hope that you can
change your conception of cuteness to
embrace those that really need your help
not just those that will give you the
most self-satisfaction this is the
penguin thank you
[Applause]
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