knowing who you are knowing what you
stand for knowing what you’re all about
knowing what you’re going to bring to
the table these are such important
skills just to be a successful person
they’re just as important when you’re
fighting a disease like cancer and you
have so many decisions that you have to
make and you have to be productive and
proactive you don’t want to be defined
by cancer you want to always be yourself
ten months ago I was diagnosed with a
rare aggressive acute blaring on the
brain nose cancer hole gets known as
cancer it brought me to my knees and I
had to stand up and lip cancer in the
eyes and I had to say you have met your
match and I had to believe in it well
the first decision I had to make was how
was I going to accept this was I going
to say what was me why did this happened
to me do I deserve this what did I do
wrong no I said this is a bump in the
road a really big bump in the road and I
better show gratitude and think of what
I have always had so much I was going on
80 years old I’ve never had an operation
I was taking no medication I went to the
doctor’s all of the time I got a second
opinion right away
I had the most amazing support system a
wonderful wonderful family I’ve been
married to the same man for 58 years
I’ve been teaching full-time for 62
years
I loved my classes I had no plans to
retire
I loved what I was doing I would
traveled over 90 different countries
mostly third world countries doing
humanitarian traveling oh my goodness
has brought me so much joy it was going
to be all about gratitude my next
decision is who do you tell when do you
tell them I found that so many people
keep it close to the heart they don’t
tell anyone it’s just their friends that
are really close in their family and
when I said to them why don’t you tell
anyone and they say it’s not as real if
you don’t talk about it and they said I
don’t want people to feel pity for me
and I said I can’t buy into those two
things so what did I do
I went to Linda the barber and she
shaved off my head and I put it on
Facebook no one could talk behind my
back
no one could second guess what was
happening to me
and then because I had this rare cancer
people didn’t know about I decided to
start my blog which was battling cancer
where your strongest and your best armor
awesome at this time people are shocked
because I belong to the green light
stand-up comedy group in Richfield and
from the stage of the Playhouse in front
of 500 people they gave me a shout out
to your cancer for me and people said
weren’t you embarrassed I said no need
to keep quiet about it
well my next big decision that I had to
make was how is they going to learn
about cancer people don’t talk about it
I read
everything that I could and so many
people I had known for so many years I
didn’t know they had cancer all of a
sudden I was part in the inner circle so
they started talking to me and I learned
so much from them and then I started my
big red notebook in this notebook was
every common concern and question that I
could possibly think about and my
radiologist called me the great and
visitor and we would start off each
session and he would say to me Darla how
many questions do you have for me today
and I would tell them and during my last
radiation session he said to me Darla
you ask more questions than any other
patient I’ve ever had they were deep
they were thoughtful they were real I am
so glad you asked these questions you
learned so much more about cancer than
most people and it helped you deal with
the disease I wish more people would ask
these questions so ask questions also I
found the American Cancer Society and
the hospitals offers so many free help
sessions for people oh I was so happy I
was not too prideful I took advantage of
every free thing that came down the pike
I got free financial help nutrition help
mind/body/spirit appearance I was so
thankful for the help that I got along
the way and then oh I had to deal with
the procedures and the tests and how I
was going to handle these they were
endless they were painful they were
embarrassing they were just endless it
was the PET scans and the cat scans and
the MRIs and the endoscopy and the
radiation
the bone taps oh my gosh and I could
have said no no no I don’t want these
you can do that but to me it was do I
want a limb or am I going to die and I
was all for living the most difficult
part for me was my mask of year and
you’ve probably seen it in the picture
up there I still when I take this out
I began to shake and sweat and tears
come to my eyes for six weeks every
single day except on weekends
this was buckled to my face it was so
frightening so scary so tight with the
eyes open watching the big machines
coming around me I had to wear this
because they have to pinpoint so
specifically where the cancer is and you
cannot move one fraction of an inch and
this mask was my mask of fear but this
mask is now my mask of courage because
whenever something comes up and I say
can I do this I think about the six
weeks with this mask and believe me it
makes a difference well after this what
did I have to deal with going to the
hospital long long long hospital stay
the first thing I did people couldn’t
believe I didn’t take a full medical
leave for Wescott I kept my online
courses and I’m so glad I did two online
courses focus keep them going it made me
feel productive also I said only family
I don’t want any visitors at the high
school Hospital oh my goodness people
went along they respected my wishes I
was so glad and people say
you didn’t want visitors I said I said I
think of my own experiences I’ve stood
out in the hall like in a reception line
waiting to get in to see a patient when
I finally got in to see the patient what
did I say what was politically correct
what do I bring the person was so tired
