I love Los Angeles I just truly do it’s
an amazing city and it’s the place where
dreams come true but often times we
don’t really talk about all of the
rejection that it takes to achieve those
dreams I’ve had the opportunity to work
as a casting director and the talent
agent and in doing so I had to tell
actors know over and over again
delivering rejection on a daily basis
and having those positions I gained a
better understanding for the word know a
new perspective it’s often said that if
you keep hearing no over and over again
that eventually your yes will come but I
like to believe that that concept is
always true it isn’t the fact is
sometimes your guess will never come
until you create it so how do we do that
how do you create your own yes when you
keep hearing no there’s a lot of
different ways to do it but I’m going to
talk to you about three principles that
have really worked well for me
the first is paying attention to your
environment your environment might be
the people that you know the places that
you go the content that you consume or
even the physical roads that you travel
on day to day here in Los Angeles we
have the luxury of accessing the 405
freeway which is the most congested
freeway in the United States on any
given day there are over 400,000 cars
traveling on the 405 I remember one day
I was on the 405 and to my right it was
sort of like motion guiding my intention
to look and I did and I said oh my
goodness
that’s my college friend Arthur
that’s strange and he motioned me to get
off on the negs exit and so I did we
exchanged contact information and as
always driving away I was thinking to
myself that is so strange like what are
the odds you would actually see someone
you know in the 405 it wasn’t as if we
had attended the same event and then
left at the same time and then happened
to be driving into the valley that
wasn’t the case he had just moved to Los
Angeles and I had only been there a
short couple of months believe it or not
we started hanging out a lot since that
point that we saw each other and Arthur
and I had been married for 14 years
creating your own yes is about living
the life that you want to live it’s
about creating the experiences and
putting the people in life that you want
to live your life with equally as
important as the people that we’ll meet
is also the content that we consume I
was reading an article in The Hollywood
Reporter and it was an article about
Tyler Perry the filmmaker producer and
they were talking about the success that
he had with one of his feature films and
the president of Lionsgate was quoted
saying that they were looking for more
material just like it well at the time I
had a screenplay of Hollywood Kaos that
I had been pushing around town no one
either wanted to read it or they read it
and told me no over and over again even
literary agents and managers told me no
so I decided to send the president of
Lionsgate and email and to my surprise
he responded and he cc’d several of his
executives on his team and in a few
short days they read my script
now they passed but they took a meeting
with me and got to know more about me as
a producer and filmmaker and what I
wanted to do here
our connections are so important they
can help to propel your life forward and
another really important thing about
creating your own yes is basically using
all of the nose that you’re receiving
and figuring out a way to create a yes
so all of the information that you’re
getting when you receive a know and
formulating your own yes I’ve been
rejected so much in my lifetime even
when it comes to childbirth with my
first son I had a cesarean a c-section
and with my second child I really wanted
to have a VBAC which is a vaginal birth
after having a c-section I talked to my
doctor about it we agreed that this was
the plan and this was the birth I was
going to have on the day that my
daughter was due my doctor said to me
that I was no longer going to be able to
have a VBAC and she gave me some pretty
ridiculous reasons but one was very
valid she said to me that the hospital
where I wanted to deliver no longer did
be backs and I didn’t believe her so I
called the hospital and they validated
her and I was shocked I was devastated
and I was very pregnant so what did I do
I called ten more hospitals and do you
know what they told me no no no no no
I’m sorry ma’am no it’s too much of a
risk no no no no so on that 11th phone
call I used all of the information that
I had gathered from the nose all of the
reasons why they told me now
I explained to the doctor listen I know
all of the reasons why not let me
explain to you why yes and he listened
to me he heard me out he invited me into
his office and he examined me he
reviewed my medical records and he
decided that I was the perfect candidate
to have a VBAC he promised me that we
would have one and I did with my second
child and again
with my third child and when I was in
the hospital room with my third child a
pregnant nurse came into the hospital
