whoa hi let me tell you something
in my 20s I had so much fun I’m not
greedy brag on myself for a second but
before I do I know you’re probably
thinking right now like but he’s still
in his 20s cuz that’s what you’re
thinking
okay so anyway in my 20s I had a lot of
fun I was living in New York City and I
had some of the best friends because
they were extremely vibrant energetic
they liked to drink and party so did I
my early 20s did I’m early 20s and I
also made a mistake though I was kind of
added to the fun which is that I fell in
love I fell like hardcore in love I fell
in love with this guy who was from Paris
and he was studying at NYU he was only
there for a year and he was one of those
like mushy types of people like kissing
in public and you know making me laugh a
lot and really energetic you know I mean
I actually kind of felt like bad sex in
a city character like that was that I
forget what her name was but only in
like the black gay version all right I
was doing my thing I was having a blast
I was full of life even a my healthiest
too but then all of a sudden things
changed very quickly I almost forgot and
I think he forgot that he had to go back
to Paris because he was only there for a
year and forgot so much that I found
myself in the middle of LaGuardia
Airport in New York City crying because
he was packing up to leave where he was
leaving I mean crying like we cry like
nasty snotty just really uncute losing
control of my facial muscles crying in
public because I don’t do that
heartbroken just shattered the first
time I fell in love and the first time
I’ve gotten my heart broken so go back
to the city he’s across the pond I’m
living my life best I can
moving forward
and I’m walking down the street of New
York City and all of a sudden I felt
this huge like clutch in my chest and I
ended up running to the emergency room
and I get there and I discover by the
doctors that my left lung had collapsed
really like can you add any more to this
so I get in like just bring it all on
universe clearly I got my heart broken
just take my lung – it was on the left
side right next to my heart so I’m in
the I’m prepping for surgery my mom is
calling cuz she’s like my mom by the way
is my BFF she is but she’s a mom oh and
she flew to New York City to be by beam
on my side and I woke up and I was still
heavily medicated like really super high
and my mother looks at me and she said
Jason this is what we’re gonna do we’re
gonna take you home I’m bringing you to
Minneapolis with me well mom had been
living in Minneapolis for a while
and I was really high mind you and I
said okay now when I was living in New
York City and partying having fun and
being in love being free in my mind I
had really really really wanted to
finish college because I hadn’t finished
yet and I thought that maybe I would
move to a new city at some point and get
it together but it took a heartbreak and
a collapsed lung to get oh and being
high and my mom all those things to get
me to leave and come to Minneapolis or
come to Minnesota the Midwest so we come
to Minneapolis I stay with my mom for a
month and my stepfather and I cannot
live with them more than like six or
seven days so about time I was healed I
got an apartment downtown in Minneapolis
and then it all sunk in my life in New
York City and the fun and the fierceness
and all that was kind of over and I’m
here in Minnesota and I don’t even think
in my head I could actually visualize at
this point
I mean maybe my education wasn’t that
great I don’t know but I didn’t know
where Minnesota where was on the map
exactly socially was very very weird
walking around the city people walk way
too slow for me people often times and
my social circles are really quiet or
very very stoic I think of myself as a
very expressive person and so people
looking at me like children of the corn
I’m like well what do you think about me
I have no idea what’s going on and then
to top it all off I’m walking around my
little area in Minneapolis and I’m like
where are the black people at here I
mean it literally snowed here like not
just participation and frozen rain but
it’s snow like the word what do you keep
black people in this town like searching
for them I laugh about that but I was
also really experiencing heavy bouts of
depression and severe anxiety to the
point where I was in my one-room
apartment downtown
and I thought for a moment it’s like I
don’t need to be here anymore
my entire existence and and having fun
in New York City was over now I’m here
in the tundra and on the Prairie and I’m
lost so in my belly aching I emailed a
friend I actually went on to social
media
it was myspace for some of the newer
Millennials just came before the
Facebook and I get on this little
messenger and I write to my friend oh I
hate Minneapolis too many white people
here and I’m depressed and I I miss New
York and I miss you I miss my friends
and the person who I was emailing her
name is Jessie and I think of her as my
Columbian Queen she’s fierce she’s
phenomenal she’s always that person who
I asked advice or when I was going
through something she was my go-to
person and I emailed her with my
complaints and I’m hating life I mean I
was just coming back to New York City
and she said an email very short and
simple bloom where you were planted know
was that and I read it in my depression
and heartache and living here in this
new bizarre city and knowing me the time
I was probably like what the hell is
that supposed to mean and you know
Jessie I don’t like like nature and play
it’s not for me like this metaphor it’s
not working and so in my response I
remember I actually wrote thanks by and
moved on and then about a month later I
couldn’t get this visual out of my head
this like little like sunflower growing
out of a crack one kind of concrete I
was thinking about this bloom where
you’re planted and I tried to ignore it
and then as I apply for college here and
trying to kind of keep it moving I
started inquiring about what was the
city I was living in what is this all
about and what is it that I want in that
moment asking questions of people about
were a black people where else should be
tea people where why are people so
bizarre here asking questions I didn’t
realize it until more so now I was
actually planting a seed I was planting
a seed for digging into the community
that I am now a part of when I started
to inquire about where people are what
