[Applause]
there’s a singular reaction that you see
when you casually mention to an American
that your favorite food is
it’s a look of horror and we split with
the flash are you from Mars and when I
say no just Brazil they’re even more
cookies oh but you speak English so well
yeah well I have American Spanish oh so
you’re not really resilient right it’s a
conversation I’ve had repeatedly
throughout my life and one that’s often
left me was a sense
in the eyes of others I truly belong
anywhere then I can’t rightfully claim
culture that I grew up in my entire life
or the culture of my family for most of
modern American history the answer to
the question where are you from there
may have been one or two places where
you had a history but for the most part
people felt a general sense of belonging
to the places they live and the people
they grew up with today is our society
becomes increasingly more globalized the
answer to this question becomes more and
more daunting to ask where are you from
implies much more than a geographical
location and asks more about the
psychological journey in person and the
place
along the way for me when I was six
months old
my parents moved to Belo Horizonte
Brazil I carry an American passport
though I have a permanent in my
childhood trips to the states were
restricted to short family vacations and
trips to the store and stock up on
inexpensive clothes and peanut butter
I was always destined to be the American
Brazilian in America when I was 14 years
old as someone across the Terek and for
the first time in my life feelings I had
experienced for years finally the real
efficient in a culture outside that with
their parents what this results in is
the parents culture and the child’s
learn about the blaze to form an
entirely new entirely unique third
culture that is unlike ether of the
exclusively so how is this similar to
what’s happening more and more today we
are all products of a globalized
generation though your primary influence
may be Western culture an increasingly
globalized society focused on the
of the world still makes its mark on
your cultural influences and ways that
you might not realize in fact is
particularly in the United States with
increasing influences due to immigration
and minorities a more and more diverse
society is emergent made by day in fact
by 2060 the Census Bureau has predicted
that non-hispanic might no longer be the
majority in our country so what does
this mean for us
constantly changing in order to do this
we must first understand that this lack
of belonging leads to aloneness that is
not unique to certain culture kids
loneliness is an epidemic society a
product or unconstant and unpredictable
world loneliness is inevitably something
near all dealing with on a day-to-day
basis it hides in ways we might not even
realize according to research conducted
by dr. Holt
a psychology professor at Brigham Young
University and a leading researcher in
the field of mental illness loneliness
has a higher risk associated with it
than obesity and increases your risk of
mortality by 50 percent compared to
those with stronger sir for support
loneliness has the equivalent risk of
smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day a
sense of belonging
according to dr. Thielen repellency air
at the Stanford center for research and
disease prevention appears to be a basic
human need as basic as food or shelter
in fact social support may be one of the
critical elements distinguishing those
who remain healthy from those who become
ill the only way to navigate belonging
in a world that is constantly changing
is to understand yourself in such a way
that you’re able to belong anywhere Maya
Angelou once said you’re only free when
you realize that you belong no place you
belong every place no place at all the
price is high
it’s great to understand this we must
first understand that the idea of
identity and belonging must be adaptable
and moldable the only way to truly
belong wherever we are everywhere and
nowhere is to have your sense of
belonging tied to a deep understanding
itself rather than the always changing
and fluctuating feelings of being known
and understood by others no one can know
you more deeply than yourself if you
surrender your sense of belonging to the
hands of others they’re always changing
fluctuating and unpredictable feelings
will disappoint every time the same is
true for Geographic places and political
parties living in a world of constant
mobility fluctuation and change are
inevitable you may often return to your
hometown to find that the places you
wanted once knew
beautiful pastures building horses trees
or even your own high schools have now
moved on a bit replaced by apartment
complexes the new drugstore or even the
McDonald’s looking back on my life it
was easy for me to feel the effects of
loneliness I exist between cultures or
perhaps more correctly I am of a third
culture not completely of my culture of
birth and not completely of the culture
in which I grew up but learning more
about third culture has formed a sense
of my own identity allowing me to see
that I’m a product of and belong to more
than one place and that that’s ok
I desire this sense of identity
everyone looking back on my life I my
life was defined by the effects of
inconsistency in inconstancy due to
constant adaptability and change but
what this taught me was that in order to
truly belong I could not cling to things
that change I had to change alongside
the inconsistency of my life as friends
