this is my childhood home in Louisville
Iowa with a population of about 700
people I’m not surprised that none of
you know where that is
but regardless I’d like you to think
about where you lived when you were 16
you’re about halfway done with high
school probably learning to drive by
yourself for the first time and unless
you’re the captain of the football team
you’re probably not at the peak of your
existence I myself was not having a good
time and could be described with one
word scared I was scared of failing for
getting anything less than an A or being
made fun of for being different than my
classmates or not get it having the
perfect amount of volunteer
opportunities and being rejected by my
dream school I was cautious I was
careful I was filled with fear but at
the same age I was asked to face it I
became one of the first students at a
new project-based high school called
Iowa big at this school students are
asked to pick a project that is
meaningful to both them and their
community now being a part of something
like this was far out of my comfort zone
and it kind of scared me but after my
first day at this new school I learned
something really important that I could
be someone who faced and overcame fear
so for the next years of high school
that’s just what I got to do I faced
fears of upsetting people at my old
school of not successfully finishing a
project and failing in front of an
audience of people I had both successes
and a lot of failure at this school but
I was becoming a more pure version of
myself or more towards the person I
wanted to become and this home is where
that danced with fear and transformation
all began so the fear I have in this
current moment is that I’ll forget the
rest of this presentation and I will
stand up here and not share with you my
mission to convince you that today you
can face fear but it won’t come from
where you anticipate and that fear will
invite vulnerability authenticity and
self-discovery into your life
so let’s start with the greatest fear I
have ever faced the great unknown so
here we are in Spokane Washington I left
this nice little neighborhood in Eastern
Iowa where you are considered to mean if
you don’t greet your neighbors for this
foreign land where there are real
mountains and weed is legal
I waited way too long to make my college
decision and was left with two choices
the first was 15 minutes from home and
the next was 1,500 miles I saw this
prospect of this school so far away from
anything I had ever known and knew that
it would change me it would force
authenticity vulnerability and
self-discovery into my life so I had to
do it but the night before I left I was
freaking out I was laying in my bed
crying and my wise mom came up and knelt
next to me knowing that I wouldn’t take
her up on her offer she promised all I
had to do was try it and if I hated it I
could fly home with her and dad that
week no questions asked
she was right though and I’ll be crying
again four years later to leave this
place that has become so special to me
and like I said vulnerability
authenticity and self-discovery were
forced into every day here in Spokane
those three things have become integral
in my journey with fear and I hope you
see that they’ve encouraged me to
continue to face fear head-on so after a
tumultuous freshman year with a few
bumps and bruises I signed up to face
one of my longtime fears discomfort this
fear is rooted in not knowing where I
would sleep at night or the two girls
that I would be living with or the woman
that would open her home to us so now
we’re in cuernavaca morelos Mexico where
I would be studying Spanish for six
weeks after a nervous plane ride and a
really bumpy bus ride a few of my
classmates and I walked into a humid
Mexican classroom at the back of the
room were about six women around the age
of 50 who immediately fell silent when
we entered the room like they were
further pointing out how much we didn’t
belong there those women would become
our hosts mothers and would be driving
us home after our first day of
orientation the car ride in
my car was awkward to say the least as
the language barrier was really intense
we pulled into our driveway drugged our
suitcases full of six weeks of clothes
up to our new rooms I had a twin bed
oddly close to the floor and a small
closet that I shared with my roommate
but by far my favorite part of our new
room was this tile balcony I didn’t know
it at the time but I would spend every
morning watching the Sun light up the
Mexican sky so slowly before school just
then our new mom called us down for our
first meal together we sat at this
really big wood table and I looked
across the table at the two girls who I
would come to share every adventure with
they were just as scared as I was but
that fear was really special because all
of us shared it and it invited
vulnerability authenticity and
self-discovery into our little family
six weeks later our mom as we’re really
emotional about leaving said it’s not
adios it’s only see you later somehow
she had the faith to know that this
would be a really amazing experience for
all of us probably because of the fear
that we faced and overcame together
24 hours after a painful goodbye to
Mexico I found myself in Dublin Ireland
literally 24 hours later I was by myself
in the middle of Trinity College Dublin