are people doing and eventually I got
responses I started to learn that there
were a lot of intelligent amazing social
justice advocates in this community a
lot of intelligent black people this
community a lot of queer black people in
this community that I couldn’t literally
see for all the snow they were there and
when I asked questions I got involved it
started connecting next thing you know I
found myself doing community organizing
with twin cities black pride I met Harry
waters Jr who is a faculty member he
area McAllister I met people who are my
best friends to this day
because what I was starting to do was
ask questions and this is the hardest
part I ask questions without trying to
not pass judgment because the more and
more I pass judgment the more and more I
sunk into depression the more more sunk
into the feeling of frustration living
in the Twin Cities and it was actually
stifling my ability to wait for it to
grow
from that point on I dug deep in my
heels I dug my heels deep into school I
dug my heels deep into learning more
about what this was this community was
all about and then I started asking
myself a question what power do I have
little old black kids from the south
with an attitude a little feminine
little neurotic what power do I have I’m
loud I am angry enough to actually make
some kind of change I’m persistent
and I think usually and I’ve been told
I’m pretty influential so I was at the
University of Minnesota and I was
complaining about not having space now
for LGBT people of color and other
students were too and I said to hell
with it we’re gonna do it and we’re
gonna do it here at the University we’re
not gonna ask permission and we’re gonna
take up space that group that started or
co-founded with some other students at
the U is still there after eight years
going strong and serving people of color
I also fell in love again because I had
opened myself back up and it wasn’t
blocking my ability to grow so from that
moment on I started to see myself what
potential I had and again going back to
boom where you were planted as much as I
ignored that quote because of his nature
and its happiness I wasn’t really feelin
if I actually stopped long enough and
look around in my surroundings and
assess the power that I have I had the I
had more control and more power than I
gave myself credit for
now this host talk I’m doing right now
it is not like a pull yourself up by
your bootstraps talk because like I said
before I experienced a lot of mental
health issues I experienced a lot of
pain and I’m a black queer kid in the
Midwest so
tell you something but this story is
more about what do we do and where do we
go back to when we forget what power
that we actually do have bloom where
you’re planted is not a story or not a
statement of being complete it is a
story of continuous growth so I am still
blooming every single day as I move
through this world and I do hope that no
matter where you are no matter where you
find yourself and MacAllister on campus
off campus that you continue to assess
the power that you have take advice from
those who are giving it to you and bloom
where you are planted thank you for
listening
[Applause]
in my 20s I had so much fun I’m not
greedy brag on myself for a second but
before I do I know you’re probably
thinking right now like but he’s still
in his 20s cuz that’s what you’re
thinking
okay so anyway in my 20s I had a lot of
fun I was living in New York City and I
had some of the best friends because
they were extremely vibrant energetic
they liked to drink and party so did I
my early 20s did I’m early 20s and I
also made a mistake though I was kind of
added to the fun which is that I fell in
love I fell like hardcore in love I fell
in love with this guy who was from Paris
and he was studying at NYU he was only
there for a year and he was one of those
like mushy types of people like kissing
in public and you know making me laugh a
lot and really energetic you know I mean
I actually kind of felt like bad sex in
a city character like that was that I
forget what her name was but only in
like the black gay version all right I
was doing my thing I was having a blast
I was full of life even a my healthiest
too but then all of a sudden things
changed very quickly I almost forgot and
I think he forgot that he had to go back
to Paris because he was only there for a
year and forgot so much that I found
myself in the middle of LaGuardia
Airport in New York City crying because
he was packing up to leave where he was
leaving I mean crying like we cry like
nasty snotty just really uncute losing
control of my facial muscles crying in
public because I don’t do that
heartbroken just shattered the first
time I fell in love and the first time
I’ve gotten my heart broken so go back
to the city he’s across the pond I’m
living my life best I can
moving forward
and I’m walking down the street of New
York City and all of a sudden I felt
this huge like clutch in my chest and I
ended up running to the emergency room
and I get there and I discover by the
doctors that my left lung had collapsed
really like can you add any more to this
so I get in like just bring it all on
universe clearly I got my heart broken
just take my lung – it was on the left
side right next to my heart so I’m in
the I’m prepping for surgery my mom is
calling cuz she’s like my mom by the way
is my BFF she is but she’s a mom oh and
she flew to New York City to be by beam
on my side and I woke up and I was still
heavily medicated like really super high
and my mother looks at me and she said
Jason this is what we’re gonna do we’re
gonna take you home I’m bringing you to
Minneapolis with me well mom had been
living in Minneapolis for a while
and I was really high mind you and I
said okay now when I was living in New
York City and partying having fun and
being in love being free in my mind I
had really really really wanted to
finish college because I hadn’t finished
yet and I thought that maybe I would
move to a new city at some point and get
it together but it took a heartbreak and
a collapsed lung to get oh and being
high and my mom all those things to get
me to leave and come to Minneapolis or
come to Minnesota the Midwest so we come
to Minneapolis I stay with my mom for a
month and my stepfather and I cannot
live with them more than like six or
seven days so about time I was healed I
got an apartment downtown in Minneapolis