and so ill and they’re trying to
entertain and keep everyone happy I
don’t want to do this you have to be
yourself you have to own it people were
wonderful they supported me through
social media and afterwards I also went
to the hospital and I took hats and
jewelry and colorful scarves to wear
with my Johnny coat and it made me feel
better
also in the hospital if I had any any
energy at all I would get up and I would
walk around with my toxic trolley cart I
said to the nurses tell me are there any
patients that would like me to visit we
can talk cancer we could not talk answer
and I would go in I was like the Walmart
greeter of the oncology ward I met so
many wonderful people and talked to them
also I found in the hospital it was like
the UN everybody was from a different
country so I started my bulletin board
and on my bulletin board I had all of
the maps of the countries and pinpointed
where they were for oh the cross
fertilisation of cultural ideas was
wonderful also I had people who came in
who knew me from so many places from
Toastmasters public speaking club from
West Conn from the Women’s Center from
TBI Co the Career Center from
educational literacy programs and they
said to me
no dr. Shah when I’m off my shift and if
you’re feeling okay can you help me
write a resume help me study for this
test
talk about Westgard give me some ideas
for speeches and I said yes I was so
happy to be alive and productive oh this
worked so well for me and I’m not saying
any of you would do any of this you
certainly wouldn’t this is in your
toolkit this is my tool kit this is what
you have to figure out to get you
through this well I also had a woman
come to me and she said Darla I know you
go into the schools and you do
storytelling I want to tell you my story
I want to hear your story can I come in
during the night shift is easier and we
can share our stories I said oh my gosh
I love that and that’s what happened and
we started storytelling sometimes it was
a minute the buzzer would go off
sometimes it took three or four nights
to finish his story but our storytelling
group ended up with seven people telling
stories most of them had never heard
before and then lastly I had so much
material for stand-up comedy I could not
believe it I did my first stand-up gig
three weeks ago in Brewster New York I
was so pleased with the results
particularly for the cancer people and
their families and they were my target
audience and finally I just like to say
does cancer change you oh my goodness
does cancer change you remember I said I
wasn’t going to retire July 1st I’m
going but on my own terms I am still
teaching two classes each semester I’m
doing community outreach and I’m doing
alumni relations I’m do
the things that I want to do along with
other things also I have found that
there are four things that I’m really
going to focus on I’m going to focus on
family and friends still having
adventures and building memories because
that’s all you’re left with are the
memories I can’t go to third world
countries
my immune system has been compromised so
my husband and I are going on what we
call our national Christmas card tour
and we are renting a small RV we divided
the country into six parts we’re
starting in June to visit all the people
we send Christmas cards to that we
haven’t seen in years
and it’s all about reconnecting and then
it’s certainly important that we also
downsize I never had material things
that cost money I could care less about
that but I’m a teacher so I have stuff
so anyway I got rid of 28 boxes of
costumes it went to a home school
program I had 10,000 children’s books 35
different organizations even the reading
clinic here at Central is going to be
taking some of my books my puppets and
my instruments have gone to preschools
also I downsized I lost 30 pounds you do
not want to go on the cancer diet it is
not worth it but since I lost the 30
pounds I am working very very very hard
to keep this weight off to exercise and
eat properly and lastly I just like to
say I am going to continue advocacy I
have always been an advocate for gender
issues because I teach women’s history
also for educational reform and Jesse is
my hero and I also am an advocate for my
program for Alzheimer’s work letting
kids in the schools know about it
and now I am dealing with helping people
with cancer I’m being trained in
mind-body leadership I am also working
with the cancer couch which is comedy
and therapy I am running fashion shows
for people with cancer and I’m a support
group leader for head and facial cancer
as a teacher I will also go into biology
classes and talk and start fundraising
but most of all most of all I would like
to be a role model for other cancer
patients I do not want them to let the
cancer define them I want them to be
their own person when I left the
hospital for the last time I had to
people say to me you know Darla you may
never ever be a hundred percent again
and I looked at them and I said that’s
okay because I’m going to be a hundred
and ten percent I said I’m going to take
as much of the Darla as was there for
the hundred percent bring that person
back and then what I’m gonna do I’m
going to add ten percent for all I
learned about the disease the resiliency
the courage and bravery that apuk and
with this hundred and ten percent I am
going to kick the crap out of cancer not
just for me but for other people who are
going through what I’ve been through and
in conclusion I would just like to say
that I’m dedicating my talk today to tom
vote who was my role model that I look
to for how to deal with cancer and also
my ex student who’s here somewhere today
Ellen Shea in the back there love Ellen
she is another amazed
cancer survivor who could be a role
model for anyone else thank you [Applause]
