[Music]
this is me when I was only five years
old and even to this day I still
remember three really big things about
myself being so young I remember the
first one being this little boy and
having a dream I had a dream that I so
badly wanted to grow up to be a police
officer and if you would ask me when I
was five why why would you ever want to
grow up to be a police officer I would
have stood there with a little boy grin
would I look up to you and I would have
said because when I grow up I want to be
able to help people the second thing I
remember is that my mum and dad they
were not getting along so they got a
divorce and the way divorce worked in my
house very straightforward as five so I
stayed in the same house I grown up in
and I stayed there with my father it was
my mother that was the one to leave she
left and I didn’t see her again for the
better part of the next next 15 years or
so well I was left there with my dad my
dad’s an alcoholic and I know that
sometimes when we hear that word we have
a pretty negative understanding of what
that means and yes there are some people
that do things that they shouldn’t but
not my dad
my dad’s still a very caring kind loving
individual but the problem is however is
that when there was something going on
in his life where he should have been
talking about her – communicating or
addressing those issues he wasn’t
comfortable doing so so what he would do
instead is he turned to the alcohol and
he’d hoped that those problems in his
life was just like magic somehow
disappear so you’ll see very soon how
that played a very negative role for me
growing up but the last thing I remember
about being five and don’t be fooled is
what you see in front of you this
morning is the fact that I was slowly
growing in to be a horrific ly
introverted young person I used to be so
shy that if someone had walked up to say
hi or be kind or be my friend I wanted
no part of it so I’d put my head down
turn around and just walk away
but you see being that shy wasn’t my
only challenge because in my mind if I
was ever feeling any type of perverse
emotion whether that be anger sadness
disappointment fear anything along those
lines my body was always gonna react by
crying well you see it was just after
that divorce my dad felt it so he had
met the new woman of his dream so he
invited her come and live in my home but
I’m only five I’m basically waiting at
the front door hoping mums gonna come
through that door at anytime yet this
stranger has now moved in and I knew at
five years old as I know to this day
that when that woman moved into my life
she absolutely hated me and I know that
because when she moved into my life she
had some extreme rules the first one it
was
to be the biggest the one that would
last the longest and still affect me to
this day and that one was gonna be that
from that day forward she was gonna lock
me in the basement of my house well
that’s my house looks pretty nice on the
outside except the four walls to that
home hid of deep dark secret and that is
that basement because the basement that
I was locked in had four cement walls a
screw and light bulb in the ceiling for
Windows but three of which were normally
either had the growth outside of the
plants or maybe they were boarded up the
fourth one always cemented over there
was no heat there was no air
conditioning I wasn’t allowed ties the
only thing I could have is a small
little black-and-white television with a
couple of antennae on top and on a nice
day I might get lucky to have one maybe
two channels that would come in so there
I was locked in that basement but I
can’t even say hi to people anyways so
I’m already suffering inside but what
would happen is she would also catch on
very quick I cried all the time and you
see it wasn’t just the fact that she
clued in to that it was the fact that
she she really manipulated it it started
with with calling me names but it didn’t
take long before she’d start to yell and
scream but it was the words that she
would tell me at a young age as I grew
older the words of I’m never gonna be
light no one’s ever gonna be my friend
no one’s ever gonna love me I’m just
forever gonna be worthless because I’m
not good enough those words would keep
being but then the screaming so what
would happen every now and again is my
dad he would know that she’s screaming
so he’d come down to that basement he’d
find wherever I was more often than not
just curled up in a corner just trying
to stay warm cuz that basement was
always so so cold he’d come he’d find me
he put his arm around me with his drink
in his other hand and he’d look at this
young person and just say to me tad just
ignore her just ignore her she’ll stop
she’ll stop and those would be the words
that he would always do instead of going
in addressing the problem which is what
he needed to do he would go to the young
person and just tell me to ignore her
but you see what was happening is that I
was only allowed to leave that house for
two circumstances one was either to go
to school and the other was every now
and again my dad would come to me and
say tad you know do you want to come
with me on Sunday morning to go and see
this family friend of ours so I had that
option I could either go with my dad or
stay in that basement alone with that
woman
well what my dad didn’t know is that
when I was going to that house I was
being sexually abused by an older man at
that residence my dad would never know
because I didn’t tell anybody but
every Sunday I’d still have that option
do I want to go with my dad where do I
want stay at home in that basement with
that woman every single week I still
chose to go with my dad knowing full
well what was going to take place but I
did it because that is how afraid I was
of that house
the other time has allowed to leave to
go to school but as I stand in front of