and then it all sunk in my life in New
York City and the fun and the fierceness
and all that was kind of over and I’m
here in Minnesota and I don’t even think
in my head I could actually visualize at
this point
I mean maybe my education wasn’t that
great I don’t know but I didn’t know
where Minnesota where was on the map
exactly socially was very very weird
walking around the city people walk way
too slow for me people often times and
my social circles are really quiet or
very very stoic I think of myself as a
very expressive person and so people
looking at me like children of the corn
I’m like well what do you think about me
I have no idea what’s going on and then
to top it all off I’m walking around my
little area in Minneapolis and I’m like
where are the black people at here I
mean it literally snowed here like not
just participation and frozen rain but
it’s snow like the word what do you keep
black people in this town like searching
for them I laugh about that but I was
also really experiencing heavy bouts of
depression and severe anxiety to the
point where I was in my one-room
apartment downtown
and I thought for a moment it’s like I
don’t need to be here anymore
my entire existence and and having fun
in New York City was over now I’m here
in the tundra and on the Prairie and I’m
lost so in my belly aching I emailed a
friend I actually went on to social
media
it was myspace for some of the newer
Millennials just came before the
Facebook and I get on this little
messenger and I write to my friend oh I
hate Minneapolis too many white people
here and I’m depressed and I I miss New
York and I miss you I miss my friends
and the person who I was emailing her
name is Jessie and I think of her as my
Columbian Queen she’s fierce she’s
phenomenal she’s always that person who
I asked advice or when I was going
through something she was my go-to
person and I emailed her with my
complaints and I’m hating life I mean I
was just coming back to New York City
and she said an email very short and
simple bloom where you were planted know
was that and I read it in my depression
and heartache and living here in this
new bizarre city and knowing me the time
I was probably like what the hell is
that supposed to mean and you know
Jessie I don’t like like nature and play
it’s not for me like this metaphor it’s
not working and so in my response I
remember I actually wrote thanks by and
moved on and then about a month later I
couldn’t get this visual out of my head
this like little like sunflower growing
out of a crack one kind of concrete I
was thinking about this bloom where
you’re planted and I tried to ignore it
and then as I apply for college here and
trying to kind of keep it moving I
started inquiring about what was the
city I was living in what is this all
about and what is it that I want in that
moment asking questions of people about
were a black people where else should be
tea people where why are people so
bizarre here asking questions I didn’t
realize it until more so now I was
actually planting a seed I was planting
a seed for digging into the community
that I am now a part of when I started
to inquire about where people are what
are people doing and eventually I got
responses I started to learn that there
were a lot of intelligent amazing social
justice advocates in this community a
lot of intelligent black people this
community a lot of queer black people in
this community that I couldn’t literally
see for all the snow they were there and
when I asked questions I got involved it
started connecting next thing you know I
found myself doing community organizing
with twin cities black pride I met Harry
waters Jr who is a faculty member he
area McAllister I met people who are my
best friends to this day
because what I was starting to do was
ask questions and this is the hardest
part I ask questions without trying to
not pass judgment because the more and
more I pass judgment the more and more I
sunk into depression the more more sunk
into the feeling of frustration living
in the Twin Cities and it was actually
stifling my ability to wait for it to
grow
from that point on I dug deep in my
heels I dug my heels deep into school I
dug my heels deep into learning more
about what this was this community was
all about and then I started asking
myself a question what power do I have
little old black kids from the south
with an attitude a little feminine
little neurotic what power do I have I’m
loud I am angry enough to actually make
some kind of change I’m persistent
and I think usually and I’ve been told
I’m pretty influential so I was at the
University of Minnesota and I was
complaining about not having space now
for LGBT people of color and other
students were too and I said to hell
with it we’re gonna do it and we’re
gonna do it here at the University we’re
not gonna ask permission and we’re gonna
take up space that group that started or
co-founded with some other students at
the U is still there after eight years
going strong and serving people of color
I also fell in love again because I had
opened myself back up and it wasn’t
blocking my ability to grow so from that
moment on I started to see myself what
potential I had and again going back to
boom where you were planted as much as I
ignored that quote because of his nature
and its happiness I wasn’t really feelin
if I actually stopped long enough and
look around in my surroundings and
assess the power that I have I had the I
had more control and more power than I
gave myself credit for
now this host talk I’m doing right now
it is not like a pull yourself up by
your bootstraps talk because like I said
before I experienced a lot of mental
health issues I experienced a lot of
pain and I’m a black queer kid in the
Midwest so
tell you something but this story is
more about what do we do and where do we
go back to when we forget what power
that we actually do have bloom where
you’re planted is not a story or not a
statement of being complete it is a
story of continuous growth so I am still
blooming every single day as I move
through this world and I do hope that no
matter where you are no matter where you
find yourself and MacAllister on campus
off campus that you continue to assess
the power that you have take advice from
those who are giving it to you and bloom
where you are planted thank you for
listening
[Applause]
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