with a huge suitcase once again filled
with six piece of clothes this time I
was terrified of being lost
fortunately the Guinness Factory was not
far away so I did make it there
but I was so terrified of being adrift
in this new country unfamiliar with the
community that I didn’t have that I was
familiar with in Mexico so thanks to
this fear I let authenticity guide me a
few days into our stay on my class was
on an excursion and I was shoved into
the uncomfortable seat right next to the
bus driver it had the best airflow on
the bus but it was too close that I
couldn’t not talk to him
the poor Irish man it took him a while
to warm up to his new copilot but
eventually he told me of betting on the
u.s. election that would happen in four
months I thought it was a joke so he
literally pulled out his betting ticket
and showed me he bet on Donald Trump and
then he told me of the small town that
he was from and then I could get a cheap
ticket from the middle of Dublin and go
there by myself so that night I went
home and bought my first ticket for my
solo trip I found myself in the middle
of this town called Luke Gerard that was
a few blocks by a few blocks wide and
had a cafe bar and a church the cafe bar
was the same thing as I was enjoying my
morning scone there were men a few yards
away from me enjoying their Guinness I
spent the entire day doing exactly what
I wanted getting lost losing self
service and finding the largest lake in
Ireland which was shockingly hard to
find I went home that night with the
biggest smile on my face
I let authenticity guide me because of
what I was so scared of and it led to
this beautiful adventure so the travel
bug is real I believe that the bug is
this little voice inside of your head
that promises life happiness sadness
success it says there’s an adventure to
be had somewhere other than where you
are right now and it promises
vulnerability authenticity and
self-discovery but a safe distance from
reality
so I struggled with throughout the next
school year with this little travel bug
in my head so I signed up for my next
adventure come with me now to Valencia
Spain where I would have to be okay with
being very very alone I arrived in
Valencia and was greeted by a man named
we wide spoken to you on the phone twice
it sounds really unsafe but he was way
nicer than I expected and I was excited
to get home to meet his wife Maria and
their son GA who I would be the nanny
for all summer up to this point I
thought that we had a short trip to the
middle of Valencia where we would find
our home when I realized we were driving
away from Valencia every horror kidnap
travel movie went running through my
head as I quickly asked Luis where we
were going
he said we lived 30 minutes outside of
Valencia in a small village so a few
days into my stay I had run out of
places to keep me busy
I could literally walk across the
village in less than 20 minutes people
started calling me the Americans thing
with Luis and Maria and lonely I was one
day it all really surfaced I was
standing on the balcony of our apartment
looking down at the one busy street in
the small village and I just felt so
alone I called my mom again the wise
lady she is she listened to me ask her
how I could spend so long so far out of
my comfort zone I told her all the
things I was scared of and as soon as I
hung up the phone of wait had physically
lifted off of my chest
It was as if just admitting my fears and
being vulnerable enough to do that had
transformed this loneliness into
solitude so for the next few days I
spent my free times in the morning
mimicking the old men who would walk so
gingerly on the sidewalk I would sit on
benches across from them and just watch
the world go by and I would bring
nothing to a coffee shop to just sit and
enjoy my coffee I became someone who
wasn’t afraid of the self-discovery that
can only happen when you are truly alone
so I had faced all these fears and
gathered these fears from around the
world and I wanted so badly to protect
them the thought of going back to that
sixteen-year-old girl that was just
scared terrified me most of all but a
few months ago I had a choice I could go
on my last summers adventure and be
vulnerable and authentic and faced fears
around the world or I could come home to
this place in shoe Evil Iowa jetting
around the world to face your fears is
exhilarating
we tell ourselves that going far away is
brave and adventurous but that’s easy
coming home tests to see if it was all
real I am the first person to say that
travel is crucial for learning and
perspective but it is not the end at
some point you have to come home now it
may not be the home that you had when
you were 16 years old
but you have to come home to yourself so
that’s what I’m asking you to do today
to know that you don’t have to hop on a
plane to find a vulnerability
authenticity and yourself you can find
them facing a fear right here at home so
I have found the antidote to the travel
bug I still jump at any opportunity for
adventure but I no longer buy the
promise that out there is the way to
real life I had to go around the world
and face these fears of discomfort the
unknown getting lost and being lonely
but in order for those fears to change
me to become a part of me I had to come
home to the little girl who lived here
in Louisville
Iowa thank you [Applause]