you today I can assure you there was not
a single day of being at school that was
ever any better than being in that
basement it was just different and the
reason being is because kids that school
also figured out the fact that I cried
all the time and they honed in right
away and they knew that the way to get
me to cry was all you need to do is just
call me just a simple of a couple of bad
names and I would cry no matter what but
again just like bullying that started
with the names but for me that didn’t it
didn’t stop there because it went from
something simple maybe like knocking the
books out of my hand or hip checking
into the locker tripping down the stairs
beating me up so bad I don’t even know
what my name was when it was over chased
home from school you name it it happened
it happened every single day but I
didn’t do anything about any of this I
held everything in and what I would do
is every night I’d put my head on a
pillow and I just simply hope and wait
and maybe wish that tomorrow was gonna
be better but for me growing up tomorrow
was never better tomorrow at very best
was only a repeat of what just happened
today and there was once a time my life
I couldn’t stand today but I continued
to hold everything in it was when I was
17 years old that I don’t I can’t even
explain why it happened but I ran away
from home I had a ten dollar bill in my
hand and the clothes on my back
in fact the photos that I’ve shown you
up here the only photo that I even have
of myself under the age of 17 years old
I ran away from home I never looked back
and I started to build my life I turned
to the government to get some assistance
they got me a youth shelter to move in
too along with that financial monthly
monthly check to help me through somehow
I managed to finish school but I’d
always held on to that dream that one
day I am gonna be worth something I’m
gonna achieve my dream of be a police
officer but as I was growing older I had
not yet addressed the mental health
issues I was experiencing and that when
I late teens that’s when everything
caught up to me the words that I’ve been
told for all those years because it was
one night I decided I was done with
everything I attempted suicide I took
every pill that was in my house I’d
locked the door behind me I went to bed
I never left
the note I didn’t call anyone I truly
wanted to die I went to sleep and then I
woke up the next morning and I can tell
you I’ve been an entirely different
person from that morning moving forward
because when I woke up that morning I
realized that I was very very angry with
myself I was so upset that I would even
dare do something like that because I
had so much more to give the fact that
her words of putting me down for all
those years it wasn’t me that was wrong
it was her that was wrong so I started
to do something pretty impressive with
myself and that’s I started to believe
in myself and because I did that I can
tell you that by the time by the time I
was I was starting to grow a little
older that’s when I because I did
believe in myself it’s that when I
started to work really hard I I gave it
my all and then I tried and because I
tried I can tell you I grew up to
achieve my dream because I am a police
officer now as I had been for the last
ten years my patrol zone is right
downtown Calgary I’m very proud to
represent the Calgary Police Service
I started Mike policing career with the
RCMP in Surrey BC and I could tell you
that my life was perfect I’d achieved
everything everything I could have ever
wanted it’s I love the job more than
words itself can ever say but there was
still something that I didn’t realize
and that is I had a different journey
that was coming my way because on one
night October 2011 I was laying a bed
reading the news going through the
headlines as I do every night and that’s
when I saw this article about this young
man
that’s our article headline says Ottawa
teenager takes his own life because of
severe bullying and that’s the night
that I started to read about Jamie
hubely 15 years old commits suicide
because at five years old the kids
realize that he’s a figure skater and
not a hockey player and later in life he
came out is openly gay the family
totally accepted that except the kids at
school they did not at 15 years old
Jamie had been struggling with mental
illness and he did take his own life but
when I finished reading this article
that night I remember to this moment
that has absolutely frozen paralyzed in
bed I thought wow I I felt in in a way I
was almost reading about myself five
years old the challenges with mental
health the bullying that was going on
holding a lot in and then the suicide
attempt but that’s when I realized that
I’m not going to be a person anymore
that’s gonna sit around reading these
headlines and just hope and wait and
wish for the world to change I realized
that if I want positive
change in this world that positive
change has got to start with me and
Jamie and I had an awful lot in common
not only with the mental health as I
said but also the fact that we’re both
gay and that is when I decided I am
gonna do something about this I decided
to create a program that I call bullying
ends here I didn’t realize it was gonna
turn into something like this because I
am still a very very shy person but what
it did start with is just me going to a
classroom I wanted to know what is it
like to be in school nowadays obviously
with what I went through is a long time
ago and there’s a lot of differences
between then and now but yet there’s so
many similarities so I thought okay well
I’m gonna open up and I’m gonna share
because there is nothing wrong with
talking about mental illness there is
nothing wrong about speaking about our
innermost thoughts and what we’ve gone
through but I didn’t realize that the
connection was going to be made because
although I started with a single
