hey yall already so have you guys ever
been to a party where a food fight is
mandatory I have it’s not as fun as you
might think for somebody with autism
with sensitivity issues around getting
food on your face on your hands and
everywhere including the walls it took a
while for my mom to get the steak off
the wall she had to repaint the walls
alright so I’m Alexander and I have
autism you may not know it because I
come across as having more social skills
than the average person with autism and
that is because of the wonderful people
in my life that has helped me along the
way and you might think that it is
teachers ABA therapy staff but it was
really my friends the peers in my life
that helped me the most and you guys
whether you know it or not are all
teachers for people with autism we look
we’re very visual and we look to people
with um for guidance and stuff I just
took out my ear plugs because it’s a lot
quieter in here than I thought so it’s
actually a little more artistically
friendly which is nice so yes you guys
are the teachers as well you guys teach
how to hopefully behave appropriately
which I know that you guys being
teenagers and us being human that is not
always what it is so we of course have
bad examples but i like to say fun
examples of teachers as well my best
friend her name is Megan we know we’ve
we’ve been best friends for now i
calculated 21 years which I now realize
that I am super old and it’s kind of
like wow we are old being 28 so most of
my life was with her she is basically my
other half
my bestest friend in the whole world but
it did not start out that way how I
started out was a little hobby farm and
I’m talking a little hobby farm with
just a dozen chickens and some bunnies
they were my best friends the chickens I
would go in the pen with them and they
they are very predictable chickens if
you are loud they are loud if you were
quiet they’re quiet if you feed them
food they will eat it a lot like humans
too though we’re keep the kids I lived
across the street from an elementary
school in ucluelet and I would watch the
kids and they’re very unpredictable
because humans are unpredictable they
they’re not robots which I would like to
think that that would be a nice thing
but emotions and all of that stuff is
just that’s not in robots so it was
really hard for me to figure out how to
approach these creatures called humans
called children because children are
very unpredictable and they are very
loud and very non artistically friendly
so going to school with basically your
worst nightmare unpredictable people was
a bit of trouble but they were also my
best teachers because the chickens
either you can only learn so much from
chickens and when you’re a human it’s
hard to walk like a chicken you know and
it’s hard to peck with your face on the
ground and it really looks awkward and
not socially acceptable and even I know
that and I’m autistic
so what they learned I learned is that
these strange little children have the
capability of to sit and pay attention
to this big adult that I had no idea
what they were saying because it was all
about sharing and social and being nice
and writing and touching paper and fun
fact about me which is not so fun with
if you’re me is I have such a severe
sensitivity to paper that I cannot touch
paper without it feeling like it was out
on a hot burner so could if you could
imagine having to touch a hot burner
every day for 12 years x 5 x and then x
50 times a day which i don’t do math so
I have no idea what I just said but
having a best friend like Megan and
having the friends I do have are really
key for people with or without autism I
just say with autism because I that’s
relevant to me and by the way you guys
are a lot more stranger than you guys
think that we’re strange we think your
guys are just as strange in a good way
we’re all you know we’re all this but
you guys I I like to study you guys you
know it’s like little like hmm why do
you do that why do you do that and I’ll
go what’s that face for if I don’t know
you and you’re making a face that like a
smile face and I haven’t seen your smile
face I’ll go what’s that for what’s that
face for and sometimes they’ll give me
like a place of what do you mean and I
go what’s that face for so then it’s on
of what’s that face for and then as I
get to know you I say it less and less
because I can remember what that face
was for um how me and Megan met was
actually funny as she she thought I was
cool for some reason and I say some
reason cuz i really wasn’t if you would
have thought me you gotta be like wow i
would have made fun of him too so she
kept asking me if she if she like if she
because she wanted to come over and i
will go numb no you’re not
don’t come over I wasn’t super verbal
back then but I certainly when I was
verbal I would there was no like what do
you guys call it sugar coating or easing
it was you know how would you like to
what I can I come over to your house
instead of the you know socially
acceptable one would be I think I might
be busy but I will see I’ve heard that
but I just said no you’re not allowed so
I so after months of going no you’re not
allowed and she was persistent like I
would think that she would have gave up
already but no 20 years later she still
is always over so she she found out
after months and of getting denied by me
and rudely didn’t denied by mean you
know she she found out that she should
ask my mom and so my mom of course was
like yeah sure okay social she’s all
about like you know how do I make this
kid social so he can grow up and not you
know have a tough time in his world he
her goal was when you’re 25 you are not
going to have me holding your hand when
you’re 25 you’re not going to have me do
this when you’re 25 you’re going to be
able to function so her thing was she’s
gonna bring a whole bunch of these
little in predictable little children
over a bunch of them all the time that I
mean and I mean like all the time we had
they we had like sleepovers and we had
movie nights and we had food fight
nights one of my birthday parties was a
scarred me but everyone else loved it it
was the inside out and backwards party
so and if you know anything about people
with autism routine is everything so my
mom was like well al when you’re 25 you
can’t control the world and the routine
is not going to cater to you for every
moment and I was like being six yes it
will
she was right so she so what happened
was she’s like okay all the kids you got
to come over with your clothes inside
out and backwards you try putting on
jeans inside out and backwards it’s
really weird your shoes backwards the
table was flipped upside down the chairs
were upside down you had to eat with
your face on the table they’re worth no
plates no utensils or anything like that
because that would be normal right she
wanted to really mess it up and let me
tell you me like i’ll tell you a simple
thing that still messes me up even this
morning i have two cups of coffee one in
each hand because i like pears i’m OCD
too so this morning I knew that I was
coming here and I knew that I was going