room and she said I heard that you had a
VBAC I said yes I did
she said I really wanted to have one but
my doctor told me no and I said well ten
hospitals told me no – but here’s my
doctor’s card and that’s the third
principle when it comes to creating your
own yes is being a part of someone
else’s yes helping someone else achieve
their dreams and their accomplishment
when you think about it creating is
about collaborating no one achieves
anything or creates anything alone no
one now if you’re one of those people
that has not been rejected a lot in your
lifetime right or you haven’t been told
no a whole lot you need to dive into
life a little bit more because rejection
is really a good thing the craziest
thing that I’ve ever done is to dive
into a McDonald’s dumpster after they
were clothes piled high in trash and let
me tell you why you know that aboard the
Monopoly game that they have right the
monopoly pieces well I had the park
place piece
at home okay and I was in the McDonald’s
and I got the boardwalk piece and I
showed it to one of my colleagues and
I’m like oh my gosh I think I just won
my billion dollars because I had the
park based piece at home and he was like
no that’s not possible
I was like II I don’t think it’s
possible either maybe I’m maybe I’m
maybe I have it mixed up you know maybe
I actually have this piece already so I
threw it away
so I got home and realized that I did
indeed have Park Place so I had just
thrown away the winning piece so what
did I do
I called it Matthew hay and said I’ll
split the money with you if you agree to
go with me into the dumpster he said
sure so Matthew and I went to the
McDonald’s after they were closed and
dived in it was disgusting
as I’m sure you can imagine we dug for
four hours and then all of a sudden the
police came
and they flash the lights and came over
and said what are you doing I explained
the situation and he said keep on
digging sadly I did not find the piece I
know I know but I learned something very
important about myself I learned that
not only was I willing to get my hands
dirty but my feet dirty
and my hair and when a black woman is
willing to get her hair dirty trust me
that’s a big deal what I learned is that
I was willing to dive in for what I
wanted willing to go after what I wanted
in life like many of you so the next
time that you hear no don’t let it be a
permanent setback in your life and when
you keep on hearing no over and over
again create your own yes thank you
[Applause]
you
an amazing city and it’s the place where
dreams come true but often times we
don’t really talk about all of the
rejection that it takes to achieve those
dreams I’ve had the opportunity to work
as a casting director and the talent
agent and in doing so I had to tell
actors know over and over again
delivering rejection on a daily basis
and having those positions I gained a
better understanding for the word know a
new perspective it’s often said that if
you keep hearing no over and over again
that eventually your yes will come but I
like to believe that that concept is
always true it isn’t the fact is
sometimes your guess will never come
until you create it so how do we do that
how do you create your own yes when you
keep hearing no there’s a lot of
different ways to do it but I’m going to
talk to you about three principles that
have really worked well for me
the first is paying attention to your
environment your environment might be
the people that you know the places that
you go the content that you consume or
even the physical roads that you travel
on day to day here in Los Angeles we
have the luxury of accessing the 405
freeway which is the most congested
freeway in the United States on any
given day there are over 400,000 cars
traveling on the 405 I remember one day
I was on the 405 and to my right it was
sort of like motion guiding my intention
to look and I did and I said oh my
goodness
that’s my college friend Arthur
that’s strange and he motioned me to get
off on the negs exit and so I did we
exchanged contact information and as
always driving away I was thinking to
myself that is so strange like what are
the odds you would actually see someone
you know in the 405 it wasn’t as if we
had attended the same event and then
left at the same time and then happened
to be driving into the valley that
wasn’t the case he had just moved to Los
Angeles and I had only been there a
short couple of months believe it or not
we started hanging out a lot since that
point that we saw each other and Arthur
and I had been married for 14 years
creating your own yes is about living
the life that you want to live it’s
about creating the experiences and
putting the people in life that you want
to live your life with equally as
important as the people that we’ll meet
is also the content that we consume I
was reading an article in The Hollywood
Reporter and it was an article about
Tyler Perry the filmmaker producer and
they were talking about the success that
he had with one of his feature films and