moved away I learned to keep in touch
and make new friends
and as I had to move I learned to fight
the voice inside my head that told me
that I didn’t belong anywhere and to
tell it that I would be just fine
because I belong everywhere in Newark
our our world is so big and diverse in
order to combat loneliness and isolation
and all the feelings that target
belonging and identity we can no longer
choose to identify ourselves by the
place on which we stand we must choose
to self-identify as citizens of the
world and this is not to say that
patriotism Pride and nationalism are not
important these are incredibly just
important distinctives of our culture
the give us a sense of pride and
ownership over where we live and are and
were raised but relying on only these
distinctives for our sense of belonging
can be detrimental to our sense of
belonging if all we have to rely on is
one type of person in one type of place
what happens when the places we want
no longer exists and when with the
people we relied on for that feeling of
belonging move on and change so I’d like
to propose three ways to embrace living
in a modern society number one travel as
much as you can as far as you can
whether it’s across the ocean across
town are just into your neighbor’s
backyard get to know spaces and places
where you feel uncomfortable and
willingly attach your heart to things
that you never thought possible and I
promise you that as you give pieces of
your day to do it
choices on earth you will get it back
ten times fold number two eat the
chicken hearts to know a people you must
eat their food Anthony Bourdain once
said if I’m an advocate for anything as
much as you can as far as you can
whether it’s across the ocean or just
across the river to put yourself into
someone else’s shoes or at least just
eat their food number three in choirs
and breathe ask questions begin to
understand more of who others are and
what makes them who they are the
cultural their boat rides in the end
what makes them unique and
individualistic and as you do that as
you begin to understand more of who what
makes others who they are you will begin
to understand more of what makes you who
you are and as we do that we will begin
to build roots among us and connections
and those roots will ultimately you
two branches of social support it will
carry us away from loneliness and
isolation and towards belonging more and
more to ourselves and those who matter
most to us and care for us most these
three things are not going to change the
world and they’re not going to solve any
of the conflicts that we have in the
world today but these three things I
promise you they will change you and
that is the first step towards helping
ourselves and others belong wherever we are
there’s a singular reaction that you see
when you casually mention to an American
that your favorite food is
it’s a look of horror and we split with
the flash are you from Mars and when I
say no just Brazil they’re even more
cookies oh but you speak English so well
yeah well I have American Spanish oh so
you’re not really resilient right it’s a
conversation I’ve had repeatedly
throughout my life and one that’s often
left me was a sense
in the eyes of others I truly belong
anywhere then I can’t rightfully claim
culture that I grew up in my entire life
or the culture of my family for most of
modern American history the answer to
the question where are you from there
may have been one or two places where
you had a history but for the most part
people felt a general sense of belonging
to the places they live and the people
they grew up with today is our society
becomes increasingly more globalized the
answer to this question becomes more and
more daunting to ask where are you from
implies much more than a geographical
location and asks more about the
psychological journey in person and the
place
along the way for me when I was six
months old
my parents moved to Belo Horizonte
Brazil I carry an American passport
though I have a permanent in my
childhood trips to the states were
restricted to short family vacations and
trips to the store and stock up on
inexpensive clothes and peanut butter
I was always destined to be the American
Brazilian in America when I was 14 years
old as someone across the Terek and for
the first time in my life feelings I had
experienced for years finally the real
efficient in a culture outside that with
their parents what this results in is
the parents culture and the child’s
learn about the blaze to form an
entirely new entirely unique third
culture that is unlike ether of the
exclusively so how is this similar to
what’s happening more and more today we
are all products of a globalized
generation though your primary influence
may be Western culture an increasingly
globalized society focused on the
of the world still makes its mark on
your cultural influences and ways that
you might not realize in fact is
particularly in the United States with
increasing influences due to immigration
and minorities a more and more diverse
society is emergent made by day in fact
by 2060 the Census Bureau has predicted
that non-hispanic might no longer be the
majority in our country so what does
this mean for us
constantly changing in order to do this
we must first understand that this lack
of belonging leads to aloneness that is
not unique to certain culture kids
loneliness is an epidemic society a
product or unconstant and unpredictable
world loneliness is inevitably something
near all dealing with on a day-to-day
basis it hides in ways we might not even