to tim hortons because i love Timmy’s
and Timmy’s is nice and come on
canadians let’s go Timmy’s so I did not
have my two cups of coffees today
because I did not have time and let me
tell you it ruined my world and let me
tell you the coffee i have is not that
good all i have is black coffee it’s
really boring and i have it in the same
to starbuck cups reusable cups double
fist one after the other I open one okay
you guys don’t need to know the rest but
anyways routine is very important so
with this birthday party she wanted to
mess up that routine so then when I am
now 28 I can survive the little messed
up of the two coffees that I did not
have so but now thanks to her my dearest
mother she prepared me for little things
like not having two cups of coffee in
the morning as soon as you wake up and
believe me it still kind of messes with
me but I’ve learned that is okay for you
guys I know that there is you know
obviously there is going to be a ton of
people with autism in your schools in
your lives may be in your family whether
they’re diagnosed or not I have a best
friend that is not clinically diagnosed
but she certainly has lots of autism
it’s funny because it’s like we were we
were both very social and she actually
has like a normal job and she has a
driver’s license and all that weird
normal stuff and we talk about how the
world as we can both relate to our world
the autism world and then the normal
weird world aka the socially acceptable
world and we talk about a lot of things
of like you know what it feels like to
have autism the sensitivities the how
hard it is for us to get out of bed and
do our routine and then God forbid the
routine is broken in the slightest so as
much as my mom tried to drill out
routine is not everything routine is a
lot and it’s it’s it’s calming it’s
soothing it’s predictable it’s like the
chickens I still love chickens yeah so
when you guys meet people with autism in
the hallways and stuff like that a
little thing that you guys could do to
to make them feel a little more welcome
because it’s a strange world sit picture
you know this is earth and we’re from
Mars like literally different planet we
don’t know we want to know what we just
don’t know and and whether we’re verbal
or not we always have questions in our
head of why do people do that why do
people do this why are people so able to
just sit and pay attention to a speaker
for 18 minutes why well because it’s
socially acceptable and you came here
and you Peyton you audio room here all
the socialist it’s stuff where we might
go why would you do that well what you
guys could do is even in the hallways is
oh hi how are you and if they have a
strange kind of question like look up to
their face of why did they just say hi
to you you could even simply go I just
wanted to say hi doing to make you feel
included because that’s really what we
want we really want to be included we
want to just be able to blend in we may
have you know we may be all flappy and
we may be moving all the time like me
I’m always moving I actually got to have
a circling session with
they presented the one in blue over
there and it was nice she came into my
world and we had a moment where we don’t
know each other but we had that circling
connection and you guys can do that too
if you see somebody circling I’ve been
circling literally walking in circles
this red circle is perfect for walking
in circles let me tell you you know if
you join them that is and if and of
course if they allow you to because
sometimes they’ll be like don’t join my
world it’s mine sometimes but often or
not we are honored that you took that
moment to join our world you take that
moment by walking in circles with me it
means it to me that shows you care
enough to one acknowledge that i’m doing
something too you’ll get to know maybe
how it feels you know to to really why
am i doing it you know it’s it’s calming
it’s it’s nice it’s relaxing it’s
predictable because it’s a circle it
doesn’t end routine so when you see
people in the halls and stuff like that
you know you never know you could you
know i also have a friend her name is
dale and she came to my school and grade
nine and i was not popular back then I I
was really not popular awkward awkward
very awkward and but she came from Megan
school and said hey there’s this guy I
know his name is Alex why don’t you say
hi to him he’s pretty cool he’s weird
but he’s pretty cool too so she did so
she ended on this is how we met and this
is how we became best friends of each 10
15 years is that she just said hi to me
and it was so weird because no one said
hi to me before because no one really I
don’t think it was that well I was
really awkward but it was how do you
approach somebody autism or not how do
you make that connection with people
it’s hard and then with people with
autism a lot of times we we won’t
respond back because one we may not
even I’ve heard you because we’re so pay
attention to all the stimuli but also we
don’t know what to say either you know
it’s where I’m so now robotic that I go
you know somebody goes hey how are you
I’m good even if I’m not I’m good so you
can you and you’ll be able to tell by
like my tone of voice be like hey how
are you good clearly I’m awesome so you
know you can go oh I hope you have a
good day you know or something like that
so that was simply and then when I
started talking to Dale we start I had a
farm back then and I had goats and if
you know anything about me I love goats
even more than I love my chickens so she
would talk to me about my goat Kate and
she would I’d tell her stories about
little funny stories and you know it was
funny because even back then which I
just actually remembered she go oh wow
you should be like a stand-up comedian
and I’m like yeah no I’ll never do that
and it’s kind of funny now that I
actually do it for a living so that’s
pretty cool but um yeah she she she and
megan we they would both come over and
they would both always come over and
then they bring their friends over and
by this time I was ok with people coming
over it’s been like 10 years constantly
people coming over and playing with me
and I’d bring them on like trips camping
trips it was a lot also about the
parents is really key to to foster the
outside friendship of school because
school you have your school friends but
a lot of times they might not be your
home friends where the parents really
got to get involved and go okay I’m
going to bring my kid over whether your
kid likes it or not and my and then my
mom will go he’s not going to like it
but yes bring him over or bring her over
and stuff like that so there’s a lot of
fostering and a lot of time and effort
that everyone has to the kids the
parents all have to get involved too to
really keep a friendship going so I’m
going to end it now but my kind of
challenge to you is there are so many
people with autism in this in this town
really I want you guys to go home and
then when you see a person with autism I
want you to go I want you to say hi to
them similar item you never know you
might have a best friend of 20 years
thank you [Applause]