classroom back in 2012 was my first
presentation that since then I’ve now
done almost a thousand presentations all
across this country spoken the more than
350,000 young people I can tell you that
the connection is being made because of
the simple fact that on my website the
bullying and searcy a website that now
the kids are having that connection and
they’re reaching out so when the last
two years alone I’ve received more than
30,000 emails from our young people
telling me exactly what’s going on how
they’re feeling sometimes I’m the first
person they’ve ever shared the
information that they’re putting out
there I should also tell you that I do
all of this on my own time I don’t get
paid I do it on my days off because this
is how passionate I am about carrying on
Jamie’s message of acceptance and
understanding I think the biggest thing
I should share with you about the
program is the fact that I have been
credited there the program at least has
been credited with saving 43 young lives
because what happens after the
presentation is the kids are inspired to
go home they realize they have never
ever been alone that they’re everyone
has a story and by simply sharing those
stories that’s when we realize how much
empowerment we can actually do just
starts with one person sharing letting
people know it’s okay to be who you are
and what you’re experiencing and we are
all there to help but we can’t help
unless we know there’s something that
needs helping with so I I thought okay
so I created the website I wrote a book
and I thought well now what do I do and
that’s when I decide I’m just gonna
stand back and let things happen so now
the requests come in from all over the
world tomorrow I leave for Palm Springs
to go and speak down there and again
just continue doing it on my own time I
wouldn’t choose anything else anything
better in life than to continue on this
journey I’ve got my dream come true but
now I’ve got this journey that’s kind of
like a secondary dream come true so I’ll
leave you with this when you go home
tonight take a look at the mirror and
look at yourself and ask yourself a very
simple question that is why is I the
very best person that I could have been
today because when you answer that
question you’re truly honest with
yourself that’s when you’re gonna
remember the things that you said the
actions you took the people that you
know full well God harms are abused in
some way today and that’s when you
challenge yourself that tomorrow
tomorrow I’m gonna be better tomorrow
I’m gonna lead by example tomorrow I’m
gonna start a legacy for myself to where
I’m gonna reach out I’m gonna be
someone’s voice maybe just maybe I’m
gonna be somebody’s hero and when you
start to think like that that’s when
you’ll truly understand why I do what I
do because I am absolutely convinced
that together we can not only change
lives but we’ll save them thank you
[Applause]
you
this is me when I was only five years
old and even to this day I still
remember three really big things about
myself being so young I remember the
first one being this little boy and
having a dream I had a dream that I so
badly wanted to grow up to be a police
officer and if you would ask me when I
was five why why would you ever want to
grow up to be a police officer I would
have stood there with a little boy grin
would I look up to you and I would have
said because when I grow up I want to be
able to help people the second thing I
remember is that my mum and dad they
were not getting along so they got a
divorce and the way divorce worked in my
house very straightforward as five so I
stayed in the same house I grown up in
and I stayed there with my father it was
my mother that was the one to leave she
left and I didn’t see her again for the
better part of the next next 15 years or
so well I was left there with my dad my
dad’s an alcoholic and I know that
sometimes when we hear that word we have
a pretty negative understanding of what
that means and yes there are some people
that do things that they shouldn’t but
not my dad
my dad’s still a very caring kind loving
individual but the problem is however is
that when there was something going on
in his life where he should have been
talking about her – communicating or
addressing those issues he wasn’t
comfortable doing so so what he would do
instead is he turned to the alcohol and
he’d hoped that those problems in his
life was just like magic somehow
disappear so you’ll see very soon how
that played a very negative role for me
growing up but the last thing I remember
about being five and don’t be fooled is
what you see in front of you this
morning is the fact that I was slowly
growing in to be a horrific ly
introverted young person I used to be so
shy that if someone had walked up to say
hi or be kind or be my friend I wanted
no part of it so I’d put my head down
turn around and just walk away
but you see being that shy wasn’t my
only challenge because in my mind if I
was ever feeling any type of perverse
emotion whether that be anger sadness
disappointment fear anything along those
lines my body was always gonna react by
crying well you see it was just after
that divorce my dad felt it so he had
met the new woman of his dream so he
invited her come and live in my home but
I’m only five I’m basically waiting at
the front door hoping mums gonna come
through that door at anytime yet this
stranger has now moved in and I knew at
five years old as I know to this day
that when that woman moved into my life
she absolutely hated me and I know that
because when she moved into my life she
had some extreme rules the first one it
was
to be the biggest the one that would
last the longest and still affect me to
this day and that one was gonna be that
from that day forward she was gonna lock
me in the basement of my house well
that’s my house looks pretty nice on the