realize according to research conducted
by dr. Holt
a psychology professor at Brigham Young
University and a leading researcher in
the field of mental illness loneliness
has a higher risk associated with it
than obesity and increases your risk of
mortality by 50 percent compared to
those with stronger sir for support
loneliness has the equivalent risk of
smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day a
sense of belonging
according to dr. Thielen repellency air
at the Stanford center for research and
disease prevention appears to be a basic
human need as basic as food or shelter
in fact social support may be one of the
critical elements distinguishing those
who remain healthy from those who become
ill the only way to navigate belonging
in a world that is constantly changing
is to understand yourself in such a way
that you’re able to belong anywhere Maya
Angelou once said you’re only free when
you realize that you belong no place you
belong every place no place at all the
price is high
it’s great to understand this we must
first understand that the idea of
identity and belonging must be adaptable
and moldable the only way to truly
belong wherever we are everywhere and
nowhere is to have your sense of
belonging tied to a deep understanding
itself rather than the always changing
and fluctuating feelings of being known
and understood by others no one can know
you more deeply than yourself if you
surrender your sense of belonging to the
hands of others they’re always changing
fluctuating and unpredictable feelings
will disappoint every time the same is
true for Geographic places and political
parties living in a world of constant
mobility fluctuation and change are
inevitable you may often return to your
hometown to find that the places you
wanted once knew
beautiful pastures building horses trees
or even your own high schools have now
moved on a bit replaced by apartment
complexes the new drugstore or even the
McDonald’s looking back on my life it
was easy for me to feel the effects of
loneliness I exist between cultures or
perhaps more correctly I am of a third
culture not completely of my culture of
birth and not completely of the culture
in which I grew up but learning more
about third culture has formed a sense
of my own identity allowing me to see
that I’m a product of and belong to more
than one place and that that’s ok
I desire this sense of identity
everyone looking back on my life I my
life was defined by the effects of
inconsistency in inconstancy due to
constant adaptability and change but
what this taught me was that in order to
truly belong I could not cling to things
that change I had to change alongside
the inconsistency of my life as friends
moved away I learned to keep in touch
and make new friends
and as I had to move I learned to fight
the voice inside my head that told me
that I didn’t belong anywhere and to
tell it that I would be just fine
because I belong everywhere in Newark
our our world is so big and diverse in
order to combat loneliness and isolation
and all the feelings that target
belonging and identity we can no longer
choose to identify ourselves by the
place on which we stand we must choose
to self-identify as citizens of the
world and this is not to say that
patriotism Pride and nationalism are not
important these are incredibly just
important distinctives of our culture
the give us a sense of pride and
ownership over where we live and are and
were raised but relying on only these
distinctives for our sense of belonging
can be detrimental to our sense of
belonging if all we have to rely on is
one type of person in one type of place
what happens when the places we want
no longer exists and when with the
people we relied on for that feeling of
belonging move on and change so I’d like
to propose three ways to embrace living
in a modern society number one travel as
much as you can as far as you can
whether it’s across the ocean across
town are just into your neighbor’s
backyard get to know spaces and places
where you feel uncomfortable and
willingly attach your heart to things
that you never thought possible and I
promise you that as you give pieces of
your day to do it
choices on earth you will get it back
ten times fold number two eat the
chicken hearts to know a people you must
eat their food Anthony Bourdain once
said if I’m an advocate for anything as
much as you can as far as you can
whether it’s across the ocean or just
across the river to put yourself into
someone else’s shoes or at least just
eat their food number three in choirs
and breathe ask questions begin to
understand more of who others are and
what makes them who they are the
cultural their boat rides in the end
what makes them unique and
individualistic and as you do that as
you begin to understand more of who what
makes others who they are you will begin
to understand more of what makes you who
you are and as we do that we will begin
to build roots among us and connections
and those roots will ultimately you
two branches of social support it will
carry us away from loneliness and
isolation and towards belonging more and
more to ourselves and those who matter
most to us and care for us most these
three things are not going to change the
world and they’re not going to solve any
of the conflicts that we have in the
world today but these three things I
promise you they will change you and
that is the first step towards helping
ourselves and others belong wherever we are
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