Iowa with a population of about 700
people I’m not surprised that none of
you know where that is
but regardless I’d like you to think
about where you lived when you were 16
you’re about halfway done with high
school probably learning to drive by
yourself for the first time and unless
you’re the captain of the football team
you’re probably not at the peak of your
existence I myself was not having a good
time and could be described with one
word scared I was scared of failing for
getting anything less than an A or being
made fun of for being different than my
classmates or not get it having the
perfect amount of volunteer
opportunities and being rejected by my
dream school I was cautious I was
careful I was filled with fear but at
the same age I was asked to face it I
became one of the first students at a
new project-based high school called
Iowa big at this school students are
asked to pick a project that is
meaningful to both them and their
community now being a part of something
like this was far out of my comfort zone
and it kind of scared me but after my
first day at this new school I learned
something really important that I could
be someone who faced and overcame fear
so for the next years of high school
that’s just what I got to do I faced
fears of upsetting people at my old
school of not successfully finishing a
project and failing in front of an
audience of people I had both successes
and a lot of failure at this school but
I was becoming a more pure version of
myself or more towards the person I
wanted to become and this home is where
that danced with fear and transformation
all began so the fear I have in this
current moment is that I’ll forget the
rest of this presentation and I will
stand up here and not share with you my
mission to convince you that today you
can face fear but it won’t come from
where you anticipate and that fear will
invite vulnerability authenticity and
self-discovery into your life
so let’s start with the greatest fear I
have ever faced the great unknown so
here we are in Spokane Washington I left
this nice little neighborhood in Eastern
Iowa where you are considered to mean if
you don’t greet your neighbors for this
foreign land where there are real
mountains and weed is legal
I waited way too long to make my college
decision and was left with two choices
the first was 15 minutes from home and
the next was 1,500 miles I saw this
prospect of this school so far away from
anything I had ever known and knew that
it would change me it would force
authenticity vulnerability and
self-discovery into my life so I had to
do it but the night before I left I was
freaking out I was laying in my bed
crying and my wise mom came up and knelt
next to me knowing that I wouldn’t take
her up on her offer she promised all I
had to do was try it and if I hated it I
could fly home with her and dad that
week no questions asked
she was right though and I’ll be crying
again four years later to leave this
place that has become so special to me
and like I said vulnerability
authenticity and self-discovery were
forced into every day here in Spokane
those three things have become integral
in my journey with fear and I hope you
see that they’ve encouraged me to
continue to face fear head-on so after a
tumultuous freshman year with a few
bumps and bruises I signed up to face
one of my longtime fears discomfort this
fear is rooted in not knowing where I
would sleep at night or the two girls
that I would be living with or the woman
that would open her home to us so now
we’re in cuernavaca morelos Mexico where
I would be studying Spanish for six
weeks after a nervous plane ride and a
really bumpy bus ride a few of my
classmates and I walked into a humid
Mexican classroom at the back of the
room were about six women around the age
of 50 who immediately fell silent when
we entered the room like they were
further pointing out how much we didn’t
belong there those women would become
our hosts mothers and would be driving
us home after our first day of
orientation the car ride in
my car was awkward to say the least as
the language barrier was really intense
we pulled into our driveway drugged our
suitcases full of six weeks of clothes
up to our new rooms I had a twin bed
oddly close to the floor and a small
closet that I shared with my roommate
but by far my favorite part of our new
room was this tile balcony I didn’t know
it at the time but I would spend every
morning watching the Sun light up the
Mexican sky so slowly before school just
then our new mom called us down for our
first meal together we sat at this
really big wood table and I looked
across the table at the two girls who I
would come to share every adventure with
they were just as scared as I was but
that fear was really special because all
of us shared it and it invited
vulnerability authenticity and
self-discovery into our little family
six weeks later our mom as we’re really
emotional about leaving said it’s not
adios it’s only see you later somehow
she had the faith to know that this
would be a really amazing experience for
all of us probably because of the fear
that we faced and overcame together
24 hours after a painful goodbye to
Mexico I found myself in Dublin Ireland
literally 24 hours later I was by myself
in the middle of Trinity College Dublin
with a huge suitcase once again filled