outside except the four walls to that
home hid of deep dark secret and that is
that basement because the basement that
I was locked in had four cement walls a
screw and light bulb in the ceiling for
Windows but three of which were normally
either had the growth outside of the
plants or maybe they were boarded up the
fourth one always cemented over there
was no heat there was no air
conditioning I wasn’t allowed ties the
only thing I could have is a small
little black-and-white television with a
couple of antennae on top and on a nice
day I might get lucky to have one maybe
two channels that would come in so there
I was locked in that basement but I
can’t even say hi to people anyways so
I’m already suffering inside but what
would happen is she would also catch on
very quick I cried all the time and you
see it wasn’t just the fact that she
clued in to that it was the fact that
she she really manipulated it it started
with with calling me names but it didn’t
take long before she’d start to yell and
scream but it was the words that she
would tell me at a young age as I grew
older the words of I’m never gonna be
light no one’s ever gonna be my friend
no one’s ever gonna love me I’m just
forever gonna be worthless because I’m
not good enough those words would keep
being but then the screaming so what
would happen every now and again is my
dad he would know that she’s screaming
so he’d come down to that basement he’d
find wherever I was more often than not
just curled up in a corner just trying
to stay warm cuz that basement was
always so so cold he’d come he’d find me
he put his arm around me with his drink
in his other hand and he’d look at this
young person and just say to me tad just
ignore her just ignore her she’ll stop
she’ll stop and those would be the words
that he would always do instead of going
in addressing the problem which is what
he needed to do he would go to the young
person and just tell me to ignore her
but you see what was happening is that I
was only allowed to leave that house for
two circumstances one was either to go
to school and the other was every now
and again my dad would come to me and
say tad you know do you want to come
with me on Sunday morning to go and see
this family friend of ours so I had that
option I could either go with my dad or
stay in that basement alone with that
woman
well what my dad didn’t know is that
when I was going to that house I was
being sexually abused by an older man at
that residence my dad would never know
because I didn’t tell anybody but
every Sunday I’d still have that option
do I want to go with my dad where do I
want stay at home in that basement with
that woman every single week I still
chose to go with my dad knowing full
well what was going to take place but I
did it because that is how afraid I was
of that house
the other time has allowed to leave to
go to school but as I stand in front of
you today I can assure you there was not
a single day of being at school that was
ever any better than being in that
basement it was just different and the
reason being is because kids that school
also figured out the fact that I cried
all the time and they honed in right
away and they knew that the way to get
me to cry was all you need to do is just
call me just a simple of a couple of bad
names and I would cry no matter what but
again just like bullying that started
with the names but for me that didn’t it
didn’t stop there because it went from
something simple maybe like knocking the
books out of my hand or hip checking
into the locker tripping down the stairs
beating me up so bad I don’t even know
what my name was when it was over chased
home from school you name it it happened
it happened every single day but I
didn’t do anything about any of this I
held everything in and what I would do
is every night I’d put my head on a
pillow and I just simply hope and wait
and maybe wish that tomorrow was gonna
be better but for me growing up tomorrow
was never better tomorrow at very best
was only a repeat of what just happened
today and there was once a time my life
I couldn’t stand today but I continued
to hold everything in it was when I was
17 years old that I don’t I can’t even
explain why it happened but I ran away
from home I had a ten dollar bill in my
hand and the clothes on my back
in fact the photos that I’ve shown you
up here the only photo that I even have
of myself under the age of 17 years old
I ran away from home I never looked back
and I started to build my life I turned
to the government to get some assistance
they got me a youth shelter to move in
too along with that financial monthly
monthly check to help me through somehow
I managed to finish school but I’d
always held on to that dream that one
day I am gonna be worth something I’m
gonna achieve my dream of be a police
officer but as I was growing older I had
not yet addressed the mental health
issues I was experiencing and that when
I late teens that’s when everything
caught up to me the words that I’ve been
told for all those years because it was
one night I decided I was done with
everything I attempted suicide I took
every pill that was in my house I’d
locked the door behind me I went to bed
I never left
the note I didn’t call anyone I truly
wanted to die I went to sleep and then I
woke up the next morning and I can tell
you I’ve been an entirely different
person from that morning moving forward
because when I woke up that morning I
realized that I was very very angry with
myself I was so upset that I would even
dare do something like that because I
had so much more to give the fact that
her words of putting me down for all
those years it wasn’t me that was wrong
it was her that was wrong so I started
to do something pretty impressive with
myself and that’s I started to believe
in myself and because I did that I can
tell you that by the time by the time I