the president of Lionsgate was quoted
saying that they were looking for more
material just like it well at the time I
had a screenplay of Hollywood Kaos that
I had been pushing around town no one
either wanted to read it or they read it
and told me no over and over again even
literary agents and managers told me no
so I decided to send the president of
Lionsgate and email and to my surprise
he responded and he cc’d several of his
executives on his team and in a few
short days they read my script
now they passed but they took a meeting
with me and got to know more about me as
a producer and filmmaker and what I
wanted to do here
our connections are so important they
can help to propel your life forward and
another really important thing about
creating your own yes is basically using
all of the nose that you’re receiving
and figuring out a way to create a yes
so all of the information that you’re
getting when you receive a know and
formulating your own yes I’ve been
rejected so much in my lifetime even
when it comes to childbirth with my
first son I had a cesarean a c-section
and with my second child I really wanted
to have a VBAC which is a vaginal birth
after having a c-section I talked to my
doctor about it we agreed that this was
the plan and this was the birth I was
going to have on the day that my
daughter was due my doctor said to me
that I was no longer going to be able to
have a VBAC and she gave me some pretty
ridiculous reasons but one was very
valid she said to me that the hospital
where I wanted to deliver no longer did
be backs and I didn’t believe her so I
called the hospital and they validated
her and I was shocked I was devastated
and I was very pregnant so what did I do
I called ten more hospitals and do you
know what they told me no no no no no
I’m sorry ma’am no it’s too much of a
risk no no no no so on that 11th phone
call I used all of the information that
I had gathered from the nose all of the
reasons why they told me now
I explained to the doctor listen I know
all of the reasons why not let me
explain to you why yes and he listened
to me he heard me out he invited me into
his office and he examined me he
reviewed my medical records and he
decided that I was the perfect candidate
to have a VBAC he promised me that we
would have one and I did with my second
child and again
with my third child and when I was in
the hospital room with my third child a
pregnant nurse came into the hospital
room and she said I heard that you had a
VBAC I said yes I did
she said I really wanted to have one but
my doctor told me no and I said well ten
hospitals told me no – but here’s my
doctor’s card and that’s the third
principle when it comes to creating your
own yes is being a part of someone
else’s yes helping someone else achieve
their dreams and their accomplishment
when you think about it creating is
about collaborating no one achieves
anything or creates anything alone no
one now if you’re one of those people
that has not been rejected a lot in your
lifetime right or you haven’t been told
no a whole lot you need to dive into
life a little bit more because rejection
is really a good thing the craziest
thing that I’ve ever done is to dive
into a McDonald’s dumpster after they
were clothes piled high in trash and let
me tell you why you know that aboard the
Monopoly game that they have right the
monopoly pieces well I had the park
place piece
at home okay and I was in the McDonald’s
and I got the boardwalk piece and I
showed it to one of my colleagues and
I’m like oh my gosh I think I just won
my billion dollars because I had the
park based piece at home and he was like
no that’s not possible
I was like II I don’t think it’s
possible either maybe I’m maybe I’m
maybe I have it mixed up you know maybe
I actually have this piece already so I
threw it away
so I got home and realized that I did
indeed have Park Place so I had just
thrown away the winning piece so what
did I do
I called it Matthew hay and said I’ll
split the money with you if you agree to
go with me into the dumpster he said
sure so Matthew and I went to the
McDonald’s after they were closed and
dived in it was disgusting
as I’m sure you can imagine we dug for
four hours and then all of a sudden the
police came
and they flash the lights and came over
and said what are you doing I explained
the situation and he said keep on
digging sadly I did not find the piece I
know I know but I learned something very
important about myself I learned that
not only was I willing to get my hands
dirty but my feet dirty
and my hair and when a black woman is
willing to get her hair dirty trust me
that’s a big deal what I learned is that
I was willing to dive in for what I
wanted willing to go after what I wanted
in life like many of you so the next
time that you hear no don’t let it be a
permanent setback in your life and when
you keep on hearing no over and over
again create your own yes thank you
[Applause]
you
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