with six piece of clothes this time I
was terrified of being lost
fortunately the Guinness Factory was not
far away so I did make it there
but I was so terrified of being adrift
in this new country unfamiliar with the
community that I didn’t have that I was
familiar with in Mexico so thanks to
this fear I let authenticity guide me a
few days into our stay on my class was
on an excursion and I was shoved into
the uncomfortable seat right next to the
bus driver it had the best airflow on
the bus but it was too close that I
couldn’t not talk to him
the poor Irish man it took him a while
to warm up to his new copilot but
eventually he told me of betting on the
u.s. election that would happen in four
months I thought it was a joke so he
literally pulled out his betting ticket
and showed me he bet on Donald Trump and
then he told me of the small town that
he was from and then I could get a cheap
ticket from the middle of Dublin and go
there by myself so that night I went
home and bought my first ticket for my
solo trip I found myself in the middle
of this town called Luke Gerard that was
a few blocks by a few blocks wide and
had a cafe bar and a church the cafe bar
was the same thing as I was enjoying my
morning scone there were men a few yards
away from me enjoying their Guinness I
spent the entire day doing exactly what
I wanted getting lost losing self
service and finding the largest lake in
Ireland which was shockingly hard to
find I went home that night with the
biggest smile on my face
I let authenticity guide me because of
what I was so scared of and it led to
this beautiful adventure so the travel
bug is real I believe that the bug is
this little voice inside of your head
that promises life happiness sadness
success it says there’s an adventure to
be had somewhere other than where you
are right now and it promises
vulnerability authenticity and
self-discovery but a safe distance from
reality
so I struggled with throughout the next
school year with this little travel bug
in my head so I signed up for my next
adventure come with me now to Valencia
Spain where I would have to be okay with
being very very alone I arrived in
Valencia and was greeted by a man named
we wide spoken to you on the phone twice
it sounds really unsafe but he was way
nicer than I expected and I was excited
to get home to meet his wife Maria and
their son GA who I would be the nanny
for all summer up to this point I
thought that we had a short trip to the
middle of Valencia where we would find
our home when I realized we were driving
away from Valencia every horror kidnap
travel movie went running through my
head as I quickly asked Luis where we
were going
he said we lived 30 minutes outside of
Valencia in a small village so a few
days into my stay I had run out of
places to keep me busy
I could literally walk across the
village in less than 20 minutes people
started calling me the Americans thing
with Luis and Maria and lonely I was one
day it all really surfaced I was
standing on the balcony of our apartment
looking down at the one busy street in
the small village and I just felt so
alone I called my mom again the wise
lady she is she listened to me ask her
how I could spend so long so far out of
my comfort zone I told her all the
things I was scared of and as soon as I
hung up the phone of wait had physically
lifted off of my chest
It was as if just admitting my fears and
being vulnerable enough to do that had
transformed this loneliness into
solitude so for the next few days I
spent my free times in the morning
mimicking the old men who would walk so
gingerly on the sidewalk I would sit on
benches across from them and just watch
the world go by and I would bring
nothing to a coffee shop to just sit and
enjoy my coffee I became someone who
wasn’t afraid of the self-discovery that
can only happen when you are truly alone
so I had faced all these fears and
gathered these fears from around the
world and I wanted so badly to protect
them the thought of going back to that
sixteen-year-old girl that was just
scared terrified me most of all but a
few months ago I had a choice I could go
on my last summers adventure and be
vulnerable and authentic and faced fears
around the world or I could come home to
this place in shoe Evil Iowa jetting
around the world to face your fears is
exhilarating
we tell ourselves that going far away is
brave and adventurous but that’s easy
coming home tests to see if it was all
real I am the first person to say that
travel is crucial for learning and
perspective but it is not the end at
some point you have to come home now it
may not be the home that you had when
you were 16 years old
but you have to come home to yourself so
that’s what I’m asking you to do today
to know that you don’t have to hop on a
plane to find a vulnerability
authenticity and yourself you can find
them facing a fear right here at home so
I have found the antidote to the travel
bug I still jump at any opportunity for
adventure but I no longer buy the
promise that out there is the way to
real life I had to go around the world
and face these fears of discomfort the
unknown getting lost and being lonely
but in order for those fears to change
me to become a part of me I had to come
home to the little girl who lived here
in Louisville
Iowa thank you [Applause]
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