hi my name is chell oh man I am 19 years
old and this is me today now this is
also me now the person in that photo
dreamed of becoming him now obviously
it’s been quite a journey to get here I
have had to make as many mental
realizations as sorry I’ve had to
overcome as many mental obstacles as
physical to become him to become me the
man I am today
I had to make several realizations the
first being that I am transgendered the
second learning the correct terminology
to describe myself authentically and the
third realizing the difference between
presentation and identification now my
mind has felt distant from my body since
day one I remember always longing for my
body to appear more stereotypically
masculine than feminine and I begged my
mom to shop in the boys section for me
in an elementary school I was known as
the boy named Rachel once puberty hey I
felt cornered into living life as a girl
I distinctly remember certain moments
where I just would press down on my
chest as if that would stop it from
growing
but what mom would ask if I wanted to be
a boy or a girl I fell silent it was a
catch-22 I believe that by saying boy I
would be forced to leave some of most of
my feminine traits behind some of which
that he did connect with however there
were so many characteristics associated
with boy that it did connect to so how
was I supposed to choose one without
losing bits and
of myself in the problem in the process
after eighteen years of searching I came
across this term genderqueer
relating to or having a gender identity
that is other than male or female is a
combination of the two genders or is on
a continuum of gender fireworks shot
through my mind this is it is how I’ve
always felt the next time someone asks
me boy or girl I said or after finding
the words to express how I felt
others started to pressure me into using
specific terminology that reflected
their own understandings of gender for
example once I started to associate
myself with the term genderqueer many
told me to accompany it with they/them
pronouns so I decided to test it out but
that all-too-familiar feeling of
discomfort emerged yet again I felt
cornered but luckily that discomfort
sparked a moment of clarity gender
identity does not have to dictate what
terminology and/or pronouns you use for
example I do identify as genderqueer but
I do not associate myself with they/them
pronouns I prefer he him which brings me
to my last revelation understanding the
difference between presentation and
inherent identification wait what
let’s let’s take a step back here
presentation is the way that you present
yourself let’s say your mannerisms – the
clothes you wear – your overall
appearance how you perform I say
inherent identification to indicate how
you identify inside regardless of how
you perform I identified trans masculine
by taking testosterone luckily luckily
enough it’s a huge privilege I’m able to
have
but mentally I identify as genderqueer
again the way that you present does not
have to correlate to your inherent
identification and this is valid now I
could stand on this stage and rant for
hours about all of the realizations that
I’ve made to get here and to become him
and to become the man that I am today
but I also want to show you the process
hi my name is chell and man and this is
my voice one day auntie hi my name is
chell amman and this is my voice three
weeks on tape hi my name is chell man
and this is my voice six weeks on teeth
hi my name is Charlie man and this is my
voice seven weeks on teeth hi my name is
Charlie man and this is my voice nine
weeks on team hi my name is Chung man
and this is my voice ten weeks on T hi
my name is cello man and this is my
voice twelve weeks on T hi my name is
Joe and man and this is my voice 16
weeks
on T hi my name is Joe man and this is
my voice 20 weeks on T hi my name is
cello man and this is my voice 22 weeks
on teeth hi my name is chella man and
this is my voice 26 minutes of T hi my
name is Kjell man and it’s my voice 27
minutes
hi my name is Charma man who’s my voice
28 weeks on T hi my name is Charlie man
and this is my voice 29 weeks on T hi my
name is John man and there’s no boys
32 weeks on T hi my name is chell a man
and this is my voice 33 weeks on T hi my
name is gentleman and this Midway’s 30
40 % t hi my name is Joe man and thank
you for listening to my dead dog thank
you [Applause]
old and this is me today now this is
also me now the person in that photo
dreamed of becoming him now obviously
it’s been quite a journey to get here I
have had to make as many mental
realizations as sorry I’ve had to
overcome as many mental obstacles as
physical to become him to become me the
man I am today
I had to make several realizations the
first being that I am transgendered the
second learning the correct terminology
to describe myself authentically and the
third realizing the difference between
presentation and identification now my
mind has felt distant from my body since
day one I remember always longing for my
body to appear more stereotypically
masculine than feminine and I begged my
mom to shop in the boys section for me
in an elementary school I was known as
the boy named Rachel once puberty hey I
felt cornered into living life as a girl
I distinctly remember certain moments
where I just would press down on my
chest as if that would stop it from
growing
but what mom would ask if I wanted to be
a boy or a girl I fell silent it was a
catch-22 I believe that by saying boy I
would be forced to leave some of most of
my feminine traits behind some of which
that he did connect with however there
were so many characteristics associated
with boy that it did connect to so how
was I supposed to choose one without
losing bits and
of myself in the problem in the process
after eighteen years of searching I came
across this term genderqueer
relating to or having a gender identity
that is other than male or female is a
combination of the two genders or is on
a continuum of gender fireworks shot
through my mind this is it is how I’ve
always felt the next time someone asks
me boy or girl I said or after finding
the words to express how I felt
others started to pressure me into using
specific terminology that reflected
their own understandings of gender for
example once I started to associate
myself with the term genderqueer many
told me to accompany it with they/them
pronouns so I decided to test it out but
that all-too-familiar feeling of
discomfort emerged yet again I felt
cornered but luckily that discomfort
sparked a moment of clarity gender
identity does not have to dictate what
terminology and/or pronouns you use for
example I do identify as genderqueer but
I do not associate myself with they/them
pronouns I prefer he him which brings me
to my last revelation understanding the
difference between presentation and
inherent identification wait what
let’s let’s take a step back here
presentation is the way that you present
yourself let’s say your mannerisms – the
clothes you wear – your overall
appearance how you perform I say
inherent identification to indicate how
you identify inside regardless of how
you perform I identified trans masculine
by taking testosterone luckily luckily
enough it’s a huge privilege I’m able to
have
but mentally I identify as genderqueer
again the way that you present does not
have to correlate to your inherent
identification and this is valid now I
could stand on this stage and rant for
hours about all of the realizations that
I’ve made to get here and to become him
and to become the man that I am today
but I also want to show you the process
hi my name is chell and man and this is
my voice one day auntie hi my name is
chell amman and this is my voice three
weeks on tape hi my name is chell man
and this is my voice six weeks on teeth
hi my name is Charlie man and this is my
voice seven weeks on teeth hi my name is
Charlie man and this is my voice nine
weeks on team hi my name is Chung man
and this is my voice ten weeks on T hi
my name is cello man and this is my
voice twelve weeks on T hi my name is
Joe and man and this is my voice 16
weeks
on T hi my name is Joe man and this is
my voice 20 weeks on T hi my name is
cello man and this is my voice 22 weeks
on teeth hi my name is chella man and
this is my voice 26 minutes of T hi my
name is Kjell man and it’s my voice 27
minutes
hi my name is Charma man who’s my voice
28 weeks on T hi my name is Charlie man
and this is my voice 29 weeks on T hi my
name is John man and there’s no boys
32 weeks on T hi my name is chell a man
and this is my voice 33 weeks on T hi my
name is gentleman and this Midway’s 30
40 % t hi my name is Joe man and thank
you for listening to my dead dog thank
you [Applause]
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