stand for knowing what you’re all about
knowing what you’re going to bring to
the table these are such important
skills just to be a successful person
they’re just as important when you’re
fighting a disease like cancer and you
have so many decisions that you have to
make and you have to be productive and
proactive you don’t want to be defined
by cancer you want to always be yourself
ten months ago I was diagnosed with a
rare aggressive acute blaring on the
brain nose cancer hole gets known as
cancer it brought me to my knees and I
had to stand up and lip cancer in the
eyes and I had to say you have met your
match and I had to believe in it well
the first decision I had to make was how
was I going to accept this was I going
to say what was me why did this happened
to me do I deserve this what did I do
wrong no I said this is a bump in the
road a really big bump in the road and I
better show gratitude and think of what
I have always had so much I was going on
80 years old I’ve never had an operation
I was taking no medication I went to the
doctor’s all of the time I got a second
opinion right away
I had the most amazing support system a
wonderful wonderful family I’ve been
married to the same man for 58 years
I’ve been teaching full-time for 62
years
I loved my classes I had no plans to
retire
I loved what I was doing I would
traveled over 90 different countries
mostly third world countries doing
humanitarian traveling oh my goodness
has brought me so much joy it was going
to be all about gratitude my next
decision is who do you tell when do you
tell them I found that so many people
keep it close to the heart they don’t
tell anyone it’s just their friends that
are really close in their family and
when I said to them why don’t you tell
anyone and they say it’s not as real if
you don’t talk about it and they said I
don’t want people to feel pity for me
and I said I can’t buy into those two
things so what did I do
I went to Linda the barber and she
shaved off my head and I put it on
Facebook no one could talk behind my
back
no one could second guess what was
happening to me
and then because I had this rare cancer
people didn’t know about I decided to
start my blog which was battling cancer
where your strongest and your best armor
awesome at this time people are shocked
because I belong to the green light
stand-up comedy group in Richfield and
from the stage of the Playhouse in front
of 500 people they gave me a shout out
to your cancer for me and people said
weren’t you embarrassed I said no need
to keep quiet about it
well my next big decision that I had to
make was how is they going to learn
about cancer people don’t talk about it
I read
everything that I could and so many
people I had known for so many years I
didn’t know they had cancer all of a
sudden I was part in the inner circle so
they started talking to me and I learned
so much from them and then I started my
big red notebook in this notebook was
every common concern and question that I
could possibly think about and my
radiologist called me the great and
visitor and we would start off each
session and he would say to me Darla how
many questions do you have for me today
and I would tell them and during my last
radiation session he said to me Darla
you ask more questions than any other
patient I’ve ever had they were deep
they were thoughtful they were real I am
so glad you asked these questions you
learned so much more about cancer than
most people and it helped you deal with
the disease I wish more people would ask
these questions so ask questions also I
found the American Cancer Society and
the hospitals offers so many free help
sessions for people oh I was so happy I
was not too prideful I took advantage of
every free thing that came down the pike
I got free financial help nutrition help
mind/body/spirit appearance I was so
thankful for the help that I got along
the way and then oh I had to deal with
the procedures and the tests and how I
was going to handle these they were
endless they were painful they were
embarrassing they were just endless it
was the PET scans and the cat scans and
the MRIs and the endoscopy and the
radiation
the bone taps oh my gosh and I could
have said no no no I don’t want these
you can do that but to me it was do I
want a limb or am I going to die and I
was all for living the most difficult
part for me was my mask of year and
you’ve probably seen it in the picture
up there I still when I take this out
I began to shake and sweat and tears
come to my eyes for six weeks every
single day except on weekends
this was buckled to my face it was so
frightening so scary so tight with the
eyes open watching the big machines
coming around me I had to wear this
because they have to pinpoint so
specifically where the cancer is and you
cannot move one fraction of an inch and
this mask was my mask of fear but this
mask is now my mask of courage because
whenever something comes up and I say
can I do this I think about the six
weeks with this mask and believe me it
makes a difference well after this what
did I have to deal with going to the
hospital long long long hospital stay
the first thing I did people couldn’t
believe I didn’t take a full medical
leave for Wescott I kept my online
courses and I’m so glad I did two online
courses focus keep them going it made me
feel productive also I said only family
I don’t want any visitors at the high
school Hospital oh my goodness people
went along they respected my wishes I
was so glad and people say
you didn’t want visitors I said I said I
think of my own experiences I’ve stood
out in the hall like in a reception line
waiting to get in to see a patient when
I finally got in to see the patient what
did I say what was politically correct
what do I bring the person was so tired
and so ill and they’re trying to