was I was starting to grow a little
older that’s when I because I did
believe in myself it’s that when I
started to work really hard I I gave it
my all and then I tried and because I
tried I can tell you I grew up to
achieve my dream because I am a police
officer now as I had been for the last
ten years my patrol zone is right
downtown Calgary I’m very proud to
represent the Calgary Police Service
I started Mike policing career with the
RCMP in Surrey BC and I could tell you
that my life was perfect I’d achieved
everything everything I could have ever
wanted it’s I love the job more than
words itself can ever say but there was
still something that I didn’t realize
and that is I had a different journey
that was coming my way because on one
night October 2011 I was laying a bed
reading the news going through the
headlines as I do every night and that’s
when I saw this article about this young
man
that’s our article headline says Ottawa
teenager takes his own life because of
severe bullying and that’s the night
that I started to read about Jamie
hubely 15 years old commits suicide
because at five years old the kids
realize that he’s a figure skater and
not a hockey player and later in life he
came out is openly gay the family
totally accepted that except the kids at
school they did not at 15 years old
Jamie had been struggling with mental
illness and he did take his own life but
when I finished reading this article
that night I remember to this moment
that has absolutely frozen paralyzed in
bed I thought wow I I felt in in a way I
was almost reading about myself five
years old the challenges with mental
health the bullying that was going on
holding a lot in and then the suicide
attempt but that’s when I realized that
I’m not going to be a person anymore
that’s gonna sit around reading these
headlines and just hope and wait and
wish for the world to change I realized
that if I want positive
change in this world that positive
change has got to start with me and
Jamie and I had an awful lot in common
not only with the mental health as I
said but also the fact that we’re both
gay and that is when I decided I am
gonna do something about this I decided
to create a program that I call bullying
ends here I didn’t realize it was gonna
turn into something like this because I
am still a very very shy person but what
it did start with is just me going to a
classroom I wanted to know what is it
like to be in school nowadays obviously
with what I went through is a long time
ago and there’s a lot of differences
between then and now but yet there’s so
many similarities so I thought okay well
I’m gonna open up and I’m gonna share
because there is nothing wrong with
talking about mental illness there is
nothing wrong about speaking about our
innermost thoughts and what we’ve gone
through but I didn’t realize that the
connection was going to be made because
although I started with a single
classroom back in 2012 was my first
presentation that since then I’ve now
done almost a thousand presentations all
across this country spoken the more than
350,000 young people I can tell you that
the connection is being made because of
the simple fact that on my website the
bullying and searcy a website that now
the kids are having that connection and
they’re reaching out so when the last
two years alone I’ve received more than
30,000 emails from our young people
telling me exactly what’s going on how
they’re feeling sometimes I’m the first
person they’ve ever shared the
information that they’re putting out
there I should also tell you that I do
all of this on my own time I don’t get
paid I do it on my days off because this
is how passionate I am about carrying on
Jamie’s message of acceptance and
understanding I think the biggest thing
I should share with you about the
program is the fact that I have been
credited there the program at least has
been credited with saving 43 young lives
because what happens after the
presentation is the kids are inspired to
go home they realize they have never
ever been alone that they’re everyone
has a story and by simply sharing those
stories that’s when we realize how much
empowerment we can actually do just
starts with one person sharing letting
people know it’s okay to be who you are
and what you’re experiencing and we are
all there to help but we can’t help
unless we know there’s something that
needs helping with so I I thought okay
so I created the website I wrote a book
and I thought well now what do I do and
that’s when I decide I’m just gonna
stand back and let things happen so now
the requests come in from all over the
world tomorrow I leave for Palm Springs
to go and speak down there and again
just continue doing it on my own time I
wouldn’t choose anything else anything
better in life than to continue on this
journey I’ve got my dream come true but
now I’ve got this journey that’s kind of
like a secondary dream come true so I’ll
leave you with this when you go home
tonight take a look at the mirror and
look at yourself and ask yourself a very
simple question that is why is I the
very best person that I could have been
today because when you answer that
question you’re truly honest with
yourself that’s when you’re gonna
remember the things that you said the
actions you took the people that you
know full well God harms are abused in
some way today and that’s when you
challenge yourself that tomorrow
tomorrow I’m gonna be better tomorrow
I’m gonna lead by example tomorrow I’m
gonna start a legacy for myself to where
I’m gonna reach out I’m gonna be
someone’s voice maybe just maybe I’m
gonna be somebody’s hero and when you
start to think like that that’s when
you’ll truly understand why I do what I
do because I am absolutely convinced
that together we can not only change
lives but we’ll save them thank you
[Applause]
you
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