“Bridging the gap, learning to listen” | Sjaan Maria Flikweert | TEDxAmsterdamWomen

bridging the gap learning to listen
bridging the gap learning to listen and
to be brave ears have no self defense
mechanism what awakens from hearing
another voice can leave you raw
vulnerable confused raw vulnerable
confused bridging the gap learning to
listen and to be brave enough to be
brave enough to accept the change that
will come hi my name is Shan flick weird
I am very happy to be here tonight
bridging the gap what a beautiful theme
and I am very glad to contribute a poem
to the scene
it’s called motherhood some people
worship her God some measure tried to
control build laughs block graphs and
some people worship goddesses some
become parents some are have a wish not
to be some want to be have a wish but
never will be and some will never know
they are will never know they wanted to
be never wanted to be an accident
kids doctors that never thought it could
we worship her God we hold her in the
palm of hand
carry her heavy underarms we carry her
heavy on their arms we adopt we abort we
adopt we abort we we obsess we buckle
under impulse we put price tags on the
heads of newborns confront taboo we hold
regrets in sleepless nights we search to
feel think it’s strange feel shame when
we cannot find the will to want the
reason not to the answer to thin to past
lips we to polite we give in the
questions ready
we are not there are doubts there are
certainties there’s a weight to carry
and the other to consider longing a rope
a howl a prey there’s a god to obey some
do it alone some together some have
countless fathers a DNA profile does not
define a mother we’ve been raised by
many chests
we’ve been late we’ve been scared we’ve
been fools we’ve been wrong we’ve been
hoping for a negative outcome eyes fixed
over standing feelings that we don’t
want not now not like this the
expectations the weight the unexpected
blood running rivers down legs there’s
grief the loss of I would have had I
could have had I should have but I
didn’t become I didn’t know how an open
skull wouldn’t have been safe in these
arms who are we we tell fables fairy
tales Immaculate Conception
we build lies and statues and images we
create girls with an abundance of love a
love that leaks getting robbed of their
shine before they peak who do we belong
to
we Nestle
on the hardwood between freshly painted
walls we missile on eight floors with
the thin walls and the noisy neighbors
in rooms that are too small houses so
big that we lose each other and we get
lost we nestled in hearts desperately
clutching the space around us trying to
find purpose in something that wouldn’t
exist without us we we behave like
animals we build nests are we free or
are we faithful servants to our capacity
to create aren’t we all birth mothers
aren’t we nurturing something that we
see it everywhere in how they pet a dog
plants or plants fingers in soil or
stroked a canvas the birth of new
creators workers we are and we nurture
we invest in desire sometimes carefully
and sometimes we throw caution to the
wind and from that moment forward we
give we sacrifice thresholds of pain go
over and beyond and again and again we
make space between our vital organs
remember the nights where we would dance
our bodies would carry pockets of air
underneath their feet
we were immortal we trade immortality
for beating hearts knowing that one day
they will stop and still we choose to do
so we take our willing skin and we fold
wrinkles to create reservoirs for
emergency situations we take the best of
sources and fill breasts and let it grow
like flora and fauna grows alongside the
Nile it doesn’t matter even in a soil of
loose sand we create ecosystems we spawn
roots
and finally we weigh the heart until
it’s heavy enough to hold love but light
enough to deal with disappointment and
then we let go of the other aren’t we
all
nourishing something aren’t we all mothers