entertain and keep everyone happy I
don’t want to do this you have to be
yourself you have to own it people were
wonderful they supported me through
social media and afterwards I also went
to the hospital and I took hats and
jewelry and colorful scarves to wear
with my Johnny coat and it made me feel
better
also in the hospital if I had any any
energy at all I would get up and I would
walk around with my toxic trolley cart I
said to the nurses tell me are there any
patients that would like me to visit we
can talk cancer we could not talk answer
and I would go in I was like the Walmart
greeter of the oncology ward I met so
many wonderful people and talked to them
also I found in the hospital it was like
the UN everybody was from a different
country so I started my bulletin board
and on my bulletin board I had all of
the maps of the countries and pinpointed
where they were for oh the cross
fertilisation of cultural ideas was
wonderful also I had people who came in
who knew me from so many places from
Toastmasters public speaking club from
West Conn from the Women’s Center from
TBI Co the Career Center from
educational literacy programs and they
said to me
no dr. Shah when I’m off my shift and if
you’re feeling okay can you help me
write a resume help me study for this
test
talk about Westgard give me some ideas
for speeches and I said yes I was so
happy to be alive and productive oh this
worked so well for me and I’m not saying
any of you would do any of this you
certainly wouldn’t this is in your
toolkit this is my tool kit this is what
you have to figure out to get you
through this well I also had a woman
come to me and she said Darla I know you
go into the schools and you do
storytelling I want to tell you my story
I want to hear your story can I come in
during the night shift is easier and we
can share our stories I said oh my gosh
I love that and that’s what happened and
we started storytelling sometimes it was
a minute the buzzer would go off
sometimes it took three or four nights
to finish his story but our storytelling
group ended up with seven people telling
stories most of them had never heard
before and then lastly I had so much
material for stand-up comedy I could not
believe it I did my first stand-up gig
three weeks ago in Brewster New York I
was so pleased with the results
particularly for the cancer people and
their families and they were my target
audience and finally I just like to say
does cancer change you oh my goodness
does cancer change you remember I said I
wasn’t going to retire July 1st I’m
going but on my own terms I am still
teaching two classes each semester I’m
doing community outreach and I’m doing
alumni relations I’m do
the things that I want to do along with
other things also I have found that
there are four things that I’m really
going to focus on I’m going to focus on
family and friends still having
adventures and building memories because
that’s all you’re left with are the
memories I can’t go to third world
countries
my immune system has been compromised so
my husband and I are going on what we
call our national Christmas card tour
and we are renting a small RV we divided
the country into six parts we’re
starting in June to visit all the people
we send Christmas cards to that we
haven’t seen in years
and it’s all about reconnecting and then
it’s certainly important that we also
downsize I never had material things
that cost money I could care less about
that but I’m a teacher so I have stuff
so anyway I got rid of 28 boxes of
costumes it went to a home school
program I had 10,000 children’s books 35
different organizations even the reading
clinic here at Central is going to be
taking some of my books my puppets and
my instruments have gone to preschools
also I downsized I lost 30 pounds you do
not want to go on the cancer diet it is
not worth it but since I lost the 30
pounds I am working very very very hard
to keep this weight off to exercise and
eat properly and lastly I just like to
say I am going to continue advocacy I
have always been an advocate for gender
issues because I teach women’s history
also for educational reform and Jesse is
my hero and I also am an advocate for my
program for Alzheimer’s work letting
kids in the schools know about it
and now I am dealing with helping people
with cancer I’m being trained in
mind-body leadership I am also working
with the cancer couch which is comedy
and therapy I am running fashion shows
for people with cancer and I’m a support
group leader for head and facial cancer
as a teacher I will also go into biology
classes and talk and start fundraising
but most of all most of all I would like
to be a role model for other cancer
patients I do not want them to let the
cancer define them I want them to be
their own person when I left the
hospital for the last time I had to
people say to me you know Darla you may
never ever be a hundred percent again
and I looked at them and I said that’s
okay because I’m going to be a hundred
and ten percent I said I’m going to take
as much of the Darla as was there for
the hundred percent bring that person
back and then what I’m gonna do I’m
going to add ten percent for all I
learned about the disease the resiliency
the courage and bravery that apuk and
with this hundred and ten percent I am
going to kick the crap out of cancer not
just for me but for other people who are
going through what I’ve been through and
in conclusion I would just like to say
that I’m dedicating my talk today to tom
vote who was my role model that I look
to for how to deal with cancer and also
my ex student who’s here somewhere today
Ellen Shea in the back there love Ellen
she is another amazed
cancer survivor who could be a role
model for anyone else thank you [Applause]
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